Greetings, nash031 - DINK, 36-yo military officer

[daylatedollarshort]

Congratulations on the little one coming soon!

 

[nash031]

Congrats! Are you set on getting out at 20, or would you continue for a few more years on AD if given the opportunity vs starting a bridge career?

I'm pretty well set on it, but I don't burn bridges. Impending arrival of DD1 makes it all the more likely. I don't want to miss a thing if I can help it!

 

[BlueAFMom]

Congrats on the D1!

Suggestion: If you haven't already used your Post 9/11 GI Bill or have other plans for it, I recommend researching it for possible transfer to your DD1 as soon as possible. There is a 4-year (?) commitment upon transfer but the full-ride scholarship for one kid may be worth the extra time. It significantly changed our financial future/retirement plan.

 

[CabinLifeAt50]

Best of luck and welcome to the forums!

 

[Luv 2 Travel]

Heh, just looked at this again after seeing a few updates from others. So here's mine:

I've signed the contract to stick around through at least 20. It only made sense. Now at 16 years and tracking above 55% of our minimum required liquid NW for FI, I think we're on track. Still saving at the same rate as two-plus years ago, but raises and such mean the net going in has grown. I suspect we'll be about 10% above our estimated FI number by 2020. Now working on ways to reduce spending, and focusing on what's next during whatever downtime there is. Definitely still focused on keeping up the current performance, however... No ROAD here.

So that's that. Riding out the last four years... Should be fun, exciting, and eye opening as 20 approaches!

Good for you. Very good decision. Hubby retired at 20 w/ the AF, I bought my time back when I went Civil service (ain't cheap supporting 5 kids!) You'll be happy when you start collecting a pension and a second paycheck in your 40's instead of at 60 as a reservist. Invest the extra bucks. Tricare Prime is a big deal, it will be a blessing. FP said if it wasn't for that, DH wouldn't have been able to retire at 59. If you can go civil service and collect a second pension, you will be sitting very pretty!

 

[HawkeyeNFO]

1 oct '17 for me, then Uncle Sam's Navy will send me back htto the States and CIVLANTFLT.

Sent from my HUAWEI GRA-L09 using Early Retirement Forum mobile app

 

[nash031]

I like the annual updates from others, so another from me:

Orders are sorting themselves out and timing looks like I will be able to retire from active service at 20 in less than 2.5 yrs. We will see how much push back I get as we are short on guys like me around the service.

My current job is really tough on me. Boss and I don't see eye to eye, but I'm her relief in about 8 months, so we work on it. Stress levels are high and schedule uncertainty is at the maximum right now. It makes me feel more firm in my pending decision and action.

DD1 is here... now 10 months old. As mentioned in another thread, I'm not a natural with babies but I love my daughter and cherish my time with her everyday. Not sure I need any more, but I'm 49% of the vote!

I've been struggling with "what's next?" Wife tells me "we don't have to decide yet," and that's true. I don't know that I've had a time with so much uncertainty on the horizon in my life, and I'm excited yet anxious. I want to know what's next.

I've become restless in our house, restless in our locale. I'm feeling the call back east, and have eyes on the life I want to live, whether fully or semi-ER at 42. I see lower COL elsewhere and find that very attractive, but DW is happy and loves her job here. I've been the prime breadwinner all throughout by a substantial margin, so I sometimes get frustrated thinking that I may have to go find something I don't want to do here to be able to stay for her. I've told her a couple of times that to fund the life we both envision here we need more, but there is little to no interest on her part to find work that would make that more feasible. She has always worked jobs she loves, and there is significant human capital there, but I don't like feeling as though I have to be the sacrificial lamb that works a job I hate to fund the life we want.

Ultimately, she is right - we don't need to decide now. I have a job to do for a couple of years and my focus is there. But the writing is on the wall, and I'm poking around.

I have a deployment - probably my last - coming in a few weeks. It's possible the restlessness is due to stress from work, deployment and baby. I'll bide my time and see what ebbs and flows while staying the course toward FI.

We are ahead of our pace now for my target number. We will see what Mr. Market brings in the coming years.

Exciting times are ahead!

 

[Blue Collar Guy]

Love the updates, love your story. Stay safe

 

[38Chevy454]

As others said, stick it out to get the 20 years. I work with many retired military (at least for my 10 more days!!!), mostly officers O-4 to O-6, occasional E-8 or E-9. The benefits are too great to not see that light at the end. Glad you are on track and plan to do the 20 years. The pension and medical are very nice benefits.

Once out, you have a lot of options, from converting to civilian side employment or be retired and do some contract work as you want.

Depending where you ultimately want to live will determine some of that post-military career. I would not stay in so-cal. Move to lower COL and then you also don't have to work as much or as long. I grew up in CA and also lived there for some of my career, so glad to be out of there. After my 10 days and retiring, I am moving to be near DW's family; she followed me around the country for my work for 25 years, time to let her live where she wants. That will be Cincinnati OH area for me. Your case is a bit different, since you want to move and DW does not. All I can say is look at all quality of life variables.

 

[rodi]

Keep working the plan, Nash. At some point you need to sit your wife down and go over the numbers, your job frustrations, etc... she'll have to be on board with how you BOTH will move forward.

In the meantime, keep enjoying your time with your DD.

 

[FlaGator]

I like the annual updates from others, so another from me:

Orders are sorting themselves out and timing looks like I will be able to retire from active service at 20 in less than 2.5 yrs. We will see how much push back I get as we are short on guys like me around the service.

My current job is really tough on me. Boss and I don't see eye to eye, but I'm her relief in about 8 months, so we work on it. Stress levels are high and schedule uncertainty is at the maximum right now. It makes me feel more firm in my pending decision and action.

DD1 is here... now 10 months old. As mentioned in another thread, I'm not a natural with babies but I love my daughter and cherish my time with her everyday. Not sure I need any more, but I'm 49% of the vote!

I've been struggling with "what's next?" Wife tells me "we don't have to decide yet," and that's true. I don't know that I've had a time with so much uncertainty on the horizon in my life, and I'm excited yet anxious. I want to know what's next.

I've become restless in our house, restless in our locale. I'm feeling the call back east, and have eyes on the life I want to live, whether fully or semi-ER at 42. I see lower COL elsewhere and find that very attractive, but DW is happy and loves her job here. I've been the prime breadwinner all throughout by a substantial margin, so I sometimes get frustrated thinking that I may have to go find something I don't want to do here to be able to stay for her. I've told her a couple of times that to fund the life we both envision here we need more, but there is little to no interest on her part to find work that would make that more feasible. She has always worked jobs she loves, and there is significant human capital there, but I don't like feeling as though I have to be the sacrificial lamb that works a job I hate to fund the life we want.

Ultimately, she is right - we don't need to decide now. I have a job to do for a couple of years and my focus is there. But the writing is on the wall, and I'm poking around.

I have a deployment - probably my last - coming in a few weeks. It's possible the restlessness is due to stress from work, deployment and baby. I'll bide my time and see what ebbs and flows while staying the course toward FI.

We are ahead of our pace now for my target number. We will see what Mr. Market brings in the coming years.

Exciting times are ahead!

Thanks for the candid update - something for us dogs to chew on.....

The comments below are from my experience being married for 30 years, corporate career with a couple of relos, I was the breadwinner and we had two kids (now widowed, kids still at home).

You're approaching an inflection point in your life. Given your career, you've had one or more already, although they may not have been as obvious, or significant, as this one.

As you have said, there is no decision to make now, so don't lock yourself mentally into a specific path right now. My friends never found an answer to the job satisfaction/income/location/lifestyle equation, nor did I. Was tradeoffs for us. Lot of testing each other along the way, and no one is unhappy now with the diverse decisions we made. You will be well-served to have people you can bounce ideas off of, risk-free, as you approach your separation.

Think its good that you are clear on some of the important factors at this point-gives you time to let them soak on your brain, test some ideas against yourself, and try the best ones on your closest friends.

The "sacrificial lamb" comment is a "tell" you need to pay attention to. You have time for discussion with your wife and reconciliation about the future-your goals, hers and yours together as a family unit. Use it wisely.

Most importantly - thank you for your service!

 

[Aiming_4_55]

Nash - I enjoy the updates too. Congrats on the continued success of your military career, but more importantly your DD1. While you have a ton of stress and new efforts, it's worth it. You have a major milestone coming for your service. Thank you for your service and hang in there.

 

[ivinsfan]

Have a safe deployment and Thanks for your service.

As a military kid myself, I'm aware of the nuances that involve the family.
Yes, you have been the main breadwinner, but that often happens in the military family. Between moves and deployments (when you have kids), it can be very difficult for the spouse to move up the career ladder and always find interesting fulfilling work.

It kind of turns into kind of tit for tat. You're gone, the spouse feels lonely. You have to relocate a lot and pretty soon she gets to decide where you live forever and how many kids you have, because sometimes she feels as though she hasn't had much of a voice in things. And it's true, she hasn't. But it hasn't been a bed of roses for you either. Getting out of the service is almost like starting over again from scratch.

In fact your DW might be saying you don't have to decide now because she likes the way things are and hopes they will stay that way for the foreseeable future.

After your deployment, you should have time to hash out the details,hopefully on an equal footing where no one feels like the "sacrificial lamb".

 

[redduck]

I like the annual updates from others, so another from me:

Orders are sorting themselves out and timing looks like I will be able to retire from active service at 20 in less than 2.5 yrs. We will see how much push back I get as we are short on guys like me around the service.

My current job is really tough on me. Boss and I don't see eye to eye, but I'm her relief in about 8 months, so we work on it. Stress levels are high and schedule uncertainty is at the maximum right now...

Nash, thanks for the update.

I have a few (two, to be more exact) questions that I'm asking out of complete ignorance.

1. When you talk of "push-back" what do you mean? I maybe kinda understand it, but how does it operate in the military?

2. What kind of things don't you see eye-to-eye on with your boss? I just can't picture it.

 

[nash031]

It kind of turns into kind of tit for tat. You're gone, the spouse feels lonely. You have to relocate a lot and pretty soon she gets to decide where you live forever and how many kids you have, because sometimes she feels as though she hasn't had much of a voice in things. And it's true, she hasn't. But it hasn't been a bed of roses for you either. Getting out of the service is almost like starting over again from scratch.

In fact your DW might be saying you don't have to decide now because she likes the way things are and hopes they will stay that way for the foreseeable future

Thanks for the feedback. I know she has a tough time, as many spouses do, on deployments. My upcoming one will be the third she's endured since we met, and our second as a married couple.

Regarding stability, we've had it really good: I've managed to stay in one place for our entire marriage (2011), and all but about 18 months since I met her in 2008. While dating, we did about a year of long-distance, and then I had about six months of schooling away from home. Other than relocating to our house just before our wedding, she hasn't moved from the area since she got here in 2005. Stability-wise, she's had it really good!

I think there's a lot of validity in your point, however, about liking the way things are and wanting to keep it that way. Unfortunately, right now, I don't feel that way. As I mentioned, it may be a case of wanting to throw the baby out with the bath water because of my disenchantment with my work, upcoming deployment, etc.

I have a few (two, to be more exact) questions that I'm asking out of complete ignorance.

1. When you talk of "push-back" what do you mean? I maybe kinda understand it, but how does it operate in the military?

The military has the option of denying your retirement or resignation. It's usually just a process denial - in other words, you don't meet all the nitnoid requirements - but occasionally they decline retirements for folks in specialties they need. It's usually not an out-and-out denial, they try to talk you into staying for one reason or another. My rank and subspecialty make me a little bit more rare than your average 20-year officer, so I'm expecting a lot of phone calls when my paper crosses various desks here in about 17 months.

2. What kind of things don't you see eye-to-eye on with your boss? I just can't picture it

We're about as philosophically different as two people can be. We try to leverage that and make it a strength, but being second in command, it's a big-time stressor. It's been hard for me at this stage in my career (we're the same rank, promoted on the same day) and having had command once already, to stay in line and go along with certain things that I don't agree with or think are the wrong path. I say my piece, and we move on, but there's a lot of conflict between us on a near daily basis, most healthy conflict, some not.

 

[dvalley]

Good to see an update here. First off, thanks for your service and have a safe deployment.

I agree while you need to put the bug in your spouse's ear to let it slowly sink in (as she considers the pros and cons) you don't have to make the decision now. For me, I'd definitely be moving to a LCOLA, somewhere where life isn't so hectic, less road rage, people stepping on your toes at the grocery stores, some acreage and elbow room, however, that doesn't necessarily mean out of state, although, those will all be considerations. You have the little one now (congratulations!) so you'll have to weigh in the proximity to the family members, schools etc too. I've found in my personal life that most female spouses aren't up to relocating right away...again practical vs. emotional and security thinking at play perhaps. Again, you have time but it's good to start the gentle conversations around it. Good luck and keep us posted.

 

[ivinsfan]

My army life was way back and we were lucky to hit the 3 year mark without having to relocate.After ten years, your spouse is content where she is. Hope you can work it out together. My Dad ,after 21 years in the Army arbitrary picked the relo spot and the marriage dissolved after 30 years together.

 

[someguy]

Thanks for the update. I like seeing where you are because we have very similar ages and timelines. And, apparently, the sometimes difficulties of a SO who makes substantially less at an "easy" job. My income risk has always been somewhat higher than hers -- I joke that she's the bonds and I'm the stocks. And, funny enough, we love the area you live in and would ultimately like to buy a place.

The "bare bones" option is stay put in our LCOL area near family. Middle option is probably sell here and move to SoCal. "Fat" option is buy a place there, keep here, and split time as our whim dictates. The timing is an open question. If I knew my income would keep up, it'd probably be a no-brainer to do the fat option soon. But if I ended up having to go back into the corporate world I left long ago, no way!

I did a pretty detailed analysis and, for our expected FIRE situation and housing needs, San Diego is comparable to our LCOL area. This shocked me. Obviously home prices are higher. This is partially offset by much better weather and not needing nearly as much inside space. Utilities are a lot lower. Property tax rates are half my LCOL area and held way down over time by Prop 13.

Fortunately for me/us, her income has really shot up and is now enough to cover our expenses in the LCOL and probably the middle option as well. So if my income dries up before I make enough to immediately do the fat option, we could glide and let the pot grow until it does cover the fat option. We obviously don't have the issue of sitting on a hugely-appreciated SoCal home whose equity equals several years or more of extra work.

 

[cathy63]

...I did a pretty detailed analysis and, for our expected FIRE situation and housing needs, San Diego is comparable to our LCOL area. This shocked me. Obviously home prices are higher. This is partially offset by much better weather and not needing nearly as much inside space. Utilities are a lot lower. Property tax rates are half my LCOL area and held way down over time by Prop 13...

Shhhh! We try to keep that a secret.

 

[nash031]

I did a pretty detailed analysis and, for our expected FIRE situation and housing needs, San Diego is comparable to our LCOL area. This shocked me. Obviously home prices are higher. This is partially offset by much better weather and not needing nearly as much inside space. Utilities are a lot lower. Property tax rates are half my LCOL area and held way down over time by Prop 13.

I have a hard time with the property taxes here. We bought our home in 2011, and if we stay there for good, I can still move many other places with property tax rates 6% or more lower than what we have here right now, and the basis for those taxes would be about the same or markedly lower depending on where we move and what we buy. Even with prop 13 to our advantage, it'd take a couple decades of appreciation for those other areas to catch up... and that's in our very modest home right now, where I'm definitely not looking to stay long term and never have been.

When we look at different homes here that more meet what we'd like long term, even affording the house itself, you're still talking 5-figures of property tax every year for the rest of your life, not to mention some of them have HOAs that are half of my wife's former rent payment.

I've not reconciled those expenses where I'm basically lighting significant amounts of money on fire to get better weather for roughly four months out of the year than, say, Charleston, SC.

We'll see. No decisions need to be made today!

I wouldn't characterize her job as "easy" nor that she doesn't make pretty good money. She works hard, she brings home well above the median household income in the US on her own, but relative to me, she's making a little less than 50%. But she loves her job, and it keeps her happy when I'm gone, so I don't push against it. She could make more, but she's happy, and that matters.

 

[someguy]

Shhhh! We try to keep that a secret.

The key qualifier there was "expected FIRE situation". If you're making more than $150K or so in earned income, CA gets progressively more expensive and fast!

 

[AginMS]

Nash,


You've probably looked into this already, but I echo the advice that BLUEAFMOM gave last year about looking into the Post 9/11 GI Bill. It's another great benefit from the military and may completely cover tuition, room, and board for your DD (if you choose to pass the benefit on to her). I believe it is only good for 15 years after you leave A/D, so your DD may not be quite old enough to use it though. On the other hand, you might want to use it yourself to learn a new field/trade/hobby/etc...


Like you, I was in one of those specialty careers where there was a chance the Navy might hold up approval on my retirement. At one point there was a stop loss on my career field (1140) but this was lifted after several years and when it came time for me to put in my papers, there were no issues. I can't imagine they would hold you up if 1) we aren't at war and 2) there is no stop loss on your community.


I would recommend just calling your detailer and see what he or she says unless you just don't want to tip your hand yet. I was pretty open about my intentions with mine, and wound up staying in 3 more years because he hooked me up with sweet orders to the Naval War College in Newport.


-AginMS

 

[nash031]

Nash,
You've probably looked into this already, but I echo the advice that BLUEAFMOM gave last year about looking into the Post 9/11 GI Bill....


I would recommend just calling your detailer and see what he or she says unless you just don't want to tip your hand yet. I was pretty open about my intentions with mine, and wound up staying in 3 more years because he hooked me up with sweet orders to the Naval War College in Newport.

Thanks Ag, back before we were certain about having kids or not, we used my GI bill for my wife's MBA. Rumors about transferability going away were circling, and we weren't sure about babies, so we got the value out of it we thought we could. Not as much as undergrad for DD, but we still got benefit.

I'm keeping my hand close to the vest for now. I don't honestly believe there's much they'll be able to or want to do when the time comes to stop me (there's no stop loss). Given the politics involved, it's unlikely they will want to involuntarily keep someone on to go do the job they'd want me to do. I don't really want to give them that much heads up to figure out a way to make it happen. I think I'm just going to field a whole bunch of phone calls from folks I don't really want to have to talk to. But maybe they'll just let me sail quietly into the sunset......

 

[someguy]

I assume pay bands are set? In private sector, I'd say when the calls start tell them some ridiculous amount more than current and see what happens.

I'm keeping my hand close to the vest for now. I don't honestly believe there's much they'll be able to or want to do when the time comes to stop me (there's no stop loss). Given the politics involved, it's unlikely they will want to involuntarily keep someone on to go do the job they'd want me to do. I don't really want to give them that much heads up to figure out a way to make it happen. I think I'm just going to field a whole bunch of phone calls from folks I don't really want to have to talk to. But maybe they'll just let me sail quietly into the sunset......

 

[nash031]

I assume pay bands are set? In private sector, I'd say when the calls start tell them some ridiculous amount more than current and see what happens.

Yes. The only thing I could try to negotiate is a different set of follow-on orders in lieu of retirement, and I don't think there's anything they'd be willing to offer me that I'd be willing to accept. The job I'm lined up for at the time I intend to retire is pretty well fixed.