Happy 46yr father of three and is just delighted to be here.

[chad]

I'm Chad married to a wonderful lady for 21yrs now and just can't get
enough of her.

I was always a saver and would save ever penny I get,
and consider my financial situation to be ok till my father came to live with us....because of his ill health I exhausted most of the little savings that I had doing things like hernia repair and a 2016 accident that he was deem to be at fault. As thing are now I'm struggling to keep my head above water because of all the expense for my dad including his funeral last august.

thinking how am I going to fix my financial situation I have been looking for financially savvy people who understand money who I can benefit from. As it's now I have two houses, my first appraised at 110,000 minus 12,000 mortgage remaining, second house 175,000 minus 145,000 mortgage....current income 77,000 include spouses'....401k 114,000 include spouses'

Last year my father died leaving 6,000 and a house which is appraised at 155,000 this is now in a limbo due to the fact that he has 6 other children all grown and who all think I shouldn't be included in its liquidation due to the fact that I already bought two and even though one of my sisters is living in my first house rent free with her family.

How can I go about fixing my situation should I evict my sister and her family then sell my house or take them to court for a slice of our father's house since there was no will?

Thanks chad
Feb/8/2018

[DrRoy]

Sorry for your situation. I would think that all the siblings are due their share of your father's house. You especially if the others did not help you with his expenses. Before I read that your sister was living in one of the houses I was going to say that you should definitely sell a house, or at least get income from it. That would be fair, but would likely cause a rift with the family.

[Senator]

Quote:

Originally Posted by chad I was always a saver and would save ever penny I get, and consider my financial situation to be ok till my father came to live with us....because of his ill health I exhausted most of the little savings that I had doing things like hernia repair and a 2016 accident that he was deem to be at fault. As thing are now I'm struggling to keep my head above water because of all the expense for my dad including his funeral last august.

Other than the funeral, which should have come out of his estate and paid by all your siblings, why did you make his financial problems yours? That is a self-inflicted wound that will never be recovered.

The bills would have been logged against him, and when he died probably disappeared.

When my mother died, I sent a death certificate to the Mayo Clinic where she owed a bit of money and the bills went away. Very few businesses are going to go through the process to get a part of an estate for the average person.

Talk to a lawyer about the other houses. You need to go through probate anyway, unless the deed is already set up.

[tps7742]

As the Senator put it that is the cold hard truth of it. From the information you presented I would have assumed your Fathers assets could have been spent on his needs.

[EastWest Gal]

You have done well with your savings until all this happened.

I’m a bit confused. I see two separate issues. One is your dad’s estate, and the other is your sister, living free on your property. Am I missing something?

Regarding your dad’s estate:
1. I’m not sure why your dad’s house is in limbo. You can’t chop his house into 7 pieces. According to state law, his estate is to be divided equally between heirs-his children. Period. Google “dying intestate” and his state.
2. You can’t be cut out of a will, since there is no will. State laws dictates how the estate is divided, not the heirs.
3. Before the estate is disbursed, the funeral expenses need to be paid from the estate. You are also entitled to full reimbursement for funeral expenses.

Logically, the house should be sold. If there are contents that can be sold, have an estate sale. If there are contents that are sort of junky, hire a hauler. We found one that checked the contents of my dad’s house, mostly old furniture, who thought he could sell some of it at a profit, so he hauled everything away for free.
Sell the house, then that plus his bank account (which should now be in an estate account) can be divided equally, AFTER you have been reimbursed for your estate expenses, including funeral costs. There may be other expenses for which you can be reimbursed. Any bills incurred during his final illness should be paid out of the estate, not by you.

Who is administering the estate? It sounds like you are.
If there is a dispute, and paperwork isn’t being signed by siblings causing limbo, you may want to look into a court appointed estate administrator. Forcing the wayward siblings to resist a court rather than you may be the least expensive solution, since it is a simple estate. You and I know there is no means test for inheritance. Let the court tell your siblings that. Also be sure to not let the property taxes go in arrears in the meantime!

Regarding your sister:
She’s freeloading off of you. She is taking advantage of your generous heart. You can’t afford for this to continue. Your job is to support your family, not hers. If she wasn’t your sister, you would have never allowed her to essentially be a squatter in your house. You do her no favors by enabling her freeloading. That needs to end.

Your options:
1. Require her to pay rent, enough that the property generates some income over your expenses. Get a legally binding rental agreement. If anything happens to her or her kids on your property, you could be held liable. This could wipe you out financially. There are many resources for standard rental agreements.
2. Tell her you have to sell the house and ask her to move. If she refuses, tell her SHE will leave you no choice but to start eviction proceedings. Then do it. The burden is on her to do the right thing. You’ve already been overly generous.
3. If and when she does leave, sell or rent out the house so that it generates income. You didn’t buy two houses just to drain your finances. The point in investing in property is to get a return.


I’m a hard ass when it comes to finances and siblings. My husband has a brother who raided his mom’s bank account for drug money while she was dying of cancer. He could go homeless and die on the streets and we wouldn’t lift a finger. That was over 20 years ago and not much has changed. He’s 57 and his financial situation is still tenuous. Too bad.

Don’t give away your future financial stability to your siblings. It’s obvious they are not so generous with you. Invest your time and energy in raising good kids and keeping a good relationship with your wife. They are the ones who matter.

And welcome to the ER forum. This is a smart community and a well run forum.

[tps7742]

Very well said east west gal.

[Walt34]

+1 on what EastWest Gal said.

Chad, you are being taken advantage of. Now it is time to set an example for your kids and be a realistic, businesslike, hardass.

[Scratchy]

Chad Eastwest Gal is completely correct in all she stated. Do the right thing for yourself and for family now and follow what she has laid out. Any family who become estranged as a result you are better off without.

Especially with regard to your father's estate things should be handled properly from the get go or this will be much more complicated later. If there is anything valuable to you, record your own inventory of your father's property as soon as possible. It may be handy later on.

There are few things in life better than good family or worse than bad family. Good luck to you.

[hilltide]

One thing about this site, if you ask for advice you will get it. What they said. Sell the 2nd house and simplify your life.

[ndnguy822000]

Bless you for helping your father while the other siblings waited only to divide his estate. Get your bills together what YOU paid out of pocket without the help of your siblings and ask for that amount to be paid to you before it is divided amongst your siblings. Tell your sister to pay you rent otherwise get her out of there . The truth of the matter is the good hearted people get screwed the worst and it’s often by family. I’m sorry for your loss , focus on getting your financial situation in line and perhaps sell one of the houses to get you back on track.

[chad]

Thanks for all the responses....
just to make things clearer....our father can be a hardass at times,

it's always his way or the highway, so because of that he's always in some form of conflict with his children including me.

About 12 years ago he started to show interest in reconnecting with me after falling ill, I talked with my wife and he moved in.

In fairness to him he had started the process of transferring his house to me after telling the others that he wouldn't be leaving them nothing which put me in a very uncomfortable position so that's why I didn't thing twice in financing his operations only for to die before the transfer was final. The total spent on his operations and funeral is 56,000 but I'm just hoping that I'm able to recoup this so that I can move on from this with the family.

As it's right now I have little to no liquid assets which cause a pay check to pay check, so as much as I love my sister and little nephew I'm gonna have to ask her to leave so I can sell that property in order to raise the funds and stabilize my financial situation.

Thanks to all of you who did responded, I'll be leaning on you'll in the near future.