Hi - I'm 55 years old, could retire financially, just can't do it

[Mo Money]

I'm in that winding down process now and know exactly what you mean. I'm a physician in the same state as you. From the fear of loss of prestige to the transition from saving the paycheck to withdrawing from assets, from getting up at 5:00 and being worthless after 7PM it is all strange and very new.... There are days of boredom and restlessness....

Francis: EastWest Gal hits the nail on the head for me. I'm a professional from Pennsylvania who is about to give notice that I am retiring, and that I will consider a part-time gig so long as it's mutually at will. That part-time work could smooth the transition for both me and my firm. My partners will accept it, or I will walk after a reasonable notice. 19 work days till I enter the phase in which I will give my notice. Scary, scary.

But I think you need to get to the point where you just conclude that you have to push through the fear and get on with it. We both are facing the siren song of OMY. (In my case, for example, my net worth goes up by around a quarter mill a year on average for every year I stay chained to my desk.) But it's at the point where I (and apparently, you) have enough money, and are probably using OMY as a crutch to avoid taking a psychologically risky leap.

You are on a board with a bunch of smart and capable people, and they (especially those engineers! ) can really analyze every aspect of their finances and life to the Nth degree. But while I can't hold a candle to the engineers and their deep analysis, I know that I'm spending too much time analyzing all the angles, and I just need to flick the switch and get on with it. It will pan out for me and I will forge a new way of living. It will pan out for you, too. Don't die at your desk, Francis.

 

[Francis]

I struggled with "One more year" syndrome for 2 years after vesting of the minimum years for a 50 % retiree medical insurance subsidy. Those 2 years were terribly corrosive on my mental well being , and that was time I could have spent helping my father in his last years of life.

Instead , I squandered the precious, non-replaceable time staying at a job I no longer found tolerable, just for a little extra money.

Thanks an interesting perspective, thanks. I agree how a job can affect your mental being. I feel my job changes my personality in a way that blocks my happiness. Constantly. When I'm off a few days it's almost i have to detoxify from the job - day 1 I still think about work but after a few days off I see a definate improvement in my personality/outlook.

Francis

 

[Francis]

I feel for you then if you're working like the pharmacists I see at the local CVS store. Those people are being worked to death, always on the phone and doing what seems to be two things at once. I can see that they will be burned out very quickly.

Thanks for asking about my job. I was going to post more details but wasn't sure if others were interested in the specifics. No names or emplorers of course.

I work in hospital pharmacy. It was a decent, even great job for years. A while ago a for profit hospital chain bought the hospital and things slowly but consistantly changed for years till it's at an intolerable level. The final blow, within the last year, was to make our schedule so outlandish in the hope that people quit. We have hired new pharmacists specifically to work odd hours - evenings and all nights. That was fine. Now, they are releasing all these new hires from their shifts and making us long term employees work the bad hours. Oh, let me add that they can hire the new pharmacists for about 25K less than the long term workers. So, it's like they want us out. Maybe that's why I can't make the break - because I don't want them to force me out.

 

[travelover]

Change is hard.

Inmate Won't Leave Jail: Martin Batieni Kombate Arrested For Refusing To Leave Lockup

 

[Francis]

I'm in that winding down process now and know exactly what you mean. I'm a physician in the same state as you. From the fear of loss of prestige to the transition from saving the paycheck to withdrawing from assets, from getting up at 5:00 and being worthless after 7PM it is all strange and very new. I now have 1-2 weeks off and 1-2 weeks of work at a time. There are days of boredom and restlessness, but I feel so much better physically and so much more alive in the relationships that really matter.

You might want to check those FAQs and some books about early retirement. I found that hanging out here made me realize that overall, retirement with adequate finances can be absolutely amazing. Within a week of joining this group, I made up my mind to pull the plug this year but my exit was slowed by being offered more money for less work.

The books and the FAQs made me more prepared. I hope they help you too. Life is too short to stay at a job you hate. Time does not equal money. Time > money.


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Thanks a lot. You make a lot of sense. I definetly relate to how a bad job can wear you down physically. I will check out the books you recommended. Best of luck with the issues you are dealing with too.

 

[Francis]

From your post , I see you are a pharmacist. That is where the rub comes in. You entered the field in a different era, an honorable profession, which it still is, to help people, not just make a living.

You are stuck with a mindset of Duty to help the patient. Years ago, the employer also had a mindset of duty to loyal hard working employees.The later is long gone.

The drive to reduce medical cost , and increase productivity has permanently overtaken service to the patient , and dignity for the professional. 0% chance of the old ways coming back You will need to embrace that.

You are 100% correct. The profession is nothing like it was. I'd also add for profit hospital chains to the list of what changed for the worst.

 

[Francis]

But if you stop, I would be willing to be that within one year you'll be wondering why you waited so long.

Sorry about the losses you suffered. It's odd you mentioned if I do retire i may wonder why I waited so long. Because this is a recurring theme in my life - I wait too long. I held onto a car for far too long, finally bought a new one. and that was my thought - why did I wait so long. There are other examples. I thought it was delaying gratification whick is good for savings. But I guess I did it to excess.

 

[Francis]

Another factor is that it seemed that every time I opened the newspaper there were obituaries of people about my age or younger who have died and I had a great uncle who scrimped, saved and sacrificed for his retirement and then dropped dead of a heart attack 6 months after he retired. I didn't want to end up like him.

This isn't the reason I want to leave work but I noticed the same thing. Worked with a guy who retired early and shotly thereafter dies while going to the sink for a drink of water. Heart attack. My uncle died at 69 years old. He lived alone and they found him on the kitchen floor. On the counter was bread, cold cuts, mayonaise. He was making a sandwitch when the end came. I guess we can think we have more time - but who really knows?

 

[Francis]

Hi Francis and welcome. My grandfather was a Pharmacist who owned his own store. He later sold it but continued to work there. That didn't work out too well and they let him go. He was devastated but then spent the next ten years working part-time. He chose his jobs and named his hours. He said getting let go was the best thing that ever could have happened.

Thanks for your perspective. Pharmacy has changed a lot. About 10 years ago I worked with an oldtimer who owned his own pharmacy. He said he could earn a decent living filling 50 prescriptions a day. Today many pharmacists I know who work for chains fill 600+ prescriptions per day.

 

[Francis]

But I think you need to get to the point where you just conclude that you have to push through the fear and get on with it. We both are facing the siren song of OMY. (In my case, for example, my net worth goes up by around a quarter mill a year on average for every year I stay chained to my desk.) But it's at the point where I (and apparently, you) have enough money, and are probably using OMY as a crutch to avoid taking a psychologically risky leap.

I think you are right. My friends periodontist retired suddenly in his early 50's. He was surely making a decent buck. His reason was he vauled his time > more money. I don't know if you are familiar with Jack Bogle, the founder of Vanguard Funds. He always says to know when you have "enough" savings because more is just adding to a pile of money that you'll never need.

 

[athena53]

Francis, only you can decide what your dreams are and what you'd like to do if you didn't have to work for a living, but I can assure you there's more to life than a job and a good salary. I quit this year at age 61- had planned to work to 65 and when the politics got toxic I quit. My last day was one week after I gave notice.


I've always been high-energy and a bit ADD, and a lot of people wondered how I'd handle retirement. I've slowed down a bit but I'm doing more volunteer work, taking a course at the local community college just for the fun of learning, and I'm at the Fitness Center every day. The house and the yard are a bit tidier than they used to be. I've had to get over the shock of taking money OUT of the retirement savings but that would happen no matter when I retired.


Don't postpone it. Life is too short to spend in a soul-sucking job when you don't have to be there.

 

[Bestwifeever]

Welcome, Francis. Agree with the above who suggested part time or consulting to transition to retirement. You will be fine. Do you know the term "paralysis by analysis"?

We had four pharmacies in our town when we moved here in 1978. Now we have one: Walgreens. Lots of hourly techs, one overworked pharmacist per shift. Just one of many jobs that has changed substantially over our lifetime.

 

[eytonxav]

For some of us the mental part of retiring is harder than the financial side. You could certainly give retirement a try and then go back to work and or volunteer if you can't keep yourself satisfied with the freedom.

 

[Dog]

Francis, I understand your hesitation. I was on OMY mode and finally decided on a date to retire In 2015. In 2013 I began to prepare by joining several organizations for my outdoor interests/hobbies as I was concerned about how I would adjust from a structured life of working. I noticed more people my age getting diseases or dying, I found that I was resenting work because it was keeping me from my new hobbies and my mother's health was in serious decline. However, I was hesitant to give up the good paycheck. Negative changes at work started effecting my attitude and performance - I was becoming a negative employee (not acceptable for me). My mom's poor health was the final trigger and I retired at 56 on 8/1 this year. My mom passed away on 8/28. I was able to spend those last days with her without worrying about work - such a blessing. I am the executor for her estate and have been able to focus on that and enjoying some of my hobbies without guilt. It was a good decision for me and so far no regrets. DH will join me May 2016!
Good luck with your decision.


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[Walt34]

So, it's like they want us out. Maybe that's why I can't make the break - because I don't want them to force me out.

There is in fact life after retirement. When I retired, like many, it was leaving a position that if I didn't get back into quickly (computer forensics) that I'd never get back into because the field changes so rapidly.

Six months later my sister said of me and DW "I haven't seen you two looking so relaxed in years". It was then that we lost any reservations that we may have had about retiring and moving to WV from the Washington, DC area. Had we stayed we'd have had a pile more money. But we'd also be miserable.

So I suggest that letting them force you out might be a good thing:

Br'er Rabbit: The Tar Trap [Part 2] - Song of the South clip - YouTube

 

[mointx]

Francis, can you semi-retire, perhaps? Maybe just work prn? I am a pharmacist, too, but about 12 years younger. This is something I am already contemplating, hopefully in the next few years. Pharmacy has definitely changed in the past 20 years since I started.


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[EastWest Gal]

Thanks for your perspective. Pharmacy has changed a lot. About 10 years ago I worked with an oldtimer who owned his own pharmacy. He said he could earn a decent living filling 50 prescriptions a day. Today many pharmacists I know who work for chains fill 600+ prescriptions per day.

Just like us in medicine, the bean counters that now run the show want us to do more and more with less and less. I just did a continuing education course on patient safety about the pitfalls of distractions, as they can cause errors. I'm sure the same thing applies to you. It's scary to think our patients count on us to make no errors but we no longer have time to double check our work to prevent errors.

 

[longranger]

EastWest Gal as you doubtlessly know what you describe is typical in the medical industry with emphasis on the word industry. As an MD in a medium size my particular multi hospital megacorp the latest invented wrinkle that galls me is an invented concept of "perfect care". LOL. We actually have a perfect care committee, arbitrary parameters to establish scores to identify outliers etc... Of course a majority of the input is from bean counters and consultants hired by the bean counters. It is truly amusing in a way because both for financial and quality parameters we have huge talent in the system that would give much better input than the consultants, actually care and take personal responsibility for outcomes.

Francis I am in a similar situation to you. I could FIRE at any time, not at the WR you can but with enough cushion that money is no longer the primary issue. The only thing that keeps me in the game is a series of projects I am involved in that just may improve the work environment for my younger colleagues and improve patient care. Hate to admit it but would also be good for the megacorp bottom line.

If you have the opportunity to keep working in a position that empowers you to improve the working environment for you, your patients and you colleagues I can understand sticking it out for a while. Otherwise whats the point? If your job is a hopeless, heartless deadend as described in your earlier posts it is inconceivable that you could not find more happiness in a secure retirement doing whatever you discover makes you happy.

 

[Francis]

Francis, can you semi-retire, perhaps? Maybe just work prn? I am a pharmacist, too, but about 12 years younger. This is something I am already contemplating, hopefully in the next few years. Pharmacy has definitely changed in the past 20 years since I started.


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Good Thought. Present employer may or may not allow this. Technically we are allowed to drop as low as 32 hours/week and still are considered full time (for benefits) But I've known pharmacists who tried to reduce their hours and management said, "sorry but there are no pharmacist positions posted for 32 hours/week".

 

[Francis]

Francis I am in a similar situation to you. I could FIRE at any time, not at the WR you can but with enough cushion that money is no longer the primary issue. The only thing that keeps me in the game is a series of projects I am involved in that just may improve the work environment for my younger colleagues and improve patient care. Hate to admit it but would also be good for the megacorp bottom line.

Yeah, there's no projects I can be involved with to improve working conditions. Nor will there ever be. All projects involve improving profits. I may have a lower WR than you but mainly that's because I have low expenses. Could easily live on 25-30K/year.

 

[jim584672]

Francis,

I have been emancipated from Megacorp for about a month.

As far as boredom goes, this is an issue that anyone who stops working will have to address. Delaying retirement just kicks the can down the road.

But...
My worst day after retirement is still better than my best day at work.

 

[RAE]

I work in hospital pharmacy. It was a decent, even great job for years. A while ago a for profit hospital chain bought the hospital and things slowly but consistantly changed for years till it's at an intolerable level. The final blow, within the last year, was to make our schedule so outlandish in the hope that people quit. We have hired new pharmacists specifically to work odd hours - evenings and all nights. That was fine. Now, they are releasing all these new hires from their shifts and making us long term employees work the bad hours. Oh, let me add that they can hire the new pharmacists for about 25K less than the long term workers. So, it's like they want us out. Maybe that's why I can't make the break - because I don't want them to force me out.

I worked in a completely different field than you do, but I can relate to this, at least to some extent. I was being gradually pushed out of my job the last couple years I worked also (we had a change of management, whose top priority was to reorganize our agency, which involved cutting quite a few positions). My position was targeted for elimination, which at first made me angry. My initial reaction was similar to yours - wanting to hang in there, so as not to give them the satisfaction of forcing me out, or forcing me to change jobs. But then it dawned on me that that attitude was not constructive. I had planned to retire very soon anyway (even before the change of management), so trying to hang in there longer, when things were deteriorating rapidly, made no sense in my case. I retired as soon as I could after that, and have absolutely no regrets (after nearly 5 years now). I regularly talk to several former co-workers who are still working there, and they are all very unhappy with the new management. So, that just reinforces my decision to depart when I did.

 

[pbcoastal]

Francis - I retired two months before my 60th birthday in 2010 and haven't looked back. If I stayed at the job any longer I might have ended up with a nervous breakdown. Over the last four years volunteering has been fruitful and exciting.

You might want to check out this very interesting program offered by the Osher Institute at the University of North Carolina at Asheville called "Paths to a Creative Retirement." Here's the link - http://olliasheville.com/paths-creative-retirement
Topics are as follows:

When should I retire?
How will I spend my time after I stop or reduce my work?
How will I find purpose and meaning after I retire?
How will my identity change in retirement?
How will retirement affect my relationships with family and friends?
How do I investigate work and volunteer opportunities?

Another great resource is a recent book by Chris Farrell entitled: "Unretirement: How Baby Boomers are Changing the Way We Think About Work, Community, and the Good Life."

There are tons of resources available to assist you in your decision-making process. Good Luck!



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[Francis]

I worked in a completely different field than you do, but I can relate to this, at least to some extent. I was being gradually pushed out of my job the last couple years I worked also (we had a change of management, whose top priority was to reorganize our agency, which involved cutting quite a few positions). My position was targeted for elimination, which at first made me angry. My initial reaction was similar to yours - wanting to hang in there, so as not to give them the satisfaction of forcing me out, or forcing me to change jobs. But then it dawned on me that that attitude was not constructive. I had planned to retire very soon anyway (even before the change of management), so trying to hang in there longer, when things were deteriorating rapidly, made no sense in my case. I retired as soon as I could after that, and have absolutely no regrets (after nearly 5 years now). I regularly talk to several former co-workers who are still working there, and they are all very unhappy with the new management. So, that just reinforces my decision to depart when I did.

Thanks for sharing your experiences. There are similarities between our situations. You know, I think when all is said and done, I'd be much better and much happier away from my workplace. I think of all the people who left recently and none are trying to get back. I worked for the same place for my whole career of 30 years. I've been thinking a lot about this and I'm toying with packing it in for good in early July 2015.

 

[EastWest Gal]

It sounds like you're on solid ground and will be good to go. Why not RE? You have some great retirement hobbies listed on your profile. I look forward to more of your posts.