How do you change your mindset?

[Walt34]

Welcome to the world of retirement!

It is perfectly normal to have second thoughts about retiring. For most it is an irreversible decision and for many it was involuntary. On the "stress-o-meter" it is right up there with losing a spouse, getting married, or moving. It is a huge life change and lifestyle change. There is even a phrase for staying on the job out of concern about those changes called "one more year syndrome" or OMY.

As the others have mentioned it takes time to adjust, and if you want you may even (gasp!) get another job for a while. But your attitude will be markedly different, for now you have earned your KMA hat*, also referred to as a DPMO hat** and if you don't like how things are going you now have the freedom to say those two sweet little words, "I quit".

And that freedom is the important part, because now all that work stuff that used to be stressful isn't anymore, because now you don't have to put up with it and you know it, and that makes a world of difference.

* Kiss my a$$

** Don't piss me off

[Souschef]

Quote:

Originally Posted by NW-Bound It has been fairly easy for people who started their retirement from 2009 till now. They just took to it like fish to water. Why, the market keeps giving more money than they can spend.

+100! I retired in 2009, and my taxable income is double what I had when I was w*rking

[mystang52]

Here's one practical suggestion to consider: for the first 6 months to maybe a full year, remain careful with your spending. Enjoy your new retirement, but find ways to do so that don't cost a lot of money. This may ease you into a retirement mode, and reassure you that your finances are indeed well. After this initial period, you can reassess and see how to increase spending within your comfort zone to enjoy retirement even more.

[nvestysly]

Hello KateIsWell,

My wife and I ER'd over 8 years ago. We were both very ready and haven't looked back. Very seldom do I get an urge to want to w*rk, it only lasts a few minutes - something makes me sentimental for the old days, then I regain my senses and realize how much I disliked about w*rking!

Hopefully you'll find yourself in a better place by leaving w*rk behind. It sounds like you definitely need to find one or more means of fulfilling ways to spend your time. For DW and myself our fulfillment comes through volunteering. It's not for everyone but there are seemingly countless organizations that need your help.

There are several books (an understatement) on the topic of retirement and how to spend your time. Two that helped me were: Portfolio Life by David Corbett and You Can Retire Sooner Than You Think by Wes Moss

Regarding the transition from regular paychecks to no paychecks. Once you've decided on a withdrawal plan, consider putting that money into an account that you don't even look at (at least not much). From that account, pay yourself twice a month into your day-to-day checking account. Presto! You still get a paycheck! We pay ourselves twice a month and we also take some of that money and put it into "savings" for house repairs, car repairs, etc. By doing this the transition from regular paycheck to retirement paycheck was almost seamless.

DW and I made the transition to retirement in a heartbeat. We went from working full-time to volunteering, traveling (in conjunction with volunteering), spending time together, spending time with friends and family, etc. DW says I changed over like turning a light switch from on to off.

There are lots of things to think about in retirement. I say our job is not to have a job. That is, we have to manage our financial resources so we never have to w*rk again.

Another bit of advice from a friend of ours who retired two years before us... Be sure to have one thing to do every day. For me that one thing is usually a series of things related to something much bigger. For example, planning a car repair is something I do because I like it. Researching the repair, checking on availability of parts, finding a friend to help if needed. All these things add up to useful time spent doing something I enjoy. It's part of my having one thing to do every day. A second example, lanning our RV trips, on which we volunteer with Habitat for Humanity - planning, organizing, routing, making reservations, etc. All part of having one thing to do every day.

[NW-Bound]

Quote:

Originally Posted by KateIswell No, my husband retired three years ago. I have been working and covering health insurance. But I do think we will be ok one day at a time.

Well, you are already segueing into retirement, so you already have one foot in the door.

I started to work part-time first, and with an erratic income. Then, my wife quit. Then, I stayed home too.

So, I know it is scary for people who quit cold-turkey with no pension or SS.

[harley]

Quote:

Originally Posted by NW-Bound It has been fairly easy for people who started their retirement from 2009 till now. They just took to it like fish to water. Why, the market keeps giving more money than they can spend.

Well, I retired at 50 in 2006, and having everything go to hell a couple of years later was pretty frightening. I had run FIRECalc and other calculators, and everything said we were good to go. And I never regretted leaving work behind, but we built a big new house in 2008 just before the bottom dropped out. DW an I had some unpleasant confrontations about spending to outfit the home. Even though I "knew" we could survive the Great Depression, it was scary. But we got through that and have had an incredible time ever since. My brother died at 42, my mother was 33, and while my father lived to the incredible old age of 71 I had a major fear of dying in my office. Getting out early was the best thing I ever did, even with the rough start. The last 13+ years have been the best of my life. No matter what happens, I doubt you'll regret getting out earlier rather than later.

[COcheesehead]

Some question life after death. Some question life before death.
The OP’s question is a great example of what a lot of us say time and time again. You need to retire TO something, not just from something. If you are not so freaking excited to get on with the rest of your life, maybe there is a reason for that.

[Jerry1]

I really had no issues with retirement. I made a plan and it included a good amount of cushion. If I went into retirement on the edge, I'd make sure I watched my spending like a hawk. Seeing a year or two go as planned will help you get comfortable with the new financial reality.

My biggest transition issues are that I really haven't found what I'm retired too. However, I'm okay with just being so that one's not too bad. The other transition I'm struggling with is the desire to improve my health. With the extra time, it's easier to eat more (though I do pretty good diet wise) and I'm really struggling to get to a workout on a regular committed basis.

I guess the point is that we all have some transition issues we are working through, but I'm completely satisfied with my decision. It boiled down to time>money and the realization that no day is guaranteed. I'd rather live like this than how I was when working.

[24601NoMore]

Quote:

Originally Posted by NW-Bound It has been fairly easy for people who started their retirement from 2009 till now. They just took to it like fish to water. Why, the market keeps giving more money than they can spend.

Easy until now..but the real question will be how all of us in ER will do once the market goes kablooey - which is increasingly probable in 2020 with current sky high equity valuations (eg: CAPE 10) and very expensive bonds/low yields. That's my #1 concern..I'm not comfortable with another 50+% drop on the equity part of my portfolio like we had in 2008 now that the W-2s have stopped coming in. Others may be OK weathering the storm..but 2020 is making me increasingly nervous, and for those who have been fine to this point it will be interesting to see how we all handle the next downturn psychologically, when the paychecks are no longer coming in..unfortunately, with CD rates having been crushed over the past year and bond funds having little room to run with unusually low yields, there's few alternatives to equity risk..

[ShokWaveRider]

KateIswell:

You did not mention your or your husbands age, or I missed it. Regardless, Congratulations! I think it is natural to have a little trepidation, however, you seem to have done the numbers, all is good. Re-evaluate as time goes on, and above all enjoy your newly acquired freedom with your hubby.

[davebarnes]

Quote:

Originally Posted by KateIswell firecalc and my financial planner says we are okay

Focus on these words.
If you decide to go back to work, then take a job for aspects other than money.
My wife (age 62) works part time in a retail store and grosses $28K/yr. She works to get out of the house and to enjoy conversing with other adults. But, she knows she can quit anytime if her BS meter gets pegged.

[pacergal]

Welcome! You will begin to appreciate your retirement tomorrow as you realize everyone is off to work and you can enjoy your coffee in your pjs!
And tonight that tic tic tic of 60 minutes clock will not bother you--lol.

If firecalc and financial planner gives you the success number you want, then you are good to go.
A part time job somewhere of interest is always available if you desire, but you probably won't after you live in retirement for a few months and it becomes your new normal.

[Navigator]

It took me about six months to get comfortable with being retired. What finally did it was I got a call from a headhunter asking me to apply for a lucrative position, and I realized there was no way I would want to do that again. There are two things that make me comfortable with being retired: 1) knowing how much I can cut spending if I needed to; and 2) doing the things in life that are important to me that I couldn’t do if I was working full time.

I wish you the best of luck with your retirement.

[ER2B]

Been retired for 2 years now. Today, I got a text from a cousin. This is why my RE mindset is what it is. See below:

From K, daughter of M : Hi guys, my Mom, was diagnosed with ovarian cancer stage 4 last year. Right now, she’s in a very critical condition since the cancer has metastasized to her brain and other organs, and her small intestine’s continuously bleeding. She’s gone through several blood transfusions to compensate for the blood loss, but she still needs more.

Though the hospital has available stocks of blood, Mom’s blood type is pretty rare (AB+) so they have run out of this na. If you know anyone who has a blood type of AB+ and is willing to donate, he/she can proceed to C hospital and say that he/she’s donating blood for M. They would already know what to do.

Thank you!


(hospital said this exact blood type’s needed to prevent any undesired reaction during the blood transfusion)

[scrabbler1]

Quote:

Originally Posted by KateIswell For those of you who have retired, did anyone have these sorts of thoughts? How did you process the switch from earning and saving to spending? How long did it take for you to be okay with not having a regular paycheck?

I can't say I had any of those thoughts. My ER was planned out well after considerable research. I wasn't a member of this website until a year after I ERed, but I did run the numbers through Fidelity's RIP program (I am a Fido client) and my Account Executive told me I was clear to go!

I had been working part-time for 7 years before I fully ERed, so the transition to not working at all wasn't a big one because most of the overall changes to my everyday life took place when I first switched from working FT to PT 7 years earlier. Working part-time, even 2 days a week, was more and more often interfering with the considerable personal life I had regained in those 7 years, so getting rid of the relatively infrequent working days was my best solution.

I had arranged to have a large monthly dividend from a new bond fund I'd be investing a large lump sum of money (see my signature line) to act as my replacement "paycheck" instead of the 2 biweekly paychecks I had been receiving. I had to adjust my budget spreadsheet to allow for one cash inflow per month instead of 2. But I liked the new paycheck because I didn't have to go to work to earn it (again, see my signature line). It took me ZERO time to adjust to that!

[tmm99]

Quote:

Originally Posted by KateIswell I keep thinking...next week I would have earned X amount of money. .

It's been 5 years or so since my retirement and I've never ever looked at it like that. I did a lot of math in my head regarding the dollars I was bringing in when I was w*rking, but doing "what if's" like what you're doing after you've made the decision to retire is not a productive thing to do IMO.

Once I got into the retirement mode, I couldn't possibly consider going back to the stressful j*b I used to have for any amount of money. Heck, having to get up early every morning would be a no-go on its own.

[KateIswell]

Oh my Gosh. I’m so, so sorry. Thank you for sharing. Reality can be sobering.

[MRG]

Quote:

Originally Posted by tmm99 It's been 5 years or so since my retirement and I've never ever looked at it like that. I did a lot of math in my head regarding the dollars I was bringing in when I was w*rking, but doing "what if's" like what you're doing after you've made the decision to retire is not a productive thing to do IMO. Once I got into the retirement mode, I couldn't possibly consider going back to the stressful j*b I used to have for any amount of money. Heck, having to get up early every morning would be a no-go on its own.

+1
Been over 6 years and the concept of work seems foreign. Lemme see you're saying you want me to come in 5+ days every week and fight with others on the highway both directions so I can do as you want. If problems arise you expect me to work 24x7x365 to fix these problems for zero compensation. Of course you may choose to yell, scream, verbally abuse, under compensate, over promise, and generally make my life a miserable living he!!.

Where can I get a deal like that? [emoji848][emoji1787]

ETA: I'm reminded of an event from 40 years ago at a sawmill I worked at. We'd sometimes hire contract day laborers from a firm that took care of all their issues. These folks were mostly homeless, illiterate, alcoholics but they had to show up sober and have strong backs for a days wage. This day when they were going to the superintendent to get assigned one of them apparently was coming off a multi-day alcohol fueled bender. He asked one of the other men where they were and what they were doing? Guy says you're here to work! First guy stomped off yelling "Oh Hell No"!

[Delaney]

If you have been OMYing it for a few years, I feel confident you really are ready. I am 55 and I've been retired for 8 years. I still worry from time to time, but I know it's irrational. For me, early retirement just seems too good to be true, but the numbers work. My biggest fear before retirement was that I would die or get sick before I could enjoy any retirement. I did feel a sense of relief after I had one year of retirement. I thought I had a year, so no big regrets now if the worst happens.

[walkinwood]

If this is an issue (I only have your OP to go one)....you also need to change your mindset on "not being as well-off as". It isn't a competition. If you've done your analysis and have saved enough to live your life the way you like it, then it shouldn't ever matter if someone else is better off financially (or in some other way) than you are. I have to occasionally remind myself or DW about this.


If you do have to return to work, you only have to earn enough to fill the deficit between your desired lifestyle and the lifestyle your savings can support. So you can focus on a job that you will look forward to rather than try to recapture your current earnings. This point - this very point - made it easier for us to contemplate ER 11 years ago. We did return to work for about 10 months just 2 years after our initial ER because the '08-'09 crash depleted our assets sufficiently to cause us worrry.