How do you change your mindset?

[kgtest]

All I can say as a person still w*rking is, if I’m gutting out my job every day, then I’m gutting out my life every day, and that seems no sane way to live. Sounds like parts of you know you did the right thing for you. Congrats!

Not quite at that level yet... still have 11 more years to go myself though so it will come. But...I do feel like work really gets in the way of the things I really want to do, ski, beach, bike, lift, travel, fix up the house. Sure I can do these things now, but not as much as I would like.

By 50 I will be ready to take my time back after 35 years in the workforce. My ole man made it 50 years in the workforce that is too much for me.

 

[Blue531]

I'm processing the switch from earning and saving to spending by working part-time. I gave up my full-time job over a year and a half ago when I was 53 due to health reasons. I really wanted to retire full time but because of my age and the overwhelming mental adjustment the change requires, I compromised. It has worked out so far even though I only make a third of what I did before, it is enough to pay monthly expenses. If any unexpected costs arise, I pay it out of savings. Working just enough keeps me from dipping into savings too much and yet gives me lots more free time and way less stress at work. It's allowing me to decompress from the working world and I expect to fully retire by the end of this year or by the time I am 57 at latest. When I first had to accept that I needed to start the process of how I was going to transition, the whole things was overwhelming. But the writing was on the wall and the universe, I believe, was trying to tell me that a change was needed. I didn't have a chance to do the "one more year" thing because I was exhausted and had pushed my body too far. So, I've spent the last year adjusting to working less, making less, having more time, getting my expenses down to the lowest possible amount and mentally preparing for full self-relying retirement. In the meantime, I made a point to find another way to make additional income, if needed, from home with very little spare time knowing this would help psychologically. Don't feel bad if you do decide to work some part time even if it is for less. If it helps mentally and you still have lots of free time and enjoy it and it isn't stressful...hey whatever works. When I take that final step, I'll remind myself that one, I can always return to work if I have to....(not planning on letting that happen) and two, I'm not guaranteed to live to any particular age and by all accounts, I have MORE THAN ENOUGH so enough's enough. I'll remind myself that it took great resourcefulness to put me in this position and that is an amazing quality to possess. Sounds like you have that same quality too! Good luck to you! Worrying is what normal people do who care and are concerned about a particular outcome!

 

[Blue531]

I love that book, still have it and read thru it sometimes. My favorite part of Your Money or Your Life is the Crossover Point. It made the biggest impact on me when I first bought the book over 20 years ago. The Crossover Point being that point in time when your passive investment gains exceed your expenses. Then you know, for the most part, you can retire.

 

[notyep]

Happy

The easiest way to change your mindset is to understand that retirement is a state of "mind" (not finances). Once that sinks in, you can walk out of the door of that job that has many brainwashed/bound all of these years and begin to truly live. Absolutely nothing wrong with staying if the job makes you happy because that should be our ultimate goal. I decided to walk away from my government job, not that I hated it but felt as though my time spent there was enough and realized that the traditional 30 year federal retirement wasn't so great after the 15 year mark. In any case it clicked once I realized I didn't have the household burdens that most of my peers had (mortgage, kids in the nest, etc..) my job was done and I could move on with my life and start living 100% for me and God (not my employer). Life's been great!!! Though I still work, I don't feel like I do because now I do what I enjoy and know I could quit tomorrow if I wanted to (because of no burdens). Everytime I glance at the picture of me and my great-grandma standing in front of her home that I now work out of as my private office, she reminds me that I have it made. Watching the mockingbirds play every morning from my front-porch while eating breakfast each morning there reminds me that my definition of retirement is good and wouldn't trade it for the world. Happy !!

 

[RxMan]

KateIswell,

Good luck to you. I’m still working and I’m not quite able to give personal experience on how to handle making the decision to retire and proceeding to go through with it. But I’ve learned a lot on these forums from several people who have successfully done it.

I know I will struggle with the same fears and emotions when it gets to be my time. I think the following lessons I’ve learned from others will help me make the necessary adjustments to retired life. Hopefully these lessons will help you too.

1. Have a plan and trust in your plan. I have no doubt you’ve been planning this for a while. What I’ve come to realize by learning from the experience of others here is that a good plan is a must but you also have to trust that your plan will work.

2. At some point time becomes more valuable than the money you will inevitably leave on the table by retiring. Life is too short. Spend more of it doing what you want and not what some employer wants.

3. Retire to something and not just from something. Understand that you will have to find things to use up the time you will have once you stop working for good.

4. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing. Maybe cutting back on hours or find a different and less stressful part time job. There are options between working zero hours and full time employment.

5. Everyone is different and handles retirement in their own unique way. There’s no wrong way and we can’t tell you whatever you choose to do is not correct. You are the boss and the CEO of your life.

6. It’s not just about money. If the decision to retire was simply a math problem we all wouldn’t be here looking for advice and encouragement from others. There are lots of emotions involved in such a big change.

Good luck! You will have the time of your life and people like me who aren’t quite there yet will live vicariously through your wonderful experiences. I hope this helps and I hope I can find these words and take them to heart when I’m going through this process myself someday.

 

[target2019]

This is a good point. I’m thinking I need to divorce myself from the idea that my value is related to my earning ability. I have been using the “I can always go back to work” as a coping strategy but I’m so burned out that the thought of working in my chose field makes me almost physically sick. I guess I can always go back to work doing something else, since you’re right...I’m not saving for years of retirement, just putting a little more cushion into the equation.

Appreciate the input. Thank you.

I read your first post as well as replies.

Glad you came to this conclusion, that you can make another choice if the situation warrants. You're no longer constrained by that awful job, right? You may hear about another opportunity, or may not. But going forward you'll feel in control because you ARE in control.

 

[GoBugGo]

This is a good point. I’m thinking I need to divorce myself from the idea that my value is related to my earning ability...

Wow, this one hits home for me as well. Job=Money=Identity...a difficult cultural norm to break.

 

[GoBugGo]

1. Have a plan and trust in your plan. I have no doubt you’ve been planning this for a while. What I’ve come to realize by learning from the experience of others here is that a good plan is a must but you also have to trust that your plan will work.

2. At some point time becomes more valuable than the money you will inevitably leave on the table by retiring. Life is too short. Spend more of it doing what you want and not what some employer wants.

3. Retire to something and not just from something. Understand that you will have to find things to use up the time you will have once you stop working for good.

4. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing. Maybe cutting back on hours or find a different and less stressful part time job. There are options between working zero hours and full time employment.

5. Everyone is different and handles retirement in their own unique way. There’s no wrong way and we can’t tell you whatever you choose to do is not correct. You are the boss and the CEO of your life.

6. It’s not just about money. If the decision to retire was simply a math problem we all wouldn’t be here looking for advice and encouragement from others. There are lots of emotions involved in such a big change.

Great words of wisdom RxMan. I just printed your bullet points and now have them pinned to my cubicle wall at MegaCorp (next to all the maps I printed of the places I will visit in FIRE).