I am...struggling

[chasesfish]

Welcome to the forum!

I completely agree with your line of thought to leave and take care of your health. Does your pension allow for you to take a part time job in the future if you really need something to do? (Barnes and Noble?).

How much is in your 457 plan? You should consider waiting until you're 59.5 and them withdraw this in little bits until you can take Social Security

 

[LinCella]

Yes, I can work full time anywhere but only 960 hours a year in a PERS job. My 457 will have about $80k and I will not have a penalty for withdrawing. I can withdraw anytime after 50. I will be paying a 20% fed tax and 5% cal tax when I withdraw it. It is money I need to buy into the co-op. So you could say - this is my savings.

 

[chasesfish]

Co-op buy in? I'm not following


However, my advice remains about the same, that's a really nice pension income for the rest of your life, go take care of your health and enjoy it, then consider something part time later

 

[Snow White]

Linny, my condolences on the loss of your mother. Being an orphan is painful regardless of the age you are when it happens. I've worked much of my career as a registered nurse in hospice and there is truth to some of the messages telling you to take your time in deciding as you have had a major loss. But on the other hand, your attention is focused on the preciousness of each day and six months is a long time to be unhappy. One trick I've tried is to make a decision and then to carefully note what my gut "feels" like. Am I relieved, jubilant, sad, disappointed, scared? Your instinct may help point you in the right direction. Good luck!

 

[Helen]

Linny, I'm very sorry for your loss. Have you considered a grief support group?

Snow White, that was a really nice first post. I hope you stick around.

 

[jclarksnakes]

Yes, I can work full time anywhere but only 960 hours a year in a PERS job. My 457 will have about $80k and I will not have a penalty for withdrawing. I can withdraw anytime after 50. I will be paying a 20% fed tax and 5% cal tax when I withdraw it. It is money I need to buy into the co-op. So you could say - this is my savings.

If you take all of that 80K in one year on top of your nice pension you will be paying 25% or more in federal taxes on it. Is that 20% figure the amount that they will withhold from it? If so you may end up owing more taxes and possibly also penalties for not withhold enough. Taking money out of a 457 is just like taking money out of a 401 or traditional IRA. You need to look carefully at the tax consequences before you take anything out of them. I know nothing about California income taxes but withholding 5% would come up a little short here in Georgia.

 

[chris2008]

Sincere condolences. You might still be suffering some depression from your loss.
So a grief support group or other might help you to feel better.
If you are not a talker, there are some good books out there how to overcome such loss.

Even if the financial side of your ER might be ok - do you have something to retire to, rather than retire from?
How do you want to spend your time? What would be your next goal?
If you do not have answers yet, I would not take irreversible decisions yet but try to draft a map of your retirement and make some plans.
I would not want to be lonely, depressed and retired.

Also, I would first try to live on my estimated post retirement budget (or less) for several months as a kind of test drive.

 

[Walt34]

I'm sorry for your loss. Even when one knows it's coming that doesn't make it any easier.

I am in agreement with the others about not making any major life decisions after a major loss for at least six months or perhaps even a year.

 

[xyz]

I agree with all others here, give yourself some time before making the final retirement decision. On the other hand, I would make my health then number one priority in my life NOW ! Follow your doctor's requirements and take care of yourself, you don't need any money if you are not alive. You always have the "ace in the hole" where you can make the call on retirement if that is getting in the way of your new healthy lifestyle. So start making the lifestyle changes you need now. You can do it.

 

[Milton]

It's just that the more I think about it - I would much rather be doing something else - namely, taking care of my health. I have diabetes and I had a heart attack at 50.... So, while my mom's death has caused a bit of a fog, I am thinking also of the fact that having a heart attack on my 50th birthday was a wake-up call.

Fair enough; but I wonder if you really need to retire in order to be able to work on your health issues.

You say that you are a relatively low-paid librarian. In the absence of unusual circumstances, I assume (?) that you likely work no more than a 45-hour week. You have no childcare responsibilities, and now no longer have to serve as a caregiver for your mom.

Taking the above into account, you should currently have sufficient time for daily exercise, the preparation of healthy meals, and eight hours sleep each night. I doubt that the job is really preventing you from improving your health condition (while you may be psychologically fatigued, quitting work probably won't improve that issue significantly).

All of this is not to suggest that it is necessary or even desirable for you to defer early retirement if you wish: your other question ("Is $148 a month worth the remaining 6 months of boredom and bs?") remains. I am just saying that you are able to have your cake (job) and eat it (health) too, if you choose to keep working a bit longer so that you can pad your pension.

 

[redduck]

Are you eligible to apply for state disability?

 

[ERD50]

Sorry for your loss, I'll join the chorus saying take some time before making big changes. And I think the group counseling is probably a good idea, I hope you find it helpful.

I hesitate to ask, but - How safe is your pension?

I know she answered very safe, but I have to wonder about that...

I do get a pension and paid medical... The pension will be approx. $5675 a month before taxes if I leave at the end of 2013.

I didn't make a ton of money working as a librarian and my pension will keep a roof over my head so I am forever grateful that I found this job all those years ago. I know some people get miffed when I say I will have a pension and covered medical, ...

OK, what I'm about to say has nothing to do with being 'miffed', I'm just trying to give you some perspective, and wonder if that pension is really so safe. Can your municipality really afford this?


So that's a $68,100 pension that you can take @ 54 YO? For ref, my private pension (and this seems typical) is cut in half to take it at 55. So your number is equivalent to a $136,200 annual private pension. My pension also has no COLA - a full COLA about doubles the value of a pension, yours seems to be capped at 2%, so if we say 1.5x factor, that is equivalent to roughly a $200,000 private pension. And you mention that you didn't earn a high wage - I have to wonder how a municipality can afford this? Those kinds of pensions would be associated with very highly compensated employees in the private sector.

I did earn a pretty good wage (Engineering & Management), and my pension @ 65, with no COLA will be significantly less than what you get COLA-lite @ 54. Or about 20% of what you get if we use my adjustment factors. Even that understates it, as inflation is and has been eroding the value of that future amount, so closer to 15%. Again, I'm not complaining, just trying to give you some perspective on this.

Then throw in medical? I am in my megacorp retiree plan, but I pay over $10,000/year (for family). I don't have the single coverage numbers at hand, but I assume they are ~ 1/2 the family rate (not many dependents other than spouse on average among the 55-65 age group that qualify).

It's just tough to imagine that a municipality can fund these levels. And since you have no other appreciable savings, it is something I would not want to take for granted if I were you. I'd probably want to sock a considerable amount of it away, in case it gets cut in the future? At least I have the PBGC to fall back on if megacorp defaults, I'm not aware of any municipalities insuring their funds.

-ERD50

 

[Finder]

My condolences on your loss. I would say try first to take unpaid leave for a month or so (since vacation is not available) to help you get past this difficult time, clear your head, then re-evaluate these life-changing decisions.

 

[Bestwifeever]

Linny, my heart goes out to you. I think a six month holding period on major decision making is a good idea too. And there is no point in just worrying about the pension's solvency because you have no control over it (but glad that the plan is apparently healthy and you've obviously met the length of service etc requirements) and you need to focus on remembering your mother and taking extra good care of yourself.

 

[Alan]

Linny, my heart goes out to you. I think a six month holding period on major decision making is a good idea too. And there is no point in just worrying about the pension's solvency because you have no control over it (but glad that the plan is apparently healthy and you've obviously met the length of service etc requirements) and you need to focus on remembering your mother and taking extra good care of yourself.

+1

I'm retired and rely heavily on my pensions. I could have worked longer to save more as a backup to pension loss, but worrying about things like this is just not worth it.

 

[Brat]

My heart goes out to you as well.

Although you have used up all your leave would an unpaid leave of absence be possible? You do need grief counseling, and a leave of absence would be akin to a trial retirement. My concern is that work is both a social and economic activity. Unless you have a large circle of friends or social activities I fear that you will just retreat into a shell.

Have a long talk with your HR department, find out what your options are. Often there are Employee Assistance programs which can be very helpful as well.

Please keep in touch.

 

[JoshTrent]

Have a long talk with your HR department, find out what your options are. Often there are Employee Assistance programs which can be very helpful as well.

+1

EAP is a great way to get started with some counseling. Not sure about CA, but in CO we have 6 weeks FMLA leave.. (I thought it was a federal thing) I would chat with HR to see what the options are.

 

[Walt34]

Can your municipality really afford this?

Much of that is dependent on the municipality. Contrary to news reports not all are hanging on the ropes with millions/billions in unfunded liabilities. Some are doing quite well, thank you very much.

I retired from a county government job and that county still has no unfunded pension liabilities. They have a better bond rating than the U.S. government. So at least in my case, they can afford it.

And here in West Virginia, the state government saw the problem, addressed it, and is well on course to eliminate unfunded pension liabilities within a few years.

But none of that makes for a very good news story. A headline that says "Local government pays bills on time" just doesn't have the appeal of a bankrupt one.

 

[DeborahB]

Hi - I know how devastating that loss can be. I lost my mom when I was 59. It was a brief illness, but somehow going from healthy to dead in a week was unbelievably heartbreaking. Good for her, terrible for me. I still miss her a lot, 5 years later.

I'm torn on what advice to give you. Everything has been said already, and all of it is valid. But the thing that kicked me over into quitting my job at 62 was having a close friend die (at 67). I decided the stress of my job was just not worth it. I have had health issues and I'm happy with my decision.

I hate to guess what you need to live on but $68K a year (and COLA) seems like a lot to me, since you have no children or spouse. Have you tried just sitting down and figuring out what you spend money on, and how much it adds up to? I don't mean for housing, but just general stuff you buy like food and so on. Then move on to housing, car loan, whatever it is. Getting rid of debt is usually a good thing - but if you can buy into your condo by getting a loan at 3 or 4% might be a better way than taking a tax penalty.

(I think that's what you said the debt was -- sorry if I'm remembering wrong.)

The other parts of the advice that I agree with strongly are:
- taking a few weeks off unpaid (try FMLA) to calm down
- grief counseling or psychotherapy for a while
- getting medication to help with the depression and anxiety

I hate to quote cliches, but you only go around once (usually) and it doesn't sound like your life is rewarding or pleasurable. I'm happy just sitting at home looking at the bird feeder and reading, lots of days. In California you might have better weather and be able to enjoy the outdoors more often than in the midwest where I live.

Waiting to make a major decision is important - if you can. But maybe... it's time. Maybe you've worked a lot of this out in the past years of caretaking and you just don't know it.

 

[obgyn65]

Welcome to the forum. I am sorry for your recent loss. Take care.

 

[lhamo]

Sorry about the loss of your mom. Agree with the advice to take it slow.

Can you explain why you are thinking of buying a bigger place than what you currently have? i would put a hold on those plans, too, until you can really evaluate both your needs and expenses. The tax hit you will take on the 457 cash out makes this a really questionable investment in my book.

Working full time and being a full time caregiver for nearly a decade would be INCREDIBLY stressful! No wonder you are in poor health. But as others have pointed out, you now have more time to devote to yourself, and things like hypertension and diabetes can be controlled pretty well with exercise and diet. Lots of good advice about both here. Dig into the forums and let us help you get back into a better place mentally and physically. I think you will find that once you start making small improvements, you may feel better about your work situation. And if not, well, we're the early retirement forum so there are bound to be lots of people giving you the ok to ER! But not when you are in a tramatized/run down state.

 

[LinCella]

Thanks for all of your comments and advice. I've calmed down since I last wrote and am back on track to retire in June 2014. A mere 14 months! I will be in a much better place financially if I wait until then.

I am moving to a larger place but it is just $120 more a month than the one bedroom I rent right now. It is a cooperative townhouse, meaning I pay a $30000 buy-in (I purchase 1/60th of the development) and then $1120 a month assessment that pays for everything outside and most of the work inside the townhouse. It is not upscale by any means but it is in a nice college town, next to a greenbelt and safe. It is cheaper than buying as I just want a place to perch for a few years until I decide if I want to buy or not.

The cashing out of the 457 is to pay for the $30k, pay off debts and to have a savings. I realize I will have a heavy tax burden at the end of 2014 and am meeting with a tax person to figure all that out. It isn't enough to live on monthly for 30 years. I do not incur a penalty to cash out. 20% tax right off the top.

 

[Accidental Retiree]

Hey! I am so glad to hear things have calmed down a bit for you. Yes, a 'mere' 14 months. It'll be here before you know it.

 

[Cassie]

linny727....I sure did relate to your posting! I too became an adult orphan 2 years ago @ 60. My Mother lived with me for 10 years and I was her caregiver. I have no spouse or children either. I gave myself 2 years before I started making my decision about retirement and this weekend I finally decided to do it 010314 (my thread is "Of Age & Ready....but Jittery")

IMHO opinion, your pension sounds great, specially since you stated that you didn't make a ton of money. 14 months will go by quickly....thank you for sharing, I learned a lot from your thread!

Cheers, Cassie

 

[janeeyre]

My husband died on January 31 after a 15 month battle with pancreatic can er. My mother died on march 13 and my father just passed away on march 27. His funeral is this Wednesday. Life can be so grueling. Please enjoy your life and don't spend another unhappy day at your job unless it is absolutely necessary. And you sure doesn't sound absolutely necessary to me.