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Lost Purpose Major Inheritance The Numbers
Old 12-06-2016, 01:11 PM   #1
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Lost Purpose Major Inheritance The Numbers

Been reading the board for about a week or so after years of searching for answers to my unique situation, and feel this community could be the best support group ever! Im hoping to get advice and support on my situation which started to unravel 3 years ago at the tender age of 46, when MEGACORP downsized me 4 years before I would have been ready to FIRE. I have a DW of nearly 30 years, and two children who will be done with college in 6 years. To help keep things clear for me and the readers (unpaid therapists), Ive broken my history down into 3 bite size blocks:

Losing your purpose
Major Inheritance
The numbers

I welcome guidance and advice from the group particularly with the purpose piece, since I dont feel comfortable disclosing the full picture with friends or therapists when seeking guidance and support.

Losing my Purpose:
I feel as if Ive lost my purpose. All my life Ive worked as if I was trying to catch up in life. Ive been a sales engineer for the past 22 years and outside of the last 3-4 years have always loved what I did for a living. I had a very good work life balance, with more freedom and flexibility of schedule then most small business owners. This freedom and flexibility in schedule allowed me to invest in real estate as a side gig which has always been my retirement income strategy. I thrived on stress and pressure and was a willing participant in getting up and going out every day to have sand kicked in my face.

That all changed when MEGA CORP started pushing me out, and ultimately canceled my representative contract. I was still productive and making insane money. For the first time in my life I didnt feel like I was trying to catch up with my peers, I was kicking their A^^es! Then I found myself with both feet planted firmly in the air and my butt flapping in the breeze. Obviously I was shocked and dismayed when they gave me the boot. My whole existence and choice of profession was based on the premise that if you were making numbers you were un-touchable. Suddenly that premise was broken, and a downward spiral of depression and business setbacks began. I had another rep company steal a product line from me, which cost me $40K a year in commissions. I had another long term product line terminate me and am currently in court suing them because I found out over the years they stole over $200K in commissions.

While trying to rebuild my rep business I have found that there are more lying, nasty and dishonest companies looking to hire representatives than honest and fair companies, and had been lucky for the earlier part of my career to avoid the bad ones. In short I love the work but hate the business. After spending my whole life working towards financially driven goals, and finally almost being done, Im afraid of what will come next. Will I really spend the time to get healthier or waste it away surfing the web and watching TV? Can I should I still keep going can I do more

The Major Inheritance:
Prior to getting downsized I was on track to be done financially at about 50 to 52 years of age. MEGACORP had put a real crimp in that, but I was still going to be financially set by 55-58 even after the fact. However that all changed on December 12, 2014, when my Rich Uncle @ 80 had a massive stroke leaving him partially paralyzed, medically incompetent and un able to speak. As others have said, and I couldnt agree more Id much rather be able to speak with him, then in my case, watch him slowly die.

When he finally passes I will inherit from him an apartment in a major city with a fire sale value of $700,000, and half of a $5.6 Million portfolio. In his current state he cant change the will, and the portfolio is growing at about $100K per year after his 24/7 live in healthcare costs and about $128K a year in gifts to the heirs. Given estate taxes and settlement cost lets call it $2.25M to me plus the $700K for apartment.

In addition my father has approximately $500K which he has given me complete control to use as I please to avoid a nursing home taking it. He is 72 has diabetes, heart stent, arthritis and is morbidly obese, self paying would chew through about $150K to reach the current Medicaid look back. Which nursing home will only happen if he can't move without full 2 people assistance. So Im kind of like others who have expressed counting on a future inheritance to retire, but unlike some who will get surprised by a box of papers, Im 99% certain of what I will receive from my Uncle and father.

So as 1 might expect this has zapped most of my incentive to plug away at my current trade, though Im still selling Im really just going through the motions, and I dont care too much anymore. I really cant get jazzed about a possible $1K in income from getting a new customer. Even on projects worth $5K to me, I anticipate all the issues, and dont have the burning desire to get sand kicked in my face for that amount of money. I do feel I could accomplish larger roles, but keep getting rejected, and why bother.

My Numbers:
Prior to the upcoming inheritance I had already achieved a fairly high level of wealth with a net worth of slightly over $1.2M. This is comprised of 6 rental units and a few retirement accounts.

When everything shakes out, the monthly cash flow will look like this rents $85,200 per year ($7100 a month) +as of today SS @age 62 of $2,186 monthly, the law suit mentioned above is going to go in my favor, since the company admitted under oath they breached the contract, which should bring in a structured settlement of a minimum of $20K per year for 10 years up to a total of $1.2M if all the stars align and we go to trial and I get a full award trebled by statute.

On the expense side my biggest item will be real estate taxes and insurances of approximately $31,000 a year ($2600 a month). Im anticipating purchasing 4 more rents for another $4K per month in rents and $10K per year in taxes and insurances. This will Bring the grand total net rental cash flow up to $7683 a month after tax and insurance, but before healthcare costs. In addition to the monthly rental income, structured settlement and SS at 62 we will still be left with an investment portfolio of $3.2 3.7 Million in marketable securities as a safety net.

Our anticipated spending outside of healthcare and taxes during the 1st ten years will be heavy travel with the plan to spend summers in New England leaving after Labor Day for an extended stay in a northern foreign country like Hungary, Ireland etc. Return to New England for the holidays and then leave for a Southern foreign country like Belize, Thailand, and Australia returning around April. In addition we want to take the "cross country road trip".

During the second 10 years we anticipate a split residency between Florida and New England, and hopefully trips to see grandkids. Given my family medical history I'm anticipating a greatly diminishing quality of life after about 70.
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Old 12-06-2016, 01:34 PM   #2
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I'm very sorry though that you didn't have time to prepare yourself for such an early retirement before MegaCorp yanked the career out from under you.

But such an unexpected windfall like a large inheritance can go a long way to change your priorities in life--to traveling and really enjoying life.

Congratulations on where you are--at such a young age. Hopefully you can get the litigation behind you and hit the road.

And remember, you can only stay in most of the EU 90 days out of 180 days according to the Schengen Agreement. Enjoy those fabulous Budapest grunge bars, as Hungary's one of my favorite new countries.
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Old 12-06-2016, 01:56 PM   #3
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Just a little bit of water to toss on your FIRE. :-)

"Biggest expense" could be college tuition. What are your plans if Junior gets into MIT and has no financial aid? Not likely to happen? Already told him/her "not gonna happen"? or planning to pay?

I litigate commercial cases for a living. Don't count on that lawsuit giving you anything until the settlement papers are signed or all appeals are complete. Strange things happen in even the strongest cases.... (Especially don't count on trebling until you have the money in hand!)

Be careful of Medicaid lookback rules on your father's 500K gift to you. Sounds like you've investigated it already; all I really know is that the lookback period seems to lengthen every time it comes to my attention!

Have you run your numbers/budget for travel years? How certain are your "likely to spend" projections? What are the carrying costs of that Apartment from your uncle (and your present home)?

Finally, if you were single, your family life expectancy (assuming it is likely to be true for you) would support taking Social at 62. BUT, what about your wife? Does she have separate social of significance? If not, and if there is no reason to doubt her female longevity projections, you should consider claiming later--maybe even at 70 for her sake. (You might still decide to take early; most do, including many on this forum. But make an informed choice.)

Otherwise, I agree with Bamaman. Bravo and it looks like you are probably ready to retire as long as the spending is not too over the top.

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Lost Purpose Major Inheritance The Numbers
Old 12-06-2016, 02:02 PM   #4
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Lost Purpose Major Inheritance The Numbers

Hi. The family medical situations are bittersweet at best. While they may help the financial ledger the emotional cost is real and can't be ignored. Beyond that, the lost purpose side of things still seems important - you seem to have a lot of drive, competitiveness and energy boiling around and looking for the right target. My hunch is that replacing work with travel won't be a totally satisfying 1:1 substitution until you find some inner peace with the things that drove you to be so successful in the past. Maybe I'm reading too much between the lines or presuming too much but I have a hunch you haven't yet found a way to switch out of hunter mode to feel comfortable reaping the benefits. Try to find a way to decompress first - maybe some time on your own or a volunteer activity that channels some energy or a mentoring situation where you can feel you've passed the baton a bit. Apologies if I'm misreading, but that's the vibe I got
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Old 12-06-2016, 02:11 PM   #5
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I live as if I'm not going to receive an inheritance from either parent. Some might argue that I'm cheating myself by living what appears to be a solid middle-class existence when I could live much higher on the hog by assuming that the inheritances will materialize. I don't agree, because I don't get much pleasure from spending money - the many simple pleasures associated with being self-employed / semi-retired are more than enough (there's a current thread on this topic). An additional advantage of assuming no inheritance is that I'm insulated from whatever disasters may befall my parents' finances as they age.

It looks to me like you've earned the right to take a sabbatical and (perhaps) find a new way to invest your energies going forward.

Good luck!
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Old 12-06-2016, 03:09 PM   #6
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2017ish college is considered Daughter is at UPENN, and son starts in year 2018 location unknown. Her costs are cooked for the 1st 3 years at this point due to new financial aid formulas. This past years incomes and assets will be used for her junior year, my son will also start that year.

Bamaman you are correct it does go a long way and is causing me to refocus what is important in life.
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Old 12-06-2016, 03:16 PM   #7
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Originally Posted by Dd852 View Post
Hi. The family medical situations are bittersweet at best. While they may help the financial ledger the emotional cost is real and can't be ignored. Beyond that, the lost purpose side of things still seems important - you seem to have a lot of drive, competitiveness and energy boiling around and looking for the right target. My hunch is that replacing work with travel won't be a totally satisfying 1:1 substitution until you find some inner peace with the things that drove you to be so successful in the past.
That is what has been driving my search. I've been trying to find a new bigger and better role, even if I have to become an employee. However, nothing but rejection and low returns have been found.

For example. I was asked to fill the role of President for a 42 person company about 2.5 hours from home. I was thrilled, willing to make the weekly commute family sacrifice for the job title and satisfaction. Until I found out 3 things a $100K to start, and no ability to buy or earn into equity.
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Old 12-06-2016, 03:33 PM   #8
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If your father has to go into a nursing home initially they don't have to take him if he can't pay the full monthly cost. Once he is out of $ they won't boot him and he can apply for Medicaid but must make under 2100/month and not have more then 2500 in assets. I just went through this with a good friend that I am her guardian. I had to put her in a home an hour away from me where the prices were much cheaper then here. Between her SS and small pension she could just make the payment. Then after a year she needed to be in the locked part of the facility and the costs doubled. So we had to apply for Medicaid. Luckily she is about 100/month under the cutoff. We had 4k still in savings so will get that down by paying for her care out of it for 2 months. So initially you need enough $ to get into and pay for a decent home. It is so sad to have her that far away as it reduces the amount of time I get to spend with her.
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Old 12-06-2016, 03:36 PM   #9
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That is what has been driving my search. I've been trying to find a new bigger and better role, even if I have to become an employee. However, nothing but rejection and low returns have been found.

For example. I was asked to fill the role of President for a 42 person company about 2.5 hours from home. I was thrilled, willing to make the weekly commute family sacrifice for the job title and satisfaction. Until I found out 3 things a $100K to start, and no ability to buy or earn into equity.
Have you considered any volunteer opportunities? There are what I would call "blue collar" positions out there as well as "white collar". I have been involved with several positions of the latter type.

They can be very rewarding because much of the compensation based competitiveness is no longer part of the equation.

You can just try to be the best at what you do for your own pride and the benefit that you will provide to others.

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Old 12-06-2016, 03:47 PM   #10
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I live as if I'm not going to receive an inheritance from either parent. Some might argue that I'm cheating myself by living what appears to be a solid middle-class existence when I could live much higher on the hog by assuming that the inheritances will materialize. I don't agree, because I don't get much pleasure from spending money - the many simple pleasures associated with being self-employed / semi-retired are more than enough (there's a current thread on this topic). An additional advantage of assuming no inheritance is that I'm insulated from whatever disasters may befall my parents' finances as they age.

It looks to me like you've earned the right to take a sabbatical and (perhaps) find a new way to invest your energies going forward.

Good luck!
That is a good idea, one I subscribe to. My Dad died in 1993, at the age of 92. He left my mom comfortable for a while, but she just died last year at 102.She used up all their savings and stock, leaving nothing but a small condo that my sister got. (She earned it, taking care of mom's finances and care).
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Old 12-06-2016, 04:00 PM   #11
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As 2017ish said, do not count the lawsuit money until it is in your bank account....

I had a BIL who sued a bank for repoing assets that they did not have a lien on.... but during the case he had to file for BK.... guess what.... the BK kept going on and on and on (he like it since the IRS was after him and this kept them away).... but, he never did get any money from the bank.... during the process BIL thought he had the claim, but found out that the bank had gone in and bought the claim for pennies on the dollar...


Later in life he was doing sales.... made some sales and was supposed to get his commission.... but the company did not pay... he won the lawsuit, but owners closed the business and just left... BIL died before he could get anything from them....


As for being the best.... my dad was laid off as a salesman even though he had won salesman of the qtr for 10 straight qtrs.... this was back in the 60s and the manager did not want him to reach 10 years and get a pension... he could care less how much my dad sold, just wanted to pad his bonus by not having a pension charge against his CC.... results are not the only thing people look at....
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Old 12-06-2016, 05:31 PM   #12
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Sounds like a promising outcome, and sorry to hear about your uncle and Dad. I am 45 and semi retired looking to split time between New England and Florida as well. My three kids are 7,5 and 3 and budgeting at least $1.5mm for college. Though my net worth is close to $9mm, I have$1.2mm set aside for the kids and since my wife is 35, longevity is an issue.

I would echo what others have said and I also would avoid making any big decisions on the inherited money for a few years, usually the your first impulse is not always the best but it sounds like you have thought things through.
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Old 12-06-2016, 05:48 PM   #13
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Old Alaskan saying: might want to kill the bear before trying to sell the fur.

Counting on the inheriting stuff and $$$ before it happens may result in in another saying: the price of hope is disappointment.

Cant help with figuring out what OP wants to be when he grows up.
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Old 12-06-2016, 05:49 PM   #14
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So sorry to hear about the suffering endured by your Dad and Uncle. They must love you very much, to provide so well for you. Best of luck.
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Old 12-06-2016, 06:40 PM   #15
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That is what has been driving my search. I've been trying to find a new bigger and better role, even if I have to become an employee. However, nothing but rejection and low returns have been found.



For example. I was asked to fill the role of President for a 42 person company about 2.5 hours from home. I was thrilled, willing to make the weekly commute family sacrifice for the job title and satisfaction. Until I found out 3 things a $100K to start, and no ability to buy or earn into equity.


So I have the drive too and I do some stuff to deal with it: basically I have two price points when I consult or do board work - zero and expensive. Zero is for good causes or things I really really like and money just doesn't get in the way. Expensive is for things that smell like real work but are interesting enough to do. The opportunity you turned down is smack in the middle: work but not well paid enough. Well avoided. Find fun and rewarding stuff in the zero price point category and maybe something in the expensive bucket will come along too.
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Old 12-06-2016, 07:52 PM   #16
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Hi, and welcome to the Early Retirement Forum.

Since you are asking us for input, here's mine. You may not like it but it's sincere and honestly what I would suggest to a friend, or would do myself if I was in your situation.

JOB/PURPOSE:
You are still in your 40's, and have been offered at least one job with a six figure salary. I'd take SOME job, this job or another with a good salary, within the next 3 months. Work hard and save as much as you can for however many years it takes, until you can afford a retirement that is truly all that you want and need for yourself and your family. Then retire.

INHERITANCES:
Ignore inheritances you have not yet received. They are no more than fantasy right now, no matter how sure you feel about them. If you inherit soon, then retire at that time based on that money when you actually have it in hand and not a moment before. If you inherit later in life and end up with more than planned, enjoy your good fortune. Even if you never inherit, you will have a wonderful retirement because you will have planned for your financial security.

NUMBERS:
While you are implementing your own independent retirement planning and working towards retirement, you will have plenty of time to figure this out. Right now, in addition to working hard at your new job, it is also your duty to yourself to learn how to handle very large amounts of money even if you have not received your inheritances yet (and might never). Consider acquiring that knowledge that to be your unpaid moonlighting job. Perhaps you already know all that you need to know, or perhaps not. If you are interested in more information then I would suggest that you start by carefully and thoughtfully reading at least a half dozen books of your choice from the Bogleheads booklist, if you have not already.

Hope this helps!
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Old 12-06-2016, 08:03 PM   #17
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Originally Posted by ls99 View Post
Old Alaskan saying: might want to kill the bear before trying to sell the fur.

Counting on the inheriting stuff and $$$ before it happens may result in in another saying: the price of hope is disappointment.

Cant help with figuring out what OP wants to be when he grows up.
Yup. I was thinking the same thing. Until the money is IN THE BANK it's best to not count on it in my opinion. Rich Uncle could live until he is 110....
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Old 12-06-2016, 09:06 PM   #18
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So sorry to hear about the suffering endured by your Dad and Uncle. They must love you very much, to provide so well for you. Best of luck.
They certainly did, as do I. The windfall however is due to the thrifty nature of the family which had me drive about 180 miles round trip to buy a new scratch and dent dryer @ nearly $300 savings. DW also doesn't mind the dent in the door

This is a great community, and I greatly appreciate the advice. To clarify, I still am and continue to work in my own business earning pretty good money as does my wife as a teacher. Just lost a burning desire to grow and expand the company beyond its current level of earnings. And looking for a way to stay focused and carry on until or beyond when the inevitable happens.

The settlement. Nothing is cast in stone, but when the opposing attorneys ask if the $200K number is still on the table, it is a good sign Planning to structure the settlement over 10 years to keep revenue in the company allowing "tax benefits" if I jettison the other product lines to travel.

Uncle.. He continues to live and despite a low quality of life I wish he stays on this earth as long as he wants to stay. I'm not counting on it per se, but I have to admit, it is curtailing my drive and motivation to seek another $10K a year before tax when he's gifting my family $56K with no tax. To put that in perspective it represents about $1.5M dollar sale, which is huge in my current role. Currently my top 8 customers as a total generate that in sales.

Even running the SS numbers for every year I earn over $65,136 I produce $0.35 in monthly benefit for every $1000 I earn above that number

Back to the purpose. I realize over the years I have derived much of my self worth from my profession and the thrill of the kill. Knowing that the hunting will soon be over because the windfall will dwarf any kill I can bring in has me depressed and seeking advice. Why super wealthy trust fund kids still work despite not needing the money... What drives someone to keep working even after accumulating more then enough Warren Buffet, Zeller, Murdoch, Romney and on and on.

I'm really struggling with this, and welcome all your advice and suggestions.
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Old 12-06-2016, 10:19 PM   #19
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The thrill of the kill is not quite the same for a coder, but after years building stuff for 'the man' I couldn't walk away from it completely. So I build Android apps, give them away for free. But I code when I want, what I want, and have plenty of time for distractions. But as stated above, don't expect travel to fill the void. It won't. Or let's say it doesn't for many. It can be a nice distraction though. I 'get it' that there is less drive if you have enough (or will have enough...I trust your projections). I always wondered how it would feel to make so much that it would not be worth my time to bend down for a $100 bill. Most of us won't bother for a penny, or even a nickel or dime. When you have enough to fund your plan, your job is that coin on the sidewalk that's not worth bending down to pick-up.
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Old 12-07-2016, 10:47 AM   #20
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I just want to throw out a thought that crossed my mind....


From your OP, it seems you are making REALLY good money.... you throw out numbers of what you lost like $200K and $40K.... and that a $100K job is way beneath you...

Then why do you only have $1.2 mill saved Not saying that is not a lot of money, but it just does not seem to match what you say your income was....

Your expenses have to be pretty large to not have more saved... and if so then you need a larger portfolio to keep the lifestyle.... you even say you plan to spend big at first...
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