Made my number a while ago, now need some courage

[Rule of 90 dude]

Hello, new poster person here. Wondering about this situation. I am rule of 90 - pre 62 yrs. old and have an opportunity to take a new job with benefits, full time but a bit less pay and much less stress. Will stay in same field and be more of an advisory and research role. Can draw on my retirement from current job and someone said I can invest part of that at my new job in some sort of tax shelter, no details yet as I have not met with HR at new job opportunity place but does anyone have any insight on this?

 

[gbronc]

Great feedback and a lot of things to think about here. Appreciate many opening up about their experience, both positive and negative. Knew I wasn't alone in this situation on this forum. Have read so many articles on over 50 males and their struggles with keeping and making friends, even when working. ER normally makes that worse, but as many said, it doesn't have to.

I really related to the

I knew that retiring "to" something would be important. Unfortunately, aside from a half-baked interest to pursue becoming a CFP, I didn't really have that part of things clearly defined...

Researched that and know I have a lot of advice I could dole out. Actually spend way more time on CFP education each week than my job. Will probably just create a blog that I've already started that will at least capture my thoughts for my children, if nothing else. That might deliver some on the "purpose" and give some structure to the day, but not do a lot for the social aspect.

Joining a meetup for mountain biking and trailwork is an obvious step. It's ridiculous that I haven't already done that, but that will have few in my age group and will not ride during weekdays, but that's no excuse.

We do really enjoy US and European travel and retirement will open that up, especially since I have two children to visit in remote states.

Have considered jobs like delivery/uber driver but it would just be for something unique to do and not income, but I could see that becoming uninteresting quickly, especially if you don't need the money, plus it has a limited social aspect. I actually don't mind physical or even menial work, just challenging to find the right opportunities.

Would like to volunteer for Habitat for Humanity, but in our area the only opportunities for that are working in their "Restore" stores. No actual home construction/renovation being done. Not sure why they don't do that here.

I'm feeling like moving to a large, active 55+ community with its myriad activities will be helpful, but DW doesn't want to live with "old" people yet.

At this point, may need some forcing function to make the decision for me. Megacorp is doing too well for a layoff. Sounds ridiculous, but I really need the job to somehow get toxic, so I'm anxious to get out. Never been fired after a career at 12 companies, so probably not the best way to go out.

 

[INTJ10]

I think the best way to answer the OP's question is to figure out what you want to do with the rest of your life. The OP needs a goal. The variables are time, money and health. What does the OP want to do? I think it is better to retire "to something" than "away from something". If the OP has a goal then it will become clear if working more is going to help or not.

My relatives always scoffed at my desire to ER. I had to explain that ER wasn't about drinking Mai Tai's on the beach (although there is nothing wrong with that goal). It is about allowing us to pursue other life goals than "working for the man". The OP was smart enough to same enough money to develop some options. Now, the challenge is to figure out what the life goal is. Now, it is perfectly okay to change goals in the future but you need a place to start.

 

[HI Bill]

Hello, new poster person here. Wondering about this situation. I am rule of 90 - pre 62 yrs. old and have an opportunity to take a new job with benefits, full time but a bit less pay and much less stress. Will stay in same field and be more of an advisory and research role. Can draw on my retirement from current job and someone said I can invest part of that at my new job in some sort of tax shelter, no details yet as I have not met with HR at new job opportunity place but does anyone have any insight on this?

Welcome, Rule of 90 (had to look that one up)! If you haven’t, please start a new post under Hi I Am, with a few more details. You’ll need consult your HR regarding your retirement pay.

 

[Blue531]

My personal experience (in semi-retirement) is that I love my freedom! Can't wait to be fully retired. Any day that I am not required to be somewhere I do not want to be is a great day to me. I just love knowing my time is MY TIME. I find even more joy now in the simplest of things...like being able to take my time where ever I go. Enjoying not having to set an alarm clock. I see new people at different times of the day while I am out and about that I would never have met if I was working all the time. I really love having so much time to read and learn new things through the internet, through books. I've enjoyed learning about the stock market and now that's one of my passions. Letting go of having to work for a living, which takes up sooo much of our time all our lives, letting go of that opens so many other doors we never saw before because we had our heads down in the grind. We never have time to think of all the other things we might like to do in life. Start with the simple pleasures in life perhaps. Smile, relax and take it all in --you're at the top of the mountain. The view is great, what's not to like eh? When I told someone I was going to retire early, they asked, "won't you get bored?" I said "I don't come to work to keep from being bored." Lol. Anyway, good luck to you. I'm sure there are so many things you will find out there to enjoy once you let go of the 9 to 5.

 

[CaliKid]

My personal experience (in semi-retirement) is that I love my freedom! Can't wait to be fully retired. Any day that I am not required to be somewhere I do not want to be is a great day to me. I just love knowing my time is MY TIME. I find even more joy now in the simplest of things...like being able to take my time where ever I go. Enjoying not having to set an alarm clock. I see new people at different times of the day while I am out and about that I would never have met if I was working all the time. I really love having so much time to read and learn new things through the internet, through books. I've enjoyed learning about the stock market and now that's one of my passions. Letting go of having to work for a living, which takes up sooo much of our time all our lives, letting go of that opens so many other doors we never saw before because we had our heads down in the grind. We never have time to think of all the other things we might like to do in life. Start with the simple pleasures in life perhaps. Smile, relax and take it all in --you're at the top of the mountain. The view is great, what's not to like eh? When I told someone I was going to retire early, they asked, "won't you get bored?" I said "I don't come to work to keep from being bored." Lol. Anyway, good luck to you. I'm sure there are so many things you will find out there to enjoy once you let go of the 9 to 5.

This resonates with me as well. I have been working less and less the last few years. I notice I am less in a rush which is such a pleasure to be more relaxed after so many years of being ON THE GO at all times. Plus, as you say, having time to do what you want. We got for 60-90 minute walks a few days a week. I rarely would have taken that time before. Plus I don't rush out of the gym when I go... another 20-30 minutes... sure... I am in no rush!

 

[Jerseytunahunter]

To OP, I feel your pain. A little back round-my DW and I (both also introverts) met our $ number many years ago. We both feel like we're not even close to pulling the trigger as far as lifestyle. I am a business owner (56), she is a second grade teacher (55), and we love what we do, which is fine. Also it helps that she has the summer off and I take a lot of time in the summer. We have a house and boat at the Jersey shore that we get to enjoy almost every weekend. I agree with the above posts regarding making friends at an older age. Now that the kids are grown we have less chance of meeting new people. Of course I think we can all agree the generic "stay active/have a purpose" are important when retiring. I wanted to post some of the specifics of our transition plan in the hope there may be a nugget in there for you. Important to note we have already started most of these efforts!

Community Involvement.
Serve on our local hospital foundation board. I've been doing this for years, tons of opportunities to fund raise in order to buy the latest gizmo or help those who are less fortunate. Also meet and work with some really neat people.

Join our local fishing club. We get to hang with people who want to talk about boats and fishing all day!

Help with events at our local church.

When I FIRE I will join the local fire dept. Not to kick down doors and climb ladders but more to help with whatever they need, direct traffic, drive, man the griddle for the pancake fundraiser, etc.

Get involved at our local college. Again, a lot of events whether it is sports, theater, fundraising. Sometimes we are guests, sometimes we are volunteering. Being around the students is always fun.

All of the above you can get as involved (or not) as you prefer. BUT, my experience has been you only get out what you put in...

Friends:

I have a bud who sold his company and RE about 10 years ago. His mindset is you need to make new friends while keeping the friends you have. He has different groups of friends for different interests. My DW and I are doing this now.

Country concerts. We do 6-7 each year, going to see Kenny Chesney in Nashville in June.

Travel. We did 10 days in Costa Rica with adventurous friends (zipline, WW rafting, racing UTV through the jungle). Another set of friends like history/food/ghost tours so we did a week in Ireland. Another group loves skiing. Another group loves SCUBA. This could be endless.

Game night, regular meet ups with 5 other couples plus we do 4 murder mystery dinners each year. The best costume gets to keep a little plastic trophy until the next dinner.

Wine club. Yet another group loves to meet up every month or two for a wine tasting party. As the host location changes you get to meet friends of your friends and BAM more wine and talk of travel, games, concerts, etc. It's not uncommon to break out the credits cards and book something before the night is over (Notre Dame/Clemson in November the latest addition).

And so I'm full of courage right now but I haven't actually jumped into the RE pool yet. Maybe I'll feel differently when the time comes, who knows?

 

[gbronc]

Thought I’d update this thread with my status. After multiple OMYs and 35 years in high tech, finally pulled the trigger and gave advance notice last week. Haven’t set an exact date, but likely late June, early July. Not in a huge hurry and have no ill feelings towards current company or management. This forum and bogleheads were a major influence in working up the courage to pull the trigger at 56. Just search for “Regret” and you’ll get a lot of postings and almost none are about regretting retirement, but regret about retiring too late. Ultimately it was my view that the boredom of retirement could not be worse than the boredom and disinterest in current job and I need to force myself to the next chapter. Maybe not completely doing the “retire to something, not from something”, that everyone advocates, but it will have to do.

Along with the forums, these two books were very useful to me: Retirement Heaven or Hell: 9 Principles for Designing Your Ideal Post-Career Lifestyle by Mike Drak and How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free by Ernie Zelinski. They give a more positive approach to retirement and do not discourage it like some other books. I did do some of the exercises/activities from the books to help understand my future and personality.

Based on my research, I do expect months of second guessing, and a difficult adaptation to spending versus accumulating, but expect to get over it. Anxious to completely own my entire day and take advantage of this opportunity that few have when they are young and healthy enough to be less limited by health and energy.

Many thanks to this forum and its contributors, not sure I would have done this without it.

 

[Dtail]

Good choice. Relax and enjoy the best stage of life.

 

[daylatedollarshort]

Congratulations on your retirement!

My biggest concerns are the lack of social interaction and having a purpose with structure in retirement. I am an introvert (ISTJ), but do like social interaction with interesting people. I just don’t like (or am too lazy) to make the effort to have those interactions and DW is also an introvert that doesn’t typically create couples social interactions either.

We join clubs for socialization and making retirement friends. We live in an urban area and every surrounding suburb has a senior club, plus there are other clubs for hobbies and retirees. Usually we belong to 3 - 4 clubs, though we aren't always super active in all of them. Most of the senior clubs have on site activities all day long, plus sub clubs and sports teams for activities like dining out, cooking, wine tasting, gardening, softball, astronomy, chess, mahjong, golf, hiking, pool, books, crafts, board games, tennis, pickle ball, bocce ball, and dancing. Hiking, golfing and gardening specific clubs seem to be popular among our retired friends. Some do volunteer work like tax payer assistance or Meals on Wheels.

 

[RunningBum]

Congrats. I think you'll find that like nearly all of us here, you won't regret this decision. Some pangs of worry are normal, but it won't be long before those are gone.

 

[Katiek]

Congrats, gbronc. I really hope you continue to post as I've wondered about some fo the same questions and I'm eager to see how you enjoy this next stage. Best of luck and enjoy the freedom you've earned.

 

[teetee]

It is your retirement. I would not worry too much about your social skills. It is too much work to even think about what you dont want to do when you no longer have to do anything.

If you are not sure how to start a 'normal' conversation with other people, maybe you can take baby steps like volunteer in an animal shelter. Or take some classes that involves in group discussions that you may be interested in and go from there.

 

[Nick12]

Waking up and being your own boss . I've reported to execs for approx 30 years before I FIREd . There is nothing like the freedom of being retired.

 

[Dawg52]

Waking up and being your own boss . I've reported to execs for approx 30 years before I FIREd . There is nothing like the freedom of being retired.

No doubt about it.

gbronc, get yourself a dog. Going on daily walks are a lot of fun and you will be surprised at how many people will stop to talk as a result of having a dog with you. A furry friend is an ice breaker. Plus they are just good company.

 

[flybynight]

Big Congratulations to you!! I like many on here went through a similar struggle like you in finally pulling the trigger. I also consulted with this great forum to get advice and encouragement as my past posts indicate. I retired in October 2019 and have zero regrets. Like many here have stated...being your own boss and having time freedom is incredible. Enjoy your journey!

 

[Raygun99]

Just saw this thread and had to add a little of my experience. Stopped working for mega company age 58 on a voluntary riff.. DW and I were not 100 pct home free financially but she was tired of dealing with the stress I brought home every day. I rationalized it was a race between retirement and “health”. I decided to switch gears and pursued tax training at a big box provider, got my EA from IRS and work 3-4 months at will to supplement my financial risk. Fast forward 11 years..So glad I stopped the most painful mega job. Got into grandkids,pickelball, golf, travel, volunteering, new home build…Now at age 69 my health is deteriorating and sports are out of the question. So glad I had those healthy years to do as I pleased. Tax work every season J-A are still a good mental and social outlet and it bridged the financial gap. Probably will curtail that in 2 more years once I can wean my loyal clients back. I believe the sad part of retirement decisions is to reach the financial goal but not have your health to enjoy. It’s not always what you can afford but what you can’t afford to lose.

 

[finnski1]

^+1

 

[PageTwo]

It is too much work to even think about what you don't want to do when you no longer have to do anything.

It took me a minute to unpack that one, but I couldn't agree more!

 

[gbronc]

get yourself a dog. Going on daily walks are a lot of fun and you will be surprised at how many people will stop to talk as a result of having a dog with you. A furry friend is an ice breaker. Plus they are just good company.

We have two cats and really like dogs 80% of the time. But the other 20% with the mess/shedding, damage to property and expense/guilt of leaving them when you want to travel a lot has stopped us from getting a dog. DW is a neat freak and that doesn't match well with dogs.

 

[RetireeRobert]

OP, I retired at age 54 when my three kids were then ages 7, 11, and 17.
When I retired it took me about 20 minutes to adjust. I never regretted it and never second guessed my decision.

DW had been a homemaker since birth of our oldest daughter. I spent my early retirement years ferrying the kids to school and back, to activities, music lessons, friends, and so on. We travelled, did a family Alaska cruise, a cross country trip on Amtrak and rental car back. Got all three kids through high school and college.

A few months after retiring I also joined a local 24Hour Fitness gym and got into an exercise routine three days a week. In a few months I had dropped 25 pounds. I have kept up the exercise routine now for 21 years (now do 5-7 days a week), kept the weight off, got better numbers on my annual physicals, and generally feel good after a good sweat!

DW and I also had dream of a country home on small acreage. We found a view acreage and bought it. Borders a 500 acre Christmas tree farm on one side and other rural acreages on other sides, so it really feels "big"! We spent five years designing a home ourselves, had a building experienced draftsman draw them up to satisfy building codes and building department, then contracted for its construction.

All the while, I continued my "hobby" of managing and investing our money, while DW enjoyed and reveled in her "hobby" of establishing the landscaping and interior decorating our home.

So, let not your heart be troubled. Retire and enjoy. You made it through life so far with your and DW's personalities the way they are. Be yourselves and enjoy your well-earned retired life!

 

[chassis]

You have good pay with low stress and a minor commute.

You don't sound convinced of how you would spend your time in retirement.

You are 99.9% sure, numerically, you can retire. And yet, you haven't retired.

Keep working until it comes into focus.

p.s. it's OK to be an introvert.

 

[old medic]

We have two cats and really like dogs 80% of the time. But the other 20% with the mess/shedding, damage to property and expense/guilt of leaving them when you want to travel a lot has stopped us from getting a dog. DW is a neat freak and that doesn't match well with dogs.

CONGRAULATIONS on your future retirement plans...

 

[Bamaman]

It's wonderful that you've executed your life plan and are now ready to go into the next phase of your life. We all just have "X" days on this earth, but unfortunately we have no idea what "X" is. It's time to grab all the gusto and run with it.

We're international travelers, and very optimistic that the world will reopen next year.
I'm a chronic builder/landscaper--and have not stopped in 12 years of ER.

We're just glad you are where you are at such a young age. Congratulations.

 

[RetiredHappy]

Congrats on finally deciding to do it!

Both of us are very introverted but we do make a huge effort to make new friends. When we retired in 2016, we moved out of state, and it forced us to make new friends. Fortunately my husband golfs and he made me pick up the game too and we joined the country club here. He started playing in the men's groups immediately and I just joined the ladies' group this year. Because I am a pretty good cook, we host dinner with a couple at a time. As introverts, we cannot deal with large groups. We have become close friends with several couples and subsequently some have travelled with us whenever we book 2BR / 2BR villas.

Before COVID shutdown last year, I was also in card groups twice a week with the ladies at the club.

Right now, between golf, dinner at the club or home and travel, we are enjoying retirement.