Millionaire Mommy Next Door

[W2R]

Bull S--- ! When I first posted I was attacked and made fun of by the infamous John Gault . If you scare that easily you'll never make it the world of publishing .

I was surprised at how unwilling she seemed to be, to discuss (not lecture on) anything substantive. She seemed to use the "you meanies are just so biased against intelligent women!" thing as a diversion tactic, so that we wouldn't notice what she was and wasn't saying. I don't know why she would do that, but that how I perceived it.

In real life, the adjective people most often apply to me (much to my chagrin), is "sweet". My impression of her was that she was immature and probably didn't write much of that blog, and never intended to stay on the board very long. So what would a person have thought who really IS a meanie?

 

[Martha]

If you folks want to talk about momentum investing, why doesn't one of you start a thread?

 

[REWahoo]

If you folks want to talk about momentum investing, why doesn't one of you start a thread?

Maybe because it's more entertaining to just grouse about it?

 

[twaddle]

There have been plenty of new posters who were NOT attacked by a mob. I don't think the problem lies with the board of posters. If it did, I would expect the "antibody" response more often than just this once.

Oh, this isn't the first time it's happened. And I'm infamous for squawking sometimes when it does happen.

I'm not defending her. I understand the qualities people didn't like and how she triggered the defense system here. But two things seem obvious to me:

1) We have lots of obnoxious folks here, and we generally tolerate them.

2) When somebody is obnoxious and *new*, that seems to require even more tolerance. For some reason, it triggers the "take down" reflex instead.

I don't want to blow this out of proportion, but defending unpopular viewpoints and unpopular people is important. The world has a sad history of intolerence, so I guess I overcompensate a bit on the side of tolerance for the unpopular.

Of course, some people are justly unpopular. The criminal. The insane. H0kus. Those people should be given bus fare to the next forum.

What I really dislike seeing is when somebody with expertise in some topic that is poorly represented here (like health insurance) is run out of town. This new poster had some unique experiences.

 

[unclemick]

I wanna hear about the dang cookies! - sounds like a heck of a home based business for a guy - plus I cook in my PJ's sometime.

Stocks are easy. Cookies are tough!

Plus we we got snow all over the place and it probably is less expensive than remodeling something.

heh heh heh - momentum players are a dime a dozen - scratch an active manager and you have a closet mo man.

 

[Dawg52]

BTW, I think I now understand why her DH 'enjoys' spending a few days a week doing dirty, wet, smelly plumbing work in cramped corners.

My thoughts exactly.

 

[bright eyed]

I was surprised at how unwilling she seemed to be, to discuss (not lecture on) anything substantive. She seemed to use the "you meanies are just so biased against intelligent women!" thing as a diversion tactic, so that we wouldn't notice what she was and wasn't saying. I don't know why she would do that, but that how I perceived it.

In real life, the adjective people most often apply to me (much to my chagrin), is "sweet". My impression of her was that she was immature and probably didn't write much of that blog, and never intended to stay on the board very long. So what would a person have thought who really IS a meanie?

I scanned the thread to see "where it all went wrong" and really - after the 1st reply from Maurice saying she was spam, others jumped in and threw her several life lines.

Many complimented her blog.

Then, the more she shared and people began asking pretty mild questions - she got huffy and never gave justification or even just disagreed - other than "I said it works for me...dammit"

She said she wanted to make friends in similar situations as her, but I imagine she fares better amongst the general population, eyeball high in debt and can't save a nickel. they can all look at her and go "gee wow!" and she can spout her wisdom. LOTS of the financial gurus make their millions that way Suze basically says the same stuff every day.

I hope she realizes that this thread now comes up second, after her blog if you google her name...

 

[honobob]

Twaddle,

Some people jump right in and expect to be welcomed and their views accepted without taking the time to get to know the culture and the people. Then they are surprised when they are not welcomed with open arms. Somehow the anonymous nature of the internet tells them this is ok. But, would you simply walk up to a group standing outside your favorite museum and extoll the virtues of rembrant before realizing they were there to see the kadinsky? That type of charging in doesn't work in the real world, but many don't realize it doesn't work here either.

If you want to get others to see your side, you need to first take the time to get to know them and to get them to know you.

Sandy, you are a part of that group. What negative behavior by members of that group would you defend/rationalize? I think the spotlight is on the group. Doesn't look pretty to me in full light.

 

[SecondCor521]

In some sort of interest of full disclosure, MMND and I exchanged a series of private emails beginning after[moderator edit]. While I won't post the content here as I want to respect her privacy, I will say she appeared to be asking me for help on understanding her reception here on the board, and my responses were in my own words but reflected much of what has been said here. The exchange appears to have ended for now with her last reply to me being a copy of her "Do over" post in this thread and me saying that her feelings were regrettable and that I thought she was among peers -- that we were neither below her or above her.

MMND, if you read this, you have my complete permission to post our full exchange publicly on this board, with the one request that you delete my real name, personal email and phone numbers which are part of that exchange.

So to the board, if you feel she was run off on a rail, I am certainly partly to blame and perhaps mostly so.

2Cor521

 

[TickTock]

Okay, from a post by me:

I'd also recommend a cash cushion of five years to help ride out market downturns once you do start living off your portfolio.

Her reply:

This would be a great idea if I was a buy-and-hold investor. But I'm not.

This shows a basic misunderstanding. It has nothing to do with buy-and-hold; it concerns expected return, volatility, and drawdown rate. The Trinity study demonstrates this. MMND has a great deal of research linked and posted, but this idea eascapes her...

And yes, I'm aware that not everyone agrees with me. Billy and Akaisha have sucessfully ER'd for 17 years starting with 100% equities... starting with a strong overall bull market. Given the same situation starting in 1972, I think the outcome would have been different. Now, this is not to say that the (very conservative) equity/debt split and 4% SWR is THE WAY to go... but it is to say that if you retire into a worst-case scenario, you'd better realize the risk and have a backup plan. (I'll also note that the Kaderli's have not increased their annual spending at a 3% rate, which also changes calculations.)

 

[honobob]

I hope she realizes that this thread now comes up second, after her blog if you google her name...

I hope the ownership here realizes how this will reflect on on E-R.org if this thread is viewed by that search without the disclaimer that "you have to understand our culture and history". Did we just stop short of calling her a [moderator edit]?

Appealing the ruling that deleted words were inflamatory.

 

[TickTock]

Meh. If a man made the same initial post and claims, would we have hesitated to label him an "[self-edited]"? I don't think gender had much to do with this play...

 

[SecondCor521]

Did we just stop short of calling her a*******?

I certainly hope I did not, given my prior posting that I don't like ad hominem attacks.

If anyone thinks I did I would appreciate a pointer to where I said anything negative about her personally that wasn't justified.

2Cor521

 

[honobob]

BTW, I think I now understand why her DH 'enjoys' spending a few days a week doing dirty, wet, smelly plumbing work in cramped corners.

SC521 My post was in response to this. The fact that you questioned yourself raises you in my esteem FWIW.

 

[Martha]

As you folks deconstruct, don't forget you are talking about real people here.

 

[cute fuzzy bunny]

1) We have lots of obnoxious folks here

Yep, and you're one of them.

Lets get real for a minute here. Re-read the thread afresh with a cleansed palate.

We have a new poster, seems a bit spammish and advertisingish, gets a little skepticism, answers direct questions indirectly, suggests newsletters and market timing investing schemes, gets more skepticism, claims she's being persecuted for being a woman, answers more direct questions indirectly, in the middle of this a couple of board malcontents decided to pour gas on the fire with their incessant whining about how they dont like the board and its occupants and this being a prime example of some sort of alleged tar and feathering, then the OP rants like a 12 year old on the way to taking her ball and going home.

Follow up with a chaser of more board malcontents whining about how they dont like it here, mixed with the usual anti-moderator whining from people who do nothing to help solve the boards issues and everything to create dissension.

There was no ganging up, no unfair treatment, no running of the razor wire, nada.

This forum stuff is easy: introduce yourself, answer questions directly, provide and receive information, take a little razzing here and there and give some back. Learn and evolve, support and be supported.

Rinse and repeat.

I read the "blog" and the rest of the material. To steal someone elses private comment about it, its a mile wide and an inch deep. Infomercial quality stuff designed to get tv and speaking appearances and book requests. Certainly EVERYONE is interesting and has a certain perspective. Not sure we're seriously deficient without this one.

As far as this oft muttered "herd mentality" goes, among the longest term board posters, we have a dozen people with the most ridiculously different investment profiles and approaches to ER that such a suggestion is enormously laughable. Are you telling me that between people like me, Nords, Rich, Martha, Haha, Unclemick, Brewer and the rest that anyone can REALLY see any core similarity in how we go about our business?!? Ridiculous!!!

And for the record, I own very little passive index investments. I just dont like fluff and bullshit.

 

[bbbamI]

Forget cookies UM, all I can think about is pea soup.

 

[ERD50]

Quote:
Originally Posted by ERD50
BTW, I think I now understand why her DH 'enjoys' spending a few days a week doing dirty, wet, smelly plumbing work in cramped corners.

SC521 My post was in response to this. The fact that you questioned yourself raises you in my esteem FWIW.

honobob, I only posted that remark after MMND's childish (apparently) final retort. It was a small attempt at a little levity. As they say 'humor is a funny thing'. Sorry if what I thought was a bit humorous was something that you thought was offensive. But I think there is a fair chance that there is a shred of truth to it. Or maybe not.

Sandy & CFB covered it pretty well. And MMND had a chance to recover, she decided to throw a tantrum instead. Life goes on.

And throwing in the 'gender card' right away was way over the top for her. Again, a little look around would quickly show that is not an issue on this forum. That might even have something to do with the fact that most 'successful' people learned early on that that behavior wasn't going to help them anyway. Heck, with some of these screen names, I'm not even sure of the gender of the poster sometimes, and I only care so that I slip and don't call a she a he or vice versa.

-ERD50

 

[W2R]

Heck, with some of these screen names, I'm not even sure of the gender of the poster sometimes, and I only care so that I slip and don't call a she a he or vice versa.

Exactly. By the way, that's all the more reason for people who have enigmatic screen names like ERD50 (or Want2Retire) to put something in their profile indicating their gender, at least!

 

[SecondCor521]

SC521 My post was in response to this. The fact that you questioned yourself raises you in my esteem FWIW.

Thank you.

2Cor521

 

[W2R]

As far as this oft muttered "herd mentality" goes, among the longest term board posters, we have a dozen people with the most ridiculously different investment profiles and approaches to ER that such a suggestion is enormously laughable. Are you telling me that between people like me, Nords, Rich, Martha, Haha, Unclemick, Brewer and the rest that anyone can REALLY see any core similarity in how we go about our business?!? Ridiculous!!

Yes, you all are really a diverse bunch.

I consider myself to be nearly a newbie, having appeared on the board just a year ago and being a scientist with no background in personal finance or any other related subject. So maybe I can give a newbie perspective.

I have participated in numerous message boards, and before that, usenet news groups, for 20+ years. It seems to me that this message board has been one of the easiest for me to fit in with, of any that can recall. As I told MMND, people here are charming, bright, and fascinating to discuss ER issues with. If someone has a problem getting along with the regulars on this message board, they'd have a problem getting along anywhere. Sometimes the problem isn't with the group, y'know?

 

[ERD50]

Exactly. By the way, that's all the more reason for people who have enigmatic screen names like ERD50 (or Want2Retire) to put something in their profile indicating their gender, at least!

OK, that was the little push I needed to finally update my general location to Northern IL (which is pertinent to some threads), thanks.

But the 'gender' thing remains private. Oh, I see, you added it to the 'biography' section - OK.

Everything has a downside though, you come across shocking revelations like this:

'My avatar is a photo of Eva Habermann, not me.' Another dream shattered

-ERD50

 

[honobob]

honobob, I only posted that remark after MMND's childish (apparently) final retort. It was a small attempt at a little levity. As they say 'humor is a funny thing'. Sorry if what I thought was a bit humorous was something that you thought was offensive. But I think there is a fair chance that there is a shred of truth to it. Or maybe not.

Sandy & CFB covered it pretty well. And MMND had a chance to recover, she decided to throw a tantrum instead. Life goes on.

And throwing in the 'gender card' right away was way over the top for her. Again, a little look around would quickly show that is not an issue on this forum.
-ERD50

Can we stop a minute and reflect that the original post was in "Hi, I am".....not fire and money....stock picking....live your life like me......just HI! I also didn't think her last post was final or childish. Not as funny as it could have been given the material she had to work with but all in all a "B" for effort. And yet you still persist in trying to call her a *********or maybe not. Maybe this is your attempt at a running gag? I think we're expecting too much from new posters and too little from long time posters. Just saying. When I log in it says welcome Honobob. Can't we say Welcome MMND and attack in the appropriate thread?

 

[Rich_by_the_Bay]

Everything has a downside though, you come across shocking revelations like this:

'My avatar is a photo of Eva Habermann, not me.' Another dream shattered

-ERD50

The real thing may be even better ...

 

[W2R]

OK, that was the little push I needed to finally update my general location to Northern IL (which is pertinent to some threads), thanks.

But the 'gender' thing remains private. Oh, I see, you added it to the 'biography' section - OK.

Everything has a downside though, you come across shocking revelations like this:

'My avatar is a photo of Eva Habermann, not me.' Another dream shattered

-ERD50

Hee hee!! I would have explained that she is a German actress and model, but there wasn't any room. In real life, I am a dumpy, grey (or is it white?) haired 59 year old woman with glasses.