Miserable working, what should I do

I

Iwantfire

Confused about dryer sheets
Joined
Aug 7, 2017
Messages
1
Hi everyone, this is my first post. Im 21 years old and I work as a welder. Im absolutely miserable everyday at my job. I hate it so much that I spend most of my time at home dreading going back to work. I guess I hate being there all day and being bored. Plus I dont like being around other people because im shy and have anxiety. Id much rather stay at home and be able to do things I want to do.

Im thinking about trying to find another job but im not sure if it would help because I hated the job I had before this one and I hated high school too. I have a roth ira and brokerage account with vanguard and I invest as much as I can but im still a very long way from financial independence. Right now I have about 20000 between my two accounts. Its easy for me to save money because I really dont eat out much or go shopping and I live a fairly simple life.

Any ideas on what I should do? If you need any more info about me please feel free to ask. Thanks
 
It's called work for a reason. Most people do not jump out of bed every morning to go put in their hours... but we do it anyway. I suggest you find a way to like it better because you are a long way from FIRE. Good luck to you.
 
CaliKid said:
It's called work for a reason. Most people do not jump out of bed every morning to go put in their hours... but we do it anyway. I suggest you find a way to like it better because you are a long way from FIRE. Good luck to you.
Click to expand...

What CaliKid said.

You're probably a good person but just in the wrong job. Go find a job that will at least keep you interested and somewhat enjoy.
 
I wasn't the most outgoing person when working either, and I worked with the public. But I did the best I could and got out. No one can change their personality. But at 21, you are just getting started. All I can suggest is to try and find something you can make money at that you enjoy. Save, save , and save. Invest in the stock market.
 
I'm sorry, but this is not a psychology forum. It's just fine to be an introvert, but hating work and hating being around people is very negative behavior. It's awfully difficult to be very successful in life with those feelings.

You should really consider getting some counseling.
 
Yikes! Some of these responses are a bit harsh.

Yes, a lot of people don't like working, but I have had jobs that I actually liked. It took me several tries to find one I liked, though. I have been miserable at some jobs and there have been some that I liked more than others. You have many years of work ahead of you, so just saying that you should suck it up and be miserable probably isn't the best path. It also may not be necessary. Try to identify what you're good at and what you like and dislike about your job and other potential jobs and see if there is a potential alternative career for you to explore. It may just require tweaking what you're already doing. As an introvert myself, I can see how it might be hard for you to talk to other people about careers, but it's worth the effort.

In the meantime, planning for ER will not only lift your spirits, but be financially productive. It might make you feel better to plot out financial plans for the next decades to get to ER. (I think $20,000 is great for someone your age. I was in debt at that age.) Spend some time learning here and reading books. Just make sure you aren't totally giving up the present for the future.
 
I would have suggested being a self employed welder, but the lack of "people skills" will most likely doom that. If you work in a small shop, would a larger company be better, or vice versa?

What do you enjoy? Do you have any hobbies? Have you ever had a job that wasn't so bad-maybe not perfect, but tolerable? Life is tough, and you are going to have to find a way to support yourself.

Many people try numerous jobs until they find the "right" one. And some are happier at the "right" job than others. I agree with NomDeER-keep working while day dreaming about building your "stash" and eventually being FIRED.

Friends paid a counselor type service to give aptitude tests to their kids while in high school. Two of the three found work they enjoy/tolerate. The third put 5 years into higher education, spent about 3 years on that job, hated it, and is now a self employed iphone repair man-and very happy. You could try try the counseling. Look around, ask around-you will most likely find something. Good luck.
 
Forgive me if I'm wrong, but I suspect this post is coming from a bot or spammer. First and only post, username Iwantfire, despite being only 21.

If you are real, Iwantfire, know that while saving for the future is laudable, it is far too soon to become obsessed with retirement. You are just getting started in your career. Realistically, you will need to work for several decades, so you need to find an occupation that satisfies you, or at least one that you find tolerable. Sometimes a change of workplace can help, because every workplace has its own culture. It helps to have a positive attitude and to be adaptable. I wish you all the best.
 
It may be that this specific job is not the problem. You should consider seeking treatment for social phobia.
 
I think you need to try to figure out the root causes of your unhappiness... is it interacting with people or welding or something else.

While it is fine to be shy and anxious the reality is that IMO you will be missing out on some of the best things in life. My DS was shy and anxious too but has worked through it.... try to be social in familiar settings that you are comfortable and confident with... try to make slow and steady progress. The more experiences that you have the more confident you will become.

With $20k saved at age 21 you are far ahead of many of your peers.

You could try another job... from what you write is seems that you are miserable in your current job so it couldn't hurt.
 
Welding is a good skill. Maybe you can leverage that? If you are in a factory, any job can be boring (was for me). Does your employer have any tuition assistance program? But, most degreed positions are team work jobs or working with the public. Not sure if that is in your wheelhouse.

As others have stated, you are a leg up on most 20-somethings. Save, invest, LBYM, and devour topics on FIRE. Develop a plan to retire, perhaps in your forties. Use the plan as your motivation to "do whatever it takes."

Assess why you are in such a rut, then get out of the rut. That might be a job change, a geographic change, or perhaps counseling. You are where you are. Only you can determine where that is. Then, decide how to get where you want to be.

The simple things in life can be very, very hard. Ask any overweight person, or someone married to someone they do not love. In both cases, the solution is simple; execution, not so much.

There's thread here a couple weeks back about "worst job you had." That might give you some perspective.
 
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IWF - I think that I can sort of relate - maybe....way back when I started in the oilfield I was a Roustabout at ARCO's Turnertown, Texas Gas Plant in East Texas. It was to me as a young man so boring....I was going nuts being there even though they worked me hard.

I chose to go to work offshore on Drilling Rigs. I really liked roughnecking and made a company man. I later swapped to Operations for major oil company and ended up being in/on Gas Processing and Sulfur Plants technical staff, then went to managing and executing Offshore Projects overseas.....that sums up 40 years....

Not sure what kind of Welder you are and what specialized skill sets you have? Your young yet so I imagine you have a ways to go gaining experience and develop the skills. With credentials and demonstrated skill you will be able to get significantly higher wages.

I would suggest you take specialized welding classes or learn them and get tested / certified.

This will open many doors for other higher paying work opportunities including international oilfield.

If you are so inclined....

No matter what you do - like others have said Work is a 4 letter word and remember that Boss is double S OB spelled backwards :nonono:

It will likely help - if you meet that special sweet gal, get married and start a family - to make you bear down & Cowboy Up for the next 40 years....as taking care of the wife and kiddos....is a helluva motivator for Dads.....

One thing for sure - time flies by pawdnaahhhh and remember that Lifes a Dance and You Learn as You Go !

All the best !
 
Spouse has some relatives who were welders. It's very possible to start your own business after you learn enough about the craft.

OTH, a poor attitude will hold one back. Lots to learn, so need to get in the game and compete.
 
Iwantfire said:
Any ideas on what I should do?
Click to expand...

Even if you aren't sure, you had the right idea - find a new job.

For many of us, it takes several tries before we land on a job that fills our needs and is enjoyable (or at least tolerable).

At 21, now is the time to try different things. You have fewer responsibilities now than you will have later, and there are fewer consequences to changing directions. Now is the best possible time to try new things, quit the ones that don't work, and keep trying until you find your "happy place".

See: The Upside of Quitting - Freakonomics Freakonomics

Over the course of my working life, I had 4 distinct careers. It wasn't until later in life that I landed on a job that really made me excited to go to work every day.

You have a long and rich life ahead of you. Don't give up on finding a good job so young. Just because this is an early retirement forum, don't focus on retirement now - there's plenty of time for that later.

Try something new. And if that doesn't work, try something new again. Repeat as needed.
 
Iwantfire said:
Hi everyone, this is my first post. Im 21 years old and I work as a welder. Im absolutely miserable everyday at my job. I hate it so much that I spend most of my time at home dreading going back to work. I guess I hate being there all day and being bored. Plus I dont like being around other people because im shy and have anxiety. Id much rather stay at home and be able to do things I want to do.

Im thinking about trying to find another job but im not sure if it would help because I hated the job I had before this one and I hated high school too. I have a roth ira and brokerage account with vanguard and I invest as much as I can but im still a very long way from financial independence. Right now I have about 20000 between my two accounts. Its easy for me to save money because I really dont eat out much or go shopping and I live a fairly simple life.

Any ideas on what I should do? If you need any more info about me please feel free to ask. Thanks
Click to expand...

Wow you could be me at that age!

I was terribly bored in school, the days drug on with no learning occurring. After school I went into logging and sawmills. I liked part of that, but it got very boring too. I enjoyed the problem solving that occurred trying to use 50 year old equipment. In my later 20s I switched into IT. Talk about not being bored! At least the j*b I was in. We were the group that did the impossible and there wasn't time to be bored.

I've dealt with shyness and anxiety and too. Megacorp sent me to a Dale Carnegie Human Relations class. While every week was similar to walking naked through he!!, it changed my life! I've presented to very large groups and thoroughly enjoyed myself. Before Carnegie I couldn't speek in front of 10 people without having anxiety for weeks.

For me the shyness and anxiety were connected, not all are like that. I'd consider a trusted friend or professional counciling too!

Good luck and best wishes.
 
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Since retirement is a long ways off, find something in the interim to reward yourself for working. Find a hobby you like. If it's a hobby that requires some $ to pursue, all the better as it will give you some incentive to go into work. Good luck.
 
Making yourself have a "1/2 glass is full attitude instead of 1/2 glass is empty attitude" can make anything better. If you can't change your feelings, maybe you need to talk to a therapist or something.

You will be missing out on a lot that life has to offer if you can't get over the dreaded feeling everyday when you go to work. My DH took a toastmasters class when he worked for Mega corp. It is a cheap class and everyone that is there helps you learn how to talk to people and in front of people.

Your choices are yours to make. Good luck with whatever you decide.
 
Being able to stay and do what ever you want to is the definition of retired life...

so yes come back and tell some more about yourself so we can see that you are not a spammer....
 
kitesurfer2 said:
Join the Navy. problem solved!
Click to expand...


LOL... I have a nephew who was pretty bad at working... actually was put into a state mental institute for awhile as he drifted and DS stopped helping him out...

His solution... joined the Navy... said it was great as he now had 'structure'.... which DS was POed as she tried to give him structure... oh well...

BUT, he got tired of the Navy and was kicked out... he has been bouncing between Australia and New Zealand on the dole and is a Hare Krishna...

SOOO, OP has something to look forward too....
 
Check out Jacob at Early Retirement Extreme. He says he can live on ~$12000/year.

Since you're a loner, you don't have as many social pressures. If you can live on little, as it appears in your comment, you should be able to transition to less work and a life of leisure.

I'm not sure most would agree with my statement. I do have a friend that doesn't work and just can't see himself ever doing so. He's a professional gambler and also wants to spend a few days per week volunteering helping children in need. He's a good dude and happy with his life. Also, to me, he has more options than those who must go to their job every day.
 
Elbata said:
Check out Jacob at Early Retirement Extreme. He says he can live on ~$12000/year.
Click to expand...
That much? I thought he started out by claiming to be able to live on $7-8K/year? He must have had some lifestyle creep :D

And then he got a high paid quant job........
 
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