Mom just retired, with no savings...

[Music Lover]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Amethyst Ahem. Children didn't look after their parents. Female children did. And if novels from that time are to be believed, a lot of them didn't enjoy it one bit.

I'm sure before the 1900's men really didn't enjoy working 12 - 14 hours a day under horrible, unsafe conditions either.

So, while maybe the novelists were technically accurate that the females tended to look after the aging parents, they neglected to provide proper context.

[UnrealizedPotential]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Amethyst Ahem. Children didn't look after their parents. Female children did. And if novels from that time are to be believed, a lot of them didn't enjoy it one bit.

In any case it happened, even though I am unsure of the circumstances of what exactly happened, whether the majority were female children over males who looked after their parents, it did happen, the parents did live with their children later in life. The census records say so.

[Bigdawg]

Quote:

Originally Posted by pb4uski This thread is a good reminder that one of the best gifts that we can give our children is our financial independence.

+1.

Even more important is giving our children financial education so THEY become fiancially independent.

[OldShooter]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wyniia Hello, I am… trying to help my mother. ...

@Wyniia, every state AFIK has resources specifically targeted at seniors. In our state, DW was vice chair of the Board on Aging for a number of years. One of their most important activities is maintaining a call center staffed with people who job it is to help in situations like yours. It is a sort of one-stop-shop for available resources.

Your profile says you are in NC, so I looked to see what they have. I did not find quite the same thing as we have in our state, but this page looks like a good place to start: https://www.ncdhhs.gov/divisions/daas Among the links there is an "Elder Housing Locator" and a link to regional "area" agencies. I think this is the area agency for Charlotte: https://centralinaaging.org/

I suggest you contact these people for help.

[Amethyst]

And until recently, I thought we had mostly done away with those conditions, although now I'm no longer sure of that.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Music Lover I'm sure before the 1900's men really didn't enjoy working 12 - 14 hours a day under horrible, unsafe conditions either. .

[rothlev]

Her best financial move right now would be to get on the waiting lists for HUD senior housing. Check out all of the options . When I did this for my MIL the wait was in months not years. HUD housing is wonderful, they usually have activities, transportation to shopping, The rent is 30% of income. Add to that food stamps, and free government food subsidies, she will be fine. Most seniors in these complexes are very comfortable. My MIL saved so much money while living on a similar income that the complex called and told us to move the excess money out of her account. Then you can "hold" some money for her for emergencies, or whatever. Not all the complexes are equal thou, so check them out. I think once you get her in you can always move her to a better one when an opening comes up. This is not a travesty and there are many many seniors in this situation. i wouldn't worry about the interest or dividends, Just hold some money for her. And FYI, absolutely if her only income is SS, and you pay more than 1/2 of her support, claim her on your taxes, until she moves out. ( only worth $500) unless you are single, in which case Head of Household is a significant tax break. In this situation and at her age, I would not pay back the social security, unless she takes a regular full time job

[Nemo2]

Quote:

Originally Posted by 5Miler Two women in the same house is never recommended, just ask me.

I seem to recall, (I think it was Turkish), reading of an old expression to the effect that "Eight mustaches can live together in the same house better than four breasts".

[daylatedollarshort]

Quote:

Originally Posted by rothlev Her best financial move right now would be to get on the waiting lists for HUD senior housing. Check out all of the options . When I did this for my MIL the wait was in months not years. HUD housing is wonderful, they usually have activities, transportation to shopping, The rent is 30% of income. Add to that food stamps, and free government food subsidies, she will be fine. Most seniors in these complexes are very comfortable. My MIL saved so much money while living on a similar income that the complex called and told us to move the excess money out of her account. Then you can "hold" some money for her for emergencies, or whatever. Not all the complexes are equal thou, so check them out. I think once you get her in you can always move her to a better one when an opening comes up. This is not a travesty and there are many many seniors in this situation. i wouldn't worry about the interest or dividends, Just hold some money for her. And FYI, absolutely if her only income is SS, and you pay more than 1/2 of her support, claim her on your taxes, until she moves out. ( only worth $500) unless you are single, in which case Head of Household is a significant tax break. In this situation and at her age, I would not pay back the social security, unless she takes a regular full time job

+1. One of our parents did have savings, but with senior housing, ongoing expenses were less than SS income each month, including extras like going out to eat and vacations.

One thing to consider is that if the OPs mom needs Medicaid assisted living eventually, she will likely have to spend down her assets before Medicaid will kick in, so charging her fair rent now and keeping some of the money in the OPs name might not be a bad idea.

[HawkOwl]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Amethyst Ahem. Children didn't look after their parents. Female children did. And if novels from that time are to be believed, a lot of them didn't enjoy it one bit.

If you mean provided nursing care, yes, that unfairly almost always falls to female descendants.

If you mean financial support, sharing living space, putting up with peculiarities, helping with repairs and maintenance, driving mom to appointments, and conflict resolution when tempers heat up, then both males and females can and do contribute.

[aja8888]

Seems like the OP is MIA.

[Out-to-Lunch]

Quote:

Originally Posted by aja8888 Seems like the OP is MIA.

When did that ever stop us?

[sgstaley]

This probably sounds WAY to simple.

I invested a few thousand dollars of my mother's money in a "crowd funding"(?) website called kickfurther.com. The investor (you) buys (literal) inventory in a persons business. That person's business sells the inventory and pays back the loan with interest to Kickfurther.

It is NOT risk free. I have been investing in these co-ops for about a year now. It is paying two percent per month return. I use 2%/mo as my minimum standard. I also try to invest in short time frames. Lastly, I do not put all of my eggs in one basket.

So far I am very pleased with the results considering that I am not investing tons of money.

[Bamaman]

My suggestion is Section VIII housing. If it's unavailable in your community, check out some of the small cities within close proximity of you. Sometimes DHS can make suggestions on what to do too.

Some cities, low income housing is dangerous and they're dumps. But in other towns, they can be quite adequate.

My mother in law was working at Taco Bell until she was in her 70's.

[5Miler]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nemo2 I seem to recall, (I think it was Turkish), reading of an old expression to the effect that "Eight mustaches can live together in the same house better than four breasts".

True words. Unbelievably, the action that brought about peace in the household was when we brought home a puppy that DGF had been wanting and one month later I rescued another puppy. Seems it gave my mother the companionship she needed during the day as DGF and I worked long hours leaving her alone most of the time. I had never considered that aspect of her life as the rest of our family lived in other states so she was otherwise isolated from friends and family.

Sadly, my last pup passed away this July at 16 years old.

[pb4uski]

Quote:

Originally Posted by aja8888 Seems like the OP is MIA.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Out-to-Lunch When did that ever stop us?

True in both cases.

[ncbill]

If there's lifetime health care via the military why not a military pension as well?

Did she give up rights to it in a divorce?

[Amethyst]

I know a widow who gets Tricare, but no pension, from her late husband's 20-year military career. It is an immense help, as she has many health problems and sees a whole gaggle of doctors regularly.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ncbill If there's lifetime health care via the military why not a military pension as well? Did she give up rights to it in a divorce?

[Wyniia]

Hi thank you so kindly for the wealth of information. I’m currently on a loooong Roadtrip for work and as soon as I have a free moment I will read each and everyone of the answers. I hope you had wonderful holidays and your friends and loved ones are safe and sound! Happy New Year!

[ivinsfan]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ncbill If there's lifetime health care via the military why not a military pension as well? Did she give up rights to it in a divorce?

It could be VA health care in her own right?

[MrsHaloFIRE]

Thank you Amethyst for emphasizing this overlooked point. Female children still remain primary caregivers for their parents AND their in-laws.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Amethyst Ahem. Children didn't look after their parents. Female children did. And if novels from that time are to be believed, a lot of them didn't enjoy it one bit.