Newbee wanting advice

[eudaimoniac]

Hello, It's been refreshing reading and now I'm writing. Here's my short story.
I retired the Special Operations Forces after 24 years and decided to start teaching fifth graders. I lasted three years before the frustration of my hearing loss (too many guns from too many helicopters) caused me to become a statistic. (most teachers quit within five years)
My wife still teaches (first grade) and my two boys are in High School.

We are financially able for me to not work but I feel guilty for it.

I have spent time and invested money in job searching but I am coming to realize that nothing out there really gets me fired up. The boys like having dad around as does my wife.

At this point I feel like I am waiting for the boys to move on (3yrs) and for my wife to stop working so we can buy the RV and disappear.

Problem is I am only 44 and I feel guilty, can't relate to old friends, and have a constant nagging feeling of being a bum. Please help me find a good hobby or suggest some part time work I can look into.

Thanks......time to take the kids to school...........

[REWahoo]

Quote:

Originally Posted by eudaimoniac Problem is I am only 44 and I feel guilty, can't relate to old friends, and have a constant nagging feeling of being a bum. Please help me find a good hobby or suggest some part time work I can look into.

Welcome to the forum. Nords will be along shortly to straighten you out.

[Dawg52]

Welcome! See my signature. BTW, I'm 53 and I don't feel any guilt.

[travelover]

The way I look at it, if you are FI, then you deserve ER. It is money related, not chronological.

If the situation was reversed and your wife was not working, it wouldn't even be an issue.

[fisherman]

First of THANK YOU for your service to our country! I am grateful for people like you and other military members of this board. I sincerely believe you deserve all that you have and more. Lose the guilt and be a Dad and a Husband. There is no more important job at this point.

[Achiever51]

Quote:

Originally Posted by fisherman First of THANK YOU for your service to our country! I am grateful for people like you and other military members of this board. I sincerely believe you deserve all that you have and more. Lose the guilt and be a Dad and a Husband. There is no more important job at this point.

I agree, but if you are looking for something to fill a few hours, have you considered volunteering? There are hundreds of charitable organizations that need volunteers to do all sorts of things, from direct people to people contact to administrative duties to pretty much you name it. Given your interesting past, I can't imagine an organization that wouldn't be eager to have a few hours of your time.

[Coach]

Househusband is an honorable profession, eudaimoniac.

Coach

[eudaimoniac]

Roger.... Copy all
Thanks for the insight

[WM]

Hi Eudaimoniac,

I can sympathize, I had similar guilt while I was in grad school and DH was working, even though (as in your case) DH thought it was fine that I mostly didn't have a paid job. From that respect, it feels great to be working now, and I mostly really like my job. On the other hand, because I was semi-home and able to take care of the house, cooking, finances, keeping in touch with long-distance friends, etc, I see what we're missing now that I don't have as much time for those things. Me being at home made life easier for DH and I both.

I agree with Achiever51, there are a lot of great volunteer opportunities out there. I've realized that there's a lot of important work that needs to be done in the world that no one's going to pay you for, or they won't pay you well. Raising kids is at the top of this list, but there's plenty going on out in the community as well. Your local paper probably has some listings - if you start going to a few community events per week it won't take long to identify some possibilities.

And congrats on your retirement!!

[layla17]

Hi Eudaimoniac it's great to meet you... I completely agree with WM's response that you should consider volunteering in your community. It would be a great way lend a helping hand and to meet some new friends.

[donheff]

24 years of special forces is enough work for a lifetime. Consider the 3 years teaching some additional penance and as my mother used to say, "you have earned your halo in heaven." Stay home with the kids and enjoy - you have earned it.

[jambo101]

Stop feeling guilty about not working its just a phase you are going through where you are painting your self worth by the need to be needed,I'd go get some kind of minimum wage job so that your daily life takes on some structure and you get that sense of being needed back..
My dad had similar feelings a few yrs after retirement and went down to the local supermarket and started bagging groceries,lately at 80yrs old he is driving a little pickup truck delivering auto parts.It sure isnt for the money as he has over a million in the bank.
Thanks for your service,(insert salute smiley)

[jIMOh]

depending on where you live, consider getting a government consulting job part time. If you live anywhere near Wash DC, you could clear 40k-120k per hour as a consultant. Look at state capital and maybe find a congressperson or business which needs someone with a government background.

Don't feel guilty, though, as many of us still w*rking would trade places with you in a minute.

[Brat]

Thank you so much for your service.

It is difficult for someone who is very outgoing and has been busy contributing to society to just withdraw into the family.
My son had a hearing loss in high school, I know how difficult it must have been for you. Classrooms are not good acoustic environments. You have a hearing loss so getting involved in programs for the hard of hearing would be an appropriate fit. Explore this with your VA ENT/Audiologist, or maybe even the special needs staff at your local school district. You would be an excellent choice as tutor for a student who is not deaf but who has audiological issues - someone who understands the classroom and the challenges for the student.

[haha]

Quote:

Originally Posted by eudaimoniac Hello, It's been refreshing reading and now I'm writing. Here's my short story. I retired the Special Operations Forces after 24 years and decided to start teaching fifth graders. I lasted three years before the frustration of my hearing loss (too many guns from too many helicopters) caused me to become a statistic. (most teachers quit within five years) My wife still teaches (first grade) and my two boys are in High School. We are financially able for me to not work but I feel guilty for it. I have spent time and invested money in job searching but I am coming to realize that nothing out there really gets me fired up. The boys like having dad around as does my wife. At this point I feel like I am waiting for the boys to move on (3yrs) and for my wife to stop working so we can buy the RV and disappear. Problem is I am only 44 and I feel guilty, can't relate to old friends, and have a constant nagging feeling of being a bum. Please help me find a good hobby or suggest some part time work I can look into. Thanks......time to take the kids to school...........

I understand your frustration. Your career was very results oriented, and now there aren't ready benchmarks for you to check off. I know a few former spec-ops and Rangers- most of them are still at it in one way of another. Contractors training troops everywhere in the third world; running executive protection businesses; consulting with foreign governmental departments or US based multi-nationals on security and awareness of their operating environments. I am sure you have lots of friends doing similar things! One aquaintance is a disaster relief consultant.

I hope you find something that will allow you to continue to employ your gifts and skills, yet give you enough time at home too.

Ha

[Ronstar]

I want to also thank you for your service to our country. The most important profession in this country is that of protecting our freedom and citizens. So don't feel guilty for not being fired up to find a job. You've already worked a lifetime worth of work.

[Rustic23]

I spent 20 years, most of which, as a Forward Air Controller. When I retired I was much like you. I did not want to fly for the air lines, and just could not adjust to sitting around the house. Long story short, I took up residential appraisal. I found it was something I could do on my time, make a little money and kept me on the move. That lead to several other things before I finally decided that I could sit around a do nothing, and that is what I do now.

[CalamityJaimie]

You've gotten lots of good ideas. As someone who began full-time RVing at 47, I can tell you there is lots to do on the road- if your wife is willing to retire/quit work in 3 years.

There are paying jobs and volunteer opportunities that are fun and challenging. Plus you get to see our country. We worked as seasonals for the National Park Service but have seen many fun choices. Good luck!

In the meantime you can start researching if the idea interests you.

[BigBob]

You have lots to offer, with your background! Can you consider doing the "what I always wanted to do" thing? Something that really brings the youth out in you.
Also, I am sure that local BSA troops would love to have someone with your experience, and you might enjoy the camping/outing with them.

[Brat]

I second the suggestion of the Boy Scouts and add Boys and Girls Club. With so many parents both holding down full time jobs adult role models who have time to listen and share skills are in short supply.