Recent Early Retiree adjustment advice

[pompanobeach]

Dear Live and Learn

Thank you! Great advice! So glad you are enjoying ER.

Pompano Beach, Fl

[Rianne]

DH and me think back of bright office lights, loads of e-mails, deadlines, altering our personalities to fit the corporate culture. DH situation was more stressful than mine, but we look back and think how our carefree college days were hijacked when we entered the work world some 30 years ago. We were molded into something that seems alien now.

We've gotten our younger selves back in a way. We laugh and discuss. Whatever activity we enjoy, we do. It can be a long walk one day, volunteering, swimming at the Y, binge watching TV, planning vacations. It's not always together, we have our own interests.

Get to know your young self again. Open those doors that were slammed shut when you left the carefree existence of pre work. Redefine quality time. We used to "hurry up" and do something fun before Monday hit. Now, everyday is the weekend. Enjoy.

[ER Eddie]

"Need to feel useful"... I'm not sure how to interpret that.

Do you mean a need to have your skills/talents put to use, to solve difficult problems, like you did in your career?

Or do you mean it more broadly, as in a need to feel a sense of meaning and purpose in your life? Something besides just personal leisure, self-care, hobbies, etc?

Those two questions would involve different strategies, I think. Both of them seem like important questions to me, worthwhile things to be asking yourself.

Those are difficult questions to answer, especially the second, which has so much to do with your own value system, what brings meaning to you, what makes life feel worthwhile.

From what I've read and experienced, an adjustment period of 1 to 3 years to answer these deeper questions is not unusual.

I've found that "experimentation" is a helpful mindset. That is, give yourself a period of a couple years in which you experiment with various lifestyle choices and changes. See what fits you. Try this, try that. See how it makes you feel. If it doesn't work, drop it and try something else.

You are essentially designing a new life for yourself, and it will take time.

[Pellice]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rianne DH and me think back of bright office lights, loads of e-mails, deadlines, altering our personalities to fit the corporate culture. DH situation was more stressful than mine, but we look back and think how our carefree college days were hijacked when we entered the work world some 30 years ago. We were molded into something that seems alien now. We've gotten our younger selves back in a way. We laugh and discuss. Whatever activity we enjoy, we do. It can be a long walk one day, volunteering, swimming at the Y, binge watching TV, planning vacations. It's not always together, we have our own interests. Get to know your young self again. Open those doors that were slammed shut when you left the carefree existence of pre work. Redefine quality time. We used to "hurry up" and do something fun before Monday hit. Now, everyday is the weekend. Enjoy.

I'm a month into financial independence. Similarly to your experience, I was surprised to suddenly feel younger, to feel that I had time ahead of me.

Unlike many here on the forums, I was not in a senior position. I was a worker bee, and so I have moved from a feeling of powerlessness to one of power. I had a lot of anxiety about making mistakes; now I don't. I moved from a sense of phoniness - of going through the motions to do things to input data, as an example, that I knew would never be used and was simply there to check a box - to a sense of greater genuineness.

I can focus on things I truly believe are important. All those articles that say that we lose a sense of purpose when we stop working - who is writing those? I have gained a purpose now that I am financially independent. And talking to my peers in similar job positions - everyone is uniformly ecstatic now that we don't have to be a peg.

It makes me think that most people are pretty easily able to handle not working and still having enough money. All these Puritan admonitions that we need to be WORKING or else we will become moral failures, exemplars of the Seven Deadly Sins - the Puritans were wrong. Bring on a smaller population, robot laborers, and guaranteed incomes - we can handle it!

[Bir48die]

Here's the deal.....You've recently retired and it just happens to be summer. So, first think of this as a really long vacation. One you haven't ever taken before because taking more than one week would freak out all your co-workers.

Then, think of a few projects that you have put off because you could only do them on weekends and you didn't want to spend your weekends doing projects.

Don't set your alarm and let mornings happen naturally. Enjoy a new routine.

Do a few mid-week trips but don't do a huge tourist trip. Let the summer play out and watch the masses flock to all the popular places. When it becomes the week after school starts, go for it and enjoy the late summer/early fall slower speed at the resorts.

Lastly, make a list of things you want to do. Could be personal enrichment (i.e. reading or education) and look at your skills/gifts and see if there is something you want to volunteer for. DO NOT VOLUNTEER FOR THE FIRST SIX MONTHS OF RETIREMENT. People want to jump back into the rat race in another form. Be patient.

It is a process to wind down and you have to get over feelings of worthlessness because you're not being "productive" in the wo*k definition. Just revel in the fact that you were successful enough to be able to RE and pat yourself on the back.

[DatumPoint5]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pellice Bring on a smaller population, robot laborers, and guaranteed incomes - we can handle it!

++1,000

[Bamaman]

I have been retired almost 10 years, and am finally reaching real, normal retirement age. After moving to a very low COL area, all I have done is move people around--us twice, the parents.twice and an elderly aunt twice. And some were big moves. We have been swapping out family furniture for better family furniture.

Stay up late and sleep late. Take some international vacations. Get involved in your community and church. The weeks and months will roll around as long as you are busy enough doing exactly what you wish.

I am taking on one last construction project before going into a mode where all I do is cut grass. That will be a defensive approach to maintaining my future health.

[Red Badger]

I'd offer that volunteering might be the most fulfilling endeavor. If there is something your passionate about, where your talents can be utilized, it can be very rewarding. The hard part is going in as a foot soldier. But, in a good organization, they'll spot premium talent fairly quickly.

I only do 1 to 1.5 days a week, but it's enough. I get back so much more than I give. And, I've been "promoted" as far as I want to go.

[ab620]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rianne DH and me think back of bright office lights, loads of e-mails, deadlines, altering our personalities to fit the corporate culture. DH situation was more stressful than mine, but we look back and think how our carefree college days were hijacked when we entered the work world some 30 years ago. We were molded into something that seems alien now. We've gotten our younger selves back in a way. We laugh and discuss. Whatever activity we enjoy, we do. It can be a long walk one day, volunteering, swimming at the Y, binge watching TV, planning vacations. It's not always together, we have our own interests. Get to know your young self again. Open those doors that were slammed shut when you left the carefree existence of pre work. Redefine quality time. We used to "hurry up" and do something fun before Monday hit. Now, everyday is the weekend. Enjoy.

This is a really smart, insightful post.

[daylatedollarshort]

We belong to several clubs, have a lot of hobbies, and especially enjoy live music, live theater and hiking. Between those activities and every day activities like housework, paperwork, yard work and being involved with friends and family we stay pretty booked.

[Dtail]

Quote:

Originally Posted by daylatedollarshort We belong to several clubs, have a lot of hobbies, and especially enjoy live music, live theater and hiking. Between those activities and every day activities like housework, paperwork, yard work and being involved with friends and family we stay pretty booked.

Plus blogging of course.

[daylatedollarshort]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dtail Plus blogging of course.

I don't have a blog.

[Dtail]

Quote:

Originally Posted by daylatedollarshort I don't have a blog.

I mean posting....