"Retired" nurse struggling to stay retired.

[CK2015]

Just got into this thread and am many pages behind.... but, sounds like a complete disaster....

Looking at your RE issue, good intentions going bad... never should have put her name on it....

We just bought my MIL a new place... we had to get it in her name to begin with, but DW went to her this summer and had the property transferred to her name... we own it 100%.... yes, we can kick out mom at any time..... do not plan on doing it, but if my financial situation was as bad as yours I would.... but I would pay her back the % of funds she put into it.... it was not all our funds....

Yeah I know I shouldn't have but I did.
I'm just a big sucker what can I tell ya.

 

[CK2015]

Getting tired of reading the thread and reading the 'yeah, butt'.....


To the OP... get a grip... you seem to say you have thought of all the good advice giving here but have decided not to do it.... so be it... it IS your life... but we all know the outcome that will happen eventually.... it is plain as day....

If it were me, I would sell anything that I could and move it with mom and become 'queen bee' as you say... I would NOT let mom run the show if she is not putting up any money... what can she do, kick you out? NOT.... sure, life might suck for awhile, but at least you would not go broke (at least not as fast).... and it might force mom to want to move and sell the place... but you seem to want to take the abuse and do nothing...

I hope things change for you, but without you doing something it will not...

Thanks I hope so too.

 

[CK2015]

Here is a creative idea you asked for - Can you put a guest cottage or at least a modular office unit on the property mom lives in and move into that or at least spend your days in it to not be with your mom 24 X 7? Look at Google images for modular backyard office. There are some quite attractive options. Or maybe live in a tiny house in the backyard?

That's a great idea if the house wasn't in a restricted covenant community so the answer is no. I can't even put up a shed in the backyard or a screened in porch. And it's a zero lot line house so there really isn't room to do it anyway but it would make sense if we didn't live in the city.

 

[CK2015]

I thought there were 2 retired nurses from Miami on this thread but then realized the OP changed their user name.

It was changed because the moderators didn't want you knowing my business name which was the same one I use everywhere else online.
I appreciate them protecting my identity.
It was a dumb thing to do on my part.

 

[CK2015]

When you say you are losing money, are you subtracting the inventory you just bought from your income If so, then you are accounting improperly...

Inventory is an asset, not an expense.... so in your example you say you have 4,000 items... the cost of those items should not be an expense yet... a cost value should be allocated to each based on the materials used (and if you want to give yourself a salary for making it, that should also be added).... so say the value is $10... then you need to sell it for more than $10 to make a profit... if you sell for $20, you now have $20 income with $10 moved from your assets to expenses with a profit of $10...


You also made a comment about getting money out of your retirement plans.... and how a real estate forum was giving you creative ideas on doing that which you seem to be happy with... well, most people here could give you ways to take money out, but probably think it is a bad idea and are not saying anything.... I think it is a bad idea.... you already are in a deep hole and the other forum thinks it is a good idea to keep digging.... if you think that is a great idea, go for it.... it just might work... for me, I would not bet my future on that plan....

I am not an accountant so I just do what my accountant says to do.

And I realize that this is a retirement forum so protecting the golden nest eggs is the goal. It's a great goal but not always practical. Like I've said before I have no heirs and I am sort of living for today instead of just worrying 100% about tomorrow. Obviously you all don't agree and that's okay. We can just agree to disagree.

 

[hnzw_rui]

And I realize that this is a retirement forum so protecting the golden nest eggs is the goal. It's a great goal but not always practical. Like I've said before I have no heirs and I am sort of living for today instead of just worrying 100% about tomorrow. Obviously you all don't agree and that's okay. We can just agree to disagree.

Actually, I think the concern of most folks for you is not really about protecting the "golden nest egg" at this point. It's about running out of money in just 5-10 years (maybe less) and possibly facing foreclosure and bankruptcy if you keep on spending like you're still making $100K/year. The thing is if you file for bankruptcy, the 403b, 457 and state retirement savings are likely protected from creditors so that's money you get to keep for ongoing living expenses even if the downtown condo gets foreclosed on.

 

[CK2015]

This, in her own words, is the reason for the thread. It's called trolling.

Think whatever you want.

Trolls don't need to lie to be trolls. The just need to be the focus of attention.
Once people stop feeding them, they go away.

Mods can close this thread any time they like but apparently it's got enough of you engaged that it's good for forum business.

I would not say a troll... I actually believe what she is saying is true... I think she just has the wrong forum for what she needs... she has even said that at least once...

I am not a troll and did not come here to disrupt your community but there are sure alot of paternal participants here whose mantra is our way or the highway.

And Probably correct on being on the wrong forum for my questions.
Although I have a few retirement assets I was hoping to find out how I could access them with a minimum of impact. I see that is not what happens here and that's fine. Different forums for different needs.

This thread is a lot of entertainment value, but more likely than not a troll. Ever notice compulsive gamblers love to talk about their latest big win, but neglect to mention their larger losses? OP's description of her real estate ventures fits that mold. If true, I don't think I'd call her a successful real estate investor.

Glad you are entertained. Happy to provide you a laugh or two.

Call me lucky in the real estate investing.
I've always bought to hold and was never looking for a quick flip. I needed the tax deductions and they served me well. I can honestly say I never lost any money on a real estate deal because I have always been a slow and steady investor. I may not have made tons of cash flow when I ran into a nightmare tenant which did happen to me once or twice but even with that property I was lucky enough to sell just before our market crashed. The lady who bought from me wasn't so lucky and lost it a year later in foreclosure. I never set out to be Donald Trump Jr., I only wanted to shelter some of my income from the hospital. So by my definition I was successful, by yours maybe not but that's okay. I'm not here to impress anyone.

And I don't gamble.

 

[Major Tom]

And I realize that this is a retirement forum so protecting the golden nest eggs is the goal.

That is neither a true nor fair characterization of this forum. Some of us do indeed seek to preserve, and even grow our investments, while thers are fine with spending them down as they age. The one goal that unites the overwhelming majority of us is that we are all seeking to live a lifestyle that is sustainable over the long term, whatever our source of income, be it from a pension, investments, Social Security, work, other sources, or any combination of these.

 

[CK2015]

Actual, it's not really about protecting the "golden nest egg" at this point. It's about running out of money in just 5-10 years and possibly facing foreclosure and bankruptcy if you keep on spending like you're still making $100K/year.

I could be dead in 5-10 years.
And why would I face foreclosure?
I could just sell my apartment and come out smelling like a rose.
But more than likely I will just take the 457 money and kick my can down the road a while to see if my business can sustain me. If not then I just sell and move to an apartment. I just don't see the black cloud everyone else sees.
Maybe I just have too much faith in myself.
Glad somebody does.

 

[daylatedollarshort]

I could be dead in 5-10 years.
And why would I face foreclosure?
I could just sell my apartment and come out smelling like a rose.
But more than likely I will just take the 457 money and kick my can down the road a while to see if my business can sustain me. If not then I just sell and move to an apartment. I just don't see the black cloud everyone else sees.
Maybe I just have too much faith in myself.
Glad somebody does.

I am not sure of your numbers but if your outgo is $70K more a year than your total income, and this continues into the future, then the living above your current means amount is depleting your net worth by $70K a year. If your total net worth is $500K all assets and liabilities added up (I can't tell from what you wrote what it is so I'm just guessing here), then you will deplete your assets, one way or another, in 7 years.

It does appear you are heading for eventual bankruptcy. Most retirement accounts will be exempt assets, while houses usually are not. So the retirement accounts are the last assets you would want to spend down. Per the earlier suggestions, it might be helpful to sit down with an elder attorney (or even bankruptcy attorney at this point) and CPA or fee only financial planner and have them help you review your options, put you and mom on a sustainable budget and determine how you can protect as much of your assets as possible going forward. Let the CPA, attorney or CFP be the bad guy and break the new budget and living arrangement news to mom.

If you made a flow chart of your options, the first question in regard to your mom would be what can I afford to do for her and then work within that. You wouldn't start with what does she want? If you mom doesn't have any financial skin in the game then of course she will want as nice a life as she can dream up for herself. That is just human nature. Our kids would choose to drive Porsches if they were not budget constrained.

 

[CK2015]

That is neither a true nor fair characterization of this forum. Some of us do indeed seek to preserve, and even grow our investments, while thers are fine with spending them down as they age. The one goal that unites the overwhelming majority of us is that we are all seeking to live a lifestyle that is sustainable over the long term, whatever our source of income, be it from a pension, investments, Social Security, work, other sources, or any combination of these.

I stand corrected.

 

[Spudd]

Have you considered selling your handmade items on Etsy instead of Ebay? I understand their fees are lower.

 

[CK2015]

I am not sure of your numbers but if your outgo is $70K more a year than your total income, and this continues into the future, then the living above your current means amount is depleting your net worth by $70K a year. If your total net worth is $500K all assets and liabilities added up (I can't tell from what you wrote what it is so I'm just guessing here), then you will deplete your assets, one way or another, in 7 years.

My income may have decreased by 70K a year but I was living this forums mantra before that of LBYM's. So even though I lost that much income I was still able to manage with the years savings that I had on hand and the credit available to me. I needed that money to pay for the surgeries and insurance and medical copays, meds, etc. Now those expenses are drastically reduced but not near 70K.


It does appear you are heading for eventual bankruptcy. Most retirement accounts will be exempt assets, while houses usually are not. So the retirement accounts are the last assets you would want to spend down. Per the earlier suggestions, it might be helpful to sit down with an elder attorney (or even bankruptcy attorney at this point) and CPA or fee only financial planner and have them help you review your options, put you and mom on a sustainable budget and determine how you can protect as much of your assets as possible going forward. Let the CPA, attorney or CFP be the bad guy and break the new budget and living arrangement news to mom.

Homesteads are also protected in bankruptcies in Florida.
I can change my homestead at any time to the free and clear house. But I get your drift and thanks for the advice. I'm going to see my accountant next month. Maybe the accountant can speak to Mom. She used to go to the same church as Mom and I used to so she'd likely take it well coming from her since she respects her.


If you made a flow chart of your options, the first question in regard to your mom would be what can I afford to do for her and then work within that. You wouldn't start with what does she want? If you mom doesn't have any financial skin in the game then of course she will want as nice a life as she can dream up for herself. That is just human nature. Our kids would choose to drive Porsches if they were not budget constrained.

Mom does have skin in the game. She's 50% owner of everything but that didn't stop her from letting the homeowners insurance go.

I know you all think I live in fantasyland but Mom really is the queen of that castle and to be honest I don't blame her since it's served her well for pretty much most of her adult life. Auntie too.

 

[kombat]

[OP's brother] has had to deal with his wife's father and mother and their problems. They both ended up in nursing homes and having to dispose of assets.

You've repeatedly used similar verbiage in describing nursing homes, as though they're somehow trying to "get at" residents' assets unjustly. I'm not sure you have the correct idea of nursing homes, which I find very ironic given your professed experience in the industry.

Nursing homes are very expensive. If you have money, you should have to pay for your own care. If you're broke, then the taxpayers will cover it for you. This is welfare. Rich people shouldn't receive welfare, which is why you're required to pay your own way as much as possible, if you're able. There's nothing nefarious about expecting people to pay their own way. The alternative (hiding assets, moving things around, etc.) is nothing short of fraud.

 

[CK2015]

Have you considered selling your handmade items on Etsy instead of Ebay? I understand their fees are lower.

The fees are lower but the competition is greater and the traffic much less than ebay. I know a few who have tried and have gone back to ebay. Just not enough return on investment of time. The only other marketplace that seems to do better is Amazon but jewelry is a gated category there and it takes alot of work to get ungated like making your own website which I do not have nor desire to have right now.

My items are not hand made, just assembled by me and Mom from already made materials. I take apart other finished jewelry and make our own creations. It's only unique because we come up with the designs but it's not technically hand made. It's not crafty or artsy looking stuff.

And although I know there is a very famous lady doing exactly this who was featured on the news recently and selling her stuff as "hand made" she's technically breaking the rules of Etsy. But even Etsy is changing, looking the other way with the Chinese sellers and has sold out to the Chinese because they just can't resist the money and are being highly criticized for doing so by the true artists that were there at the beginnings of Etsy. I wouldn't be surprised if ebay or Alibaba buys Etsy in the future.

 

[CK2015]

You've repeatedly used similar verbiage in describing nursing homes, as though they're somehow trying to "get at" residents' assets unjustly. I'm not sure you have the correct idea of nursing homes, which I find very ironic given your professed experience in the industry.

Nursing homes are very expensive. If you have money, you should have to pay for your own care. If you're broke, then the taxpayers will cover it for you. This is welfare. Rich people shouldn't receive welfare, which is why you're required to pay your own way as much as possible, if you're able. There's nothing nefarious about expecting people to pay their own way. The alternative (hiding assets, moving things around, etc.) is nothing short of fraud.

I understand they need money to operate and if it was just Mom's money at stake I'd be fine with it but it's not. My equity is entwined in this and my father was a Korean war veteran and because of that Mom is entitled to some VA welfare whether you like it or not.

If the VA had treated my father's condition correctly in the first place, Mom wouldn't be a widow today and I would probably not be in the mess with her that I am today. Since they did not, I have zero hesitation letting them foot the bill for their failure to keep their end of the bargain with my Dad. Get over it. Freedom isn't free.

And I was just telling you what my sister in law did, not what I plan on doing. I'm not sure how my future will end. Only God knows that. I will probably die much younger and the hardworking taxpayers like yourself will be spared the burden of my long term care just like they were for paying for my Dads.

 

[ivinsfan]

Honestly OP, you somehow manage to post the most guileless, yet offensive posts I have seen in quite sometime. You have somehow called some posters here veteran bashing, welfare bashing,money hoarding, supercilious, anti real estate, uniformed, anti-family and I think I probably missed a few, and yet you still have people tying to talk to you and help you with your situation.

What exactly are you hoping to get here, because it seems to me after 9 pages, you are just trying to poke the bear.

 

[CK2015]

Honestly OP, you somehow manage to post the most guileless, yet offensive posts I have seen in quite sometime. You have somehow called some posters here veteran bashing, welfare bashing,money hoarding, supercilious, anti real estate, uniformed, anti-family and I think I probably missed a few, and yet you still have people tying to talk to you and help you with your situation.

What exactly are you hoping to get here, because it seems to me after 9 pages, you are just trying to poke the bear.

Who's poking who?.
Nice to meet you too.

 

[W2R]

Thanks, all.