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Old 05-17-2022, 12:36 PM   #21
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Originally Posted by ERpathforward View Post
Hi all,

I surround myself with other retired people in their 60s-70s, "normal" retirement age in American culture. The challenge I have is social. I don't know any other early retirees. Also, when I started telling others I'm retired, they made a lot of assumptions (that I'm a multi-millionaire and have endless disposable income). Very irritating. It's not true and explaining it over and over is tiring. So now I keep it a secret (only close friends know). If I want excess money for travel I work a quick gig to pay for it.

Vague answers to questions regarding your financial status are just fine - people are probably interested in how you retired at such a comparatively young age and only hold a single view of retirement - namely that retirement has as a prerequisite the accumulation of a huge pile of assets.

"I worked until I had enough for the lifestyle that I want" is a sufficient explanation. No need to go into any more detail unless you really want to.

Your situation is not unlike groups of people at any stage of life where there is disparate availability of money. Sometimes you just need to say "no" to an activity, donation request, or "suggested purchase" and move on. The Jonses ALWAYS want you to keep up with them
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Old 05-17-2022, 01:48 PM   #22
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Originally Posted by Sunset View Post
Again

Perhaps it was poor wording, I mean did OP get ALL 40 quarters, as in did he put in enough work to fill each of the 40 slots empty slots so it counts.

Even the term quarters is really a wrong holdover from long ago, it should be 40 checkboxes as a person can earn 4 in 1 year by working one month per year, as long as the income is high enough.
mea cupla.

I read 40 quarters as 40 years, i.e. a lifetime of earnings...
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2 years and counting
Old 05-18-2022, 07:26 PM   #23
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2 years and counting

Thanks for all the varied responses.

To clarify, I've always had friends that are older than me and it's because I like them (the ones I know tend to be more relaxed and I usually have more in common with them). I've also always had an "alternative" schedule during my entire career, and so know many people within that lifestyle already. My main interest is finding people in their 40s who are retired with similar financial values (I am not very materialistic) and are well traveled/educated about different cultures/lifestyles.

I appreciate the feedback about how you've all responded to others when asked about what you do. I now say I work p/t. Since I'm athletic, I fell into personal training after retiring from corporate. People move on faster with that than if I say I'm retired. I just don't wanna talk about stuff I don't wanna talk about.

My transition from work to retirement was minimal. By the time I was in my mid-30s, I was already only consulting 25 hours/week. In my 40s, I cut down to 10 hours/wk. After six months of doing nothing, I started personal training 10 hours/week, but now it's down to 0-5 hours/week since I pick and choose when/who I want to work with.

So everything has been relatively smooth. I've been seeing headlines lately of a trend in the younger generation in America, who'd rather live on less, save less for the future=work less, and enjoy life more in the here and now. I relate to that.
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Old 05-18-2022, 07:50 PM   #24
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Try find a job that you like that you aren't concerned (at all) with the money. I occasionally swap drive for a local VW dealer. That means they texted me yesterday asking if I wanted to drive tomorrow. I said sure, so I'll make a seven hour round trip swapping a couple new VWs by myself listening to podcasts, calling family, and having a pleasant lunch at a "faraway place" enroute. I would do this job for free! And yet they pay me (wait for it) minimum wage.
I did that for a while as well - until some snotty car salesman said "Took you long enough!" That was my last repositioning gig.
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Old 05-18-2022, 08:02 PM   #25
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life is too short for that kind of crap, Koolau.
I'm walking the edge of just bailing right now, I have to remind myself to take a few breaths. Plan my work exit, work my plan.
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Old 05-19-2022, 05:04 AM   #26
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I did that for a while as well - until some snotty car salesman said "Took you long enough!" That was my last repositioning gig.
I would have make some response about "taking the scenic route" or "having explosive diarrhea enroute and almost making it". Knowing I could quit/get fired tomorrow and it would have minimal impact on me makes things a lot more fun although my employer loves me because I take the actual task seriously.
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Old 05-19-2022, 05:16 AM   #27
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It's probably not so bad today, with cars flying off the lots, but think how tedious that salesman's job normally is.

And here you were, smiling "Here I am! Here's the car!" and tossing the keys in the air, etc. He probably couldn't stand the contrast.

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I did that for a while as well - until some snotty car salesman said "Took you long enough!" That was my last repositioning gig.
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Old 05-19-2022, 09:04 AM   #28
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To me the age of friends matters little if interests and ability (sometimes impacted by age but my 60 something friend beat me by 10 minutes in my last Half Marathon...) are compatible. I'm being active with activities I enjoy.. some are after work hours and skew younger, others skew older.


As far as finances, I hint that I'm not made of money but made frugal choices and value my time more than money. I've not sensed any jealousy or assumptions from my friends. They spend way more than me.... but then, they work! Overall most people react positively and maybe a little curious when they find out I don't work anymore to support myself.



Now to find a compatible partner..... that's a nut I've yet to crack.
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Old 05-19-2022, 10:13 AM   #29
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Originally Posted by ERpathforward View Post
My main interest is finding people in their 40s who are retired with similar financial values (I am not very materialistic) and are well traveled/educated about different cultures/lifestyles.
You might try joining an environmental group. People in those tend to be low consumption types interested in sustainable living. In our area it is easy to find people who are well traveled and different cultures, but not so much the frugal types since it is a high cost of living area.

The people that got upset over our retirement were pretty well described in the book The Millionaire Next Door as income but not balance sheet affluent. I think the nosy, "big hat no cattle" people who asked a lot of questions about our ER were hoping to hear that we won the lottery or got an inheritance, not that we simply spent less and were able to save more than they did.
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Old 05-19-2022, 10:36 AM   #30
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I retired at 49 and feel similar to OP and honestly it’s worse around my siblings who are 10-12 older than me and still grinding away with little saved.

Hang in there and focus on YOU and your health as that’s all that matters!
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Old 05-20-2022, 04:12 AM   #31
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I retired at 49 and feel similar to OP and honestly it’s worse around my siblings who are 10-12 older than me and still grinding away with little saved.

Hang in there and focus on YOU and your health as that’s all that matters!
Yeah, my big Sis always envied my scientific-path salary but she REALLY envied my ability to ER. She absolutely hated her j*b at the end but had to stay almost to the bitter end to make it w*rk for her. She has finally accomplished FIRE. Speaking of which, she owed me $5K (a short-term loan) and by coincidence I received her check today. Life is good - we eat this week!. YMMV
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Old 05-20-2022, 05:39 AM   #32
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I retired at age 48 and (I think) I look a bit younger than my age. If someone asks what I do, and I say I'm retired, the usual reaction is "you're too young to be retired". I say that I was lucky to get a good job right out of college, I never married and I have no kids, so no college educations to pay for and it was easy to save up. That explanation is usually enough and it's never really been a problem for me.
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Old 05-20-2022, 06:32 AM   #33
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It seems the less you need/want a j*b the more "they" want you to w*rk for them. It's one of the great paradoxes of life. YMMV
Ain't that the truth!
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Side gig
Old 05-24-2022, 03:26 PM   #34
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Side gig

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Originally Posted by arcyallen View Post
Try find a job that you like that you aren't concerned (at all) with the money. I occasionally swap drive for a local VW dealer. That means they texted me yesterday asking if I wanted to drive tomorrow. I said sure, so I'll make a seven hour round trip swapping a couple new VWs by myself listening to podcasts, calling family, and having a pleasant lunch at a "faraway place" enroute. I would do this job for free! And yet they pay me (wait for it) minimum wage.
I started walking dogs on Rover for fun, and have had to stop taking on new clients. I love dogs, and I would walk dogs, and get my steps in for free, but I get paid $32/hour after Rover fees. It makes for some nice fun money. I have a friend who does the swap car gig for Enterprise, and he is always posting about having lunch at a new restaurant - he loves it.
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Old 05-24-2022, 04:44 PM   #35
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I know it is just one reference, but I play Pickleball 6x weekly and the mix of players are all ages. The non retired folks have flexible/alternate schedules. You will need to search out these types. They are out there.
+1 (although not 6 days/week - knees couldn’t take it )

I have met older folks plus several folks in their forties who have flexible/gig work schedules. I now consider several of them friends.
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Old 05-24-2022, 04:52 PM   #36
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Try meetup.com pick a few things and see if you make some connections....
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Old 05-24-2022, 05:24 PM   #37
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I retired slightly early so when people ask what I do, I just say "I hit my number! I don't have to work anymore!" A lot of them think I hit the lottery. I have to laugh. "No.... my passive income covers my expenses. That's my number."

The ones I enjoy continue the conversation about "Your Money or Your Life," "Mr. Money Moustache" and others... and have made a new friend!

PS -- that rover gig sounds like fun, gonna' go check it out!
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Old 05-24-2022, 05:30 PM   #38
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I started walking dogs on Rover for fun, and have had to stop taking on new clients. I love dogs, and I would walk dogs, and get my steps in for free, but I get paid $32/hour after Rover fees. It makes for some nice fun money.

That sounds like a great way to get paid to exercise.
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Old 05-24-2022, 06:11 PM   #39
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Someone on MMM forum did a dating site for FIRE'd people.
firedating.me
Fire Dating
The first ever dating website for people into Financial Independence. Free & privacy friendly. Find your mustachian! Stats (as of 47 minutes ago) Key metrics ... By FIRE type: "lean": 718 ; regular: 3310 "fat": 747
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Old 05-25-2022, 06:15 AM   #40
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How have you dealt with being open about early retirement, and dealing with people's assumptions? Or deciding when/who to disclose it to?
To get back to your original question, I tell anyone where it seems pertinent. I'm super proud of my accomplishment, but want to stay far away from bragging. I've honed the language to this:

"I've worked since I was 14 and have ALWAYS spent waay less than I've made."
(and if they seem at all interested)
"I found if I cut aggressively on the spending that doesn't bring me maximum joy, I can spend lavishly on the things that do. And most things don't bring us maximum joy."

The first line I emphasize spending, not saving. We all can control our spending, but saving feels uncontrollable to some. And clearly high income wasn't the reason if I was doing it even at minimum wage! The second part helps them understand I'm not living like a pauper, but I'm not wasting money either.

And if in casual conversation anyone asks "roughly how much" I've saved I answer with "about a million dollars, give or take a million". It takes them a minute to understand that math of that and then they laugh.
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