Why is FIRE so bittersweet?

[ExFlyBoy5]

Most of the other gardeners are also retirees. I could not tell you what a single one of them did for work, and they don't know what I did.

If they knew what you did, they might banish you from the garden!

 

[jollystomper]

Not bittersweet hear, though perhaps due to not thinking about FIRE until I was 51 and most of the kids were thru college. At that point it became another goal to achieve. There is nothing bitter for me when pursuing desired goals.

 

[tb001]

Not bittersweet hear, though perhaps due to not thinking about FIRE until I was 51 and most of the kids were thru college. At that point it became another goal to achieve. There is nothing bitter for me when pursuing desired goals.

I think this personality type can have a harder time with retirement though. Glad to hear it’s all on the ‘sweet’ side for you!

 

[second_act_at_42]

Wow - thank you so much everyone! Talk about a warm welcome to a new community. I honestly only expected a few folks to take the time to read the post - let alone spend the time replying. Much appreciated!

There are many many fantastic bits of advice and nuggets of wisdom here. Retiring "to" something rather than "away" from really resonates. But in my vision (which does feel akin to the first day of summer break!) it becomes a choose your own adventure novel to start. My DW and I are pretty sure we will both find work in the future - but not certain in what form. Maybe teaching or maybe just taking care of a larger property and tending a garden properly instead of part-timing it. Spending time to "be there" for my DW and son is also a priority. My w#rk schedule currently doesn't allow for the time I'd prefer to spend - or perhaps more accurately - the "quality" of time.

Will read through your thoughtful comments in more detail and send some replies. Thanks again!

PS - what a relief to actually put our plan out there and get feedback from like-minded folks. Phew!

 

[unclemick]

Hmmm - I was 'an unemployed slacker after age 50 layoff.' Never heard of ER.
Finally stumbled across 'Dory36' et al. Began to learn and made the mental shift between the ears sometime AFTER I knew I could live on my investments.

heh heh heh - still kept a low profile til I could 'officially' get my age 55 pension. ?chickenheartedness reigned supreme. Grin.

 

[HI Bill]

Welcome! It looks like your plan is financially solid, with a ~3% WR. My only question (besides if you have something to retire 'to'), is whether you have any desires for major purchases, new expensive hobbies, or travel you didn't budget for. In my One More Year (OMY) syndrome, I'm constantly reasoning with myself: The longer I w#rk, the better home I can afford, or the more toys (better home theater projector, better speakers) each month will buy. In these days of restricted travel, this reasoning is my only way of continuing on, as I just passed what was to be my FIRE date (May 15). If you don't have needs/wants outside of your existing budget, and don't foresee anything new (like taking up horse, airplane or yacht racing), then I say FIRE now. Of course, a $200K buffer in 6 months may be worth it at your age. You could always buy a Ferrari to go with the new house! But at a 3% WR, you do have some flexibility.

 

[second_act_at_42]

HNL Bill - we like pretty low cost activities like hiking, kayaking, biking, camping. And we already have most of the toys we need. Depending on when we RE and what home we find - we may keep a > 2yr of expenses in cash for "extras"

But that is a good point though to think more about. Thanks!

 

[Dtail]

Being retired is pretty darned good; I don't miss work one bit.

I would suggest gardening as a post retirement activity. The weather, weeds and bugs don't care at all how important you were or thought you were. They'll try to destroy your crop all the same. And when you've finally coaxed that perfectly ripe, beautiful and delicious heirloom tomato from the the plant to your plate, you'll have a satisfaction that no job can give you. We have a plot at the community garden. Most of the other gardeners are also retirees. I could not tell you what a single one of them did for work, and they don't know what I did. We talk about what we've planted, how it's growing, what might help with the pests, how we are coping with the weather, what we might try next year and such. Just a bunch of people who enjoy a wholesome activity out in the sunshine and fresh air.

Good post.
In this COVID era, I have taken up gardening and it is so much more enjoyable than I thought it would be.
There is almost instant satisfaction, plus there is a lot of logic employed besides the aesthetic planning of beauty.
Hope I can maintain everything if I go back to Pickleball 6x weekly.

 

[Lawrencewendall]

Good post.
In this COVID era, I have taken up gardening and it is so much more enjoyable than I thought it would be.
There is almost instant satisfaction, plus there is a lot of logic employed besides the aesthetic planning of beauty.
Hope I can maintain everything if I go back to Pickleball 6x weekly.

This is my first year of FIRE and I just did not feel like gardening. Last year I built a greenhouse and 2 raised garden beds but just did not have the motivation to do anything with them. I still have the seeds I have bought but never did anything with them. Kept telling myself "I'll do it tomorrow" but never did. Enjoyed gardening before FIRE and wondering if it will come back. I can't figure it out.

 

[socca]

I would suggest gardening as a post retirement activity.

So ... a person previously managing a large staff with a $100M+ budget will be satisfied puttering around in the garden? Perhaps.

I enjoy doing the yard work around my place (getting out in the fresh air, seeing plants grow & thrive, etc.) but I wouldn't consider this a primary vehicle to (semi-)retirement satisfaction. YMMV.

 

[Aerides]

So ... a person previously managing a large staff with a $100M+ budget will be satisfied puttering around in the garden? Perhaps.

It all depends on how people see themselves and define themselves. Someone who gets great satisfaction and judges himself by the size of their...budget, might have a harder time adapting (or never really want to).

I had a decent career, staff, role, budget, etc. A couple years into ER and I sometimes can't recognize my old self...was that me? lol no, I played a role, and pretty well. Glad to have put that alter-ego aside now.

 

[Souschef]

I never had any regrets. Two days after I retired we were on a plane fora 2 week tour of South America.
After 12 years, 41 countries, 52 trips, 511 travel days, 18 cruises and about a half million dollars later, we are still in love at ages 82 and 76.

 

[samm]

If I had your assets and plan, I would be already be gone. I think you are good to go, especially if you have the padding in the Budget. Life is too short. You have done very well!

+1

Retire right now unless you LOVE your job more than your family & life

 

[WhenIsItTime]

It is only a touch "bitter" for me when others are surprised by my decision and the ability to do so. Quickly reveals those who really haven't planned for retirement. Can be awkward. Most everything else is pretty "sweet"!

 

[Gumby]

So ... a person previously managing a large staff with a $100M+ budget will be satisfied puttering around in the garden? ...

At some point, you have to let that go or you will never be happy. No matter how much of a big wheel you were, now you're just another old guy. If you just can't let go of the power and glory, you should work until you drop.

 

[WhenIsItTime]

When you are on your death bed, do you think you will wish you worked more?

A question about whether I picked the right time to FIRE pops in my head frequently, but is just as quickly dismissed. The one thing you can't buy is more time. If you have a choice in how you use time (financial independence helps!), where do you want to spend it? For some people, that will be working. I feel sorry for them even if they say they enjoy working. The world has so much more to offer.

 

[audreyh1]

This is my first year of FIRE and I just did not feel like gardening. Last year I built a greenhouse and 2 raised garden beds but just did not have the motivation to do anything with them. I still have the seeds I have bought but never did anything with them. Kept telling myself "I'll do it tomorrow" but never did. Enjoyed gardening before FIRE and wondering if it will come back. I can't figure it out.

I had hobbies that I enthusiastically did before retiring (with little time available), but lost interest after retiring. I eventually attributed it to stress relief - I needed a lot of it while working, but didn't need nearly as much when I retired. So quite a few of my hobbies changed. Plus I had a lot more time, so was able to get more involved in things.

 

[tb001]

At some point, you have to let that go or you will never be happy. No matter how much of a big wheel you were, now you're just another old guy. If you just can't let go of the power and glory, you should work until you drop.

Very wise words. My step father is 93 and very unhappy, in a way that seems common to many older men I’ve known. The root of his unhappiness, imo, is the inability to achieve/accomplish what he once did and the frustration that his ‘wisdom/advice’ is no longer appreciated and tended to. He’s now just another old guy with lots of unwanted opinions. Behaviors and ways of thinking that were tolerated because he was in a position of power in his career are now at best greeted with an eye roll. It’s very sad to see the effect it’s had on him, but he drives even the most well intentioned of us crazy!

 

[Dtail]

At some point, you have to let that go or you will never be happy. No matter how much of a big wheel you were, now you're just another old guy. If you just can't let go of the power and glory, you should work until you drop.

Indeed.
Had a staff of 75 folks and lots of responsibility. Don't miss it one bit now and purposely have not stayed in contact with any former colleagues.

 

[second_act_at_42]

Indeed.
Had a staff of 75 folks and lots of responsibility. Don't miss it one bit now and purposely have not stayed in contact with any former colleagues.

That is definitely relatable and something I think about a lot. I'm curious - did you have an open dialogue about RE with your management well in advance of your FIRE date? Or was it more of a 2-week sort of scenario?

 

[Rianne]

Wow - thank you so much everyone! Talk about a warm welcome to a new community. I honestly only expected a few folks to take the time to read the post - let alone spend the time replying. Much appreciated!

There are many many fantastic bits of advice and nuggets of wisdom here. Retiring "to" something rather than "away" from really resonates. But in my vision (which does feel akin to the first day of summer break!) it becomes a choose your own adventure novel to start. My DW and I are pretty sure we will both find work in the future - but not certain in what form. Maybe teaching or maybe just taking care of a larger property and tending a garden properly instead of part-timing it. Spending time to "be there" for my DW and son is also a priority. My w#rk schedule currently doesn't allow for the time I'd prefer to spend - or perhaps more accurately - the "quality" of time.

Will read through your thoughtful comments in more detail and send some replies. Thanks again!

PS - what a relief to actually put our plan out there and get feedback from like-minded folks. Phew!

You'll probably get 20 pages on this one. We love to talk about our successes.

 

[ExFlyBoy5]

Very wise words. My step father is 93 and very unhappy, in a way that seems common to many older men I’ve known. The root of his unhappiness, imo, is the inability to achieve/accomplish what he once did and the frustration that his ‘wisdom/advice’ is no longer appreciated and tended to. He’s now just another old guy with lots of unwanted opinions. Behaviors and ways of thinking that were tolerated because he was in a position of power in his career are now at best greeted with an eye roll. It’s very sad to see the effect it’s had on him, but he drives even the most well intentioned of us crazy!

My Dad had this "issue" as well. It wasn't terribly bad, but he was one of the smartest men I have ever known and while in his later years he couldn't do much physically, he still could walk you through fixing almost ANYTHING that you could think of. There are a lot of "jack of all trades but master of none" but my Dad was truly a master of many, many things. While I knew this, and solicited his help/opinion up until the end about a lot of things...most other people just looked at him like a decrepit old man that was useless to society. It's a sad tale, but one a lot of us will experience as we age.

 

[rt-texas]

Originally planned to retire at 55 but kept going till 57.5 because the money was so good from one particular client.

Even if I hadn't retired, I basically would have because of Covid. I worked in entertainment/show industry, it's decimated.

Wished we would have done it sooner; original plan was to travel for two or three years and then pick somewhere to settle down. We currently are "settled" in Costa Rica because of all this. Not a bad place, but all the nature, parks and beaches we came for have been limited because of the lock downs and restrictions. But my Spanish is improving.

You never know what can/will happen, in or out of your control. If you have another life you are anxious to live and can afford it, go for it.

 

[Rambler]

It was kind of bittersweet for me. Let me be very clear: I retired at 51, but if I hadn’t, I’d probably be either dead, or much closer to it by now. I had a pretty high stress job, flew way too many red-eyes, and was beginning to struggle with my health...well, for 5 years, I can look back and see a decline that one shouldn’t see from the mid 40s. So, the sweet part is that the stress didn’t kill me. I’d say it took well over a year to fully decompress. The bitter part is that I had been posted overseas for a very long time and I was the top dog for all of Asia for my company for a very long time. I had developed friendships there that are/were difficult to maintain after returning home. Home wasn’t really home either, because I hadn’t lived there for so long that there were no friend left there either.

The good news is that I had a lot of things to do to occupy my time and give me satisfaction during the first 5 years. Then we decided we needed to move to a new state, to a smaller property. My property was what had kept me busy and excited each day. Now I don’t have the kind of engagement that I had, both due to the smaller and less time consuming property, as well as the recent COVID issues.

If there was any advice I could give you, it would be to make sure 1) you’re on the same page with your partner, 2) you retire to something that will keep your mind (and maybe your body) engaged...some kind of passion. If you don’t have those two things, you’ll be setting yourself up for disappointment in the longer term. Make no mistake, I like very much being able to wake up in the morning and decide what I’m going to do that day...but what to do when there’s nothing left on the list (or your partner doesn’t want to do those things with you and will resent you doing them if you do them without him/her). I did need to get out of th height stress environment, but it may have been better for me to find a new job/new career within the first year, than waiting as long as I have to discover that I need something to do.

 

[daylatedollarshort]

Neither of us have any bittersweet feelings. We both really like being retired.