Young Dreamer seeking FIRE

[Aaron]

Hello everyone

I’ve been meaning to post my profile for close to two years (has it been that long), after hanging out and reading most of the posts on the board…so here it goes:

I fall into the young dreamer category and just recently turned 30 years old.  My job is more or less a database admin.  I really enjoy the technical parts of the job, however I don’t like all the office politics and other stuff that comes with the job (and obviously, I'd prefer to be doing something else other than working).  I’m married with DW in school studying IT, so that will really help out the FI progress when she graduates and starts working.

When I first found this site, it really opened my eyes and made me pay attention to financial things I was putting off.  I think the information here is great, and very helpful.  I read the 4 pillars a while back, which was great, but this board had basically already given me the summarized version. 

It seems to me one of the most important factors that influences FIRE is having a spouse that is in agreement with the plan and LBYM lifestyle.  I was called “cheap” a few times when we first got married, but we’re both on the same page now and DW balances me out if I’m getting too extreme.

Something I’m struggling with is watching family members spend too much, get into credit card debt, not saving for even a basic retirement, etc.  I know it’s been discussed here before, but it’s hard to watch this process, and even worries me many times.  When you achieve FIRE, is it hard to watch siblings/parents that are working & struggling and have no end in sight?

I’ll wrap this up, but I look forward to posting and offering any info that I have.   

Aaron

PS:  With so many people changing names lately, it’s sometimes hard to keep track of everyone.  A long time ago there used to be a guy named TH that posted a lot…I wonder what ever happened to him…    (this is a joke attempt)

 

[Nords]

Welcome to the board, Aaron, you sound like you guys are on track.

Family, relatives, friends: we can ask for their love & support but probably not for their understanding.

You'll be living the example but evangelical proselytizing has met with limited success in the ER world. Best you can hope for is that they learn a little from your example-- or at least tolerate it.

 

[Martha]

Something I’m struggling with is watching family members spend too much, get into credit card debt, not saving for even a basic retirement, etc. I know it’s been discussed here before, but it’s hard to watch this process, and even worries me many times. When you achieve FIRE, is it hard to watch siblings/parents that are working & struggling and have no end in sight?

Welcome Aaron.

My DH and I have much more than our siblings and some of my siblings likely will have a very hard time retiring. They are far from spendthrifts--they just don't make much money and have some really tough life issues. We help them out with emergencies. The needs and potential needs of my extended family is one of the most significant factors that has delayed my decision to fully retire. Needs of others is a tough issue that everyone has to resolve for themselves.

 

[cute fuzzy bunny]

With so many people changing names lately, it’s sometimes hard to keep track of everyone. A long time ago there used to be a guy named TH that posted a lot…I wonder what ever happened to him… (this is a joke attempt)

He sucked. We got rid of him. Lamer probably went back to work.

 

[kaudrey]

Hi Aaron,

I plan to FIRE at 52, I'm 37 right now. I understand your concern for others - for my family it's my mother's sister, who is like that.

Her and her second husband are still working (my aunt is almost 70, her husband is somewhere in his 60s). They have never made a lot of money. They could live comfortably (in upstate NY) if they didn't spend so much on new computers, stereo equipment, and other gadgets. Their house is cluttered with stuff. My parents, who retired 10 years ago at 57, have given them $20,000 in the last two years to help them out.

It's kind of sad to me. My parents and my other aunt/uncle all retired young (not rich, but not worried either), but this one aunt/uncle pair just don't seem to get it. In a way, my parents are enabling them by giving them money, but my mom just says "she's my sister, and we don't need it". I understand, and I'd probably do the same thing, but it's still a hard situation.

 

[Ed_The_Gypsy]

It seems to me one of the most important factors that influences FIRE is having a spouse that is in agreement with the plan and LBYM lifestyle.

You got it, dude.

 

[Aaron]

Thanks Ed & everyone else

Quick story that reminds me how lucky I am with my DW:

I remember a former co-worker and when he proposed to his wife, she wasn’t happy with the ring he picked out and demanded an “upgrade” of the diamond and of course also had to have platinum plus the other bells and whistles, while he had the $99 special for his ring. 

I eventually saw the ring from across the room one time, and it was ridiculously large.  He was still paying on it a couple years later. 

Aaron