10-Year Difference in Ages

TromboneAl

TromboneAl

Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
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Jun 30, 2006
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22-year-old DD called to announce that she now has a boyfriend. This is significant, because in the past, this isn't something she'd usually share with us. We'd just find out.

The interesting thing is that he is 32, a major in the army, and has served in Iraq and Afghanistan!

Of course they've only known each other for a month, and who knows how long it will last, but I'm wondering if there are any challenges involved in a difference like this. I'm not worried, since Jenny has good sense.

Are any of you significantly older/younger than your spouse?
 
TromboneAl said:
22-year-old DD called to announce that she now has a boyfriend. This is significant, because in the past, this isn't something she'd usually share with us. We'd just find out.

The interesting thing is that he is 32, a major in the army, and has served in Iraq and Afghanistan!

Of course they've only known each other for a month, and who knows how long it will last, but I'm wondering if there are any challenges involved in a difference like this. I'm not worried, since Jenny has good sense.

Are any of you significantly older/younger than your spouse?
Click to expand...

Spouse was little bit older.
Have had relationships where he was ~10 - 15 years younger.
 
TromboneAl said:
The interesting thing is that he is 32, a major in the army, and has served in Iraq and Afghanistan!
Are any of you significantly older/younger than your spouse?
Click to expand...
As my spouse (13 months younger) never fails to point out, there's a huge difference between age & maturity.

The irony is that while he may feel he's dating someone who's quite mature for her age, his battle buddies are slapping him on the back and smirking "You go, dude!! Does she have a friend?!?"

If he doesn't already surf, the good news is that he probably has sufficient upper-body strength to do well on his first surfing lesson-- no matter how big the waves or how cold the water...
 
My wife was younger but not this much. However this guy is likely so far ahead of the typical 22 year old man that that your daughter might feel that she has finally stopped dealing with boys and graduated to a man.

She might have told you because she recognizes that this is something different for her.

Ha
 
Al, everything you've ever posted about your DD indicates she is more mature than a lot of people her age--she's probably not into the typical bar-hopping 22 y/o men she runs into.
 
I don't think age matters so much as wanting the same things at the same time in life. I have no experience in this regard as my husband was only a year older than I. My parents were ten years apart in age (she was 26 and he 36 when they met and married). They shared a lot of things in common such as growing up in the same close-knit town, both from ethnic families, both college educated, both wanted to get married and have a family (neither had been married before). I don't think 10 years is a big age difference, it's not like he is old enough to be her father.
 
Sounds like a catch, to me....at this point, nothing oughta faze him, that's for sure!

If the 2 parties love each other (i.e. care about the other person more than they do about themselves) it will work. If not, then why marry anybody.

A.

TromboneAl said:
The interesting thing is that he is 32, a major in the army, and has served in Iraq and Afghanistan!
Click to expand...
 
WhoDaresWins said:
I don't think age matters so much as wanting the same things at the same time in life. I have no experience in this regard as my husband was only a year older than I. My parents were ten years apart in age (she was 26 and he 36 when they met and married). They shared a lot of things in common such as growing up in the same close-knit town, both from ethnic families, both college educated, both wanted to get married and have a family (neither had been married before). I don't think 10 years is a big age difference, it's not like he is old enough to be her father.
Click to expand...

I agree. DW is 5 years older than me (she would point out it is only 4.5, but since it is the time of year when you subtract my age from her's, you get 5, I go with that). I like to reminder her once in a while, but not too much for it to get old. nothing sucks more than having a good joke that you used one too many times. anyways, we seem to be fine and happy. but, we are pretty well aligned on life and goals and i think that is important. we were both ready to settle down when we met, we both want the same thing out of life and there hasn't ever been an argument about any long-term goals. how to achieve the goals maybe, but for the most part, not on what the goals are. i wouldn't worry. what would you say anyways?
 
Not to worry....my DW is 16 years younger and while the scuttlebutt at the time we were married included pregnancy, cradle theft and "it will NEVER last" comments....we recently celebrated 20 years of being HAPPILY married...of course, it was our 22nd anniversary, so it there seems there might have been a bump or two :blush: :whistle: ....badadump....

It has worked very well for us....and while we should not be the tool to measure all multi-year age difference marriages by....it is easy for us to look around and see many others who "should only be so lucky!"
:LOL:
 
My late husband was twelve years older and it never really mattered . Age unless it's a huge gap is usually a non issue . Your daughter is young this could be the one or one more boyfriend .
 
Sounds like the SIL of your dreams.
1. Put some fear into those loud neighbors.
2. No shady mechanic is gonna shaft a battle hardened major.
3. Can probably teach you some great camping techniques.

Time to celebrate the daughter's good sense.
 
Welcome to the board, Major Pie Floater (or whatever your real name is).

This is very suspicious.:)
 
There is a 10 year difference between my husband and I. I was also age 22 when I met him. He was also Active Duty. Best decision I made in my life.
 
T-Al, I met DH when I was 18 and he was 26. It was rather scandalous at the time, but since our years dating and married now total 21, it is less an issue. While that age difference is less than your daughter's boyfriend, I would concur with the consensus that she is looking for a more mature model than what is typically available in the under-25 range.

Good for her!
 
Hey, I was married by 23 (by a month). DW is the same age as I, but if the two of them click I do not think it matters.
 
I am 13 years younger than dear hubby. We are an IR couple so the age thing is the least of our differences. We come from different cultures, experiences and world views. For us it begins with respecting those differences and embracing them. In the beginning we never made an assumption about what the other person meant when a statement we did not quite understand was made. We would stop the conversation at that point and clarify things. Saved a lot of grief. Now we finish each others sentences. We have been together 12 years and still happy.
 
DH is only 2.5 years older than me so I can't really relate. However, I have to agree with the other posters that these days, most men in their early twenties are very immature.

My only word of caution to your DD is to make sure that she and her boyfriend are on the same page regarding what they want from this relationship long-term, etc. In my extended family, there have been a few marriages where the man has been 10+ years older and 1) either the marriage lasted only for the sake of the children (and now that the kids are grown up and on their own, both husband and wife have grown apart and are pretty much living in the same house but separate lives); or 2) the wife felt pressured to have kids right away because the husband was pushing 40, etc. Three kids later and the wife wants a divorce because she felt she was cheated out of her youth, etc. While her friends were living the single life and establishing careers, dating, etc., she had three kids before she was 30 and resented the husband. Did not end well....

Just my two cents :whistle:
 
Just had a niece do the same thing.... but they got married a few months ago.... so no long term info on that...


My sister was 16 when she met her DH... he was separated with two kids and 22... both are retiring this year... sis is 54 and he 60... had two kids of their own...

My wife is 11 years younger... a few bumps in the road at the beginning, but things have worked themselves out.... been married two years... for me, first marriage so that could be some of the problems :blush:
 
Sounds like a hunk to me!

Brother has finally married his girlfriend of long standing. He is 12 years her senior. They've decided to start a family.

Audrey
 
My parents were 12 years apart, married when my Mom was 19, Dad 31. They stayed married for 42 years until the passing of my Dad. They had a wonderful marriage.
 
I have always dated older men so I understand her point of view. BUT,,,, Married one 13 years older after knowing him for 6 months....bad idea He rushed me into marriage because he was afraid I might change my mind...duh..... Make sure they spend plenty of time before making any long term decisions. Dated a Vietnam Veteran very early on and broke it off about 6 months into the relationship. Didn't know what PTSD was at the time but know now that he had it bad. Again, don't rush. Finally this time I married a man 9 years older than me. Best decision I ever made. We have been together 21 years now but only married for 4. Made really sure that I knew this one!
YMMV

2fer
 
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