Annoying MegaCorp people !!!!!

[MRG]

The harrassers:

You know, those guys or gals that take things way beyond comfortable, or legal. They're tough to get rid of, you need some proof from sometimes unwilling witnesses.

I had one I had to get rid of. He was harassing one of the women who w*rked for me. HR was useless, the gal was upset about a poem he'd written and sent to her. The HR lady said it was pretty! OMG!

I wrote him up about his time management. Specifically time away from his desk, he was to inform me in any means available if he was not in the work area. The guy wasn't too bright, he went around Megacorp asking other employees to write nice things about him. He sent them to me with the explanation he'd walked around to get them.

Good for you, but you didn't let me know you weren't in your work area. You're fired.

I was pleased when they started to RIF people. The harrassers were first to go.

[Nomoresnow]

The Den Mother ... every company has one. A sweet, middle-aged busy body who knows everything from who ordered the cheese queso at lunch last week, to the boss' pin number: and everything in between. Often considered truly indispensable, she is the one go-to person who has an answer for everything, and knows everyone's business.

[JoeWras]

The ER Slacker.

Reads ER forum instead of working.

[travelover]

Quote:

Originally Posted by bingybear It would be helpful if you identified which category you're in when you put everyone else in their categories.

Quote:

Originally Posted by JoeWras The ER Slacker. Reads ER forum instead of working.

Guilty. This was me between when I got my early out package confirmed and the last day of work.

[FreeBear]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Souschef I had someone trying to make popcorn by putting the kernels in a metal pan and putting it inside a paper bag. Well the paper caught fire and melted the microwave.

Wow! I hope this guy wasn't from engineering!

[FreeBear]

Quote:

Originally Posted by robnplunder Psychopaths - those who do anything to get ahead at the expense of peers, underlings, and any others who they can exploit. E.g, Sauron. Megalomaniacs - those who thing they are bigger than their position they hold. Often, they also happen to be psychopaths. E.g, Saruman. Kissing machines - those who do anything and everything to please their boss or other influential types for a scrap. Wormtongue. Survivors - those who just can't be laid off, fired, or quit.

Wow! This cuts close, maybe too close, to my old w*rk "home".

These were a distinct minority in the company, but they did damage disproportionate to their numbers since they all occupied elevated or key functional positions.

I was a very unhappy camper. I've been FIRE'd three years and I'm still coming to terms with how miserable I was back then. I just soldiered onward, avoiding facing the depth of my unhappiness.

Now, from the safety of FIRE, I'm still decompressing and w*rking through the emotional wreckage. I'm glad the sun is now shining and I'm in a good place.

[target2019]

And then there is Learing Lecherous Lothario. He is a rare breed, God's gift to women.

Lothario could not stop pestering women in the office at megacorp. Somehow he avoided harassment charge left over from his days as a contractor, and made it to employee status. Got so bad in his first working group, that women openly mocked him, driving him to another group. It actually got worse in the second group.

In the second group setting, he managed to exercise his right to use racism and sexism to drive wedges between many individuals. Very odd situation, and I got pulled into it. HR began interviewing people in the office, and it took several weeks. Eventually he received a few days of training at local HR office, so it was a reward to him.

Early on, he managed to convince a woman in another group that they should marry. As years went on, it was interesting to watch, to see when she would figure out that he was cheating as much as possible. I observed this behavior on company trips. Yes, wife figured it out, eventually.

He now works somewhere in the south for same megacorp, I've heard. He has special employment status which benefits the company.

This thread is one of the more entertaining ones to come along. Now, off to work and experience many of those named in other posts.

[CaptTom]

I'm quite sure we had all these behaviors at one time or another at MegaCorp. But I never felt any of them were bad enough to dread going in to the office. I guess overall my co-w*rkers were a pretty good bunch, even if we had some idiosyncrasies.

I suppose the real reason I RE'd was because I could. Secondary to that was the ever-tightening claw of upper-level management, squeezing every nickle and unpaid hour they could out of the employees. That was the real travesty, not the petty antics of the employees.

[GalaxyBoy]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Carpediem And there is also "My Microwave Mike" who puts his lunch in the microwave for 2 minutes and then disappears for 5-10 minutes leaving co-workers waiting for the micro to wonder if they should remove his lunch from the microwave.

Oh, I never hesitated! Sometimes I WAS that guy, having gotten kidnapped by that fellow who likes to have impromptu meetings in the hall. I always wondered why anyone would stand and stare at my hot lunch.

[38Chevy454]

Thought of another one, the Smoke Breaker. This person is always on a smoke break, can hardly be found at any time needed. Even though smoking is not allowed int he office, the person's desk and cubicle area smell like an ashtray anyway.

[brucethebroker]

Stampede Stan. Look out! Stampede Sam and his band are watching the clock tick down to 4:29: PM, THEN WHAM!! Mad dash to the elevators! Stand back, or be trampled!

[CitizenK]

The Wrench Thrower is the manager who despite many pleas along the way, won’t pay attention to any details of a project brought to his attention. Then just before the deadline, he reappears to “express his concerns” and request changes hours before the presentation.

[ExFlyBoy5]

Quote:

Originally Posted by brucethebroker Stampede Stan. Look out! Stampede Sam and his band are watching the clock tick down to 4:29: PM, THEN WHAM!! Mad dash to the elevators! Stand back, or be trampled!

I was very much guilty of this. No way I was hanging around there...if I didn't have to be there, I wasn't.

[travelover]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ExFlyBoy5 I was very much guilty of this. No way I was hanging around there...if I didn't have to be there, I wasn't.

True. A lot of the people hanging around were just looking for face time Brownie points. I used to have a manager that made the rounds at 4:45 to see who his good boys were. By 5:00, most had fled.

[Mdlerth]

Gaseous Clay, the crop duster. Snacks on junk food continuously throughout the day; about every 30 minutes he gets up and wanders around the sweatshop emitting nether coughs as he passes by co-workers at their stations. Some of us never made it out of adolescence.

Someday I'm gonna write a book about this guy.

[ExFlyBoy5]

Quote:

Originally Posted by travelover True. A lot of the people hanging around were just looking for face time Brownie points. I used to have a manager that made the rounds at 4:45 to see who his good boys were. By 5:00, most had fled.

Oh yes...the "good boys". I can say that I was never one of those dudes.

As a matter of fact, on occasion, I would leave extra keys and a hat on my desk to give the impression that I was "still around", when in fact I had left much earlier. Was I a scammer or slacker? Maybe just a little...

[ExFlyBoy5]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mdlerth Gaseous Clay, the crop duster. Snacks on junk food continuously throughout the day; about every 30 minutes he gets up and wanders around the sweatshop emitting nether coughs as he passes by co-workers at their stations. Some of us never made it out of adolescence. Someday I'm gonna write a book about this guy.

We had more than a few of them. I never could tell the difference between the Cropduster Clay and Click and Drag Doug, though. I assume they are brothers and equally nasty.

[JoeWras]

This thread mostly made me angry, because it hit home since I'm still w*rking. But now that I've calmed down, I want to join the fun.

Refrigerator Rita, doesn't have a lunch tote, no, has a lunch storage container. Also goes to the grocery store on the way to work and puts 4 bags of groceries in the fridge. Everyone else is left stuffing their meager lunches in the cracks.

[braumeister]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mdlerth emitting nether coughs

Never heard that phrase before. Uncomfortably descriptive!

[PatrickA5]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ExFlyBoy5 Oh yes...the "good boys". I can say that I was never one of those dudes. As a matter of fact, on occasion, I would leave extra keys and a hat on my desk to give the impression that I was "still around", when in fact I had left much earlier. Was I a scammer or slacker? Maybe just a little...

I tried not to work late that often, but when I did I always tried to see who was leaving exactly 1 minute after the bosses. Always the same people that got to work 5 minutes before the boss and tried to say they'd been there for hours. On the very few Saturdays I allowed myself to work, they were always there sending out their emails to let the bosses know they were there on Saturday.