Are we creating "weak men"?

[Gumby]

The young wife and I have no children, and it is likely that I will predecease her, so this all may be moot. But, if it were my choice alone, I think I would give all my money to my oldest nephew, who also has no children. To my thinking, there should always be one rich person in the family to follow in my footsteps and be the emergency funder of last resort when family members fall into difficulty (which they often do). If I give it to any of my nephews with children, they will split it up among those children and dissipate it. It is, of course, not legally enforceable at all, but I would suggest that my favored nephew also exercise similar discretion in growing and eventually passing it on. In my dreams, I see a long line of childless uncles working to grow the family fortune. Ultimately, my goal is that someone down the family line will have sufficient funds to make a real difference in this world.

[GreenEggs]

At the rate things are going with the climate & pollution I have to wonder how much it will cost for future generations to survive. How much will food, water, and housing cost in 50 more years?

I'm not sure we really need to worry about whether we leave a lot of $$$ to our kids or not, considering the environment that they're inheriting.

[audreyh1]

Quote:

Originally Posted by UnrealizedPotential But then where would the money end up if not to the kids? I remember one time someone told me their grandfather set it up so his grandchildren wouldn't get any of his money until they reached the age of 60. He didn't feel they would be responsible enough until such time. I don't know. Each of us has to make that decision or it will be made for us.

I think he just means that he plans to spend most of it rather than passing a lot on when he dies.

[Markola]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gumby The young wife and I have no children, and it is likely that I will predecease her, so this all may be moot. But, if it were my choice alone, I think I would give all my money to my oldest nephew, who also has no children. To my thinking, there should always be one rich person in the family to follow in my footsteps and be the emergency funder of last resort when family members fall into difficulty (which they often do). If I give it to any of my nephews with children, they will split it up among those children and dissipate it. It is, of course, not legally enforceable at all, but I would suggest that my favored nephew also exercise similar discretion in growing and eventually passing it on. In my dreams, I see a long line of childless uncles working to grow the family fortune. Ultimately, my goal is that someone down the family line will have sufficient funds to make a real difference in this world.

That’s how they preserved wealth in feudal times - the oldest son, usually, got the manor house and lands and all of the children were married off as strategically as possible to grow the family fortune through a series of mergers and acquisitions. The Church protected, and still does, it’s massive wealth by not allowing marriage or (legitimate) children in the first place.

[youbet]

^^^^^

Yes indeed. This is how it is done.

Today business owners and farmers face the same kind of problem. If you have several kids, the business/farm may not be large enough to divide and still survive.

[Live Free]

I plan on leaving all my $$$ to my kids. I worked for my money, saved it for my use, and if there are left overs I hope it will give them and their offspring a life-boost. I feel fine about it and don't think it will turn them into weaklings. They studied hard in college, work FT at difficult jobs, are trying to get ahead, and are saving for their own retirement. I guess I might feel differently if they seem entitled and were lazy. They aren't any of that. They are great people and I like them a lot.

I currently serve on a Board that gives out grants and scholarships to deserving young people graduating from both HS and undergrad (heading to grad school). Most of these scholarships are for those going into the sciences. We review TONS of applications. You would not believe how accomplished these young people are. They are WAY more motivated and industrious than I ever was in HS or college. When I hear older generations despair about today's youth, I wish they could see the hundreds of resumes and portfolios I see each year. The computer age has allowed the younger generations to have access to so much more information and research than we had in the microfiche/card catalog/library days and it has unleashed their imaginations and they have incredible research goals. Fear not! These kids will be just fine.

[Winemaker]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Markola That’s how they preserved wealth in feudal times - the oldest son, usually, got the manor house and lands and all of the children were married off as strategically as possible to grow the family fortune through a series of mergers and acquisitions. The Church protected, and still does, it’s massive wealth by not allowing marriage or (legitimate) children in the first place.

Even the poor folk carried on the custom into the 1900's, but it came with the stipulation that the first born son took care of the aging parents. If the firstborn left for America, the 2nd oldest son got the property.

But don't forget the husband's family got a dowry for every daughter.

https://www.jstor.org/stable/3773353

[tmm99]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Live Free I currently serve on a Board that gives out grants and scholarships to deserving young people graduating from both HS and undergrad (heading to grad school). Most of these scholarships are for those going into the sciences. We review TONS of applications. You would not believe how accomplished these young people are. They are WAY more motivated and industrious than I ever was in HS or college. When I hear older generations despair about today's youth, I wish they could see the hundreds of resumes and portfolios I see each year. The computer age has allowed the younger generations to have access to so much more information and research than we had in the microfiche/card catalog/library days and it has unleashed their imaginations and they have incredible research goals. Fear not! These kids will be just fine.

I don't mean to discredit what you're saying, but those kids you mention are the cream of the crop. Those are the ones with drives and ambitions. Being raised in the Internet age helped them tremendously, no doubt. The advancement in technologies probably also helped many kids be stuck playing video games all day too. Those are the ones I'm worried about.

[Amethyst]

Live Free, I felt the same way about the young people I interviewed or supervised during my last 15 years of w*rk. Besides having all kinds of confidence and smarts compared with me at that age, they were maxing their TSP contributions, and discussing financial independence on the internal intranet!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Live Free I plan on leaving all my $$$ to my kids. I worked for my money, saved it for my use, and if there are left overs I hope it will give them and their offspring a life-boost. I feel fine about it and don't think it will turn them into weaklings. They studied hard in college, work FT at difficult jobs, are trying to get ahead, and are saving for their own retirement. I guess I might feel differently if they seem entitled and were lazy. They aren't any of that. They are great people and I like them a lot. You would not believe how accomplished these young people are. They are WAY more motivated and industrious than I ever was in HS or college. When I hear older generations despair about today's youth, I wish they could see the hundreds of resumes and portfolios I see each year...Fear not! These kids will be just fine.

[Markola]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Amethyst Live Free, I felt the same way about the young people I interviewed or supervised during my last 15 years of w*rk. Besides having all kinds of confidence and smarts compared with me at that age, they were maxing their TSP contributions, and discussing financial independence on the internal intranet!

100%. I hired lots of Millennials and was consistently impressed with their drive and smarts. Count me as a fan.

[Chuckanut]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Winemaker Even the poor folk carried on the custom into the 1900's, but it came with the stipulation that the first born son took care of the aging parents. If the firstborn left for America, the 2nd oldest son got the property. But don't forget the husband's family got a dowry for every daughter. https://www.jstor.org/stable/3773353

2nd sons had issues in Olde England. The UK folks can correct me if I am wrong, but one of the reasons the English conquered acquired foreign lands was to be able to provide 2nd and 3rd sons of nobility a chance to own some property and be a proper "His Lordship". Serve in the Army or Navy or perform some other public service and get a 1000 acres in Ireland. To heck with the natives. After all, they didn't have a flag.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uEx5G-GOS1k

[audreyh1]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chuckanut 2nd sons had issues in Olde England. The UK folks can correct me if I am wrong, but one of the reasons the English conquered acquired foreign lands was to be able to provide 2nd and 3rd sons of nobility a chance to own some property and be a proper "His Lordship". Serve in the Army or Navy or perform some other public service and get a 1000 acres in Ireland. To heck with the natives. After all, they didn't have a flag. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uEx5G-GOS1k

Honestly, I think colonization was all about the extremely valuable trade and foreign markets for British goods. 2nd and 3rd sons could be sent to the military and church. Some colonies were for (punitive) transportation, and indentured servitude for poorer folks in the colonies was also practiced.

[RetiredAt55.5]

Shouldn't the OP's post title be "Are we creating weak men/women"?

No need to exclude half the population.

[Chuckanut]

Back on topic, I look at the young folks who work for companies like SpaceX, the medical tech outfits, and more, and I see a lot of great people. I don't worry about that at all.

The real issue, IMHO, is school system's outright War On Boys that takes place in the schools. As a former teacher I could tell you tales about double standards and other not-so-good things.

[ProspectiveBum]

I have 2 school age kids, and between them and their friends, I see the full spectrum of motivation, from “I only want to play video games” to “I plan to be a neurosurgeon”. There have been ants and grasshoppers since Aesop’s time. Same as it ever was.

[pb4uski]

I think it depends. When I look at our kids, DD/DSIL have way more saved at their age then we did and will not need to rely on any inheritance from us even though they will got one.

Similar for DS... any inheritance he receives will be helpful, but he is doing well principally because he is extreme LBYM and is willing to live in an inexpensive apartment.

My bigger concern with future generations is whether they will know which end of a screwdriver or hammer to use.... DSIL is very good on that score... DD is ok, DS has little interest in using tools. But then again, I have two uncles who if you asked them to fetch a screwdriver out of the toolbox who knows what they would bring you.

[Amethyst]

Not a problem. We responders have been treating "men" as a species designation, which includes both sexes.

Quote:

Originally Posted by RetiredAt55.5 Shouldn't the OP's post title be "Are we creating weak men/women"? No need to exclude half the population.

[Amethyst]

I was that way, until home ownership set in. Necessity is learning's mama.

Quote:

Originally Posted by pb4uski My bigger concern with future generations is whether they will know which end of a screwdriver or hammer to use... I have two uncles who if you asked them to fetch a screwdriver out of the toolbox who knows what they would bring you.

[unclemick]

Quote:

Originally Posted by braumeister I can see the four Yorkshiremen showing up here soon.

I love that one!



As a U Tube junkie I read some Jonathan Haidt about ? 'fragile kids' and also Tony Seba.

'Cars? cars? We don't need not stinking cars'!

Heh heh heh - The current generation will adapt and do fine. Got rid of my 'love beads' and tore up my leisure suit picture.

[Katsmeow]

Weak men? Are the women not adversely affected by these things? Or, is it the assumption that women are already weak? Not sure why the concern is only about men and not about all children.

On the actual issue I did worry about it. I grew up in a working class family. My parents were frugal and good savers so we had more money available for us than many of our neighbors and friends. Still, I worried when my kids were raised in a very different environment and also knew many people from truly wealthy families. We did live in nicer neighborhoods, went on vacations, and so on. But, we weren't really extravagant in things that we bought. My son commented once that he now realizes that we had more money than some of his friends who had more "things" in their house in terms of expensive furniture, etc.