Christmas Present Rant.

[aaronc879]

Gifts in my family are limited to mainly just cash gifts for the younger generation. Why buy someone something that they don't want or need, just give them cash and they can buy what they want.

 

[Westernskies]

I know I'm going to come off as a Scrooge but I just don't get this whole gift giving.... in this case during Christmas time.

Holiday Greetings to ya...

 

[W2R]

Gifts in my family are limited to mainly just cash gifts for the younger generation. Why buy someone something that they don't want or need, just give them cash and they can buy what they want.

Same here. We are so widespread all over the world, that we have no way of knowing what someone wants or what they already have. A check is always the right size and the right color, needs no extra shipping effort and expense, and never needs to be returned.

 

[target2019]

Reading this thread makes me wonder if the "consumer-driven economic engine" in the US is really dead. OTOH, when you consider the typical mindset of those who post here, maybe there is still hope.

The engine has moved onto the internet track. A successful holiday season usually means economic success for the concerned business in the coming year.

 

[bbbamI]

I know it's the thought that counts but how much thought was put into expired chocolate and I know it was re gifted since the person that gave it to me is allergic to chocolate and was probably last year Christmas gift.

Oh, expired chocolate...that is naughty...

IMO, Christmas is a time for children...a magical time that hopefully will be remembered for many years.

 

[Alan]

Oh, expired chocolate...that is naughty...

IMO, Christmas is a time for children...

slow roasted with candied yams on the side.

 

[bbbamI]

slow roasted with candied yams on the side.

Ahhhh yesss.....

 

[Midpack]

When we were young, DW and I budgeted $600 each to give to each other and all respective family members. In time, and as nieces/nephews etc. grew up, we scaled it back. A few years ago DW and I were down to $50 each for each other, all had to fit in a Christmas stocking.

Finally broke my parents of exchanging gifts, at their age of 87, after years of gifts that we gave away or sold on eBay after a few years in a closet. They eventually just sent money, what is the point of that - neither household is short of cash?

Sister and I exchange gifts to charity.

Now we don't exchange gifts at all, but we treat ourselves to a great dinner out on New Years each year (Jan 1 anniv). And if we want to buy something at Christmas or any time of the year, we just buy it anyway. So gift giving has very little appeal to us finally...

 

[Khan]

We give gifts to teenage children and I love receiving gifts and want to continue even after kids are grown. They don't have to be large gifts just something to show the thought is there. I don't have a need to do gifts much beyond that. Still exchange gifts with my 86 year old mom though.

About a year ago I proposed to DH that he and I not exchange gifts since we can, indeed, just buy what we want and there isn't much surprise there. We had moved from picking out a gift to asking the other what was wanted to, in recent years, gift card to Amazon or Itunes or whatever.

So we went a year with no gifts except a very small token (and filling a Christmas stocking). I found that I hated this. It is true that we can just buy what we want but when DH gives me a gift card to amazon I can just spend that gift card with no care or concern and no impact on the budget. It allows me to buy totally frivolous things that I probably wouldn't buy if I was buying it myself. Yes, I realize that this may seem irrational but that it is. So this year we are back to giving gifts to one another (although we do have a sense of budget there. I know that DH is not -- alas -- going to give me $5000 in gift cards for Amazon).

I don't comprehend this. How does spending money not impact the budget?

I stopped doing gifts and cards for holidays many years ago.

I give much of my annual stuff to charities in December.

Throughout the year I give money or stuff to people or causes if I want to.

If A gives $50 to B and B gives $50 to A, what has been accomplished?

Back in February, I sent a couple $30 for a pizza and tip.

I recall a female coworker mentioning that she had taken her husband to the jewelry store and pointed out what she wanted; I asked her why she didn't just buy it herself if she wanted it that badly.

 

[TromboneAl]

Sometimes a good gift for me is something would be nice, but is too extravagant. Right now I'm wearing a Patagonia long underwear shirt that is remarkably warm and cozy. It cost $49!

Lena got it for me as a present.

But that's a pretty dangerous thing, luckily it worked out.

 

[KM]

Great thread! All this time, I thought we were just odd. We haven't exchanged presents with family for years, but I think that was more because DH was an only child and my family has been more than a little dysfunctional over the years.

When the kids were little - we had a lot of fun at Xmas. I think we enjoyed giving the kids presents as much, if not more, than the kids had getting them. They each got one large present and then a bunch of smaller ones and were always very appreciative of what they got.

But now we are older, kids are grown and it is just the 4 of us. DH and I stopped exchanging presents on Xmas day 2 years ago. Like many of you, we got to the point where we could buy whatever we wanted - even though we are fairly selective on what we buy. So we both come up with something "special" we would like and would not normally buy for ourselves. Then we go out together and buy it.

DS hates Xmas. He struggled with depression for a few years and the holidays were the worst. He almost didn't come over one year, because "he couldn't handle the stress of going out and buying presents". And that made him feel even worse. He was going to stay alone in his apartment all day. We had a long talk about how unimportant presents were and that the only thing we truly wanted or needed was to know he was okay....and we wanted him to be with us. From that year on, we agreed that Xmas would be a day we would spend together - without much fanfare or presents. We do get him some practical items (new sneakers, jeans.....) but we dont wrap anything. We just lay them out by the tree. Last year we talked about that year he almost didnt come over. He said "You were a lifesaver. I simply couldnt cope at that time." That was the best present I could have ever had.

DD lives in another state, so we still buy and wrap presents for her and then go visit her after Xmas. She loves Xmas and I love shopping for her, because she is so easy to shop for....and one of her presents is a mother/daughter shopping trip. We have a lot a fun together. She is very tight with her money and thrilled when I buy her something she wants - but is too cheap to buy for herself.

I agree with my son, there is way too much stress trying to figure out what to get that person who has everything. I hated shopping for my in-laws who had everything and needed nothing. I finally made DH take on that chore. I find more fun shopping for Giving Trees and try to do a few of those each year.

 

[FUEGO]

We have a fairly easy time. If you are 2 degrees of consanguinity from DW or I or less, you get $20 cash. Sometimes in an envelope, sometimes handed over with a handshake and/or hug. Unless we can find something neat for you that you will like or need.

I usually don't give my parents or grandparents any cash, so it is gift or nothing. I know my parents want to pass a small bit of wealth down, not get it back in cash format. And grandma's are the same way - taking money from us would be painful. Lately we have done photo calendars or photo books for parents/grandparents and these are very well received I think. DW is in charge of that, and I think she enjoys making them (all digital).

I don't really know how to succinctly define "the spirit of Christmas" but it surely isn't having a nervous breakdown stressing over all the worthless crap you need to buy to make everyone happy. That is an unattainable goal unless you are an omnipotent, omniscient being.

 

[LOL!]

I'm laughing at My Dream's gifts because anybody who is a self-proclaimed Scrooge is gonna get expired chocolates. It's the perfect gift for a Scrooge. The givers probably went out of their way, "She hates gifts, so let's give her these old chocolates and a mustache trimmer." They are sending you a message. Read it.

 

[Gumby]

The normal distribution in my family is: we send a floral arrangement to each adult couple (my mother and father and each of their spouses, and my brother and sister and each of their spouses). Nephews/great nephews under the age of 13 get three hardcover books. Nephews 13 and older get $50 cash.

For the inlaws: we always buy MIL a specific gift. The adults in our generation (there are 10 of us) exchange names at Thanksgiving so everyone buys one other person a gift. Nephews follow the same rules as above.

The young wife and I usually get each other a token gift or two. I often get her a new pair of pajamas and a little piece of jewelry.

 

[TromboneAl]

We're against getting gifts, but OTOH sometimes at a garage sale we find something that would be perfect for someone. As an example, this homemade lathe-turned bowl and cover was $4:

It's just the kind of thing one of my sisters likes. But it's also just the kind of clutter up the house thing that we would not want to get.

Is that bird's eye maple?

 

[WM]

I'm jealous of those who've been able to stop the extended family gift-giving. I'm happy to get things for kids, but it seems silly among us adults. I think DH and his brother would be up for no gifts, but not sure about SIL. And my MIL enjoys buying things throughout the year. I like the idea mentioned above about a group donation to a charity. I wonder if we adults could do a donation to a charity and limit gifts only to the kids.

 

[calmloki]

Sometimes a good gift for me is something would be nice, but is too extravagant. Right now I'm wearing a Patagonia long underwear shirt that is remarkably warm and cozy. It cost $49!

Lena got it for me as a present.

But that's a pretty dangerous thing, luckily it worked out.

Know what you mean Al - I like quality items, but am offended by new prices - someone bought me a new pair of Levi's one Christmas - it made me crazy because Levi's were way overpriced and I could have bought 8 pair at Goodwill, already broken in, for what they paid. I look for quality items that aren't expected - like nailclippers from Tweezerman. This year my foray into breadmaking had me focusing on breadknives - have used 3-4 and haven't been real pleased - just found an offset blade breadknife with utilitarian white plastic handle at a restaurant supply company. $6 and it is the best breadknife I've ever used. I'll be sharing that find with others - the norm will be confusion and "uhh, thanks?", but at some point, when it gets used, the reason for getting it will be apparent.

And I think that is birdseye maple - very nice find.

 

[REWahoo]

I like quality items, but am offended by new prices - someone bought me a new pair of Levi's one Christmas - it made me crazy because Levi's were way overpriced and I could have bought 8 pair at Goodwill, already broken in, for what they paid.

OT, but when we were in FL a couple of weeks back I checked the price of a basic pair of Levi jeans at the Walmart in Titusville. I was surprised to see they were $14.50 vs. $19.50 at our local Wallyworld. Appeared to be the regular price, not a special sale. I know prices vary by location but the amount of variation (25%) was considerably more than I would have expected.

Yes, I bought two pair...

 

[Fireup2020]

My Amazon-a-holic sister usually drop ships us something that is totally wrong (e.g. tablecloth and matching oven mitts or salad spinner) for us. We've tried to think of a way to make this stop, but have been unsuccessful.

At least Amazon lets you trade it for something that is to your liking - without notifying the gift giver you returned it! (did this with my Kindle - but told Mom I swapped it!)


I pick up things for family members as I travel throughout the year. Mom gets puzzles and windchimes. Dad gets t-shirts & shot glasses. Others(brother, sis, nieces) get appropriate things as well. This has become a tradition. Brought a nice gift set from Seattle (coffee, salmon, etc.) for the whole family to share Thanksgiving/Friday...we still do gift exchanges - but there is no pressure, so it is still fun!

 

[calmloki]

OT, but when we were in FL a couple of weeks back I checked the price of a basic pair of Levi jeans at the Walmart in Titusville. I was surprised to see they were $14.50 vs. $19.50 at our local Wallyworld. Appeared to be the regular price, not a special sale. I know prices vary by location but the amount of variation (25%) was considerably more than I would have expected.

Yes, I bought two pair...

That sounds reasonable - am i hallucinating, or wasn't there a time when a pair of 501s was in the $30+ range? You are talking Levi jeans, not one of the other brand blue pants denim, yes?

Here's Google shopping reporting that you got a heck of a deal: levi 501 jeans - Google Search

 

[HFWR]

That sounds reasonable - am i hallucinating, or wasn't there a time when a pair of 501s was in the $30+ range? You are talking Levi jeans, not one of the other brand blue pants denim, yes?

Here's Google shopping reporting that you got a heck of a deal: levi 501 jeans - Google Search

Buy American! Authentic Texas Jeans Brand Denim Jeans 100% Made In The USA American Jeans

We're against getting gifts, but OTOH sometimes at a garage sale we find something that would be perfect for someone. As an example, this homemade lathe-turned bowl and cover was $4:

It's just the kind of thing one of my sisters likes. But it's also just the kind of clutter up the house thing that we would not want to get.

Is that bird's eye maple?

Looks like a perfect [-]stash box[/-] sewing box.

 

[Amethyst]

I still give, even if the other person can buy anything he or she wants. I try to find the thing that he or she wants, only they didn't know it. I love finding the perfect gift for somebody I care about, and seeing their reaction. My husband still praises the hand-painted bronze duck model that I bought for him in Canada years ago. Even though he isn't a hunter, and has no special interest in ducks, I somehow just knew he'd love it. From time to time, I've "scored" with gifts for other friends or relatives, and it makes me feel great.

The person who gave expired chocolates to MyDream said a lot about themselves, didn't they. Stale chocolate tastes awful and is an evil thing to give! (I say this as an offended chocolate lover).

Amethyst

 

[Amethyst]

Yes, it does look like birds-eye maple, and I could always find more room in my house for it or something like it! One of my girl friends has a terrific "eye" for garage sales, flea markets, etc. She'll say, "I picked this up for you, it was only $5.00, " and it will be something I love!

Amethyst

We're against getting gifts, but OTOH sometimes at a garage sale we find something that would be perfect for someone. As an example, this homemade lathe-turned bowl and cover was $4:

It's just the kind of thing one of my sisters likes. But it's also just the kind of clutter up the house thing that we would not want to get.

Is that bird's eye maple?

 

[REWahoo]

That sounds reasonable - am i hallucinating, or wasn't there a time when a pair of 501s was in the $30+ range? You are talking Levi jeans, not one of the other brand blue pants denim, yes?

Oops. It wasn't Levi's it was Wrangler. Sorry bout that...

However, the $19.50 vs. $14.50 price difference between South Central TX and Central FL is accurate.

 

[Calgary_Girl]

"Extended family" getting gifts? BAHUMBUG!

We never exchanged gifts with "extended" family; only within the immediate family: parents, myself and one sister. Now that sister and I are married with kids of our own, the new rule is we're only allowed to get our parents gifts and gifts for the little ones. It was getting ridiculous for a while since everyone was exchanging money/gift cards and it became known as the "Great Money Exchange" with the net effect being pretty much a wash across the board.

This year, only the grandparents will be given gifts (since they provide loads of babysitting throughout the year at no charge ) and the little ones. Of course, I'll still get DH something and he'll get me something but sister and BIL are out! DH's parents live in a different country and we stopped giving them gifts years ago...just a phone call on Christmas day to wish them a Merry Christmas.

If we had to get gifts for our extended family, we'd be broke every Christmas since my extended family is 30+ people. Love 'em but sometimes wished the grandparents had practiced birth control.....