[-]Quick[/-] update:
Had a vacation that we went on in Feb. Lots of rain in Cali, lots of time to sit and talk. Getting away from the day to day drove us to more "deep" conversations rather than the typical b*tch and moan about work, family, etc conversation traps that we both tend to fall in to. This was one of the longest vacations we have taken in quite some time as we both usually use the "too busy at w*rk, and after 5 days the conversations got a lot deeper, and more serious. You get the gist of it.
We both have had a lot of stressors over the course of our marriage "cycle" I will call it. For her, she has had a long 4-5 years caring for her parents that in the last year or so ended quickly for mom, slowly for Dad. I did what I could (and what she allowed) to help, but it was very difficult for her, and now I think she is very lonely without them.
To try and shorten, she said she knows I have a lot going on and really doesn't didn't want to burden me, her words, with all of it. For my part, maybe I was trying to solve everything. In any event, she agreed and even brought up going to talk to someone. I think she feels she can do that and not unload things to me and of course not have me trying to "fix" things.
I'm encouraged and hopeful, but also a realist. Day by day.
Thanks to all who commented.