DD and Wedding

[48Fire]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pilot2013 DD1's boyfriend got me and DW together about week ago and asked permission to pop the question. Very much a gentleman, and a noble thing to do, although I thought for a minute (OK, maybe a few seconds)about saying "I'm sorry, but I just don't think so..." just to see what he would say. He popped the question last night and they both are very excited. Apparently she didn't have the same thoughts as I did. Now, we live (grew up) in the South, and things are a little different here, just in case some of you didn't know that. The Bride's parents seem to be on tap for all but the Groom's dinner or something like that. All of a sudden, I'm not feeling so Southern any more. We have not had conversation about this with the two of them, or his family, but just wondering what some others have done when faced with DD's weddings. By the way, there is, as is inferred by DD1, a DD2.

As far as I know, family of bride paying is common in the north as well. I just wrote our daughter a check for $20k, and told her to make all of the decisions within that, or keep the change.

[swakyaby]

Although a Californian not southern, it was traditional financial arrangement across 3 weddings in our family.

When my sister married, she and her fiance set their hearts on a very expensive venue, the Hotel Del Coronado on the beaches of San Diego with 150 guests. When my father received the bill at the reception, he later confided that he wanted to vomit. Fiance's family paid for the rehearsal dinner.

When my I married 4 years later, we chose a lovely Japanese owned golf course with incredible asian cuisine for 100 guests. The reception bill was presented to my father again at the reception. He thought it was a very reasonable $12,000 and said he felt "lucky." Fiance's family paid for the rehearsal dinner.

When my brother got married 2 years later, his fiancee's family offered very little toward the wedding (I had the feeling they had very little). So the reception was held in a backyard and modestly catered to a small gathering. I still thought it was lovely and my dear brother the groom looked very happy. However, at the luncheon father suddenly aspirated on a mint and began choking severely. The groom suddenly stood up and solidly thumped him on the back and out shot the mint. I think weddings can be very traumatic for dads.

[NW-Bound]

Quote:

Originally Posted by athena53 Wedding planning can be so stressful that I always think it's a very good sign for the marriage when the couple can work well as a team on it.

Thank you. Glad to hear that, as we never did much planning for our own wedding, which was simple because we were young and poor.

By the way, another reason SIL was broke was that he spent way too much for the ring. He told us proudly what he spent. We believed he was naïve and was taken advantage of, but did not tell him that of course.