Dear Abbey says we need help!

[Car-Guy]

DEAR OUT OF WORK: There are reasons people work besides the financial one. Social stimulation is important, too.

The counseling you're considering should be used to determine why you lack the motivation to continue being a contributing member of society.

I wonder what stay at home moms would think of her comments?

I know for the DW and I, we contribute to society almost everyday by spending money going to restaurants, traveling (cars, gas and motels), going to the movies, etc,etc,etc.

 

[Amethyst]

Once, I almost actually bought a coffee mug (instead of using gift mugs and freebies) because I liked the motto:

"Criticism Cheerfully Ignored"

Amethist

 

[Gumby]

I take solace in serving as a cautionary example for parents of unmotivated teens -- "You better buckle down and start working harder in school, Mister. Do you want to end up like that Gumby guy?"

 

[ls99]

I doubt many kids would mind becoming that Gumby guy

 

[Calico]

Wally in Dilbert, based on a character type well-known to most workplaces, has a full-time paid position with an employer. His contributions to anything at all are quite unclear.

I rest my case.

Wally works three doors down from me. He is my supervisor.

 

[Andre1969]

Interestingly, the letter writer's stats are about where I'd want to be when I retire: Age 50 and being able to live off of about $60K per year if I wanted to spend that much. Last time I ran FireCalc, it gave me about a 95% chance of success.

 

[scrabbler1]

The only time I needed counseling was when I was suffering the early stages of burnout, from working TOO MUCH. Eventually, working less (and, later, not at all) got rid of the burnout. What a horrible response from Abby.

 

[travelover]

.......... What a horrible response from Abby.

Yea, she should really retire, except we all know that she is dead.

 

[NW-Bound]

Yea, she should really retire, except we all know that she is dead.

If a dead person can keep working to give advice in a newspaper column, what excuses does a 50-year-old ER have?

 

[Jack_Pine]

If by "contributing to society" shes means paying taxes and contributing to the greater good by their job..............Most retirees are paying some kind of property tax. Many volunteer and I don't consider my current job at an industrial supplier doing any great thing for society.

 

[MRG]

If a dead person can keep working to give advice in a newspaper column, what excuses does a 50-year-old ER have?

+1

There should be a law preventing the dead from employment!

 

[ER Eddie]

Her comment that people who are retired aren't "contributing members of society" is boneheaded, of course, but I think her suggestion of counseling might be based on other factors, including the fact that he's never been in a relationship at age 50, and his friends are telling him he needs counseling. Sounds like there may be "issues" we're not hearing about.

 

[kcowan]

Asking a counsellor if you need counselling gets a similar outcome as asking a financial advisor if you need financial advice. Duh!

(OTOH a 50 year old virgin could easily get a job in a freak show!)

 

[Amethyst]

NO. I will not ask what the "display" would consist of.

!

(OTOH a 50 year old virgin could easily get a job in a freak show!)

 

[NW-Bound]

NO. I will not ask what the "display" would consist of.

Her comment that people who are retired aren't "contributing members of society" is boneheaded, of course, but I think her suggestion of counseling might be based on other factors, including the fact that he's never been in a relationship at age 50, and his friends are telling him he needs counseling. Sounds like there may be "issues" we're not hearing about.

Again, why is it that people automatically assume that a 50-year-old virgin has to be a male? Do they presume that women are more sexually active or driven than men? I don't get it.

 

[2017ish]

Again, why is it that people automatically assume that a 50-year-old virgin has to be a male? Do they presume that women are more sexually active or driven than men? I don't get it.

It is weird. Maybe just because of the movie that focused on a male as the "[-]fifty[/-] forty-year-old virgin"? If, like me, that title stuck in your head, especially with the wrong age, it would be an easy leap.

 

[haha]

Again, why is it that people automatically assume that a 50-year-old virgin has to be a male? Do they presume that women are more sexually active or driven than men? I don't get it.

No. I think the assumption is that some men may be weird enough that they could never get a woman to go to bed with them. However there is no such creature as a woman that some guy won't take to bed.

Ha

 

[ER Eddie]

Again, why is it that people automatically assume that a 50-year-old virgin has to be a male? Do they presume that women are more sexually active or driven than men? I don't get it.

I didn't think it "had to" be male; it was just a guess based on the tone of the letter. I probably inferred it because he/she said that his friends teased him about being a virgin. That's more of a guy thing -- teasing each other about being a virgin. That sounds more like a man's phrasing, too. It could be a woman, though, I suppose.

 

[razztazz]

Wow! I need to update my retirement budget to include "counseling". This was in yesterday's Houston Chronicle. Kind of interesting that people view early retirees as lacking motivation. I thinks it's the inverse. We were motivated all our working lives to live below our means and save in order to retire early. I still plan to contribute to society when I retire next year at 56. Maybe new friends are in order for "Out of Work in Texas".


DEAR ABBY: I am 50, own my home and am debt-free. I have friends but have never dated anyone. This doesn't bother me, although many of my close friends joke with me about being a "50-year-old virgin."
My problem is, four years ago I lost my job. I have a few investments and a small inheritance that, when combined, give me an income of $60,000 a year. So I don't need more money.
Although I did look for another job for two years, I haven't tried for the past two. I tell my friends I've decided to retire. They keep telling me I need to find a job because I need something to keep me busy. I remind them that I have enough money for everything I need.
Friends have started telling me I may have a "problem" and should think about counseling. I see no need for it, but have decided to get an outside opinion. So, Abby, should I see a counselor about my lack of interest in finding a new job? -- OUT OF WORK IN TEXAS


DEAR OUT OF WORK: There are reasons people work besides the financial one. Social stimulation is important, too. I am glad you have the money to support yourself now, but what if something unplanned or catastrophic happens in the future that jeopardizes your nest egg?
Fifty is young to "retire." The counseling you're considering should be used to determine why you lack the motivation to continue being a contributing member of society. (This may be the "problem" your friends are hinting at.)

Social stimulation is important, too.

Glittering generality and assertion without basis. It was the social stimulation associated with work that made me want to quit

The counseling you're considering should be used to determine why you lack the motivation to continue being a contributing member of society

This one always kills me. "Contributing." The Rich always seem to be unencumbered by this faked-up need to "contribute". They do what they want simply because they can. Nobody can forced them to contribute because they do not need to swap for money. "Need to contribute" is a soft way of telling people they should continue to have work extorted out of them. If they do not comply they need "counselling."

 

[Which Roger]

Although I did look for another job for two years, I haven't tried for the past two. I tell my friends I've decided to retire. They keep telling me I need to find a job because I need something to keep me busy.

I'll play Devil's Advocate. This snippet from the letter makes it sound like the writer was not mentally ready to retire, wanted to get a job, but then just kind of gave up, and now considers him/herself retired, but doesn't really seem too excited about the retirement. He/she could indeed be lost and passing the days sitting in front of the TV with little motivation do make anything out of the retirement.

If any of us had written this letter, it would have sounded much different, with a much more positive tone about the choice to ER. So the writer is different than us, and maybe needs some tough love from Abbey.

 

[HFWR]

Dear Abby holds about the same weight as Judge Judy or Dr. Oz in my book...

 

[MichaelB]

Dear Abby holds about the same weight as Judge Judy or Dr. Oz in my book...

So, you're saying they are "high credibility" sources?

 

[HFWR]

So, you're saying they are "high credibility" sources?

Veritable suppositories of wisdom...

 

[MichaelB]

Veritable suppositories of wisdom...

In that case let's not forget Dr. Phil