Does a Man's Salary Matter?

[Amethyst]

... the poor older guy is not in the running...

..

He would be, if he wanted a poor older woman! I'm sure plenty of such couples exist.

 

[travelover]

My experience on Match.com is nearly 10 years old. Of all the women I dated, almost none had any savings to speak of - even a doctor and a lawyer that I dated briefly were living paycheck to paycheck. Lots of ants looking for a grasshopper out there, as retirement looms.

 

[Purron]

My experience on Match.com is nearly 10 years old. Of all the women I dated, almost none had any savings to speak of - even a doctor and a lawyer that I dated briefly were living paycheck to paycheck. Lots of ants looking for a grasshopper out there, as retirement looms.

Health insurance coverage may be more in demand than a big bank account. A nice retired Federal employee with a pension and health coverage would be desirable I suspect.

 

[travelover]

I guess I should have said grasshoppers looking for an ant.

 

[haha]

My experience on Match.com is nearly 10 years old. Of all the women I dated, almost none had any savings to speak of - even a doctor and a lawyer that I dated briefly were living paycheck to paycheck. Lots of ants looking for a grasshopper out there, as retirement looms.

I have never done any online dating, but my brother did. He said that about every woman he met was very open about being essentially broke, and furthermore that they did not seem to understand the significance of that fact. This was mostly mid-50s single women who had already run through whatever money they took out of marriage, except the house if they got that. And too, the house was often burdened by re-fis during the boom. Most interesting to me is that this refinancing often was not to finance high living, but to respond to children's (including adult children) needs or preceived needs. In other words, often these women were broke because they were nice.

Ha

 

[NW Landlady]

Just for fun, I'm going to take a closer look at this within the profiles on Match.com. There is an optional question about salary, which I smartly did not answer.
I've had over 500 views of my own profile, so I am going to check out the age ranges of the "interested parties". It should prove to be fascinating, Captain.

UPDATE: I did a quick "back of the envelope" count of the number of guys who were looking for a woman more than 5 years younger than they listed themselves as being. No conclusive trend.U

Well, that may be true if the Men are telling the truth...!!

In my 40-somethings I was seeking a new Mate and did have many many dates via the then fledgling Match.com site. As a woman, what I found was interesting. I focused on Men in my area within 45 min drive & if their income level was lower than say 50K a year, I had a hard time relating to their interests & lifestyle & values. Their actual earnings were of no interest to me per se, but somehow how they related to things was a lot different than my own ideals. I really did not wish to be a prude about it, that is just how it played out in my unique situation & I never even ended up on a date with them.

Of those men I actually met in public places for a "date" after a few emails, many of the Men had clearly misstated their age on the website to a much lower # than it actually was (by 10+ years!)

Finally, I had a problem in that I had been very successful business wise & actually had to downplay my income & net worth....Despite what one would want to believe, very difficult to attract a Simpatico Single Mate if right off the bat you overshadow their successes. (BTW, women's dating books cover this issue quite extensively & many woman CEOs & execs have had to follow suit. ) So it would not be unique for a woman to understate her income level on these sites.

I did find Mr. DH & we have been together ever since, but my In-Laws still can't understand how I can live so well on the payroll of a Property Manager for a couple of small Buildings...LOL!

 

[Orchidflower]

My experience on Match.com is nearly 10 years old. Of all the women I dated, almost none had any savings to speak of - even a doctor and a lawyer that I dated briefly were living paycheck to paycheck. Lots of ants looking for a grasshopper out there, as retirement looms.

Now that's darn interesting. I went out on some dates many years ago from match.com, and I found more men than I wanted to find that were seeking a woman that had money and a good job. It was really discouraging, and I swore I'd never do the personals again...but some people have had great luck with it. Go figure?

 

[travelover]

Now that's darn interesting. I went out on some dates many years ago from match.com, and I found more men than I wanted to find that were seeking a woman that had money and a good job. It was really discouraging, and I swore I'd never do the personals again...but some people have had great luck with it. Go figure?

Where were you when I was looking?

 

[Sarah in SC]

In other words, often these women were broke because they were nice.
Ha

Well that is sure good news for me, Ha! As I'm rarely nice and definitely childfree.

I had two friends who did the match.com deal and both married the psychopathic losers they met there, had a kid each, and are now in such hellish circumstances that one I no longer have any contact with and the other is very infrequent. I was vocal in my early dislike of these creeps.

<shudder> There are far worse things than being alone, is all I can say.

 

[ziggy29]

Health insurance coverage may be more in demand than a big bank account. A nice retired Federal employee with a pension and health coverage would be desirable I suspect.

As things have turned out, people have long overvalued current earning potential and undervalued security, methinks. I know I certainly did, or else I wouldn't have chosen private sector work.

 

[FIREd]

Health insurance coverage may be more in demand than a big bank account. A nice retired Federal employee with a pension and health coverage would be desirable I suspect.

"Friends with benefits" takes on a whole new meaning...

 

[ziggy29]

I went out on some dates many years ago from match.com, and I found more men than I wanted to find that were seeking a woman that had money and a good job.

Perhaps, but it's long been socially acceptable for a woman to look for that in a man, so I do sense some amount of a social double standard here, a similar one that says a woman can stay home and raise children while her spouse brings in the paycheck and bennies, but if the genders were reversed he'd be a slacking ne'er-do-well leeching off his wife who needs to go get a job.

 

[travelover]

................. a slacking ne'er-do-well leeching off his wife who needs to go get a job.

Have you been talking to my neighbors?

 

[Sarah in SC]

Have you been talking to my neighbors?

Awesome!
Travelover, are you my brother?

 

[kcowan]

... In other words, often these women were broke because they were nice.
Ha

OR they did not have a clue about finances!

 

[travelover]

Awesome!
Travelover, are you my brother?

We may have had the same milkman.