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Does this make us bad people?
Old 02-26-2018, 06:03 PM   #1
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Does this make us bad people?

So, DW and I have been at leisure in a nice golf community for a few years now. We enjoy many outdoor activities, to include long bike rides in the surrounding neighborhoods (I can ride between golf communities in a big two-hour loop without getting out onto the regular streets. For the life of me I cannot understand the business model that supports so many golf courses (Sarasota/Bradenton) in one area. Anyway, last summer we experienced a bit of a jumbo grasshopper invasion, either Horse lubbers or Southeastern lubbers, I cannot be sure. We found ourselves occasionally running over one of these pests in the street. As the summer progressed, we both found it somewhat pleasurable to hear the “snick” of a clean kill with the front bike tire. We were doing a public service…..right? This kind of behavior is kind of expected for me, but even I was taken aback at my sweet lady’s enjoyment of this activity. She even fell off her bike one time trying to make a quick turn to nail a pair in coitus. Yes, you are correct in understanding that, when the much smaller male lubber mounts the female in the middle of the street for some good lovin’, we crush them. Folks, this presents a sizable target, with some of the females exceeding 4 inches in length. Naturally, we score this as a double.
Well, the lubber season is fast approaching and we found ourselves discussing how to better track our lubber kills; maybe introduce some type of excel spreadsheet that will tabulate M/F, location and time of day, coital state, etc. I find myself wondering if this sort of thing would even be happening if I was still slaving 5 days a week. Please understand, we are gentle people, never fight with anyone, never think about hurting any other animals. For gods sake, we have a lizard in our lanai we consider a pet; he has been there for over a year eating nothing but gnats. Naturally he is quite skinny so we named him Ndugu. I know not why.
But the question lingers, does this make us bad people?
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Old 02-26-2018, 06:37 PM   #2
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But the question lingers, does this make us bad people?
I wouldn't use the term "bad" here.

Perhaps "odd" is more appropriate. Or even "obsessed".

I'm assuming this behavior is something you keep to yourself and not something you want to discuss with friends. You do have friends, right?
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Old 02-26-2018, 06:51 PM   #3
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Thanks for the laugh!

Maybe you need a go-pro and some AI based software to do the analysis & tabulation. I'm sure there's a startup somewhere funded with billions working on just this problem.

To make it more challenging, you could try pogo sticks.
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Old 02-26-2018, 07:04 PM   #4
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I am stuck on how nasty these bugs sound and the lizard living in your house. Makes me not want to move to FL.
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Old 02-26-2018, 07:10 PM   #5
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Just beware of escalation to squashing humans encountered in lovers' lanes.

Ha
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Old 02-26-2018, 07:11 PM   #6
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Anyone ever spend a few hours way too long popping bubble wrap? A bit addictive. Just the right balance of effort and positive feedback when you get it just right. Then you see if you can get 10 in a row without hitting a leaker.

This sounds like the same thing IMO. I'm in!

Bad people? You guys are freakin' awesome!!!

Side note: Spent a lot of time on a barely inhabited island in the South Pacific. They had giant toads--the size of softballs. A 'fun' evening would be spent driving along the roads nailing them.
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Old 02-26-2018, 07:12 PM   #7
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Oh man, this is getting too weird! I don't know what to say.
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Old 02-26-2018, 07:58 PM   #8
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cbo111, I understand everyone needs a hobby in retirement and it sounds like you & dw have found one to share and enjoy.

Marko, Hours!! Now that is an addiction. The frog part is icky!

walkinwood, Love the pogo stick idea. Makes it more competitive.

You all made my day!
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Old 02-26-2018, 08:26 PM   #9
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Ya just need to wait until the lizards get big enough to eat the grasshoppers.
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Old 02-26-2018, 08:28 PM   #10
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I saw on youtube some Floridians eating these lizards, or rather iguanas.

I'd rather have beef tripe, or pig feet. At least, I know these animals.
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Old 02-26-2018, 08:33 PM   #11
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You should just use the MyFitnessPal app to track your lubber kills.
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Old 02-26-2018, 08:46 PM   #12
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Has anyone contacted you yet regarding doing a movie?
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Old 02-26-2018, 09:11 PM   #13
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I am stuck on how nasty these bugs sound and the lizard living in your house. Makes me not want to move to FL.
When investigating Florida real estate for your next move, no realtor ever talks about the bugs and insects you will be living with.
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Old 02-26-2018, 09:32 PM   #14
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I'll stick to knocking back mugs of beer or glasses of wine. Although as a kid I did swat lightning bugs with a wiffle ball bat! I guess I'll burn in hell with you.
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Old 02-26-2018, 10:09 PM   #15
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This is why I will not retire to a place that does not get cold enough in winter to kill off all of the bugs. It limits the possibilities of summer invasions like these.
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Old 02-26-2018, 10:14 PM   #16
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There's a store near me that sells protein bars made with cricket flour... Perhaps you have the beginnings of a cottage industry here.
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Old 02-26-2018, 10:59 PM   #17
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"Does this make us bad people?" No. I can think of a number of other adjectives, but bad is not one of them. You aren't hurting other humans and even if this activity could fall into the hunting category, it does sound like you're a responsible hunter and going for the quick kill (no suffering). Not my cup of tea, but if you're having a good time, I'm happy for you. Keep in mind, as ivorybird points out, good hunters eat their kill.

For me, I'm with jollystomper - I'll stay far enough north to limit exposure to certain bugs and definitely certain reptiles.
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Old 02-27-2018, 12:04 AM   #18
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Oh that gave me a great laugh out loud moment!

Hey, if it’s an invasion (irruption) you are indeed doing a public service!
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Old 02-27-2018, 12:59 AM   #19
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I think you're a deviated prevert.
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Old 02-27-2018, 01:00 AM   #20
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Omg!

You and your sweetheart have to come and ride RAGBRAI. Your twisted sense of fun and accomplishments will fit right in!

There's a team called Team Roadkill. Maybe you could join them! ��
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