Don't Call Me Lucky?

[Amethyst]

Almost the only times I tell someone they are lucky, are a) they escaped an accident or other trouble without a scrape (they always agree) or b) they have great kids (never had anyone do anything but smile at that). I know quite well how much work it was to raise such great kids, but it's not always the right moment to go into that.

That said, some people grew up hearing certain phrases, which leap to their mouths when something surprises them about another person. Like an excellent shot. Or being retired early. Or not being overweight.

I'd just say "Thanks."

 

[Amethyst]

They only mean "in comparison with me." They are making themselves feel better. It has little to do with you.

Many people could never get through life without telling themselves fibs about why they did not get the things they wanted. Some go so far as to accuse innocent others of having somehow "stolen" something from them, but most people just tell themselves they are unlucky.

The phrase I hate though, is when someone starts off with "You don't know how lucky you are..." .

 

[Popeye]

A good long putt isn’t lucky. Lucky is the shot I hit Last year off the tee on a par three. I flubbed it off to the right. It bounced cart path twice, then hit the wooden bridge over the creek, danced up on the hand rail of the bridge Clear across to the other side and ended up in the short rough short of the green. Lol! I graciously accepted the lucky comments on that one. I may or may not have three putted.

 

[travelover]

For some people, saying you are lucky means that they envy you. It is meant as a compliment. I suppose for some people, it is a way of excusing their own under performance. You'd probably be happier if you assumed the first case.

 

[Dawg52]

I've never run into 'lucky' comments. Now I might say I was lucky if I make a long unexpected putt or chip. My group of guys are pretty laid back and not too serious about it. There is one guy who gets easily perturbed if he hears the slightest bit of noise when he is about to hit a shot. A marching band could be playing and it wouldn't bother me. We're all different.

 

[Gumby]

I have occasionally had people tell me I am lucky. I usually reply "better to be lucky than good".

BTW - "Lucky" would be a most excellent name for a dog.

 

[Dtail]

A good long putt isn’t lucky. Lucky is the shot I hit Last year off the tee on a par three. I flubbed it off to the right. It bounced cart path twice, then hit the wooden bridge over the creek, danced up on the hand rail of the bridge Clear across to the other side and ended up in the short rough short of the green. Lol! I graciously accepted the lucky comments on that one. I may or may not have three putted.

Good true lucky example.
I will reiterate that I seem to see more of the envious type of lucky shot statements in the game of golf.
In Pickleball, if one makes a great shot, you will only hear good get/good shot, or any other positive comment and once in awhile no comment, even though the competitiveness is just as involved as in the game of golf.

 

[zinger1457]

Not everyone plays golf for the competition against others. Most of the rounds I play are casual, non competitive, at most just competing against myself trying to shoot a personal good score. Most of the serious golf competitors that I know play way to slow for me and can be miserable to play with when things aren't going good.

 

[SpinDoctorTX]

We don't golf (does putt putt count?), but we've both had friends say how lucky we are (and a female friend had the nerve to call me spoiled) having retired at 62 (DH) and 56 (me). I had friends say when I was working how lucky it was that I could afford a housekeeper. Well, duh, I worked 50-60 hour weeks regularly and I had no intention of spending one second of my free time on drudgery.

Agree saying “you are lucky” sounds like resentment. Why can’t we be happy for each other?

Reminds me of a phrase, “the harder I practice the luckier I get”. Not sure if this will help with your bud’s.

In regards to retirement before 50, I tell my kids we are fortunate not lucky. My money is self made in Corporate America. It didn’t happen by chance, it happened by choice.

Me too! I do admit to others that we are fortunate, however our hard work and LBYM lifestyle is how we achieved that bit of "luck" for us both. I do tell those friends that part as well.

I guess I'm a bit different, in that I don't mind if someone says I'm lucky to be where I'm at. While a lot of it HAS been hard work and sacrifice, delayed gratification, etc, luck has played into it a bit. As in, I'm lucky that I've made more wise choices than dumb ones, for example.

The phrase I hate though, is when someone starts off with "You don't know how lucky you are..." It's the "you don't know" part that annoys me, not any reference to luck. To me it tends to come off as smug and arrogant, implying that you know what I may or may not know.

My Mom used to say, "You don't know how lucky you are..." from time to time. Early this year I'd had a belly full of it, and I explained how insulting that remark was- as if I'd received some random gift from the universe or won the lottery. The topic was dropped and has remained so, which I'm good with. Heck, she lives with us half the year, and knows well that no one could accuse us of having an extravagant lifestyle or anything. DM also was living part of the year with us when I was still working my crazy hours.

 

[Midpack]

Not everyone plays golf for the competition against others. Most of the rounds I play are casual, non competitive, at most just competing against myself trying to shoot a personal good score. Most of the serious golf competitors that I know play way to slow for me and can be miserable to play with when things aren't going good.

I don’t like high stakes golf, but small wagers are fun to me. We typically kick in $5 each, and sometimes there will be a $2 side bet. It’s fun to play for something, if I lose $7 to my buddies on a bad day, I’m good with that.

 

[Dtail]

I don’t like high stakes golf, but small wagers are fun to me. We typically kick in $5 each, and sometimes there will be a $2 side bet. It’s fun to play for something, if I lose $7 to my buddies on a bad day, I’m good with that.

My competitive golf comment was more of a reference to the example you listed, not a true competition prize money event.

 

[kcowan]

I remember playing in our yearly company tournament and I was very inconsistent. I was a good putter. So if I had a good drive, I ended up at par or slighlty better. But if the drive was bad, I would end up with an 8 or worse.

They would score by making your 3 worst holes your handicap. So I regularly won for low net score. Other times Most Honest Golfer.

But when I retired, I decided that 5-6 hours was too much time out of my retirement days. Plus without that advantageous handicap, I could never win.

 

[jollystomper]

I count my blessings. I am 62, healthy, in good enough shape to walk the course and not get tired, and can choose to play golf whenever I want. The day will come when those things will no longer be true. So if anyone wants to call anything I do on the course "lucky", I am fine with it.

An observation that may only interest me: the better the golfers I play with, the less likely "luck" is ever mentioned.

 

[bobbyr]

I’m a decent putter no better, I can PM you what works for me in terms of mechanics (pace, alignment, reading greens), but nothing helps more than practice or playing a lot IME.

please pm me with any advise you can provide - i three putt way too often (use claw grip for anti-yips --- beer is the only thing that really helps my putting)

 

[frayne]

Yeah, seems like poor sportsmanship to me!

Sounds like jealously to me.

I play almost religiously twice a week with about twenty other seniors and we have guys that shoot in the 70s as well as the 90s but everyone to a tee, likes to see and respects a great shot and always comments in the affirmative, like nice shot or heck of a drive, putt, sand safe, etc. Only when the round is over, the money counted and alcohol consumed does the brash trash talk and sly insults come out, but during the round, never.

 

[Fermion]

Sounds like jealously to me.

I play almost religiously twice a week with about twenty other seniors and we have guys that shoot in the 70s as well as the 90s but everyone to a tee, likes to see and respects a great shot and always comments in the affirmative, like nice shot or heck of a drive, putt, sand safe, etc. Only when the round is over, the money counted and alcohol consumed does the brash trash talk and sly insults come out, but during the round, never.

I generally am able to shoot in the high 60s.

I only play 9 holes though.

 

[Gumby]

Since you pay by the round, you might as well get as many shots for your money as you can.

 

[Dtail]

I count my blessings. I am 62, healthy, in good enough shape to walk the course and not get tired, and can choose to play golf whenever I want. The day will come when those things will no longer be true. So if anyone wants to call anything I do on the course "lucky", I am fine with it.

An observation that may only interest me: the better the golfers I play with, the less likely "luck" is ever mentioned.

Makes sense. The better the players, the more appreciation for true talent.

 

[Midpack]

My competitive golf comment was more of a reference to the example you listed, not a true competition prize money event.

I thought I was reinforcing your POV, I didn’t mean anything else.

 

[Dtail]

I thought I was reinforcing your POV, I didn’t mean anything else.

All good as they say.

 

[imnontrad]

Next time, can you reply something like, " Yes, I found out that after I practice for X hours a week, I get luckier".
But I am not a golfer. 9 holes is enough for me. One of the last times I played (many years ago), one in my group would get visibly upset when he did not do well on a shot. And all I could think about was, "It's a game. there are a lot of soldiers and sailors away from home right now in crappy circumstances. We have nothing to complain about".

 

[foxfirev5]

Next time, can you reply something like, " Yes, I found out that after I practice for X hours a week, I get luckier".
But I am not a golfer. 9 holes is enough for me. One of the last times I played (many years ago), one in my group would get visibly upset when he did not do well on a shot. And all I could think about was, "It's a game. there are a lot of soldiers and sailors away from home right now in crappy circumstances. We have nothing to complain about".

Yeah it's a game. Why make an ass of yourself for nothing. Of course it's not a critical part of my being.

 

[imnontrad]

On another tact, I can see why being called "lucky" would be irritating. there are many times when a woman is called "lucky" while a man with the same accomplishment would be congratulated for their achievement. So if it gets to the point where it bothers you too much, find a different group to play with.

 

[Murph]

I play in a senior golf league, and most of us, self included, are genuinely happy when another player pulls off a great shot. I've run into 2 (of more than 60) guys who make it a habit to tell others 'you sure are lucky' after good shots, specifically good putts. Out of the blue one of them happened to blurt out 'I wish I was lucky' later in a round. Huh?

I happened to sink two 15-20 foot breaking putts today, on the second one I got the lucky comment from another player in the group. Having missed two shorter birdie opportunities and burning the edge several times before and after, I believe if you hit a lot of good putts, some are bound to go in - whether it's me, or anyone else I play with. I bit my tongue, but I was a little miffed at the comment.

The regular 6-12 guys I play with, we're genuinely happy for each other when any of us hits a great shot or putt. Some "luck" is part of golf, or most any sport or pastime if you work at it no?

I think I've seen similar [-]resentment[/-] thoughts here when others have called early retirees lucky - instead of acknowledging years of LBYM.

[/rant][/whine]

I just laugh and say "even a blind squirrel finds a nut now and then".

 

[W2R]

I play in a senior golf league, and most of us, self included, are genuinely happy when another player pulls off a great shot. I've run into 2 (of more than 60) guys who make it a habit to tell others 'you sure are lucky' after good shots, specifically good putts. Out of the blue one of them happened to blurt out 'I wish I was lucky' later in a round. Huh?

I happened to sink two 15-20 foot breaking putts today, on the second one I got the lucky comment from another player in the group. Having missed two shorter birdie opportunities and burning the edge several times before and after, I believe if you hit a lot of good putts, some are bound to go in - whether it's me, or anyone else I play with. I bit my tongue, but I was a little miffed at the comment.

The guy who made that "lucky" comment sounds pretty passive aggressive to me. Maybe it's time to consider looking for other people to play golf with, that are not so annoying.

Life is short so do what makes you happiest.