Financial expectations of a God parent?

[Biracialgirlie]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scout Just researched all of this for the US and much of Western Europe as DW is in a similar circumstance. I found that, as Robbie said, you have no obligation unless both parents die. There were some small financial obligations surrounding ceremony, etc., but not after. Stand tough!

Thank you, Scout :-)

[Biracialgirlie]

Quote:

Originally Posted by marko Last time I heard from my Godparents was 69 years ago...I was 2 years old.

Thank u

[Biracialgirlie]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Qs Laptop I think it's overly generous and godparents need not put godchildren in their wills. I think the number in your will should be zero. I'm with Car-Guy--why is the husband only getting 50%? I give my godchild a nice birthday present or two. No Christmas gifts, though, on request of his parents.

Thank u

[Lewis Clark]

I've never had or been a God-child so I have no idea what the expectations are. This sounds like a personal issue. When you were asked to be a God parent, was there a discussion (actual or implied) at that time about what the expectations were, on both sides?

If not, I think there should have been. This won't help you but may be a warning to folks in the future to clarify expectations up front.

[EastWest Gal]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Biracialgirlie I feel as if my best friend is a little angry with me. I am the Godparent to her 2 children and I just sent her my will which outlines that I will be leaving 5 percent of my estate to each of her children. I’m married woman with no children and I’m planning to leave 50 percent to my husband, 40 percent to my siblings and ten percent to her children. I give my God children generous gifts at Christmas , birthdays, fundraisers etc. But she also often makes comments about how I am so lucky to not have the expenses that she will have when putting her kids through college and drops hints about how I should contribute to their college expenses etc. she makes the same amount of money as I do and has a husband that makes good money. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT MY 10% number ?

Dropping hints about how you should contribute to her children’s college education is weird to me. Her children are not your family. And why are you sending your best friend your will anyway?

FWIW, Iwas neither a godparent nor a godchild so I have no experience with that. Religious upbringing was not part of my childhood. Just the Golden Rule.

[MarieIG]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Biracialgirlie I feel as if my best friend is a little angry with me. I am the Godparent to her 2 children and I just sent her my will which outlines that I will be leaving 5 percent of my estate to each of her children. I’m married woman with no children and I’m planning to leave 50 percent to my husband, 40 percent to my siblings and ten percent to her children. I give my God children generous gifts at Christmas , birthdays, fundraisers etc. But she also often makes comments about how I am so lucky to not have the expenses that she will have when putting her kids through college and drops hints about how I should contribute to their college expenses etc. she makes the same amount of money as I do and has a husband that makes good money. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT MY 10% number ?

I think your number is VERY generous, as is your ongoing involvement with the children. Your friend needs to put a sock in it.

[Biracialgirlie]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lewis Clark I've never had or been a God-child so I have no idea what the expectations are. This sounds like a personal issue. When you were asked to be a God parent, was there a discussion (actual or implied) at that time about what the expectations were, on both sides? If not, I think there should have been. This won't help you but may be a warning to folks in the future to clarify expectations up front.

thanks for your reply

[Biracialgirlie]

Quote:

Originally Posted by EastWest Gal Dropping hints about how you should contribute to her children’s college education is weird to me. Her children are not your family. And why are you sending your best friend your will anyway? FWIW, Iwas neither a godparent nor a godchild so I have no experience with that. Religious upbringing was not part of my childhood. Just the Golden Rule.

Yes it’s annoying and weird. I sent a copy of my will to everyone that I included in it along with advance directive (I just lost my father a few months ago and he was pretty out of it when he got sick and none of us knew his wishes on anything), so I figured that I’d send this stuff off while too if mind. Thanks

[Biracialgirlie]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MarieIG I think your number is VERY generous, as is your ongoing involvement with the children. Your friend needs to put a sock in it.

I feel better as I began to second guess myself . 🤗

[Dash man]

I have to agree with most here that being a Godparent is a commitment to teach the child about their faith if both parents die. There is no financial commitment.
I also question leaving only 50% to your husband since your primary concern being married is to ensure he will be financially secure after you go.
We recently discussed our will and trust with our attorney and DW and I have agreed to gift our sons and her siblings small amounts when the first of us goes. This will avoid the PA inheritance tax they’d have to pay if it were passed through a will or trust. But the bulk will go to each other.

[RobbieB]

Yeah, especially here in CA. Your hubby may have to sign off on your will and have it notarized just like if you want to allocate other than 100% to spouse on your 401K.

[njhowie]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Biracialgirlie I feel as if my best friend is a little angry with me. I am the Godparent to her 2 children and I just sent her my will which outlines that I will be leaving 5 percent of my estate to each of her children. I’m married woman with no children and I’m planning to leave 50 percent to my husband, 40 percent to my siblings and ten percent to her children. I give my God children generous gifts at Christmas , birthdays, fundraisers etc. But she also often makes comments about how I am so lucky to not have the expenses that she will have when putting her kids through college and drops hints about how I should contribute to their college expenses etc. she makes the same amount of money as I do and has a husband that makes good money. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT MY 10% number ?

They aren't your biological kids. In the grand scheme of things you have absolutely no responsibility to them whatsoever, financial or otherwise. That you are generous enough to include them in your will and leave them anything is a tremendous gesture on your part.

I probably would not have given a copy of the will to best friend. The godkids would eventually find out when the time comes and the executor reaches out to them. Now, you have the ill will of best friend to deal with. If it escalates, you may need to have a heart to heart talk with her and ask her to back off and not discuss anything related to finances with you.

At the end of the day, while she's alive, they are her kids and nobody else is responsible or should be made to feel responsible for their well-being.

Just my personal views.

[jollystomper]

I agree with the others, so this is just a "climbing on the bandwagon" post . No financial obligation, whatever you give or choose not to give is your choice. Leave Spouse with more than 50%, consider their needs if you die first. As others have mentioned upon either of our deaths, our surviving children with be gifted something, but nothing that will impact the financial condition of the surviving spouse.

[Golden sunsets]

I agree with everyone else's comments and am also curious as to your husband's will/wishes. Have you discussed what would happen if he predeceases you? If in fact his money would not go to you, in the same proportion as your will stipulates, but might for example go to his children from a prior marriage, then I think that does impact the thought process on your own will.

As regards the BF's children, do you possibly have neices or nephews that might be candidates for bequests.

I too was put off by the assumption that you should contribute to their college funds and even more dumbfounded that she would balk at "only" a 10% bequest. It appears that she has expectations for your assets.

I would redo my will and would not feel the need to share the new arrangements with the BF.

[Biracialgirlie]

You gave all given me food for thought and out my mind at ease 😊😊😊😊

[Chuckanut]

I don't ever recall seeing any financial requirement or promise when somebody becomes a god parent. Check out the baptism ceremonies different churches use. I doubt if you will find a requirement to give money to the child. You're a god parent, not a financier parent.

[Aerides]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Biracialgirlie I feel as if my best friend is a little angry with me. I am the Godparent to her 2 children and I just sent her my will which outlines that I will be leaving 5 percent of my estate to each of her children.

What did she say/do that makes you think she's angry with you?

[badatmath]

If it helps my god parents left me nothing.

If your lawyer drew the will I assume it is properly done but as mentioned above that does sometimes require notarized consent.

Also, not really kidding here i think it is a bad idea to discuss anything too specific with people regarding your will as they might have a motive to bump you off.

Husband of course, but I would not have told siblings or friend. Especially as you might change your mind later. For people not your spouse/kids I think it could just come as a nice surprise later.

[CRLLS]

Like others, I think your planned amount (greater than zero) is way more generous than anyone has thought of me. My godchildren are now well-established adults, and our godparenting days are well over. They will get what I got.

I do have to ask, am I the only one who doesn't distribute copies of our current and possibly changing Wills to all the beneficiaries before we are "gone"? It certainly opens up the possibility of some very hard feelings when the time comes to distribute per the Will. We told our chidren where to find our wills when the time comes. Following some other threads on the subject, many plan on TOD's or Trusts leaving very little assets that are controlled by the Will. If this is the case won't the friend be surprised!

[Dash man]

Quote:

Originally Posted by CRLLS I do have to ask, am I the only one who doesn't distribute copies of our current and possibly changing Wills to all the beneficiaries before we are "gone"? It certainly opens up the possibility of some very hard feelings when the time comes to distribute per the Will. We told our chidren where to find our wills when the time comes. Following some other threads on the subject, many plan on TOD's or Trusts leaving very little assets that are controlled by the Will. If this is the case won't the friend be surprised!

We’ve discussed our will and trusts with our boys and told them where to find them when the time comes. Our attorney also has a duplicate with original signatures. I would never give them or any other beneficiaries a copy, especially outside the family.