Funny Joke Thread 2021 to ?

[braumeister]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chuckanut Keep in mind that Mr. McConnell had polio as a child and has suffered the after effects of the disease all his life.

It was a joke. That's why it's in this thread. The pictures were obviously enhanced, one in each direction. Nothing more was intended.

[ls99]

Quote:

Originally Posted by braumeister It was a joke. .............

And a good one.
Mick is a tad more wrinkly than in the joke photo.

[CDRE]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ls99 And a good one. Mick is a tad more wrinkly than in the joke photo.

Wait, does your photo even have Mick in it?

[Aerides]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chuckanut Guys with that many wrinkles should be posing with such young beauties. The comparison is very strong. OTOH, maybe Mick should find a better tech to Photoshop his image. Other stars do.

They're his daughters, I don't think he minds.

[NW-Bound]

I just found out Mick Jagger has 8 kids by 5 women. His kids' ages range from 51 to 6.

His current partner, the mother of his 6-year-old son, is way younger than his daughters.

[ls99]

Quote:

Originally Posted by NW-Bound I just found out Mick Jagger has 8 kids by 5 women. His kids' ages range from 51 to 6. His current partner is way younger than his daughters.

Not quiet as prolific as Musk.

[NgineER]

Related to the worst flight experience thread.

Why is diarrhea hereditary?

It runs in your jeans.

My colonoscopy Dr had never heard it.

[Qs Laptop]

Two old friends, Ned and John, lived for baseball. Then one day, John died, leaving Ned inconsolable. A few weeks later, Ned heard someone calling his name. He looked up. Standing on a cloud was his old pal.

“Ned,” John called down, “I have good news and bad. The good news is, there’s baseball in heaven!”

“Great,” said Ned. “What’s the bad news?”

“You’re pitching Sunday.”

[Time2]

Quote:

Originally Posted by braumeister Mick Jagger is 80. Mitch McConnell is 81. The benefits of a life of sex, drugs, and rock-'n'-roll should not be ignored.

I have been known to look at Jagger prancing around on stage and ask, "is it really true that drugs are bad for you".

[RunningBum]

What do Deadheads say when they run out of drugs?

"My god, what is this awful music?!”

[REWahoo]

...

[frayne]

Did you hear the one about the narcissist who liked to use big words because it made him look more photosynthesis.

[Music Lover]

13-1.jpg

[Time2]

Quote:

Originally Posted by RunningBum What do Deadheads say when they run out of drugs? "My god, what is this awful music?!”

That's funny to me because I remember being with my best buddy, 50 years ago, when one off the Grateful dead songs came on and it just droned on. I ask, "when are they going to get it together?" I remember him smirking.

[Time2]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Qs Laptop "People who exercise live longer, but those years are spent in the gym."

Probably true, but after months of badgering myself about, I need to start exercising, I finally found a couple videos mostly about stretching but they include exercises that strengthen core and add strength for balance. Then I started back at the gym, only been there twice last week but it's a start. I also notice, I already feel better when I move, less shoulder ache, my arthritic thumb hurts less. I don't hurt as much getting out of bed. OVER ALL PLUS!


Here are two stretch/strength videos, I have found helpful as starters.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A6RGbnoCsKk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MGThzh4tc30

[Walt34]

Some people have no sense of humor:

[Midpack]

...

[frayne]

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House.
One is from Chicago, another is from Tennessee, and the third is from Minnesota.
All three go with a White House official to examine the fence.
The Minnesota contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil.
"Well," he says, "I figure the job will run about $900. $400 for materials, $400 for my crew, and $100 profit for me."
The Tennessee contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says,
"I can do this job for $700. $300 for materials, $300 for my crew, and $100 profit for me."
The Chicago contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, "$2,700."
The official, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?"
The Chicago contractor whispers back, "$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we hire the guy from Tennessee to fix the fence."
"Done!" replies the government official. And that, my friends, is how our government works.

[RetireBy90]

Quote:

Originally Posted by frayne Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago, another is from Tennessee, and the third is from Minnesota. All three go with a White House official to examine the fence. The Minnesota contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. "Well," he says, "I figure the job will run about $900. $400 for materials, $400 for my crew, and $100 profit for me." The Tennessee contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, "I can do this job for $700. $300 for materials, $300 for my crew, and $100 profit for me." The Chicago contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, "$2,700." The official, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?" The Chicago contractor whispers back, "$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we hire the guy from Tennessee to fix the fence." "Done!" replies the government official. And that, my friends, is how our government works.

Quite appropriate for the time we find ourselves in

[harley]

Quote:

Originally Posted by RetireBy90 Quite appropriate for the time we find ourselves in

Not any different than the time our grandparents found themselves in. And back to the beginning of human time, or at least since the first gov't. Probably a COA (Cave owner's Association).