Funny Joke Thread 2021 to ?

[Qs Laptop]

it's been done, more than once.
For example:
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6371977/beer-called-responsibly-devised-wacky-entrepreneur-shed-simove.html

 

[Out-to-Lunch]

Here is our local spin on it:

 

[Walt34]

Winter driving:

 

[REWahoo]

I have learned two very important things in life.

I don't recall the first one, but the second one is to write everything down.

 

[REWahoo]

...

 

[Walt34]

Found:

 

[Silver]

I have a friend who is an insomniac, an agnostic, and is dyslexic.

Sometimes she tells me about nights when she lays awake and wonders if there really is a Dog.

 

[Walt34]

Speaking of dogs, dog fail:

 

[Time2]

Insurance

 

[folivier]

Laughed at the dog fail. Years ago I took my black lab pup to obedience school. This puppy was high strung, all of her life. Quite a few lessons I was embarrassed because of how disruptive she was. At the end of the class as the instructor was handing out certificates as she approached me and handed mine to me she whispered to me "I'll give you a free lesson if you want". I looked at the blank piece of paper and asked her if she thought it would make any difference. She looked at me sadly and said "nope." I thanked her and ran after my lab. True story.

 

[Backpacker]

I've just upgraded to Directv HD.

I'm impressed.

The phrase 'No satellite signal' has never been so colorful and clear.

 

[Walt34]

Some areas are getting rough:

 

[Time2]

Friends I may or may not have had.

 

[braumeister]

I didn't realize the supply chain issues had gotten so bad.

 

[Time2]

The wife ask me a question, then ask again.

 

[cbo111]

A couple days late, but still funny.

 

[flyingaway]

I didn't realize the supply chain issues had gotten so bad.

That is really funny.

 

[Walt34]

Fits this forum:

 

[Chuckanut]

A lapsed Catholic, a 1000 year old shaman and a homicidal Budhist Monk walk into a bar. The barman says, "Sorry, we only serve spirits here".

 

[Walt34]

This one's about comfy furniture:

 

[REWahoo]

On Wednesday morning in Buffalo, airport police removed pilot James Clifton from a JetBlue flight before takeoff. Sobriety tests indicated his blood alcohol level was more than four times the legal limit.

Unfortunately, this is not the first incident of an airplane pilot being too drunk to fly.

This begs the question, is there actually a level of pilot drunkenness that meets FAA flight requirements?

 

[OldShooter]

8 hours bottle to throttle, .04 BAC

 

[Qs Laptop]

8 hours bottle to throttle, .04 BAC

Reminds me of the infamous incident in Minneapolis when a couple of Northwest Airline pilots flew 6 or 7 hours after downing 20 rum and cokes along with a couple pitchers of beer.

 

[REWahoo]

8 hours bottle to throttle, .04 BAC

Back in the day the military had a rule, "Don't smoke 24 hours before a flight or drink within 50 feet of an aircraft". Or something like that...

 

[Walt34]

Events in the news reminded me of this: