Join Early Retirement Today
Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 12-06-2021, 07:16 PM   #81
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
travelover's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 14,078
Quote:
Originally Posted by Qs Laptop View Post
What about your joint?
State specific.
travelover is offline   Reply With Quote
Join the #1 Early Retirement and Financial Independence Forum Today - It's Totally Free!

Are you planning to be financially independent as early as possible so you can live life on your own terms? Discuss successful investing strategies, asset allocation models, tax strategies and other related topics in our online forum community. Our members range from young folks just starting their journey to financial independence, military retirees and even multimillionaires. No matter where you fit in you'll find that Early-Retirement.org is a great community to join. Best of all it's totally FREE!

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest so you have limited access to our community. Please take the time to register and you will gain a lot of great new features including; the ability to participate in discussions, network with our members, see fewer ads, upload photographs, create a retirement blog, send private messages and so much, much more!

Old 12-06-2021, 08:59 PM   #82
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: St. Charles
Posts: 3,257
Quote:
Originally Posted by Qs Laptop View Post
What about your joint?
Hip or knee?
__________________
If your not living on the edge, you're taking up too much space.
Never slow down, never grow old!
CardsFan is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 12-07-2021, 02:30 PM   #83
Moderator
Walt34's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Eastern WV Panhandle
Posts: 23,570
One valid reason for late mail:
Attached Images
File Type: jpeg axe_dog.jpeg (484.8 KB, 141 views)
__________________
When I was a kid I wanted to be older. This is not what I expected.
Walt34 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-09-2021, 03:21 PM   #84
Moderator
Walt34's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Eastern WV Panhandle
Posts: 23,570
One must have priorities:
Attached Images
File Type: jpg caring_parent.jpg (28.8 KB, 732 views)
__________________
When I was a kid I wanted to be older. This is not what I expected.
Walt34 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-10-2021, 02:50 PM   #85
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: the prairies
Posts: 4,069
song.jpg
Music Lover is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-10-2021, 04:13 PM   #86
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: St. Charles
Posts: 3,257
Quote:
Originally Posted by Music Lover View Post
Just happened today. I heard Mike Nesmith (Monkees) passed and read the bio. The song "Joanne" has been singing in my mind ever since.
__________________
If your not living on the edge, you're taking up too much space.
Never slow down, never grow old!
CardsFan is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 12-20-2021, 03:03 PM   #87
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: the prairies
Posts: 4,069
career day.jpg
Music Lover is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-20-2021, 05:00 PM   #88
Moderator
Walt34's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Eastern WV Panhandle
Posts: 23,570
Dental work coming right up...
Attached Images
File Type: jpg tooth_loss.jpg (70.0 KB, 62 views)
__________________
When I was a kid I wanted to be older. This is not what I expected.
Walt34 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-23-2021, 03:55 PM   #89
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
DFW_M5's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: DFW
Posts: 6,895
I can relate to some of these, well maybe most of these:

My bucket list: keep breathing

Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say, "Close enough"

I'm a multitasker. I can listen, ignore and forget all at the same time!

Retirement to-do list: Wake up. Nailed it!

People who wonder if the glass is half empty or half full miss the point. The glass is refillable.

I don't have grey hair. I have wisdom-highlights.

Sometimes it takes me all day to get nothing done.

I don't trip, I do random gravity checks.

My heart says chocolate, but my jeans say, please, please, please eat a salad!

Never laugh at your spouse's choices. You are one of them.

One minute you're young and fun. The next, you're turning down the car stereo to see better.

Losing weight doesn't seem to be working for me, so from now I'm going to concentrate on getting taller.

Some people are like clouds, once they disappear it's a beautiful day.

Some people you're glad to see coming; some people you're glad to see going

My body is a temple; ancient and crumbling.

Common sense is not a gift. It's a punishment because you have to deal with everyone else who doesn't have it.

I came. I saw. I forgot what I was doing.

Retraced my steps. Got lost on the way back. Now I have no idea what's going on

If you can't think of a word say "I forgot the English word for it." That way people will think you're bilingual instead of an idiot.

I'm at a place in my life where errands are starting to count as "going out". (Not kidding about that!)

I'm getting tired of being part of a major historical event!!

I don't always go the extra mile, but when I do it's because I missed my exit.

Ate salad for dinner. Mostly croutons and tomatoes. Well....really it was just one big round crouton, covered with tomato sauce and cheese. I mean....FINE, it was a pizza....OK, I ate a pizza!
Are you happy now?

Having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave the house.

It's weird being the same age as old people!

Life is like a helicopter. I don't know how to operate a helicopter either.

Never sing in the shower! Singing leads to dancing, dancing leads to slipping, and slipping leads to paramedics seeing you naked. So remember... Don't sing!

I see people about my age mountain climbing; Whereas, I feel good getting my leg through my underwear without losing my balance!!

We all get heavier as we get older, because there's a lot more information in our heads.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
__________________
Doing things today that others won't, to do things tomorrow that others can't. Of course I'm referring to workouts, not robbing banks.
DFW_M5 is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 12-23-2021, 04:11 PM   #90
Moderator
Walt34's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Eastern WV Panhandle
Posts: 23,570
Holiday stories:
Attached Images
File Type: jpg Santa_temper.jpg (17.8 KB, 50 views)
__________________
When I was a kid I wanted to be older. This is not what I expected.
Walt34 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-23-2021, 06:49 PM   #91
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 2,781
In 2019 after the Peru Earthquake a German conglomerate was hosting a disaster recovery planning session for all it's foreign affiliates and the perfectionist IT VP Kurt asked for all of their disaster recovery plans for an earthquake. "Can't you just share yours with us?", asked Leonard the VP of IT for the USA?

"We have no need of one" Kurt said proudly. "Why not?" asked Leonard.

"Because Germans have no faults!" replied Kurt
__________________
But then what do I really know?

https://www.early-retirement.org/forums/f44/why-i-believe-we-are-about-to-embark-on-a-historic-bull-market-run-101268.html
Running_Man is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-25-2021, 04:26 PM   #92
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Dec 2021
Location: Canoga Park
Posts: 54
Rush Limbaugh: Some TV newscasts can be momentarily mistaken for Victoria’s Secret specials. In an apparent attempt to capture channel-surfing male viewers, stations have hired attractive female anchors, often outfitting them in attire that emphasizes their sexuality." These guys watch but they couldn't tell you what was just reported.

I'll tell you when I first noticed this. I lived in Kansas City back in the seventies and one local station there went out and made a big deal out of some new weather girl that they had hired, and I gotta tell you, when this woman stood on the East Coast and faced the West Coast, the first state you saw was Missouri.
Davidhelp is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-03-2022, 10:24 AM   #93
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Qs Laptop's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 1,467
A man walks into an enchanted forest and tries to cut down a talking tree. “You can’t cut me down,” the tree exclaims, “I’m a talking tree!” The man responds, “You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue.”
__________________
"If James Bond was an Amish spy, he would drink buttermilk. Shaken, not churned."
Qs Laptop is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-03-2022, 02:46 PM   #94
Moderator
Walt34's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Eastern WV Panhandle
Posts: 23,570
Warning to seat-kickers:
Attached Images
File Type: jpg drug_dog.jpg (90.6 KB, 82 views)
__________________
When I was a kid I wanted to be older. This is not what I expected.
Walt34 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-04-2022, 10:26 AM   #95
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Qs Laptop's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 1,467
I can tell when people are being judgmental just by looking at them.
__________________
"If James Bond was an Amish spy, he would drink buttermilk. Shaken, not churned."
Qs Laptop is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-09-2022, 11:59 AM   #96
Full time employment: Posting here.
Silver's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Orlando, Fl
Posts: 899
I enjoyed these one liners, some about aging. Number 1 made me laugh out loud.

1. To me, "drink responsibly" means don't spill it.

2. Age 50 may be the new 30, but 9:00PM is the new midnight.

3. It's the start of a new day, and I'm off like a herd of turtles.

4. When I say "The other day..." I could be referring to any time between yesterday and 15 years ago.

5. I remember being able to get up from a chair without making sound effects.

6. I had my patience tested. I'm negative.

7. Remember, if you lose a sock in the dryer, it comes back as a Tupperware lid that doesn't fit any of your containers.

8. When you ask me what I am doing today, and I say "nothing", it does not mean I am free. It means I'm doing nothing.

9. I finally got eight hours of sleep. It took me three days, but whatever.

10. I run like the winded.

11. I hate when a couple argues in public and I miss the beginning. I don't know whose side I'm on.

12. When someone asks what I did over the weekend, I squint and ask, 'Why? What did you hear?"

13. I don't mean to interrupt people. That's rude. But I just randomly remember things and get really excited.

14. When I ask for directions, please don't use words like "east".

15. Don't bother walking a mile in my shoes. That would be boring. Spend 30 seconds in my head. That'll freak you out.

16. Sometimes, someone unexpected comes into your life out of nowhere, makes your heart race, and changes you forever. We call these people police officers.
__________________
"Some people describe themselves as being able to see a glass half full. For some, the glass is half empty. Me? I can't even find the f***king glass."
Silver
Silver is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-09-2022, 12:48 PM   #97
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
RunningBum's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 12,246
Quote:
Originally Posted by Silver View Post

8. When you ask me what I am doing today, and I say "nothing", it does not mean I am free. It means I'm doing nothing.
This one is perfect. And funny, but also perfect, at least for me.
RunningBum is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-09-2022, 12:48 PM   #98
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Sojourner's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 2,042
Interviewer: "Now that we've discussed your strengths, tell me about one of your weaknesses."

Me: "Well, I am honest to a fault. Brutally honest, in fact."

Interviewer: "I don't think being honest is a weakness."

Me: "I don't give a damn what you think!"
Sojourner is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 01-10-2022, 09:32 AM   #99
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Qs Laptop's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 1,467
Quote:
Originally Posted by Silver View Post
1. To me, "drink responsibly" means don't spill it.
I've been saying for years some beer company should come out with a new brew and name it "Responsibly".

Think of the marketing slogans.
__________________
"If James Bond was an Amish spy, he would drink buttermilk. Shaken, not churned."
Qs Laptop is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-10-2022, 10:37 AM   #100
Moderator
braumeister's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Flyover country
Posts: 21,085
Quote:
Originally Posted by Qs Laptop View Post
I've been saying for years some beer company should come out with a new brew and name it "Responsibly".

Think of the marketing slogans.
It's been done, more than once.
For example:
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...ed-Simove.html
__________________
I thought growing old would take longer.
braumeister is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


» Quick Links

 
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 03:55 PM.
 
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2022, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.