Funny Wedding stories

[tryan]

We've all been to enough weddings ... but which ones REALLY stick in your mind and why ....

DW and I (dating at the time) went to a wedding for a co-worker. At the reception the (open) bar surrounded the indoor pool. Soo the groomsmen had the "great" idea of throwing the groom in the pool during the first hour of the reception! The bride was hysterical (crying) for the next 1/2 hour. Fortunately the groom lived nearby and could change into a suit only missing about an hour of his reception.

I have others ... your turn.

 

[Meadbh]

I once attended a family wedding in Washington DC. It was the middle of the summer and the church had no AC. Everyone was in their seats, waiting for the bride.

Waiting........waiting.........eventually the chief bridesmaid phoned the hotel, only to discover that the limo had never arrived. One of the guests who had a car left and drove through DC at rush hour to pick up the beautifully dressed, but frustrated bride......in an old VW Beetle!

It all went swimmingly after that. At least, the wedding party and guests were swimming in sweat after waiting in that hot church for over an hour.

I think they are happy, so that's what matters!

 

[Ronstar]

When my cousin got married, I escorted my grandmother to the wedding and to the reception. I pulled up to front door of the reception hall to let my grandmother out and told her to go inside - I'd be right back after I parked the car. When I walked in, she was just standing there and told me "I don't know anyone here" I thought maybe she was suffering from senioritus, but as I looked around I realized that i didn't know anyone either. I dropped her off at the wrong reception hall. My cousin's reception was in the same building but a different entrance

 

[Bestwifeever]

We've all been to enough weddings ... but which ones REALLY stick in your mind and why ....

DW and I (dating at the time) went to a wedding for a co-worker. At the reception the (open) bar surrounded the indoor pool. Soo the groomsmen had the "great" idea of throwing the groom in the pool during the first hour of the reception! The bride was hysterical (crying) for the next 1/2 hour. Fortunately the groom lived nearby and could change into a suit only missing about an hour of his reception.

I have others ... your turn.

I know someone who was a groomsman at his sister's wedding and he threw her into the pool, wedding gown, veil, and all, at the beginning of the reception. Note: stay away from swimming pools near weddings.

I also saw a best man faint during the ceremony at a very theatrically lit wedding right as the couple were saying their vows.

The funniest wedding I saw involved three out-of-control little flower girls playing tag around the bride and groom at the altar, hiding under the bride's long full skirt, etc., until the officiant stopped the service and demanded someone remove them.

 

[gozer]

Most weddings I have been to are fairly boring and normal. Somebody drinks too much and dances badly or passes out.

Back from my younger days, I do have a couple that are a bit more entertaining. In one, we had a friend who got married during college. His wife started having an affair with her best friend. This broke up the marriage. The best friend later decided she wasn't really gay and a year later started a relationship with our friend, the former husband. A few months later, they are getting married. I couldn't believe he would even consider this. Had to be a revenge thing. We almost didn't attend the wedding. After the wedding, at the reception, the ex-wife showed up quite drunk and professed her love for the bride. She made a very large scene and it was extremely painful to watch. Bride and ex-wife ended up talking it out in a restroom. We left. Second marriage didn't last three months. Lost touch with them shortly after this. Way too much drama for me.

 

[Sue J]

DHs brother got married in NJ. DH was the best man and our 5 year old son was the ring bearer. Our 2 year old son was there but we arranged for a sitter to stay with him during the ceremony. My parents came since BIL knew them well.

DH and 5 year old son left to do wedding prep stuff while I took care of arrangements with the sitter and then got dressed for the wedding. Then I went to find my parents at the hotel because we planned to drive to the wedding together.

All of the family had left the hotel, including my parents! I didn't have an invitation with the address but I knew the name of the church. I tried not to panic, I knew the wedding would happen whether I was there or not, but I wanted to see my son walk down the aisle. This was in 1989, before the internet and cell phones.

I saw a friendly looking guy at a desk in the hotel lobby. I had no idea what a concierge was but maybe he was a local guy who could find the church address for me. The guy was a lifesaver! There were 2 churches in the area with that name and he called one to ask if that was the one with the wedding. Then he wrote out directions for me, including a confusing detour for construction. I had never driven in NJ but I could do this to see my 5 year old in a wedding.

I got there with about 3 minutes to spare. I sat with my parents who had no idea they left me behind, I guess one of us misunderstood our plans. The wedding went perfectly and no one knew the problem I had getting there.

The bride and groom are still married.

 

[Gumby]

The first wedding I ever went to, I was the best man. I got to whack the bride's butt with the flat of a sword.

 

[Major Tom]

Most weddings I have been to are fairly boring and normal. Somebody drinks too much and dances badly or passes out.

Back from my younger days, I do have a couple that are a bit more entertaining. In one, we had a friend who got married during college. His wife started having an affair with her best friend. This broke up the marriage. The best friend later decided she wasn't really gay and a year later started a relationship with our friend, the former husband. A few months later, they are getting married. I couldn't believe he would even consider this. Had to be a revenge thing. We almost didn't attend the wedding. After the wedding, at the reception, the ex-wife showed up quite drunk and professed her love for the bride. She made a very large scene and it was extremely painful to watch. Bride and ex-wife ended up talking it out in a restroom. We left. Second marriage didn't last three months. Lost touch with them shortly after this. Way too much drama for me.

I'm having trouble following this story, but it sure is fun trying

 

[Major Tom]

Some good stories here. Allow me to add my own.

About 10 years ago, a good friend and his fiancee asked me if I'd marry them. I was flattered, but I am not a priest nor do I have the ability to perform a legal wedding ceremony. What on earth was going on?

Well, his fiance had just become pregnant and it turns out that they had married in secret a year or two earlier. They didn't want to break the news to their families that they had married in secret, in order to avoid upsetting anyone. They did, however, want their families to know that they were starting their own family as a legally married couple. The plan was that I would dress up as a priest and marry them in a ceremony that their families and friends would attend so that when the bride gave birth, everyone would think they were married - which they were (just not by me).

The "marriage" ceremony and reception both took place on a large ship docked at harbor. The groom rented a set of priests clothing for me from a costume store. We figured out a ceremony between us, and I gave a sermon. Heaven knows how I pulled it off. Luckily, neither of the families had met me before, but I had met the groom's best friend briefly once, and he seemed to remember. After the ceremony, he asked me what denomination I was. I replied that I was non-denominational - that the church I belonged to was ecumenical and open to all. He gave me a long knowing smile in return and at that moment, I knew he'd figured it out. Then the groom's mother came up to me, touched my arm and said, "Oh Father, that was such a wonderful and inspirational sermon. I feel so much closer to God." Wow, did I feel guilty!

A couple of years later, I ran into the best friend again and we talked. He had indeed figured out what was going on. I heard from my friend who I married, that they later told their families, who took it very well. Apparently they understood the intention, and saw the funny side. Thank goodness for that. There are some people who would be very upset at such a ruse but luckily, this particular group of people are a very accepting and loving set of folk.

I still have the picture of myself dressed up as a priest, with the couple. To anyone who knows me, the thought of me as a priest is a bit far-fetched. I did play the role of Jesus in nativity plays at school every single year, so there must have been something about me that seemed pious. I'm still trying to figure out what it is

 

[dontworry]

These are awesome stories! I wish I had something hilarious to add but I just cannot remember anything that exciting right now. Been to lots of weddings with lots of fun but no hilarious stories are coming to mind right now.

 

[Meadbh]

Some good stories here. Allow me to add my own.

About 10 years ago, a good friend and his fiancee asked me if I'd marry them. I was flattered, but I am not a priest nor do I have the ability to perform a legal wedding ceremony. What on earth was going on?

Well, his fiance had just become pregnant and it turns out that they had married in secret a year or two earlier. They didn't want to break the news to their families that they had married in secret, in order to avoid upsetting anyone. They did, however, want their families to know that they were starting their own family as a legally married couple. The plan was that I would dress up as a priest and marry them in a ceremony that their families and friends would attend so that when the bride gave birth, everyone would think they were married - which they were (just not by me).

The "marriage" ceremony and reception both took place on a large ship docked at harbor. The groom rented a set of priests clothing for me from a costume store. We figured out a ceremony between us, and I gave a sermon. Heaven knows how I pulled it off. Luckily, neither of the families had met me before, but I had met the groom's best friend briefly once, and he seemed to remember. After the ceremony, he asked me what denomination I was. I replied that I was non-denominational - that the church I belonged to was ecumenical and open to all. He gave me a long knowing smile in return and at that moment, I knew he'd figured it out. Then the groom's mother came up to me, touched my arm and said, "Oh Father, that was such a wonderful and inspirational sermon. I feel so much closer to God." Wow, did I feel guilty!

A couple of years later, I ran into the best friend again and we talked. He had indeed figured out what was going on. I heard from my friend who I married, that they later told their families, who took it very well. Apparently they understood the intention, and saw the funny side. Thank goodness for that. There are some people who would be very upset at such a ruse but luckily, this particular group of people are a very accepting and loving set of folk.

I still have the picture of myself dressed up as a priest, with the couple. To anyone who knows me, the thought of me as a priest is a bit far-fetched. I did play the role of Jesus in nativity plays at school every single year, so there must have been something about me that seemed pious. I'm still trying to figure out what it is

That is HILARIOUS! I am having difficulty imagining Major Tom, who I imagine is an introvert, acting out this charade. Why do people have to make it so complicated?

 

[Major Tom]

That is HILARIOUS! �� I am having difficulty imagining Major Tom, who I imagine is an introvert, acting out this charade. Why do people have to make it so complicated?

I am indeed a big introvert but am able to put that part of my personality on hold for short periods of time for public performances etc. It was useful for my professional life (voice-over/announcer/production work) but created plenty of misunderstanding in my personal life with people who thought I was outgoing only to later discover I was, in reality, both introverted and a little shy.

A most amusing part of that wedding just came back to me. A Scotsman had been hired to play the bagpipes. During the reception, he mentioned that he had a few more bookings coming up. I told him that I did voice-over work (which I did) and we had a brief conversation about agents and representation (all while standing in front of him wearing a cassock). As soon as I opened my big mouth, I realized that I had accidentally broken my cover, but he seemed to take it in his stride. We were in Los Angeles after all, so perhaps he took it as being within the realms of possibility that even a priest would have an agent

 

[Sarah in SC]

That is awesome, Tom. I've done a couple of weddings as a notary, but didn't have to dress up as a priest to perform the ceremony!

Our best/worst story was a groomsman who had too much to drink the night before, and began weaving and sweating during the (overly) long Episcopal ceremony of some friends. Halfway through, he leaves the lineup to go out the side door and loudly throw up in the church bathroom. Maybe 5 minutes after he left, his wife, sitting beside me, asks "where's Rob?" and I had to tell her he'd disappeared. She just said "I see." Oh, did I see what he had coming in the car on the way home that night. But famously he told her "Darling, I'm so mad at myself that I really need you not to be mad at me too!". Yeah, didn't work.

 

[ImThinkin2019]

At our wedding (1980) we got through the ceremony fine. Then went to my DW parents' house for the reception.
Their best friend (we'll call him BF) was acting as bartender. BF was a very smooth attractive guy - note he's had partners of both sexes, so apparently universally attractive.
Anyway, he's behind the bar in his white suit with black shirt, looking suave. My groomsmen and best man are standing in the same room because they were very comfortable around bars. Out of the blue, BF asks them "Do you guys have any pot?". So they here they are, sweating bullets and wrestling with whether to tell the truth and finally, admitted that they had some. After all, we were children of the 60's and 70's...
So after letting them fret for a minute or two, BF points to a room behind the bar and says "OK, go in here." They all gasped sighs of relief then went in there and fired up.
Sometime soon after I saw BF talking to my MIL's best friend. He smiles, points to the room behind him and says "MIL's best friend, go in here."
Later on saw MIL's best friend coming from the buffet table. She had a plate piled as high as it could be with food. Hmm, wonder what she did in that back room....
tl;dr MIL's best friend got the munchies at our wedding

 

[sailor]

A while ago I attended a wedding of a skydiving couple.
Most of the guests were skydivers too or at least somehow connected (me & my date were pilots in the same club).
During the party groom had way too much alcohol and passed out. The bride got mad and she got somebody to fetch a chute from the trunk of his car (I would say half of the guests had parachutes in their cars .
She and her bridesmaids strapped him into the harness (still in his tuxedo) and hung him outside in the trees few feet of the ground - It was a hoot to watch one bridesmaid in a pretty dress climbing the trees.
They left him hanging there until the morning.
He was very apologetic and only slightly mad that they scratched the canopy of his parachute.
They are still married today and this was more than 20 years ago.

 

[Major Tom]

"Darling, I'm so mad at myself that I really need you not to be mad at me too!". Yeah, didn't work.

I'd make a mental note of that, but I doubt if it would work for me either!

I do have another story - not a wedding one, but a church one, dating back to the time I spent as an altar boy. I have made several attempts to post it already, but my little blind kitty keeps jumping up on the desk and batting me. She is very good at stopping me from working and taking over the desk for herself

Great stories here - keep 'em coming!

 

[Koolau]

Probably too many to tell - and those are just from OUR wedding.

1. One of the groomsmen and I were sitting around my parents house waiting to get to the church for the ceremony. We suddenly realized that all of the cars were gone and we were still there. Fortunately, the church was only about a mile away so we hoofed it (about 85+ degree weather). Made it with a few minutes to spare.

2. Waiting for DW-to-be as she comes up the aisle of the church, accompanied by the appropriate music: As she reached the stage area, there were two rather large steps to climb. As she did so, she stepped on her slip. I'm just a few feet away and realize what is happening but can't do much. She pauses since she knows she has to climb the steps, but also knows that her slip is coming down as she does so. By the second step the slip has come out the bottom of the dress by a foot or so. Didn't look too bad, so she didn't even try to adjust anything.

Maybe I'll tell the funny ones some other time.

 

[gozer]

Okay, here is my only other psuedo-wedding story. Also from college.

I have been friends with the groom since I was 15. He is a couple years older than me and we went to the same college. He was fairly wild, played lead guitar and sang in a garage band during high school. He was getting married immediately after college graduation. I had met his fiancee and knew her from some classes since she and I shared the same major. I would have described her as a 4P (prim, proper, polite, pretty)

So the bachelor party arrives. All of the friends I had in common with the groom had either flunked out, graduated by this time or were missing a Y chromosome (female). My friend was in a fraternity and they were handling the bachelor party. I was fairly anti-greek in college so put all this together and the groom was the only person I knew at the party. At least it started that way.

At the party I am sitting in the back at the bar. Nursing a beer and trying to figure out when to slip out and go home. Not much fun when you don't know anyone. As I am getting ready to slide out, several guys yell, "Stripper's here!" Well I guess it would be impolite to leave now. I'll just sit here, drink my beer and try to bear the boredom a little longer. Stiff upper lip and all, or something like that.

When the stripper walks in, she has a lone ranger type mask on among other things. In short order my friend is handcuffed to a chair and is getting a lap dance while clothes begin slowly coming off.

Someone moving catches my attention. I glance over and see my friends mom walking to the side carrying a video camera. In 1986, cameras were a lot more noticeable than today. The flurry of incoherent cranial blathering in my head went something like this (remember I have known my friends mom since I was 15):

- No Mrs. J., I'm not drinking.
- Or sitting here watching a stripper.
- I don't think she noticed me in the group, play it cool.
- What the hell are you doing here?
- Somethings up and it's not what you're thinking.
- Back on task, what's the stripper doing.

Shortly after Mrs. J is in position to the side with the camera going, the stripper takes off the mask. Her back is to me so I don't see her face. But I do see my friends face. It goes white, green and then beet red. Stripper gets up and turns around. Her hair was done differently and I had never seen her in a bikini but after a second, I realize it's the fiancee. I never would have dreamed she would do this. It was a setup involving the best man, fiancee and apparently the grooms mom.

I expected the video to surface at the wedding reception later, but it didn't.

 

[tryan]

When a good friends sister married she was one of 6 kids. So they decided to do the reception at home ... a pot luck dinner with relatives bringing a dish.

Well something at the dinner made everyone SICK. When the lines to the bathrooms wrapped out of the house, people started hurling vomit in the bushes! Including the BRIDE!

Shortest reception ever.

 

[MooreBonds]

I'm having trouble following this story, but it sure is fun trying

LOL - it took me 2 readings through to finally understand it and get the soap opera mapped out in my head!

The only story I can think of is when my sister was married. She's the spendthrift type that loves spending other peoples' money. She kept pushing and pushing, and since she was the first of my siblings to marry, she got what she wanted. Ended up with a reception at an internationally renown 5 star hotel chain. One of her husband's relatives (her husband's aunt's husband), "Larry", had a really arrogant attitude. There were rumors of a mob connection, but he likes to hear himself talk. I never wanted to test that theory.

Anyway, at the reception, they bring out the entree, a steak. "Larry" doesn't like the way it's cooked, and wants it sent back. I don't recall if they did send it back once, or if they politely told him that they couldn't do that, or what, but at any rate, the wedding manager in charge at the hotel comes over to Larry's table to see what the issue is. He makes his demands, and then, to drive home the point that he's a macho, arrogant SOB, has the gall to tell her an extremely foul comment (along the lines of 'part of her female body probably has a foul odor'), to which she turned around and left. He has to repeat the comment about her to the waiter that was at their table.

A real winner!

As you might have guessed, despite the high cost of my sister's wedding they ended up divorcing some years later. I don't recall if Larry ended up getting divorced later or what (I think he was on his second marriage at that time).

 

[Revlefty]

Being a minister...I have some stories. Just one for now. Forty years ago, I attended a wedding where the bride's uncle from Iowa was going to officiate. Back then, out of state ministers needed to register their credentials with the county' clerk. "Uncle ed from Iowa" didn't register. He performed the wedding and my minister friend and his bride went on their honeymoon thinking they were married, but instead spent the week totally unaware that they were not. It didn't get straightened out until they wad spent a week "living in sin." That was forty years ago. Times have changed.