The comments by Yahoo users below the article are even funnier. Sample:
"buy a scratcher and ask the clerk if you can rub one out at the counter."
"See their morals, their code, it's a bad joke. Dropped at the first sign of trouble. They're only as good as the world allows them to be. I'll show you. When the chips are down, these civilized people, they'll eat each other.
See, I'm not a monster... I'm just ahead of the curve."
- The Joker