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Hooking Up With My Old College Roommate
Old 07-12-2019, 03:02 PM   #1
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Hooking Up With My Old College Roommate

We shared an apartment for a few years, from 1972-'74...and pretty much did all of our partying together during that time. Our girlfriends were also roommates so we were a pretty steady 4some.

Over the last 45 years we've seen each other less than a half-dozen times. He and his wife stopped by our lake home on their way from Kentucky to Maine.

Our relationship is one of those that seems to never miss a beat. No awkward moments as we realize our differences have surpassed our similarities. We still seem to be able to know what the other is thinking. It's really fun.

We are older, slower, heavier, grayer. I'm balder but he is not. We reminisced about the meals we cooked, the adventures and mis-adventures. It's as if the years never parted us. We had a lot of laughs in a couple of days.

One of the gems of our visit was when he was talking about their wedding and all of a sudden he pointed at me and said "you were my best man"...and I said..."uh, no I wasn't. You were MY best man, but your brother was your best man."...His wife confirmed this. As it turns out, over the years his brother and he have had a falling he looked at me and said "You SHOULD have been my best man"...

We are both comfortably retired and we were talking about money. He's doing some major house repairs and we got laughing about how some of our $5,000 dollar projects turned into 25K projects and I told him I have stopped worrying abut that stuff. The epiphany for me was not that I've realized I'm wealthy, but that I realized that in 14 years I'll be 80.

Off they went, and I am once again reminded of the power of old friendships, and their ability to withstand the passing of time. Also I was reminded that since we live so far apart we probably won't have very many such times again, so I should do my best to do my part to get us back together as often as we can.

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Old 07-12-2019, 04:19 PM   #2
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only had one college roommate for a couple years. Great memories. We never stayed connected after college and he passed away a few years ago. Wish we had stayed in contact.

T.S. Eliot:
Old men ought to be explorers
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Old 07-12-2019, 05:01 PM   #3
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My roommate for the first two years of college died when I was still in grad school. My roommate for the next 5+ years of college still lives with me today... DW!

My best friend from college was never a roommate. He and I worked together, played tennis almost every day, partied together, and he was my best man. After college, he moved back home to the east coast. I stayed in Texas. We lost track of each other until about 10 years ago, when we hooked up on Facebook. I'm not very active on Facebook. He is. And turns out, he's one of "those guys" on Facebook... daily political rants and arguments. So, we still don't interact much and it's unlikely we will ever see each other.

Time moves on.
Retired at 52 in July 2013. On to better things...
AA: 55% stock, 15% real estate, 27% bonds, 3% cash
WR: 2.7% SI: 2 pensions, some rental income, SS later
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Old 07-12-2019, 05:10 PM   #4
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No male college roommates in my history. I rented a house while in college (started @ 24 years old, ex GI) and shared it with a female. We were engaged and she was already through with college and was an elementary school teacher. I was full time on the GI Bill and worked part time. When I graduated and got a good job offer in Detroit, she elected to not go to Michigan so we parted company. It was a good 4 + years though!

We kept in communication for a few years afterward. We both learned a lot from our years together. Thinking back, I probably should have not moved on, but that's water over the dam now.
Saying on a Get Well card from a friend of mine after I had my second hip replacement - "Don't let the Old Man in..."
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Old 07-12-2019, 06:44 PM   #5
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Just got an e-mail from my college roommate - I'm going to CT for her oldest daughter's wedding next month. She wanted all of her mother's side of the family to know who was coming and when and included me on the list: "We've been friends for 44 years so she's just about like family"
"One of the funny things about the stock market is that every time one person buys, another sells, and both think they are astute." William Feather
ER'd Oct. 2010 at 53. Life is good.
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Old 07-12-2019, 07:12 PM   #6
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You do realize the term “hooking up” has taken on a whole new meaning, right?
...with no reasonable expectation for ER, I'm just here auditing the AP class.Retired 8/1/15.
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Old 07-12-2019, 07:25 PM   #7
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I coordinate our own ROMEO version of quarterly dinners with about a dozen of my college buds. We've been doing this for 6 years now. Every time we have great laughs (rule #1 is politics cannot be discussed as there are strong feelings on both sides) and the novelty has not worn off. We even have a subset of 5 of us that ride bikes together.
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Old 07-12-2019, 07:52 PM   #8
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Lot's of stories, none I can share here!
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Old 07-12-2019, 08:11 PM   #9
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My oldest and best friend is my college roommate. We lived together all 4 years in a very difficult college environment (USNA). Later, I was his best man and he was mine. I take as much pride in the accomplishments of his two daughters as if they were my own. Since he lives in GA and I in CT, we see each other infrequently, but the years just melt away when we do. It was a fortunate day indeed when we first met.
Living an analog life in the Digital Age.
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Old 07-12-2019, 08:37 PM   #10
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My last year in college, I lived with a fraternity brother everyone called Rollo. I went to college driving a 1964 Plymouth Valiant. Rollo showed up in a brand new Jaguar XKE.

We lived in a modest house in the state capitol. Rollo lived on 600 acres 40 miles south in one of the nicest and largest antebellum mansions in the South--with 12 wooden columns 45' tall on the front. His front yard was a manicured 250 acres with miles of white wood fencing. The barn behind the big house was full of Tennessee Walking Horses--show horses.

When you went to Rollo's house, a butler answered the door and he spent the afternoon as our personal bartender. They also had a cook and maids to pickup after us. His mother only cooked one meal in her life, and no one in the family ever worked. And boy could they throw a party.

I keep track of Rollo on Facebook, and talk to him every week. He's selling Florida luxury real estate--something he knows a lot about. We wouldn't let him be anything but a regular guy, no matter how he was raised. But the 1970's were tough on trust fund babies, and living the high life had to lower the family coffers substantially.
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Old 07-12-2019, 09:47 PM   #11
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My best friend from that era was my NYC roommate. Her last husband was quite a bit older and a financial advisor while my first (and hopefully last) husband was a poor architect. She would share with me their great international trips and grand home. About a year ago her husband died and it turned out that the husband's investments to care for her in retirement were a drain - to the extent that she and her stepchildren are renouncing their inheritances. I learned that those fantastic travels were rewards for selling insurance to his clients. She now has a guy roommate to help care for the home which she will sell to move to Florida.

I really enjoy getting together with her and am thankful that I didn't get caught up in that lifestyle. Better be a turtle than a hare.
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Old 07-12-2019, 10:57 PM   #12
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I recently visited with one of my college roommates and his wife [who I also knew as she was his gf throughout college. Had not seen them in 30 years but had a great time. We are looking to add our third roommate to the group for next visit. He also married his college GF so we all know each other.

Was amazing how well we get along after so much time.with little contact.

I regulalrly stay in touch with friends from middle school and high school and they remain mu dearest friends. We get together and talk for hours with no breaks.

I have some to understand these longtime friendships cannot be replaced, and they are very important. We all work to maintain them.
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Old 07-13-2019, 08:19 AM   #13
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I just saw one of my closest friends from our middle/high school years, as he was in town for business. He's also coming to this year's WhiskyFest, which we'll attend with two other close friends of our from that time. It's been a while since the four of us have gotten together, but I usually see one or two of them every year. And next month my best friend from college (after my partner) is having a milestone birthday, so I'll be traveling a couple of hours to see him and his family.

Like everyone said, when I see these people, it's as if we had never moved away from each other. They are as much my family as my blood relations, in some cases more so. (We chose one of them to be a contingent guardian for our kid.)
-Looking to FIRE in the mid-2020s, which would be our mid-50s.
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Old 07-13-2019, 09:52 AM   #14
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I lived in the fraternity house with a brother that was quite a character. I visited him 3 years ago when we traveled to Hawaii.

My buddy went to Hawaii to surf in 1977--and he has never been back to the mainland. He recently purchased a pair of shoes--his first since he moved there. He's worn flip flops all these years.

He ran a restaurant and bar for many years--after quitting drinking in 1978. And he finally got married about 4 years ago. He takes care of 15 swimming pools and has a big truck patch (garden) selling rare vegetables.

And he's the first 72 year old surfer boy I've ever seen--with so many great friends. And he's just as happy as any person can be.

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