How are you wired?

[38Chevy454]

IMHO work ethic is something you either have or you don't.

Agree, some people will just never have it.

I have worked full time since 15, with part-time periods during school. Worked my way through college. I am firm believer in you get what you work for. Probably why some think I am a hardass and unsympathetic to many social issues. Tired of having my wallet tapped by gov't to give to those with their hand out.

I often think of how things would have turned out if being born 40-50 years earlier. Sure seems to fit my views closer than current times.

 

[Winemaker]

I'm totally with you rayinpenn; if it was my kid, we would be in hospital in surgery with the doc trying to get my foot out of his a$$.

Recently, I needed some manual labor done at one of my rental units, tearing done a wall, cleaning out behind, rebuilding, and backfilling with #2 limestone. Not a very big project, but something that was going to take some physical effort. I got a quote from a masonry/wall outfit and they gave me a $6,000 figure. They were out of their mind!

I enlisted the help of a friend's college son to assist me in my endeavors. Start at 8 am sharp, work in the shade til noon, my tools, $20.00/hr cash paid every other day. I provided water, ice, safety glasses, and gloves.

He never once showed up on time in 2 weeks. He broke my hammer handle, my pick handle, broke the handle off my wheelbarrow, spilled 2 loads of new limestone on the driveway with the new barrow and would not work after the 2nd week. He turned down an offer to meet someone that needed his college skills on the weekend in the evening.

I did get the wall torn down and rebuilt for under $1000.00 though, I worked the last week by myself.

 

[HFWR]

I've w*rked at a variety of j*bs, from blue collar to white, log skidder to MBE, third shift, compressed shift, corporate, small business, factory floor, cubicle...

Some people are just top performers, some are slackers, and most try to do a good job. But sleeping on the job is probably not as uncommon as you'd think...

 

[FUEGO]

I've always been pretty lazy and never developed much of a work ethic. Fortunately I avoided getting fired just long enough to save up a million or two and be okay when the ax finally fell. Competent, but lazy.

Other than my father also being lazy, I don't think my laziness has much to do with how I was raised. Maybe it is hereditary? Maybe I am wired that way?

 

[Pilot2013]

Be careful that you don't let your son's behavior at one time (slacking on his job) become your definition of his character. He screwed up, you caught him, and reprimanded him. Let him have the chance to show that he can learn from his mistakes. Don't pigeon hole your son into a "lazy kid who will never amount to anything".

To some extent, my DH has pigeon holed our youngest daughter. She is wired differently than DH, me, or the oldest. (It was eye-opening when she did Myers-Briggs at school and came up the exact opposite of my ISTJ). Compared to the rest of us in the family, she flies by the seat of her pants, doesn't plan, and procrastinates. I learned years ago to let her do things her own way and suffer the consequences. She's turned into a responsible adult that tends to be spontaneous, friendly, and fun-loving. I appreciate that in her. DH, on the other hand, still thinks of her as a disorganized teen who is just hours away from screwing up somehow. Unfortunately his attitude comes through loud and clear to DD and she resents it, and I fear it's affected their relationship.

It's somewhat of a quagmire, and I think different people react differently. My Dad was a bubble head (Submariner) and was out to sea half of my life (6 months at at time for those unfamiliar) until last year or two of high school. It was always bitter sweet when he would be coming home, because I knew I was going to "pay" for how I took advantage of his absence. But I always wanted him to come home anyway, and I think he made me who I am now despite some tough love. I think the key is to add the love, and let them know when you're proud of them more than when you're not.

 

[pb4uski]

IMHO work ethic is something you either have or you don't.

I'm not so sure about that.

In my youth, I was a slacker... I did the minimum necessary to stay out of trouble... including grades, etc. I had lackluster grades my first semester of college because I was having so much fun being my first time away from home but as Mom wrote out the check for the second semester she proclaimed that it would be the last one unless my grades improved... they did.

My epiphany was a summer job between my freshman and sophomore year of college where I was working in a hot, humid tire shop changing tires and doing oil changes alongside guys who were just a couple years older than me. I was making minimum wage and they were making only a little more than minimum wage. I realized that unless I took advantage of the college opportunity in front of me that I was likely to end up in their shoes... nice salt of the earth people but working their butts off for relatively low wages. I was consistently on Dean's List the rest of my college career but my low grades that freshman year resulted in my missing graduating with honors by 0.0025!

My second epiphany was about a year into my first job after college. I was working hard but now had money and was also having fun partying at night and burning the candle at both ends. I walked into my first annual review and the managing partner started with "PB, we think you are a smart young lad" and I'm thinking... ah, this is going to be good... ka-ching! But then he added, "but we think you are not applying yourself worth a lick" and burst my bubble. He went on to tell me, in so many words, that in 6 months they would either promote me or I would be gone. They promoted me 4 months later.

All was well after that... the only thing I don't know is whether these experiences developed work ethic that I didn't have to begin with or whether I had it to begin with and these experiences brought it out.

 

[Pilot2013]

I'm not so sure about that.

I agree. I was just having a conversation about this with my DD. I graduated with my BS by the skin of my teeth. Would have been the first real failure for me, and would have been devastating in my opinion for me. my MBA subsequently was a 4.0. Same with being fired from a job. Never happened, and I think the feeling that it would be such a "failure" and the associated stigma of it, that kept/keeps me driving on.

That being said, no body ever gave a sh!t about either GPA (the 2.02, or the 4.0). Also, my fear of failure that I am sure was given to me by my upbringing (and I am STILL glad that I have), probably kept me in my first marriage WAY too long. I saw that as failure too, of the biggest type.

Today, I see things a little differently. My DD is working for a company that I am very familiar with. She is creating so much personal stress for herself that I am worried for her, and found myself coaching her that "she is not the owner, take it down a few notches". Never thought that would be my advice.

 

[target2019]

Agreed, I've dropped it thankfully he doesn't read ER.

Someday the incident will be part of friendly banter at family get togethers.
Funny how this has brought up past memories of my son and some of his teen year follies. I'd like to knock him on the head, but by the time the 10000 mile trip was over, I'd just give him a hug.