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Old 05-07-2021, 11:41 AM   #41
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.......... we didn’t want to offer any explanations for him to try to counter.
+1. Excellent.
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Old 05-07-2021, 11:48 AM   #42
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Originally Posted by Aerides View Post
The neighbor hasn't taken "No" for an answer, therefore, they should no longer be afforded polite consideration.

I disagree with this. One can continue to say no and be very polite. I do this all the time with salespeople. If they get bent out of shape, that is on them. But I prefer to not justify them getting bent out of shape due to my impoliteness .


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Originally Posted by Major Tom View Post
"Thank you for your offer, but we don't want to rent it out" is a reply that can be delivered politely yet firmly. It can be repeated if the request is made again.

I agree with this. One does not need to say "no" in different ways, just in one way.
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Old 05-07-2021, 11:49 AM   #43
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Liability is a concern. But there are ways to reduce that. I could hear him saying, I’m happy to sign a liability waiver. Thus we didn’t want to offer any explanations for him to try to counter.



This reminds me of the Debecker book "The gift of fear" it's a great book which we gave to both our DD"s as they reached high school.


He talks about stalkers and if you ignore their first 20 phone calls and then tell them to leave you alone on the 21st, all you have taught them is to be persistent. If you have any young people in your life, you might give them a copy of this book.
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Old 05-07-2021, 12:32 PM   #44
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I am reminded of a man who began stalking me in college. I was 19 and he was 33. I had found his company amusing, but when he wanted to advance the relationship I grew cool. I would not date someone so much older, but was willing to stay friends on campus. He kept pestering me, though, and I finally told him I didn't want to see him any more. He showed up at my home, very drunk, demanding to see me...to be met on the doorstep by my 66-year-old Dad, holding his .45.

He never bothered me after that

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He talks about stalkers and if you ignore their first 20 phone calls and then tell them to leave you alone on the 21st, all you have taught them is to be persistent. If you have any young people in your life, you might give them a copy of this book.
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Old 05-07-2021, 12:56 PM   #45
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Originally Posted by Music Lover View Post
The problem with being kind and tactful is that sometimes they think you just need a little more prompting to say yes. It took me a lot longer than it should have to learn that a polite but firm no immediately is almost always the best option.


Correct. Anything beyond, “No, I’m just not interested” creates openings to be wedged further.
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Old 05-07-2021, 01:33 PM   #46
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If he owns livestock, he should also know his way around fencing, or at least know some fence contractors. "Months" to repair a 5 wire fence?
He's got the cart before the horse here. Fix fence, get horse then. Build a corral fence set in a corner of the pasture till it's fixed.



I agree a simple no is sufficient, going into fabricated detail or real detail reasons will give people fodder to argue with you. If he pushes back, you know he is not respectful.
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Old 05-07-2021, 05:30 PM   #47
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Originally Posted by Major Tom View Post
"Thank you for your offer, but we don't want to rent it out" is a reply that can be delivered politely yet firmly. It can be repeated if the request is made again.
+1

No need to be rude, nor any more justification necessary.
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Old 05-07-2021, 06:26 PM   #48
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+1

No need to be rude, nor any more justification necessary.



I'm just curious why when someone makes an unsolicited offer that you have no interest in and you politically tell them No, why you have to say Thank you for the offer!! This is the second go round. You don't mean thank you for the offer, so why say it?


This makes Thank yous pretty much worthless.
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Old 05-07-2021, 06:34 PM   #49
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I'm just curious why when someone makes an unsolicited offer that you have no interest in and you politically tell them No, why you have to say Thank you for the offer!! This is the second go round. You don't mean thank you for the offer, so why say it?

This makes Thank yous pretty much worthless.

Fine. No "Thank you" then. One could just say "No, we do not like to rent it out". Again and again if necessary.

I am easy. The point is that the OP does not want to make it worse with a neighbor, when they just moved into the neighborhood.
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Old 05-07-2021, 06:38 PM   #50
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Fine. No "Thank you" then. One could just say "No, we do not like to rent it out". Again and again if necessary.

I am easy.



LOL, my oldest GD would do this all the time..example I say GD please hold the rail going down the steps..GD "No Thank you"


In other words, I can't hear you, in the OP's case they can't hear the No.
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Old 05-07-2021, 06:54 PM   #51
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Joylush mentioned the barn is in use, the neighbor is now seeking pasture when he already has pasture. Any chance the land is a rectangle? If so he could fence across the middle of his pasture allowing horses on one side and work on the other. Rinse and repeat. The middle fence would also allow pasture rotation later too.
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Old 05-07-2021, 07:19 PM   #52
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If he owns livestock, he should also know his way around fencing, or at least know some fence contractors. "Months" to repair a 5 wire fence?
I read the original post but that part slipped by me without registering. I just went back and read it again. Why will it take months to fix a fence?
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Old 05-07-2021, 10:11 PM   #53
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I have a neighbor that used to ask the same thing. Told them no because I prefer not to have others on my property and because of potential liability. They asked a couple more times and I gave them the same answer. Eventually they quit asking.
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Old 05-09-2021, 01:27 PM   #54
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Joylush mentioned the barn is in use, the neighbor is now seeking pasture when he already has pasture. Any chance the land is a rectangle? If so he could fence across the middle of his pasture allowing horses on one side and work on the other. Rinse and repeat. The middle fence would also allow pasture rotation later too.
That’s exactly how it is fenced. It’s fenced all the way around (large rectangle). The back area contained the barn and is where we will be building soon. The front area is empty. I think he wanted the barn area but when he saw it was in use asked about the other separately fenced area.

So in his mind it’s not being used (and it’s not). We just bought it in January and will be building a large workshop on it. The whole explanation he gave doesn’t make sense to us (he has a pasture, and why can’t he just fix his own fence if that’s the issue). We just didn’t feel comfortable about it but didn’t want to rub the guy the wrong way. My husband was going to offer to help him fix his fence but when he found out he has two sons who live with him decided he didn’t want to do that either. Sometimes you just get a feeling about things....
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Old 05-09-2021, 01:49 PM   #55
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So in his mind it’s not being used (and it’s not). We just bought it in January and will be building a large workshop on it. The whole explanation he gave doesn’t make sense to us (he has a pasture, and why can’t he just fix his own fence if that’s the issue). We just didn’t feel comfortable about it but didn’t want to rub the guy the wrong way. My husband was going to offer to help him fix his fence but when he found out he has two sons who live with him decided he didn’t want to do that either. Sometimes you just get a feeling about things....
So, because you're not currently using your land the neighbor thinks he should be allowed to use it? That's irrelevant. Are his sons old enough and physically able to help him repair the fence? It's not rocket science after all.

A bit OT but similar...I have 1.67 acres of land and a large double garage in the city. Some people think that just because I have space that I'd be happy to store their quad, trailer, or extra car tires for them. The answer is always no.
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Old 05-09-2021, 02:20 PM   #56
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Originally Posted by Major Tom View Post
"Thank you for your offer, but we don't want to rent it out" is a reply that can be delivered politely yet firmly. It can be repeated if the request is made again.
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Originally Posted by NW-Bound View Post
+1

No need to be rude, nor any more justification necessary.
+1
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Old 05-09-2021, 02:36 PM   #57
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So, because you're not currently using your land the neighbor thinks he should be allowed to use it? That's irrelevant. Are his sons old enough and physically able to help him repair the fence? It's not rocket science after all.

A bit OT but similar...I have 1.67 acres of land and a large double garage in the city. Some people think that just because I have space that I'd be happy to store their quad, trailer, or extra car tires for them. The answer is always no.
I agree completely. Just trying to understand how he might be thinking. And yes, sons seem able-bodied, one is 19. The man asking isn’t all that old either, maybe 45-ish.

We just need to practice saying no. Lots of good suggestions here and nobody seemed to think we weren’t being reasonable. Sometimes it helps to get opinions.
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Old 05-09-2021, 04:36 PM   #58
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Maybe you should offer to buy his horses for $200-300 each since he doesn't have a place to keep them.



That would let him know how much you think his horses are worth and that you don't think he can afford to care for them.

Done. LOL!
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Old 05-09-2021, 04:52 PM   #59
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One of the good things about getting older, I am better at saying no and not doing things that I don't want to do. Covid helped with that.

This seems like a pushy question to me and I don't think you owe your neighbor any further info or explanation.
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Old 05-10-2021, 06:11 PM   #60
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Some great answers and points made by all. How does this reply sound:

Hi Neighbor, I appreciate the offer but still must decline. I understand you only need a temporary place for your horses, but we have plans for the property and are not prepared to have anyone use the pasture at this time. Thank you for understanding.
+1
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