I'm Going to Mexico

[Eagle43]

Dear President Bush:

I'm about to plan a little trip with my family and extended family,
and I would like to ask you to assist me.* I'm going to walk across
the border from the U.S.* into Mexico, and I need to make a few
arrangements.* I know you can help with this.

I plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas, passports,
immigration quotas and laws.* I'm sure they handle those things the
same way you do here.

So, would you mind telling your buddy, President Vicente Fox, that
I'm on my way over?* Please let him know that I will be expecting
the following:
1. Free medical care for my entire family.

2.* English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might
need, whether I use them or not.

3. All government forms need to be printed in English.

4. I want my kids to be taught by English-speaking teachers.

5. Schools need to include classes on American culture and history.

6.* I want my kids to see the American flag flying on the top of the
flag pole at their school with the Mexican flag flying lower down.

7.* Please plan to feed my kids at school for both breakfast and
lunch.

8.* I will need a local Mexican driver's license so I can get easy
access to government services.

9.* I do not plan to have any car insurance, and I won't make any
effort to learn local traffic laws.

10.* In case one of the Mexican police officers does not get the
memo from Pres.* Fox to leave me alone, please be sure that all
police officers speak English.

11.* I plan to fly the U.S.* flag from my house top, put flag decals
on my car, and have a gigantic celebration on July 4th.* I do not
want any complaints or negative comments from the locals.

12.* I would also like to have a nice job without paying any taxes,
and don't enforce any labor laws or tax laws.

13.* Please tell all the people in the country to be extremely nice
and never say a critical word about me, or about the strain I might
place on the economy.

14. Eventually I want to be able to vote and have all election materials
and notices sent to me in English with Spanish as a second language..

I know this is an easy request because you already do all these
things for all the people who come to the U.S. from Mexico.*

I am sure that Pres.* Fox won't mind returning the favor if you ask him
nicely. However, if he gives you any trouble, just invite him to go quail
hunting with your V.P.

[poboy]

Perhaps you might want an english/spanish speaking attorney provided should the situation arise.

[Nords]

Quote:

Originally Posted by poboy Perhaps you might want an english/spanish speaking* attorney provided should the situation arise.

"Send money, guns, & lawyers"...

[justin]

I was really expecting a different thread I just got back from the library with 5 guidebooks on traveling in Mexico and thought I might get some pointers here.

[BigMoneyJim]

Quote:

Originally Posted by justin I was really expecting a different thread I just got back from the library with 5 guidebooks on traveling in Mexico and thought I might get some pointers here.

Heh, yeah, with all the people retiring and heading to cambodia/thailand/costa rica I was getting in a congratulatory mood when clicking the link.