is this rude ?

[Jenna]

I posted for free in Craigslist two audio cables and one video cable with the RCA connectors.

Someone emailed and the email "name" shows up as craigslist reply 267e in my webmail.

To top it off, the email itself contained Nice cables can I pick them up tomorrow afternoon
So I responded, Hi, Tomorrow about what time? {my first name}.
He/she responds 3:30 Is that ok

I am annoyed.
Should I be?

For items under $20 and free items-we leave items on the porch-and ask them to leave cash under that mat. We have never had someone short us. Most people are honest. And its gets rid of things quickly. I never share my name..LOL

 

[Philliefan33]

To be fair, retire-early did not say that was the problem. That was simply my speculation. On a board where it is understood all are using a pseudonym, no offense is intended nor should be implied by adhering to that convention. It would, however, be somewhat discourteous if I sent a personal message to you signed with my real name and you did not respond in kind.



I have noticed similar curt behavior online. Usually, it appears among young people who have "grown up on line" and do not know the social niceties that the majority of us on this board were taught when we were young. Such as when someone tells you their name, it is polite to respond in kind. Or if someone extends a hand, it is polite to shake it, even if you are never going to see that person again. I think it is also courteous to write in complete, properly spelled and grammatically correct sentences, although that also appears to have fallen by the wayside in modern internet communication. Courtesy is the oil that lubricates our social interactions and makes communal life better.

What you call “curt behavior online” is not seen as rude by many, me included. Even when I was using email for w*rk, many replies would be a short “got it” to indicate the email was read. IMO there is no need to compose an email as if we are writing a letter, unless of course it is a more formal request for action or information.

DH drives me nuts trying to write an email. He will be at the computer working on a response for 20 minutes, then want me to proofread. All for something that I would have answered as “thanks, see you then”.

 

[aja8888]

Ha - I made a fancy sign that said " FREE" for the furniture, appliances, electronics and stuff that we sat on the Curb for folks.
The Peckerheads eventually took my sign !
I was proud of that sign... ha !

Well, the sign did say FREE on it, right?

 

[tb001]

Craigslist uses their own, secure email. Both users do not have visibility to the other's real email. Craigslist acts as an intermediary. Names on each account are part of that "from" address. See the attached screen grab from one such buyer to me last November. the circled area was the buyers Craigslist registered name.

But you don’t have to be registered on craigslist to reply to an ad. And craigslist has definitely changed how their anonymizing feature works lately. The last few things I’ve given away it has completely anonymized the email.

Personally, I always sign my name and phone number, mainly because it’s just easier for me to text and because I prefer to deal with people who can write a complete sentence and be socially appropriate. But my experience has been that most people on craigslist interact as the OP described.

I don’t think it’s creepy, but if you do, why engage? Especially for a free item, I would just ignore until someone I was comfortable interacting with responded.

Fwiw, my experience has been that seniors and 20 somethings are the worst offenders.

 

[Teacher Terry]

People on Craigslist were too flaky and now I use Nextdoor or Facebook marketplace.

 

[harllee]

For free stuff I use either Buy Nothing or Freecycle where people have to use their real names. To sell stuff I like Next-door best, people use their real names and are somewhat vetted. If I have to sell or buy something on Craigslist I use the anonymous Craigslist email and never give my name or address, too many flakes on CL. If I sell something on CL I always meet at the local police station to complete the deal, they have a parking area designated for this. If the buyer objects to the police station then I know they are up to no good.

 

[Major Tom]

I think you are overthinking this. Perhaps it's because you're not familiar with the way that Craigslist generates anonymous email addresses. I doubt that the fact that the other person didn't volunteer his/her name was intended as a slight. It's a lot of effort to go to, to give away some cables. I put things like that on the front wall of our house, and they're usually gone the same day. The front wall of our house is well known in the neighborhood for free stuff. A few months ago, I was working on my van. I stopped to talk to a neighbor for a few minutes, and put my tools on the wall for a few minutes. I didn't even turn my back but, as I was talking to the neighbor, a feller walked past us. I greeted him. Shortly after, I noticed that my tools were gone. Had to chase the guy down the street to get my stuff back! He thought they were on the free pile, and was very apologetic!

Anyway, don't go to too much trouble to give away free stuff - certainly not if it's going to stress you out like this. If you're on FB, many neighborhoods have a "Buy Nothing" group. Mine has worked well for me.

 

[RobbieB]

I've sold 5 cars and 2 motorcycles and bought 1 boat on Craigslist. Always met at my or his house

No problems.

 

[CRLLS]

But you don’t have to be registered on craigslist to reply to an ad. And craigslist has definitely changed how their anonymizing feature works lately. The last few things I’ve given away it has completely anonymized the email.

Personally, I always sign my name and phone number, mainly because it’s just easier for me to text and because I prefer to deal with people who can write a complete sentence and be socially appropriate. But my experience has been that most people on craigslist interact as the OP described.

I don’t think it’s creepy, but if you do, why engage? Especially for a free item, I would just ignore until someone I was comfortable interacting with responded.

Fwiw, my experience has been that seniors and 20 somethings are the worst offenders.

I guess at some level, I knew that. Thanks for bringing this up.

 

[jollystomper]

If I sell something on CL I always meet at the local police station to complete the deal, they have a parking area designated for this. If the buyer objects to the police station then I know they are up to no good.

+1


DW and I way back sold a few things to local folks on Craiglist. Our exchange address was the parking lot of the local police station, so no worries. the local police were happy to have folks use their lot for these types of sales.

 

[travelover]

NEVER give out your personal info like that. You are totally setting yourself up to be scammed. Once someone has your phone number it is far easier for them to hack into your accounts. This is a common marketplace scam.

Now who is being paranoid. I do use a Google Voice number, but I suppose the crooks can track that down, too.


Reminds me of the people who hide their license plates in photos on Facebook. Don't they know the license plate is in full view everywhere they drive? And that we know their name?

 

[rk911]

I posted for free in Craigslist two audio cables and one video cable with the RCA connectors.

Someone emailed and the email "name" shows up as craigslist reply 267e in my webmail.

To top it off, the email itself contained Nice cables can I pick them up tomorrow afternoon
So I responded, Hi, Tomorrow about what time? {my first name}.
He/she responds 3:30 Is that ok

I am annoyed.
Should I be?

why do you think you should be?

 

[MC Rider]

I bought some car floor mats for cash from a guy who to the best of my knowledge his name was,

Ilikeburritos.

No problem.

 

[RobbieB]

That would make him trust worthy in my book!

 

[jazz4cash]

Get annoyed when you get "Is X still available?" That's annoying and all too common (I always put in my ads that I will delete when sold).

My view is 180 degrees from that. I ALWAYS inquire if X is still available and consider it polite when it is asked of me. Many, many times I have inquired and the item is gone or if a sale is pending I know to keep watching. A lot of people are not diligent about taking an item down or they just get busy and forget. I’m not gonna commit to deleting an item the very second it is disposed of ( and it may be offered on multiple sites).

I had a large item advertised on Nextdoor and someone made a lowered offer which I accepted but I insisted they see the item. Their vehicle was too small so they asked if I could deliver to their storage unit 30 minutes away. I said sure but I wanted $25 non refundable delivery fee paid in advance so they could decline the purchase but I would keep the delivery fee. They accused me of being a scammer! Talk about rude!!

 

[travelover]

........... Their vehicle was too small so they asked if I could deliver to their storage unit 30 minutes away. ......

When I was moving I gave away a lot of furniture - free. A number of people wanted me to either load it into their tiny cars or deliver it. Being the monster I am, I refused.

 

[disneysteve]

Their vehicle was too small so they asked if I could deliver to their storage unit 30 minutes away.

I've had people ask me to deliver a low cost item to them some distance away. I've always declined as the time and gas wasn't worth it. Maybe if I was selling something expensive, I'd consider it, but not for $10 or $20.

 

[FLSUnFIRE]

My view is 180 degrees from that. I ALWAYS inquire if X is still available and consider it polite when it is asked of me. Many, many times I have inquired and the item is gone or if a sale is pending I know to keep watching. A lot of people are not diligent about taking an item down or they just get busy and forget. I’m not gonna commit to deleting an item the very second it is disposed of ( and it may be offered on multiple sites).

I had a large item advertised on Nextdoor and someone made a lowered offer which I accepted but I insisted they see the item. Their vehicle was too small so they asked if I could deliver to their storage unit 30 minutes away. I said sure but I wanted $25 non refundable delivery fee paid in advance so they could decline the purchase but I would keep the delivery fee. They accused me of being a scammer! Talk about rude!!

Well you are wrong! I state in my ads that I will pull the ad when not available (usually while the ultimate buyer is still in my driveway). So asking means you didn't read the ad or you are heading into this with the assumption I am either a liar or unreliable. It's a minor irritant but IME, at least 50% of the people that open with "is this still available" never respond when I say "yes, it is when would you like to see it, I am available XXX" People that ask additional questions, or open with a proposed time to see it/pick it up are more reliable.



If I am on the buying end, I'll usually send something like. "Hi, I'm FLSunFIRE, I'm interested in X and would like to see it tomorrow morning if possible." -Or a variation, usually asking approximately where it is located if the location is vague in the ad, or any specifics not mentioned in the ad.

 

[FLSUnFIRE]

When I was moving I gave away a lot of furniture - free. A number of people wanted me to either load it into their tiny cars or deliver it. Being the monster I am, I refused.

I helped deliver quite a few pieces when I was moving (sold, not given away!). If they asked in advance of meeting, I quoted a price that made it worth it to me (I needed to sell the house so wasn't trying to profit off moving but at least wanted gas paid for). If it was something easily damaged I refused or told them up front that I'll help but it is theirs and any damage in transit is at their risk. One benefit of delivering was that those people never haggled and I always priced above my desired price as many (including me) will always try negotiating.



I had several clueless people that were trying to fit too much into their little cars and would I ask them where they were going. If not too far, I helped move the item in my truck. Most were obviously struggling and grateful for the help and often insisted on paying me even if I didn't ask. One asked me if I liked beer.... her husband worked for a distributor and I got hooked up with several pints of a good local beer as a thank you.

 

[jazz4cash]

It’s funny sometimes when people show up with small vehicles but I still recall when I was on the other end. About half the time I’m getting rid of stuff for a relative because “ I know about the internet” so I’m extending a favor. I’ve disassembled items and provided hands on instructions. It’s not unusual for them to glance over at my little pickup truck parked in the driveway and I’ll sometimes offer delivery for a fee. As others have suggested the money is secondary to finding a good home for the no longer needed items but I have only rarely given my items for free except to charity.

 

[CRLLS]

Well you are wrong! I state in my ads that I will pull the ad when not available (usually while the ultimate buyer is still in my driveway). So asking means you didn't read the ad or you are heading into this with the assumption I am either a liar or unreliable. It's a minor irritant but IME, at least 50% of the people that open with "is this still available" never respond when I say "yes, it is when would you like to see it, I am available XXX" People that ask additional questions, or open with a proposed time to see it/pick it up are more reliable.



If I am on the buying end, I'll usually send something like. "Hi, I'm FLSunFIRE, I'm interested in X and would like to see it tomorrow morning if possible." -Or a variation, usually asking approximately where it is located if the location is vague in the ad, or any specifics not mentioned in the ad.

How is a person inquiring to know that you are so reliable when I would say >50% of the time things are already sold, spoken for or get no response from the poster? Especially if the request is a short (<1 or 2 days) period of time after the initial listing. I do not like the automated click "Is this still available?" built into the Facebook Marketplace. Many times, it is accidentally pressed and before they know it, the request is sent. I know I have accidentally done this too. When I do respond inquiring, I try to make it easy to discern that my inquiry is a real inquiry and not accidental. But not all prospective buyers are like that. As a seller, I take the good with the bad. It is part of the unwritten understanding that when I post, I will get some accidental responses along with some deadbeats. I don't get upset about it.

 

[imnontrad]

If I am using my phone to send messages, I tend to make them short because typing on that little screen is a pain.
But I would suggest arranging to meet at a neutral place like a shopping center or local police station parking lot instead of your house to preserve your privacy.

 

[AnneG]

I've done a a lot of business on craigslist. Yes, the replies are anonymous to keep people from getting and selling your email address for spam. I try to feel them out first because Ive had a lot of spam and odd interactions where people seem like they are fishing for information. For something small, I would plan meet up in a public area near my house. If its big stuff like furniture, I make sure they have transport before giving them my address.

On another note, there are sites like the Buy Nothing Project and Freecycle where you can give things away that are a little less intrusive than craigslist. Honestly, I don't even think it occurs to people to give them your name. Most people prefer a somewhat anonymous transaction anyway.

 

[Gearhead Jim]

I've done several CraigsList sales that were arranged through their anonymous email system, met the buyer at a restaurant in a good part of town reasonably close. Buyer inspects item in the trunk of my car, we go back inside and exchange cash, back outside where buyer takes item and leaves.

I would never invite someone unknown to come to my house for the transaction.

 

[papaof2]

Craig's List uses anonymous emails for the protection of givers/sellers and receivers/buyers.

I always add my name to a response on CL but then I'm old and do some things out of habit ;-)

Some CL users only want to deal with texts and they specifically ignore email. That's fine - if you don't have or want to take the time to check for email, you lose the opportunity of a taker.