People like that shouldn't be allowed to go to sea...
It's funny joke Thursday! 2005 - 2020
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Geek humor I wish I'd thought of first:
"We don't allow faster-than-light neutrinos in here," said the bartender. A neutrino walks into a bar.
Particles Found to Travel Faster than Speed of Light: Scientific American
"We don't allow faster-than-light neutrinos in here," said the bartender. A neutrino walks into a bar.
Particles Found to Travel Faster than Speed of Light: Scientific American
That device also resembles one I designed and built in 1970. I was at a SAGE Direction Center (the big blockhouses with the radar inputs where we controlled the interceptors that shot down the invading Soviet bombers).
I had it professionally labeled with its (invented) nomenclature, the AN/FJQ-13, which stood for "electromechanical special purpose device."
Those who asked what it was for were given the standard "If I tell you, I'll have to kill you" response.
But my boss, who nobody could stand, never asked, because he couldn't admit that he didn't know more than everyone else. He merely glanced at it whenever he passed my desk, and never said a word about it, despite the fact that I had it flashing different patterns of lights every day.
I still get nostalgic about that little box. Someday I might build another one, but with the variety of cheap ICs available today, the possibilities are mind-boggling.
I had it professionally labeled with its (invented) nomenclature, the AN/FJQ-13, which stood for "electromechanical special purpose device."
Those who asked what it was for were given the standard "If I tell you, I'll have to kill you" response.
But my boss, who nobody could stand, never asked, because he couldn't admit that he didn't know more than everyone else. He merely glanced at it whenever he passed my desk, and never said a word about it, despite the fact that I had it flashing different patterns of lights every day.
I still get nostalgic about that little box. Someday I might build another one, but with the variety of cheap ICs available today, the possibilities are mind-boggling.
M Paquette
Moderator Emeritus
ls99 said:
No, no! It's fascinating.
Scientists observe, and develop testable hypotheses to describe what they see. When they develop a simple explanation that describes a very wide range of phenomena, and can be used to make testable predictions of how things behave in the real world, they have a good theory.
Centuries ago, Newton developed his laws of motion. These work very well, letting us engineer all sorts of machines, launch spacecraft, build safe cars, and so forth. Ah, but when we make very sensitive measurements, or deal with extreme conditions of speed, gravity, or the realm of the very small, Newtons Laws are imprecise. That's where special and general relativity come into play. Einstein gave us a better theory, that matched Newton's results under normal conditions, but gave us better results out at the extreme limits.
Now we have an experimental result that is unexpected by our current understanding of physics. If there aren't problems found in the experiment, and this is a reproducible result, then there is something new to learn.
Or we could just be all cynical and call it a scheme by relativistic particle physicists to maintain full employment...
growing_older
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
- Joined
- Jun 30, 2007
- Messages
- 2,657
I think it is a scheme by the relativistic particles to pull a fast one on the physicists who have been bothering them, shooting them around in cyclotrons and generally smashing them into each other at all hours of the day and night. Nature has a practical joke sense of humor.
ls99
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
- Joined
- May 2, 2008
- Messages
- 6,506
Within the quote the bolded is mine.
Once in the realm of particle physics and smashing them little things at high levels of acceleration, Heisenberg seems to rule the day with what can be known and why.
To me it seems like smashing things together in colliders is more akin to learning music by dropping pianos from the fifth floor window. Notes will be produced, a bit lacking in melody and harmony.
Still it is fascinating to see science progress.
Yet the experimenters need to be reminded not to take themselves and their theorems too seriously. After all nature and its processes, at macro, micro, nano and sub-atomic levels existed long before physicists and will be around long after all that is known by humans is extinct along with those who know that they know.
Very curious about the latest measurements, if they are repeatable. Time and lots of $$$$ will tell.
No, no! It's fascinating.
Scientists observe, and develop testable hypotheses to describe what they see. When they develop a simple explanation that describes a very wide range of phenomena, and can be used to make testable predictions of how things behave in the real world, they have a good theory.
---Yes it is fascinating, and very true about theorems and observations.
Centuries ago, Newton developed his laws of motion.
---Huston we have a problem. Newton may have developed laws of motion. I doubt very seriously that any motion or inanimate object or process is aware of or cares about laws. Nature does its thing regardless of Physicists hieroglyphics or reams of roman numerals. Agree that Newton's discoveries and postulates have very good predictive value.
These work very well, letting us engineer all sorts of machines, launch spacecraft, build safe cars, and so forth. Ah, but when we make very sensitive measurements, or deal with extreme conditions of speed, gravity, or the realm of the very small, Newtons Laws are imprecise. That's where special and general relativity come into play. Einstein gave us a better theory, that matched Newton's results under normal conditions, but gave us better results out at the extreme limits.
Now we have an experimental result that is unexpected by our current understanding of physics. If there aren't problems found in the experiment, and this is a reproducible result, then there is something new to learn.
Or we could just be all cynical and call it a scheme by relativistic particle physicists to maintain full employment...
Once in the realm of particle physics and smashing them little things at high levels of acceleration, Heisenberg seems to rule the day with what can be known and why.
To me it seems like smashing things together in colliders is more akin to learning music by dropping pianos from the fifth floor window. Notes will be produced, a bit lacking in melody and harmony.
Still it is fascinating to see science progress.
Yet the experimenters need to be reminded not to take themselves and their theorems too seriously. After all nature and its processes, at macro, micro, nano and sub-atomic levels existed long before physicists and will be around long after all that is known by humans is extinct along with those who know that they know.
Very curious about the latest measurements, if they are repeatable. Time and lots of $$$$ will tell.
packrat44
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
A business man got on an elevator. When he entered, there was a blonde inside who greeted him with a bright, 'T-G-I-F.'
He smiled at her and replied, 'S-H-I-T.'
The blonde was trying to keep it friendly, so she smiled her biggest smile, and said as sweetly as possibly, 'T-G-I-F.'
The man smiled back to her and once again, said, 'S-H-I-T.'
The exasperated blonde finally decided to explain. 'T-G-I-F' means 'Thank Goodness It's Friday.' Get it, duuhhh?'
The man answered, ''S-H-I-T' means 'Sorry, Honey, It's Thursday' !
He smiled at her and replied, 'S-H-I-T.'
The blonde was trying to keep it friendly, so she smiled her biggest smile, and said as sweetly as possibly, 'T-G-I-F.'
The man smiled back to her and once again, said, 'S-H-I-T.'
The exasperated blonde finally decided to explain. 'T-G-I-F' means 'Thank Goodness It's Friday.' Get it, duuhhh?'
The man answered, ''S-H-I-T' means 'Sorry, Honey, It's Thursday' !
mickeyd
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
mickeyd
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Bestwifeever
Moderator Emeritus
- Joined
- Sep 17, 2007
- Messages
- 17,774
The Banana Test
There is a very, very tall coconut tree and there are 4 animals,
A Lion , A Chimp , A Giraffe ,
.....AND...
A Squirrel
They decide to compete to see who is the fastest to get a banana off the tree.
Who do you guess will win?
Your answer will reflect your personality.
So think carefully . . ..
Try and answer within 30 seconds. Got your answer?
Now scroll down to see the analysis.
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
If your answer is:
Lion = you're dull.
Chimpanzee = you're dense.
Giraffe = you're a complete moron.
Squirrel = you're hopeless.
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
A COCONUT TREE DOESN'T HAVE BANANAS.
Obviously you're stressed and overworked.
You should take some time off and relax,
There is a very, very tall coconut tree and there are 4 animals,
A Lion , A Chimp , A Giraffe ,
.....AND...
A Squirrel
They decide to compete to see who is the fastest to get a banana off the tree.
Who do you guess will win?
Your answer will reflect your personality.
So think carefully . . ..
Try and answer within 30 seconds. Got your answer?
Now scroll down to see the analysis.
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
If your answer is:
Lion = you're dull.
Chimpanzee = you're dense.
Giraffe = you're a complete moron.
Squirrel = you're hopeless.
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
A COCONUT TREE DOESN'T HAVE BANANAS.
Obviously you're stressed and overworked.
You should take some time off and relax,
harley
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Doesn't matter. The lion is always going to win, no matter what kind of tree it is. I may be dull, but I'm full.
bruce1
Full time employment: Posting here.
Gentle Thoughts for Today -
Birds of a feather flock together . . . .and then poop on your car.
A penny saved is a government oversight.
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
He who hesitates is probably right.
Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are XL.
Birds of a feather flock together . . . .and then poop on your car.
A penny saved is a government oversight.
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
He who hesitates is probably right.
Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are XL.
too good not to share...
but does it belong under Funny Joke Thursday, FIRE & Money or Politics (or all of the above?):
A Letter from Goldman Sachs « Borowitz Report
but does it belong under Funny Joke Thursday, FIRE & Money or Politics (or all of the above?):
A Letter from Goldman Sachs « Borowitz Report
Sarah in SC
Moderator Emeritus
That letter from Goldman is priceless. I like the idea of the Rage Fund already!
frayne
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
When my Doctor asked me about what I did yesterday, I told him about my day:
"Well, yesterday afternoon, I waded across the edge of a lake, marched up and down a steep hill, stood in a patch of poison ivy, crawled out of quicksand and jumped away from an aggressive rattlesnake."
Inspired by my story, the doctor said, "You must be an awesome outdoorsman!"
"No," I replied, "I'm just a shitty golfer."
"Well, yesterday afternoon, I waded across the edge of a lake, marched up and down a steep hill, stood in a patch of poison ivy, crawled out of quicksand and jumped away from an aggressive rattlesnake."
Inspired by my story, the doctor said, "You must be an awesome outdoorsman!"
"No," I replied, "I'm just a shitty golfer."
bruce1
Full time employment: Posting here.
Some of these are pretty good.
1. In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm and three or more is a congress.
-- John Adams
2. If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed, if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed.
-- Mark Twain
3. Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But then I repeat myself.
-- Mark Twain
4. I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle.
-- Winston Churchill
5. A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.
-- George Bernard Shaw
6. A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money.
-- G. Gordon Liddy
7. Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner.
-- James Bovard, Civil Libertarian (1994)
8. Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries.
-- Douglas Casey, Classmate of Bill Clinton at Georgetown University
9. Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
-- P.J. O'Rourke, Civil Libertarian
10. Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else.
-- Frederic Bastiat, French economist(1801-1850)
11. Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.
-- Ronald Reagan (1986)
12. I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
-- Will Rogers
13. If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free!
-- P.J. O'Rourke
14. In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other.
-- Voltaire (1764)
15. Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't mean politics won't take an interest in you!
-- Pericles (430 B.C.)
16. No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session.
-- Mark Twain (1866)
17. Talk is cheap...except when Congress does it.
-- Anonymous
18. The government is like a baby's alimentary canal, with a happy appetite at one end and no responsibility at the other.
-- Ronald Reagan
19. The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of the blessings. The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing of misery.
-- Winston Churchill
20. The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.
-- Mark Twain
21. The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools.
-- Herbert Spencer, English Philosopher (1820-1903)
22. There is no distinctly Native American criminal class...save Congress. -- Mark Twain
23. What this country needs are more unemployed politicians.
-- Edward Langley, Artist (1928-1995)
24. A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have.
-- Thomas Jefferson
25. We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.
-- Aesop
FIVE BEST SENTENCES
1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity, by legislating the
wealth out of prosperity.
2. What one person receives without working for...another person
must work for without receiving.
3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.
4. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it.
5. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to
work, because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that is the beginning of the end of any nation!
1. In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm and three or more is a congress.
-- John Adams
2. If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed, if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed.
-- Mark Twain
3. Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But then I repeat myself.
-- Mark Twain
4. I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle.
-- Winston Churchill
5. A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.
-- George Bernard Shaw
6. A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money.
-- G. Gordon Liddy
7. Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner.
-- James Bovard, Civil Libertarian (1994)
8. Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries.
-- Douglas Casey, Classmate of Bill Clinton at Georgetown University
9. Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
-- P.J. O'Rourke, Civil Libertarian
10. Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else.
-- Frederic Bastiat, French economist(1801-1850)
11. Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.
-- Ronald Reagan (1986)
12. I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
-- Will Rogers
13. If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free!
-- P.J. O'Rourke
14. In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other.
-- Voltaire (1764)
15. Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't mean politics won't take an interest in you!
-- Pericles (430 B.C.)
16. No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session.
-- Mark Twain (1866)
17. Talk is cheap...except when Congress does it.
-- Anonymous
18. The government is like a baby's alimentary canal, with a happy appetite at one end and no responsibility at the other.
-- Ronald Reagan
19. The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of the blessings. The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing of misery.
-- Winston Churchill
20. The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.
-- Mark Twain
21. The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools.
-- Herbert Spencer, English Philosopher (1820-1903)
22. There is no distinctly Native American criminal class...save Congress. -- Mark Twain
23. What this country needs are more unemployed politicians.
-- Edward Langley, Artist (1928-1995)
24. A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have.
-- Thomas Jefferson
25. We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.
-- Aesop
FIVE BEST SENTENCES
1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity, by legislating the
wealth out of prosperity.
2. What one person receives without working for...another person
must work for without receiving.
3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.
4. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it.
5. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to
work, because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that is the beginning of the end of any nation!
bruce1
Full time employment: Posting here.
Q: What's a mixed feeling?
A: When you see your Mother-In-Law backing off a cliff in your new car.
Q: What's the definition of 'Macho'?
A: Jogging home from your vasectomy.
Q: How do you find a Blind Man in a nudist colony?
A: It's not hard..
A: When you see your Mother-In-Law backing off a cliff in your new car.
Q: What's the definition of 'Macho'?
A: Jogging home from your vasectomy.
Q: How do you find a Blind Man in a nudist colony?
A: It's not hard..
harley
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
I was talking to a good looking young woman the other day, and she asked me if I prefer legs or breasts. I told her what I really like, and now I can't eat at KFC anymore.
ls99
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
- Joined
- May 2, 2008
- Messages
- 6,506
Can you have her to go?
harley
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Ten years ago, Steve Jobs was alive, Bob Hope was alive and Johnny Cash was alive.
Now we’re outta jobs, outta hope and outta cash.
brewer12345
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
- Joined
- Mar 6, 2003
- Messages
- 18,085
Four guys are driving across country together: one from
Idaho, one from Nebraska, one from Florida, and one from New
York.
A short way down the road, the man from Idaho starts to pull
potatoes from his bag and throws them out the window.
The man from Iowa turns to him and asks, "What the heck are
you doing?"
The man from Idaho says, "We have so many of these things in
Idaho they're lying around on the ground. I'm sick of
looking at them!"
A few miles down the road, the man from Nebraska begins
pulling ears of corn from his bag and throwing them out the
window.
The man from Florida asks, "What are you doing that for?"
The Nebraskan replies, "We have so many of these things in
Nebraska, I'm sick of looking at them!"
Inspired by the others, the man from Florida opens the car
door and pushes the New Yorker out.
Idaho, one from Nebraska, one from Florida, and one from New
York.
A short way down the road, the man from Idaho starts to pull
potatoes from his bag and throws them out the window.
The man from Iowa turns to him and asks, "What the heck are
you doing?"
The man from Idaho says, "We have so many of these things in
Idaho they're lying around on the ground. I'm sick of
looking at them!"
A few miles down the road, the man from Nebraska begins
pulling ears of corn from his bag and throwing them out the
window.
The man from Florida asks, "What are you doing that for?"
The Nebraskan replies, "We have so many of these things in
Nebraska, I'm sick of looking at them!"
Inspired by the others, the man from Florida opens the car
door and pushes the New Yorker out.
- Status
