It's funny joke Thursday! - 2021

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Happy Pi Day! As a special bonus, just after the next three digits of Pi at 1:59, this time the clocks jumped forward in celebration. My wall clock's hand even made a full circle, how fitting for honoring Pi. It's good these next digits aren't 2:59, or Pi would have become a victim of the cancel culture this year...

And, something for the Enginerds:
 

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:LOL::LOL:
 

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:LOL::LOL:

An hour outside of Dublin an Irish farmer named Seamus had a car accident. In court, the lorry company's hot-shot solicitor was questioning Seamus.
"Didn't you say to the police at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine?'" asked the solicitor.
Seamus responded, "Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite cow, Bessie, into the..."
"I didn't ask for any details," the solicitor interrupted. "Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine!'?"
Seamus said, "Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the road..."
The solicitor interrupted again and said, "Your Honor, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the police on the scene that he was fine. Now several weeks after the accident, he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question."
By this time, the judge was fairly interested in Seamus's answer and said to the solicitor, "I'd like to hear what he has to say about his cow Bessie."
Seamus thanked the judge and proceeded. "Well as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite cow, into the trailer and was driving her down the road when this huge lorry and trailer came through a stop sign and hit my trailer right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurt, very bad like, and didn't want to move. But I could hear old Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible pain just by her groans.
"Shortly after the accident, a policeman on a motorbike turned up. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her, and saw her condition, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes.
"Then the policeman came across the road, gun still in hand, looked at me, and said, 'How are you feeling?'
"Now judge, what the heck would you have said?"
 
:LOL: Very Timely :)


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(Hey I don't write them, I just post them as found.)
 
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:LOL::LOL::LOL:
 

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Reading facial expressions during Covid:
 

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Fun at the pool despite Covid (these inflatable bubbles are really being sold)
 

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A few days ago the wife asked me to pass the tube with the lip cream. I accidentally gave her the tube with the superglue. Now she doesn't talk to me anymore.
 
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Joey asks the teacher: "Can you get punished for something that you didn't do?" The teacher replies: "Well of course not, that would be very unfair, wouldn't it?" Joey: "Great, I didn't do my homework."
 
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At the start of the Iraq war, a guy enters the bar on Friday evening: "Three beers please". He drinks them all, and then says: "Another three beers please". When the waiter brings them, he says: "You know, I could also bring them one by one, then they'd stay cold?". Says the guy: "No that's alright. You see, my two brothers and I always went to the bar on Friday evening, but now they both shipped out to Iraq, and they asked me to have a beer for them." "Ah, that makes sense, thanks for their service, and let's hope they'll be safe!" says the waiter.

Next Friday, the guy comes again, the waiter nods at him and brings three beers. Says the guy: "Thanks, but I only need two today." The waiter looks shaken and says: "My condolences on the loss of your brother!" Replies the guy: "No, they are both alright, but the doctor told me not to drink anymore."
 
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As Germans, We Really Struggle With The Six Feet Distance Mandate.
Hopefully we can go back to our usual 10 feet distance after being vaccinated.
 
The only resource in the world that is distributed fairly is human intelligence. Everybody is convinced they have enough of it.
 
When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a
Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police
arrived at the scene to find an ill man curled up next to a motor home
near spilled sewage.

A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal
gasoline and plugged his hose into the motor home's sewage tank by
mistake.

The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was
the best laugh he'd ever had.
 
A woman was reporting her car as stolen, and mentioned that there was
a car phone in it. The policeman taking the report called the phone
and told the guy that answered that he had read the ad in the
newspaper and wanted to buy the car.
They arranged to meet, and the thief was arrested.
 
45 year-old Amy Brasher was arrested in San Antonio, Texas, after a
mechanic reported to police that 18 packages of marijuana were packed
in the engine compartment of the car which she had brought to the
mechanic for an oil change.

According to police, Brasher later said that she didn't realize that
the mechanic would have to raise the hood to change the oil.
 
David Posman, 33, was arrested recently in Providence, R.I, after
allegedly knocking out an armored car driver and stealing the closest
four bags of money. It turned out they contained $800 in PENNIES,
weighed 30 pounds each, and slowed him to a stagger during his getaway
so that police officers easily jumped him from behind.
 
Drug-possession defendant Christopher Johns, on trial in March in
Pontiac, Michigan, said he had been searched without a warrant. The
prosecutor said the officer didn't need a warrant because a "bulge" in
Christopher's jacket could have been a gun. Nonsense, said
Christopher, who happened to be wearing the same jacket that day in
court. He handed it over so the judge could see it. The judge
discovered a packet of cocaine in the pocket and laughed so hard he
required a five-minute recess to compose himself.
 
Clever drug traffickers used a propane tanker truck entering El Paso
from Mexico. They rigged it so propane gas would be released from all
of its valves while the truck concealed 6,240 pounds of marijuana.
They were clever, but not bright. They misspelled the name of the gas
company on the side of the truck.
 
R.C. Gaitlin, 21, walked up to two patrol officers who were showing
their squad car computer equipment to children in a Detroit
neighborhood. When he asked how the system worked, the officers asked
him for a piece of identification. Gaitlin gave them his driver's
license, they entered it into the computer, and moments later they
arrested Gaitlin because information on the screen showed that Gaitlin
was wanted for a two-year-old armed robbery in St. Louis, Missouri.
 
Immanuel has the right attitude, and his psychologist is proud of him.
 

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