More ...You ARE a Redneck if......
1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.
2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.
3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
4. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.
5. You wonder how service stations keep their rest rooms so clean.
6. Someone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, guys, watch this."
7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
8. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
9. Your junior prom offered day care.
10. You think the last words of the "Star-Spangled Banner" are "Gentlemen, start your engines."
11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.
12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.
13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.
14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.
15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.
17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
Those are great!* Just when you thought you knew all there was to know about rednecks - - - -
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Yeah, but one of my shipmates took leave to escort his wife to the junior prom... and they'd celebrated at least one wedding anniversary by then.
Come to think of it, that was in Charleston SC.
__________________ *
Co-author (with my daughter) of “Raising Your Money-Savvy Family For Next Generation Financial Independence.”
Author of the book written on E-R.org: "The Military Guide to Financial Independence and Retirement."
I don't spend much time here— please send a PM.
Johnny Depp??* Sure, I'd love to have that smart mouth, America hating little twit on the other side of my screen.
Here Johnny, meet Mr Cursor.* Opps, did I stick you in the eye?* How does that pointer feel in your nostril?* Get ready for a power surge Johnny.* Are we having fun yet Johnny?
Johnny Depp??* Sure, I'd love to have that smart mouth, America hating little twit on the other side of my screen.
Uhm, I don't think Martha's attracted to him for his witty political discourse and European flair...
__________________ *
Co-author (with my daughter) of “Raising Your Money-Savvy Family For Next Generation Financial Independence.”
Author of the book written on E-R.org: "The Military Guide to Financial Independence and Retirement."
I don't spend much time here— please send a PM.
Co-author (with my daughter) of “Raising Your Money-Savvy Family For Next Generation Financial Independence.”
Author of the book written on E-R.org: "The Military Guide to Financial Independence and Retirement."
I don't spend much time here— please send a PM.
You may have seen some examples of these where you work(ed).
1. TESTICULATING - Waving your arms around and talking bollocks.
2. BLAMESTORMING - Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was
missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
3. SEAGULL MANAGER - A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, cr*ps on
everything and then leaves.
4. ASSMOSIS - The process by which people seem to absorb success and
advancement by sucking up to the boss rather than working hard.
5. SALMON DAY - The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream
only to get screwed and die.
6. CUBE FARM - An office filled with cubicles.
7. PRAIRIE DOGGING - When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube
farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see that's going on.
(This also applies to applause from a promotion because there may be cake.)
8. MOUSE POTATO - The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch
potato
9. SITCOMs - Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies
turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay
home with the kids or start a "home business".
10. STRESS PUPPY - A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and
whiny.
11. PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE - The fine art of bashing the cr*p out of an
electronic device to get it to work again.
12. ADMINISPHERE - The rarefied organisational layers beginning just above
the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the "adminisphere" are often
profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed
to solve. This is often affiliated with the dreaded "administrivia"
needless paperwork and processes.
13. 404 - Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message
"404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located.
14. OHNOSECOND - That minuscule fraction of time in which you realise that
you've just made a BIG mistake (e.g. you've hit 'reply all' to an e-mail;
you delete a file that wasn't backed up.)
__________________ Retired in Jan, 2010 at 55, moved to England in May 2016
Enough private pension and SS income to cover all needs
We need to send these to Despair.com for their new line of inspirational motivational posters. I think I've already seen the salmon one...
__________________ *
Co-author (with my daughter) of “Raising Your Money-Savvy Family For Next Generation Financial Independence.”
Author of the book written on E-R.org: "The Military Guide to Financial Independence and Retirement."
I don't spend much time here— please send a PM.
OK, I've been saving this for a while but I can't hold it any longer (so to speak)...
__________________ *
Co-author (with my daughter) of “Raising Your Money-Savvy Family For Next Generation Financial Independence.”
Author of the book written on E-R.org: "The Military Guide to Financial Independence and Retirement."
I don't spend much time here— please send a PM.