It's funny joke Thursday! 2005 - 2020

[Chuckanut]

I saw this real headline this morning. I was going to post it in the "good news" thread, since it looks like good news for the folks in LA County. But I'm not sure they meant it that way:

What a shame! We meet every two weeks, get our shots and then go out for socially distanced coffee and doughnuts.

 

[Car-Guy]

 

[KCGeezer]

It's funny joke Thursday!

 

[calmloki]

IMG_5182.jpeg

Hah! 473#0 !

Go to advanced and click the paperclip to upload a file or image on your computer to be shown here

 

[Car-Guy]

A realistic view of life

 

[KCGeezer]

It's funny joke Thursday!

Thanks Loki

 

[Car-Guy]

Well now that the Master is over, here's a little golf humor....



Golfer: "I'd move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course." Caddy: "Try heaven, you've already moved most of the earth."


Golfer: "Do you think my game is improving?" Caddy: "Yes sir, you miss the ball much closer now."


Golfer: "Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?" Caddy: "Eventually."


Golfer: "You've got to be the worst caddy in the world." Caddy: "I don't think so sir. That would be too much of a coincidence."


Golfer: "That can't be my ball, it's too old." Caddy: "It's been a long time since we teed off, sir."

 

[Car-Guy]

Another blonde joke.




This is a sad story of depression as we near the holidays.

Mary (a blonde) was sick and tired of the world events. COVID-19, Brexit, Russian belligerence, global warming, racial tensions, the election, and the rest of the disturbing stories that occupy media headlines. (Sound familiar?)

On a cold winter day, she drove her car into her garage and then sealed every doorway and window as best as she could. She got back into her car and rolled down all the windows, turn the heater up to high, selected her favorite radio station and hit the car’s ignition.
Three days later, a worried neighbor peered through her garage window and saw her in the car. She notified the emergency services and they broke in, pulling Mary from the car.
A little sip of water and, surprisingly, she was in perfect condition, but her Tesla's battery was dead.

 

[Car-Guy]

 

[Car-Guy]

 

[Car-Guy]

 

[Car-Guy]

 

[Walt34]

Shamelessly lifted from another forum:

 

[doneat54]

Well now that the Master is over, here's a little golf humor....



Golfer: "I'd move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course." Caddy: "Try heaven, you've already moved most of the earth."


Golfer: "Do you think my game is improving?" Caddy: "Yes sir, you miss the ball much closer now."


Golfer: "Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?" Caddy: "Eventually."


Golfer: "You've got to be the worst caddy in the world." Caddy: "I don't think so sir. That would be too much of a coincidence."


Golfer: "That can't be my ball, it's too old." Caddy: "It's been a long time since we teed off, sir."

I have an extended version:
(#5 is my favorite)

#10 Golfer: "Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake." Caddy: "Think you can keep your head down that long?" #9 Golfer: "I'd mover heaven and earth to break 100 on this course." Caddy: "Try heaven, you've already moved most of the earth."
#8 Golfer: "Do you think my game is improving?" Caddy: "Yes sir, you miss the ball much closer now."
#7 Golfer: "Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?" Caddy: "Eventually"
#6 Golfer: "You've got to be the worse caddy in the world." Caddy: "I don't think so sir. That would be too much of a coincidence."
#5 Golfer: "Please stop checking you watch all the time. It's too much of a distraction." Caddy: "It's not a watch - it's a compass."
#4 Golfer: "How do you like my game?" Caddy: "Very good sir, but personally, I prefer golf."
#3 Golfer: "Do you think it's a sin to play on Sunday?" Caddy: "The way you play, sir, it's a sin on any day."
#2 Golfer: "This is the worst course I've ever play on." Caddy: "This isn't the golf course. We left that an hour ago."
#1 Golfer: That can't be my ball, it's too old." Caddy: "It's been a long time since we teed off, sir."
​

 

[Car-Guy]

Well Thanksgiving is coming sooooo.

 

[Car-Guy]

 

[Car-Guy]

 

[Car-Guy]

 

[Car-Guy]

 

[Car-Guy]

 

[Car-Guy]

Hope this is just a joke!

 

[Chuckanut]

Makes sense to me.



I have found that as I get older, the women in my age group have got a lot smarter. As teens and 20-somethings, they gladly passed by stable, reliable, financially smart guys like me for the exciting, dangerous 'fun' guys. Now, 40 years later, my casserole count is going through the roof. And I still love to have fun.

 

[Car-Guy]

I didn't see the joke in this until I got to the bottom part..

 

[Time2]

I didn't see the joke in this until I got to the bottom part..

I had to get my magnifying glass out for the punchline!

For her, I'll add, "you go girl"

 

[Car-Guy]

I had to get my magnifying glass out for the punchline!

For her, I'll add, "you go girl"

I thought the funny one was for the Mother-In-Law.....