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06-21-2020, 07:29 PM
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#1
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 7,045
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My Friends are Dying!
I really thought that happened to much older people. I have lost 5 friends in their 60’s to cancer. All lived active, healthy lifestyles. My friend died today after finding out he had stage 4 spine cancer after no longer being able to do karate despite being a black belt. He is dead 40 days later. It’s so depressing.
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06-21-2020, 07:33 PM
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#2
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Rio Grande Valley
Posts: 38,139
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It’s rough. My mother was in her early 60s when she died of cancer. And it’s a bit freaky because I’m approaching that age now!
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Retired since summer 1999.
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06-21-2020, 07:38 PM
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#3
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Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Conroe, Texas
Posts: 18,727
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Teacher Terry
I really thought that happened to much older people. I have lost 5 friends in their 60’s to cancer. All lived active, healthy lifestyles. My friend died today after finding out he had stage 4 spine cancer after no longer being able to do karate despite being a black belt. He is dead 40 days later. It’s so depressing.
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Sorry to hear about your friend. Yes, death should happen later. I am 76 and have buried a daughter (@22), my sister (@55), my ex wife ( @65, I was still close to her), two very close friends in CT (2 years ago), and my parents years ago.
I also lost a close friend here in Texas 3 years ago because of a motorcycle accident.
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*********Go Yankees!*********
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06-21-2020, 07:39 PM
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#4
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 8,368
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My late wife never made 55.
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"Exit, pursued by a bear."
The Winter's Tale, William Shakespeare
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06-21-2020, 08:18 PM
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#5
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 7,045
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Aja, the worst thing is to bury a child. My friend that died leaves behind a mom and a sister that lost her 19 years old daughter.
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06-21-2020, 08:40 PM
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#6
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Moderator
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: San Diego
Posts: 14,211
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I feel your distress TeacherTerry. Mom died of cancer in 2002. My dad and brother had both survived previous cancers to be struck down within months of each other with completely different cancers in fall 2007. My brother was only 48. Cancer sucks.
That said my personal family cancer cluster was an impetus to retire early and live life while I can, because there are no guarantees we'll live forever.
It also sucks to learn of friends dying. It seems they come in clusters. Yesterday I got a facebook notification that an old friend had a birthday. On his facebook page I read that he'd died in December 2019. And further reading found that his old boyfriend (who I was also close to when we were in our 20's) had also passed. It was like a body blow even though I had obviously fallen out of touch with them.
I'm sorry for your losses, TeacherTerry.
__________________
Retired June 2014. No longer an enginerd - now I'm just a nerd.
micro pensions 6%, rental income 20%
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06-21-2020, 08:44 PM
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#7
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Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Conroe, Texas
Posts: 18,727
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Teacher Terry
Aja, the worst thing is to bury a child. My friend that died leaves behind a mom and a sister that lost her 19 years old daughter.
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That was the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with in my life and I have not lived an easy one. Ever since then, though, I am pretty numb when I lose a friend or other close person, if you know what I mean.
None of this dying stuff is easy and it's all in our future.
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*********Go Yankees!*********
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06-21-2020, 09:09 PM
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#8
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Full time employment: Posting here.
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 656
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It's almost hard to believe the avg age of death is the 80s for women and close to that for men. Lots of the kids I've gone to school with are long gone. Same with my wife. Seems like people are dropping like flys.
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06-21-2020, 09:33 PM
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#9
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 9,514
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It is unreal the the friends and people I know that have pass on in early 60's and late 50's.
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06-21-2020, 09:41 PM
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#10
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Santa Paula
Posts: 4,076
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My condolences to all of you. I lost my wife to cancer at age 68. When her mother died some years earlier, we went through her mom's address book and every name was crossed off.
At age 89, she had lost all her friends and all her family.
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Retired Jan 2009 Have not looked back.
AA 60/35/5 considering SS and pensions a SP annuity
WR 2% with 2SS & 2 Pensions
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06-21-2020, 10:36 PM
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#11
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Spending the Kids Inheritance and living in Chicago
Posts: 17,087
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Just today, my Dad over 90 was telling me everyone he knew is dead.
Then he asks me if we have our arrangements made
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Fortune favors the prepared mind. ... Louis Pasteur
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06-21-2020, 10:41 PM
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#12
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 7,045
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Thanks everyone. My best friends daughter at 19 was the hardest. She had a rare liver disease at 18 and despite a transplant was dead within 24 hours. Most of my family died of cancer but were older.
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06-21-2020, 11:42 PM
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#13
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Placerville
Posts: 1,788
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Me too; lost 5 recently. Youngest was 59, the oldest 78. All I can say is to be there for them and their family once they've passed on. God Bless!
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06-22-2020, 02:51 AM
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#14
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 335
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On a lighter note... My 94-year-old FIL has been through the assisted living experience and is now in a nursing home.
He's very sharp and is worried about his finances. He asked my DW about this subject and how long he could afford his nursing home costs. She replied that he had enough money to last him until age 102. His reply was priceless. "My God that's only 8 years".
His attitude is very uplifting to me! Keep on the sunny side.
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06-22-2020, 04:41 AM
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#15
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: Tampa
Posts: 11,298
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Quote:
Originally Posted by davismills
On a lighter note... My 94-year-old FIL has been through the assisted living experience and is now in a nursing home.
He's very sharp and is worried about his finances. He asked my DW about this subject and how long he could afford his nursing home costs. She replied that he had enough money to last him until age 102. His reply was priceless. "My God that's only 8 years".
His attitude is very uplifting to me! Keep on the sunny side.
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Nice post.
Stay positive Teacher Terry.
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TGIM
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06-22-2020, 04:54 AM
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#16
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: NC
Posts: 21,298
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We’ve known three women friends, one DW’s best friend, who died from breast cancer very young. Horrible. We will all lose loved ones early, but there will be others who will outlast us for some perspective. Of our four parents, three lived to 88, 93 and 96 - it’s not all bad news?
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Retired Jun 2011 at age 57
Target AA: 50% equity funds / 45% bonds / 5% cash
Target WR: Approx 1.5% Approx 20% SI (secure income, SS only)
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06-22-2020, 06:54 AM
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#17
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 12,654
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In my view, dying is better than some of the old-age alternatives to which I've been exposed.
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If you understood everything I say, you'd be me ~ Miles Davis
'There is only one success – to be able to spend your life in your own way.’ Christopher Morley.
Even a blind clock finds an acorn twice a day.
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06-22-2020, 06:59 AM
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#18
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 8,368
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Amethyst
In my view, dying is better than some of the old-age alternatives to which I've been exposed.
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I'd substitute many for some.
__________________
"Exit, pursued by a bear."
The Winter's Tale, William Shakespeare
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06-22-2020, 06:59 AM
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#19
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Champaign
Posts: 4,722
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Death is hardest for the living. So permanent a loss. I still have my memories of those friends and family I've lost. I"m glad for those. Moments of laughter and sharing, good times and celebrations. I try to think of those times. Death inevitable and I hope when I go, the loved ones I leave behind will remember the good times.
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"Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail."
Ralph Waldo Emerson
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06-22-2020, 07:04 AM
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#20
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Seattle
Posts: 6,023
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Teacher Terry
I really thought that happened to much older people. I have lost 5 friends in their 60’s to cancer. All lived active, healthy lifestyles. My friend died today after finding out he had stage 4 spine cancer after no longer being able to do karate despite being a black belt. He is dead 40 days later. It’s so depressing.
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That is pretty horrible but if I do have to go to cancer, I think I would rather it be relatively quick like that rather than 2 years of agony.
Still sucks though. As advanced as we think we are as humans, we still can't control dinky little cells and viruses.
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