Okay - Who Has a Marriage Bio???

[Walt34]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dtail That can be a technique for reducing your workload.

I learned that at a very early age. Around age eight or so my mother insisted that I would, just like my sisters, learn to wash, dry, and put away dinnerware. After I dropped and broke three or four plates I was once again relegated to chores that were either outside or involved virtually indestructible objects, like taking out the trash.

Dumb like a fox, I was.

[Koolau]

Interesting. I recall years of sitting at the break table at w*rk with both men and women. Guys virtually never complained about their wives and girls did little but complain about their husbands. I don't mean to suggest this is universal, just my experience (just sayin'.) I always figured it was an ego thing with guys. Admitting that their wife wasn't perfect perhaps reflected on the guy. Who knows. BUT with the relative anonymity of this forum, there is ONE thing that bugs me about DW. When ever I do a task (with her or not) which each of us is "capable" of doing, she does my work over. It could be hanging up clothes after laundry, it could be the dishes, it could be putting away groceries, etc. etc.

Now, I can accept that there might be one "right" way to do something. I can even accept that there is a "her" way of doing something. What bothers me is that there is NO "right" or "her" way that I could possibly learn because next time, the "right" or "her" way will be different. Just venting (ever so slightly) so YMMV.

[sengsational]

I skimmed a few of the posts here, but I wont' participate, and it's not because I'm afraid DW would see the post either, hehe!


I just believe in ignoring things that might tend to bother me. Maybe "ignoring" is not right. Let's just say not focusing on them. It's human nature and instinct to focus on problems to "fix", but that doesn't make for the most pleasant life. With a little bit of thought, you can find dozens of things that are positive. Stop after that. No "but..."

Quote:

"Do you want to be less angry? Be less aware." Anger often starts from noticing too many subtleties of the way others interact with us. In many cases, we'd do better not to notice the slights and microaggressions that can drive us nuts if we let them. One can will oneself to ignore such things—a practice many long-married couples will instantly recognize! From an interview with James Romm

[Red Badger]

Quote:

Originally Posted by sengsational I skimmed a few of the posts here, but I wont' participate, and it's not because I'm afraid DW would see the post either, hehe! I just believe in ignoring things that might tend to bother me. Maybe "ignoring" is not right. Let's just say not focusing on them. It's human nature and instinct to focus on problems to "fix", but that doesn't make for the most pleasant life. With a little bit of thought, you can find dozens of things that are positive. Stop after that. No "but..."

OP here. My post was really in the spirit of sharing my life and space with my best friend and someone I dearly love. And, as I alluded to, I am more than guilty of leaving a trail of flotsam around the house and grounds that she contends with; mostly in silence - - - mostly.

Like any long term relationship, ours tends to be smooth and well-oiled with mutual respect, trust, and tolerance. I definitely "married up" and thank God for that blessing every day. There are times when a little grit gets in the gears of our relationship. It tends to pass swiftly without any real damage. I think that most of the comments on this thread were of like nature (light hearted, harmless, truthful).

Neither of us tends to be overly serious about the others quirks, habits, or nuances. One of us ain't getting out alive. The other gets to rake all the chips off of the table. Best to leaves lots of blue ones behind, regardless of the cards being held...

[robnplunder]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Red Badger So, I was putzing in the garage as DW pulled into the driveway. I waved for her to stop instead of pulling into the garage. She readily complied. I walked over and explained that I was tidying up after having the water neater replaced yesterday. So she cuts off he car and I return to the tasks at hand... Then, I hear a "ker-plunk." I pay no mind, and DW is off to the door and inside. I glance to the driveway and there's an empty water bottle about 5 feet from her chariot. The implied task here is for me to retrieve it and place it in the recycle bin (the one she walked within a few feet of as she went in the house). Interesting side-bar. DW is fastidious in housekeeping. Her chariot? Untidy and cluttered (less one water bottle for the moment). Garden tools and supplies also park where last used. I can put them away, mow around them, or perhaps paint them where they lie. But lie they shall. I am not upset, it was just an epiphany. I'm sure DW could author a compendium (in about 5 nanoseconds) of my deflected tasks that she performs on my behalf. Anyhoo, any takers on a bio (or job description) for your situation? Litter control and outdoor tidiness would be annotated on my domestic documents. Not sure how my annual reviews would stack up...

We are the opposite. For the life of me, I can't help leave things around where I can't find them the next time I need them. DW gets annoyed and nags about it more than I can bear. But bear I do b/c she has the longevity gene and I don't. She will change my diaphers when dementia overtake my life ... so I hope.

[davismills]

When I got married, my father said that the sooner you give up the better your life will be. For 27 years, this has proven to be excellent advice.

[sengsational]

RB, I like the gear analogy. Light hearted ribbing is probably healthier than burying something as it reminds the partners that nobody's perfect. Humor is essential. I also like the "nobody's going to get out alive", hehe!

[catii]

I'm lucky! Wife & I are both engineers, & we simply do those tasks/chores that we prefer. She enjoys, for example, checking our cars' water/oil/tire pressure, while I enjoy seeing how much carpet I can vacuum before our Dyson vacuum runs out of charge. No discussion - we just do it, & have been for over 40 great years!

[LBrowning]

I can't say this is universally true; just my observation. My OCD goes haywire if I don't neatly coil cables, wires, hoses, etc. and neatly put them away. If DW even touches one, it immediately snarls and tangles itself and she doesn't mind at all. I truly believe she could jump from a plane with an extension cord and it would catch on something on the way down.

[klscaz]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Red Badger I glance to the driveway and there's an empty water bottle about 5 feet from her chariot. The implied task here is for me to retrieve it and place it in the recycle bin (the one she walked within a few feet of as she went in the house).

I'm sure it just fell out of the messy car. I doubt that she dropped it on purpose for you to pick up.