Overcoming our fear of the future.

[Gumby]

We occasionally have threads about the challenges facing our nation, our economy and ourselves now that we are retired or close to it. Sometimes, it seems as if we are metaphorically wringing our hands in fear of the future. So I thought I would post this broadcast by NPR to help us buck up. It is a 2018 radio interview of US Navy Commander Denny Moore, who was shot down over North Vietnam in 1965 and spent more than 7 years in captivity. It was the first time he had spoken of his experiences since he was released in February 1973.

He is plain spoken and philosophical about his time in Hanoi. It is very interesting to listen to him describe how he and his fellow prisoners coped over the years under difficult circumstances and how he kept control of his emotions. His final point is that we each have within us the capacity to adapt to, endure and overcome far greater challenges than we can imagine. I think you might enjoy listening to him.

https://www.mtpr.org/arts-culture/2...war-recounts-his-story-of-survival-in-vietnam


A footnote - CDR Moore was a US Naval Academy Class of 1960 graduate (which is how I know about him). He died two months ago.

 

[audreyh1]

A Man’s Search for Meaning, book by Viktor Frankl, Nazi concentration camp survivor, about how he endured psychologically.

Sounds similar?

 

[Jerry1]

One thing I do when I get to thinking about what bad things could happen is that I realize how blessed I am to be where I'm at and how that will ensure a better outcome for me than for a great number of people. Yes, I'll be in for a rough time if things get really bad, but I'll be better off than a lot of people. Not much solace, but I've always figured I could do "better than average". In the worst of circumstances (think total societal collapse, being on the edge of a nuclear explosion and living - a true catastrophic event), I'll just do the best I can. Seriously, at that point what other choice do you have? I'm sure not going to worry about it in advance.

 

[Rianne]

Thinking about what could happen and what is happening are two different things. In the moment of extreme suffering, torture, and a battle for survival is only in my imagination. I can read or listen to someone else's experience but will never know what it's really like or how I would react to it. I can be empathetic. But that's also a part of the imagination.

This example might be way off the topic. When Tiger Woods played and won the 2008 U.S. Open with a broken leg I thought how does one fight through the pain like that? And he fought his way back after an excruciating car accident. Pain, suffering, torture. And has a positive outlook for the future.

On the other hand, imagining what it would be like to be in that situation is different. I think of myself completely breaking down, giving in, and begging for relief, because I have no clue what I would really do. But I'm imagining what I would do.

My DF was a medic in WWII. He witnessed atrocities that would shock all of us. He actually turned gray in his late twenties after the war. The pain and suffering were all around him because he had to treat and get the wounded soldiers home. He witnessed the suffering but did not suffer himself that way. Which is worse? Those memories lived with him. PTSD. How is it that some soldiers moved to a positive state of mind after experiencing physical and psychological pain like this? Then, wimpy me, feeling extreme anxiety over the most frivolous thing. Much to think about and a very interesting topic.

 

[W2R]

Overcoming "our" fear of the future? Not meaning to be rude, but as my big brother would have said, back in the day, "Speak for yourself!"

By this time in life, Frank and I both feel that we have met, and overcome, some pretty serious challenges in life. We have both been penniless, jobless, friendless, homeless, hungry, and more. As I'm sure most of us know, our own initiative, persistence, determination, and refusal to give up are our most valuable possessions.

We know there are even more daunting challenges to come. But at this point we know we are as capable as anybody of addressing these challenges, learning from them, and moving forward.

I look towards the future with curiousity, caution, exhilaration, excitement, and interest, not with fear. Believe me, the best is yet to come.

https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/51642/invictus

In other words, Wheee....! Here we go.

 

[dixonge]

In other words, Wheee....! Here we go.

Oh ****! LOL

Although this time I think you may be right, unironically.

 

[MarieIG]

What an amazing man.

 

[Out-to-Lunch]

Overcoming "our" fear of the future? Not meaning to be rude, but as my big brother would have said, back in the day, "Speak for yourself!"

By this time in life, Frank and I both feel that we have met, and overcome, some pretty serious challenges in life. We have both been penniless, jobless, friendless, homeless, hungry, and more. As I'm sure most of us know, our own initiative, persistence, determination, and refusal to give up are our most valuable possessions.

We know there are even more daunting challenges to come. But at this point we know we are as capable as anybody of addressing these challenges, learning from them, and moving forward.

I look towards the future with curiousity, caution, exhilaration, excitement, and interest, not with fear. Believe me, the best is yet to come.

https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/51642/invictus

In other words, Wheee....! Here we go.

My goodness! All this time you have shared about you and FRANK. I never knew it was THAT Frank!

 

[Marita40]

I focus on the present, and live in faith and hope as my Catholic faith teaches me. Not easy, but to worry about the future is useless as it doesn’t exist.

 

[Zona]

Gumby thanks so much for posting that link. Once I started listening I could not stop. Can’t believe what he and the other POWs went through and how he kept his sanity for all those years. We will be going to Hanoi this spring and had already planned to visit Hoa Lo. Having heard his story will put that visit into even more context for me. It also definitely gives a helpful perspective on getting through difficult times. Thanks for posting.

 

[steelyman]

My goodness! All this time you have shared about you and FRANK. I never knew it was THAT Frank!

Word is that THAT Frank “got around”. You never know, we could have Ava here.

 

[RobbieB]

I have never worried about the future, I don't worry about anything.

Worry is a completely useless emotion. If you see a potential problem coming, prepare for it. Do the best you can to address it. After that what will be will be.

You are supposed to learn from the past, live in the present and prepare for the future.

Easy.

 

[braumeister]

It is a 2018 radio interview of US Navy Commander Denny Moore, who was shot down over North Vietnam in 1965 and spent more than 7 years in captivity.

Thanks for posting that.

During one of my assignments while I was active duty USAF, I formed a friendship with one of my peers. He had spent 3 or 4 years (I forget exactly) as a POW in North Vietnam, and was one of the finest human beings I have ever known.

Adversity can sometimes bring out the best in us, and as RobbieB implied, the Stoic philosophy is that there is no point in stressing yourself over things you cannot control.

 

[W2R]

My goodness! All this time you have shared about you and FRANK. I never knew it was THAT Frank!

 

[homestead]

Gumby thanks for posting that. He had an interesting story to tell.
Another good source of info on POW's in Vietnam was a book
"When Hell Was in Session" by Admiral Jeremiah Denton
He and others were severely tortured by the VC.

 

[Gumby]

I started at the US Naval Academy in the summer of 1977, two years after the Vietnam War ended. The POWs were relatively recently home from Vietnam and many were still on active duty. The powers that be thought it would be good for the development of the midshipmen for us to hear from them, so they often came to speak to us and then mingle. Among others, I personally met and spoke with Admiral James Stockdale, Captain John McCain, and Commander Dick Stratton, who was on the cover of Life magazine. To a man, they were a great inspiration to the young me, and I have never forgotten the lessons they imparted.

 

[Dash man]

I started at the US Naval Academy in the summer of 1977, two years after the Vietnam War ended. The POWs were relatively recently home from Vietnam and many were still on active duty. The powers that be thought it would be good for the development of the midshipmen for us to hear from them, so they often came to speak to us and then mingle. Among others, I personally met and spoke with Admiral James Stockdale, Captain John McCain, and Commander Dick Stratton, who was on the cover of Life magazine. To a man, they were a great inspiration to the young me, and I have never forgotten the lessons they imparted.

I was able to meet and talk in a secure setting with several former POWs during my time in the Air Force. They were all inspirational as you say. I’ll never understand how a certain actress was never brought up on charges of treason. I hope the full truth comes out one day.

 

[ERD50]

I have never worried about the future, I don't worry about anything.

Worry is a completely useless emotion. If you see a potential problem coming, prepare for it. Do the best you can to address it. After that what will be will be.

You are supposed to learn from the past, live in the present and prepare for the future.

Easy.

The phrase I've heard is "Be concerned about everything, worry about nothing."

When I find myself worrying about something, I tell myself, forget about it for now, but later on take some time to address it (concern). Then (sometimes) I can stop worrying.

It works most of the time. But it's not always easy, for me.

-ERD50

 

[JackJester]

Thank You Gumby for this post. If we only had more folks like John McCain in this world, and those that truly know what sacrifice is all about. I worked as a Navy contractor for many years and heard stories over the years that most folks just can't fathom. That other post on how our econ future is in dumps due to sooo many issues ...lots of which that were mentioned by the OP were politically twisted like complaining about regulations that prevent us from raping the land, and social programs that give all our $ to the poor in the name of 'equity'. Urggh! I almost responded a few times to that post, but ...since I have retired I have learned to let things rest. I am HAPPY and I believe that the Human Race will continue to strive. Technological advancements will pull is from the brink of what we 'think' is the end. All you have to look at is how small our planet and its problems are compared to the rest of the many billions of stars/planets that are out there in the universe. We are just peanuts. And we aren't the only ones with so called 'problems.' Unless of course ZOMBIES take over. then kiss goodbye and BTD fast.

 

[pacergal]

Thank you for posting, Gumby. I shall listen to this later today.
I have read Sen. John McCains book, also.

I tend to be a "worrier", but also know I have little power beyond what I can do for myself and family. Prepare for the worst, Expect the best. And have faith in myself and my fellow man that we will move forward with good intent.
I enjoy my life daily and am blessed and thankful for every day I have here on this beautiful rock hurtling through space.

 

[Sanstar]

With COVID came isolation, wild market swings, fears about personal/ family members’ health, finances and future. Being retired meant lots of time to fret about the what if’s of the unknowable future.

Couple things helped me get past these feelings. One, watching documentaries about recent dark periods in history: Dust Bowl, pandemic of 1918 and Great Depression. Also, shows about women’s lives during these same periods: World on Fire, Bomb Girls, Land Girls. I find comfort in knowing this isn’t the first time we’ve been faced with dark times and an uncertain future. Makes my frets seem very small in comparison. In every case the next days came and the bad times didn’t.

Secondly, I keep a running list of the worst case scenarios, password protected, on my iPad. As David Allen writes in his time management books, “put it on the list, take it off your mind.” There’s something about seeing my latest fret in writing that makes my mind go to possible options/ solutions for a positive outcome. This exercise is so helpful when other close family members share their worst case, what if’s with me.

I think it helps that I grew up poor. In time, I achieved personal autonomy, a rich and satisfying family life and financial independence. I know living poor doesn’t mean feeling poor. Nor does it mean staying poor.

What I have learned for sure is: The only thing that’s the end of the world….is truly the end of the world.

Working so far. Plan B for the frets is to move to CO and eat gummies. [emoji23]

 

[Mr Gadget]

For me, it was reading Peter DiaMandis book "Abundance." I had been slipping into the prepper mindset after retiring back in 2010, and falling for the fear constantly being [-]sold[/-] promoted on media, specifically social media, which I try to stay away from. That book was instrumental in changing my mindset. I don't fear the future, I fear the 10% who screw it up for the rest of us and are constantly stealing from future generations.


[mod edit]


I wish more people were aware of the "Overview Effect" and the Pale Blue Dot, and actually be neighbors on this space rock flying along really fast. Funny thing is, I achieved FIRE (so far) and I don't need more, I'm happy just living and no longer being a wage slave, it's the greedy who never have enough, that piss me off the most.

 

[calmloki]

And as he hurtled past the fifth floor window he was heard to shout, "so far so good!"

 

[frayne]

Thanks for posting. I think as we all reflect on our respective pasts we realize just how truly fortunate we are.