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Parallel to "cheapskate" thread - What's the most redneck thing you've done?
02-20-2008, 06:51 PM
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#1
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Moderator
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Eastern WV Panhandle
Posts: 25,302
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Parallel to "cheapskate" thread - What's the most redneck thing you've done?
From Jeff Foxworthy's "You might be a redneck if you have..."
1. Gone to the dump and brought back more than we brought. Yes, Dad and I actually did that once.
2. Had sex in the back of a pickup truck. It was okay - the truck had a cap on it and I married her.
3. Cooked a chicken wrapped in aluminum foil on the exhaust manifold driving from DC to Tyrone, PA. Yup, Dad actually did that.
4. Stuck a firecracker in a pile of dog doo and lit it. Yeah, well, not one of my brighter moments. I think the six-pack had something to do with it....
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When I was a kid I wanted to be older. This is not what I expected.
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02-20-2008, 07:02 PM
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#2
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Moderator
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 4,029
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This is gonna be a great thread!
1) If your neighbor's goat chases you up a tree and then keeps clawing up at you while you yell for help, you might be a....
2) If staying over at your best friend's house when you were little meant you used a "pot" to go at night and dumped it in the morning outside, you might be a...
3) If you grew up on a dirt road and ran out front every time a car drove by to see who it was, you might be a...
4) If part of your entertainment was yelling out across the field to hear your voice echo back, you might be a...
Oh, so many more....
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simple girl
less stuff, more time
(55, married; Mr. Simple Girl, 59. FIRED 12/31/19!)
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02-20-2008, 07:26 PM
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#3
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Gone but not forgotten
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 6,924
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If you've been attacked by geese
If the directions to your house include 'turn off the paved road'
If you remember getting an indoor toilet
If you heated water in the reservoir on the wood stove
If you took a bath in the kitchen in the galvanized steel tub
If the laundry was done on Monday in a wringer washer
If you carried the chicken guts from the shed to the pigpen
If you were sent to bring the cows in for milking
-done all of the above
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"Knowin' no one nowhere's gonna miss us when we're gone..."
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02-20-2008, 07:28 PM
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#4
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Kansas City
Posts: 7,968
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My Father was a minor Union official(loggers/woodworkers) with the appropriate split of refugees from Michigan/Arkansas(pay attention this is serious).
Good politician that he was we had both a 29 Buick up on blocks AND a white picket fence with tulips planted out front.
heh heh heh - was a financial secretary(the title) for ten years before he returned to working on log trains.
heh heh heh - the radio station in town was Country KLOG with the Scandinavian music hour special on Sunday afternoon.
heh heh heh - good old rock and roll came out of Portland and other sinful places. "I loved her but she done me wrong - so I threw her down that open pit mine in Prescott Arizona."
And yes I used to pull wood pickets off the Norwegian widow's fence after getting off the Kindergarten bus cause people up the gravel road had really big mean Geese!
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02-20-2008, 07:42 PM
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#5
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Kansas City
Posts: 7,968
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Hmmm - have you ever played football in a cowpasture and used fresh cow pies as extra linemen?
heh heh heh
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02-20-2008, 07:48 PM
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#6
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Gone but not forgotten
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 6,924
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Quote:
Originally Posted by unclemick
Hmmm - have you ever played football in a cowpasture and used fresh cow pies as extra linemen?
heh heh heh
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Played baseball and used them as bases.
__________________
"Knowin' no one nowhere's gonna miss us when we're gone..."
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02-20-2008, 08:01 PM
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#7
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 4,764
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Grew up in Ohio country farm areas. Yep guess I got some redneck in me
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02-20-2008, 08:05 PM
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#8
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 2,020
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We were driving around looking for a waterfall. We were lost down one of many logging roads. We ran across a gentleman dressed up in true yooper fashion out for a walk. We asked him if he knew where these falls were. He responded "ya go down the road and turn where da firetower useta be before dey tore it down". We gave up at that point.
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02-20-2008, 08:06 PM
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#9
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Gone but not forgotten
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 6,924
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Grew up on and around small farms in NY and ME.
Recall waking up with a small snowdrift near the bedroom window.
__________________
"Knowin' no one nowhere's gonna miss us when we're gone..."
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02-20-2008, 08:06 PM
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#10
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Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: New Orleans
Posts: 47,474
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I have never done any of these things!! Looks like I'm not a redneck.
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Already we are boldly launched upon the deep; but soon we shall be lost in its unshored, harbourless immensities. - - H. Melville, 1851.
Happily retired since 2009, at age 61. Best years of my life by far!
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02-20-2008, 08:13 PM
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#11
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Moderator
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 4,029
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Quote:
Originally Posted by unclemick
Hmmm - have you ever played football in a cowpasture and used fresh cow pies as extra linemen?
heh heh heh
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That reminds me. Ever turn over cowpies to find worms for goin' fishin'?
Eeeeewwwh. I've gotten soft and citified (is that a word?) over the years!
We used to also go out with a flashlight to catch nightcrawlers at night (they come up to the surface of the lawn at night...you have to be quick)
__________________
simple girl
less stuff, more time
(55, married; Mr. Simple Girl, 59. FIRED 12/31/19!)
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02-20-2008, 08:20 PM
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#12
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Kansas City
Posts: 7,968
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Me neither.
To this day I'm sworn to secrecy on my Grandmother's formula for raising the best fishworms - a good Finn - it starts with old coffee grounds , sugar and a few other unnamed ingredients.
I never squished anything higher than pennies on the railroad track.
I never got any of those round glass insulators on the power poles to break with my BB gun either.
Never met a girl named Debbie(until years later when I moved to New Orleans) - Janice, Rita, Mary Ann, Loretta - no Debbie's.
heh heh heh -
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02-20-2008, 08:26 PM
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#13
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Gone but not forgotten
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 6,924
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Quote:
Originally Posted by unclemick
Me neither.
To this day I'm sworn to secrecy on my Grandmother's formula for raising the best fishworms - a good Finn - it starts with old coffee grounds , sugar and a few other unnamed ingredients.
I never squished anything higher than pennies on the railroad track.
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My cousins occasionally did dimes and quarters.
Quote:
I never got any of those round glass insulators on the power poles to break with my BB gun either.
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My aunt still has several of those.
Quote:
Never met a girl named Debbie(until years later when I moved to New Orleans) - Janice, Rita, Mary Ann, Loretta - no Debbie's.
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My sister's high school class of '73 had 9 Debbie's out of 200 students.
Quote:
heh heh heh -
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__________________
"Knowin' no one nowhere's gonna miss us when we're gone..."
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02-20-2008, 08:47 PM
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#14
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Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 22,973
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If you had a party line phone (2 longs, 2 shorts for us)
If you know how to make chickens sleep
If the barn cats ever licked your face after your dad squirted milk on it (straight from the cow).
If your brother and sister are named, respectively, Darryl and Darlene.
If you got kicked out of a dance at the Baptist church.
If your clothes looked like cardboard after going through the wringer.
If you ever had a spring house.
If you have a pile of coal in the yard.
If you know where the duck lays its eggs.
If you've changed out the engine in your car under a tree.
If the demolition derby and a stock car race on a quarter mile dirt track is the highlight of Saturday night.
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Living an analog life in the Digital Age.
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02-20-2008, 08:51 PM
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#15
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 14,328
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My older brother lassoed the neighbor's goat and it chased him into our garage - still holding onto the rope.
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02-20-2008, 08:57 PM
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#16
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Lawn chair in Texas
Posts: 14,183
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Been to stock cars races, tractor pulls, and demolition derbies...
Drank moonshine from a jar...
Used a car hood for a sled...
Drove the lawn tractor to town...
Generally avoid cow pies, though...
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Have Funds, Will Retire
...not doing anything of true substance...
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02-20-2008, 09:19 PM
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#17
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Chicago
Posts: 13,151
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gumby
If the demolition derby and a stock car race on a quarter mile dirt track is the highlight of Saturday night.
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Well..... unless you went to the roller rink that Saturday!
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"I wasn't born blue blood. I was born blue-collar." John Wort Hannam
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02-20-2008, 09:39 PM
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#18
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Administrator
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Pacific NW
Posts: 6,164
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If you:
Leave the index pages in the Sears catalog for company
Read the obits to get a 'heads up' on good deals on mason jars
Go home by 11:00 AM to get the green beans started for dinner
Would ruther eat boiled peanuts for road trip food than anything else
Refuse to drive north of PA because there's no Stuckey's stores anywhere!
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02-20-2008, 09:44 PM
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#19
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 2,487
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This post brings back memories...
R
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02-20-2008, 09:46 PM
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#20
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 4,764
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One of the more "fun" things I did as a kid was bail hay. I probably never do that again in my life. Gives you a decent perspective at any rate.
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