View Poll Results: About this joke ...
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I don't get it.
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2 |
5.26% |
I get it. It's not funny. You shouldn't include it.
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14 |
36.84% |
I get it. It's funny. You shouldn't include it.
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4 |
10.53% |
I get it. It's funny, You should include it.
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13 |
34.21% |
I get it. It's not funny. You should include it.
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5 |
13.16% |
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06-04-2015, 01:36 PM
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#1
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 12,880
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Please Approve This Joke
I'm on the fence about including this joke in my new book. Please give me your opinion.
In this scene, the hero, Jake, is reporting to his fiftyish friend in the FBI concerning what he found. The joke is shown in bold. "... I didn’t learn how they do it, but their weapon requires at least a week to recharge. That’s the word they use, ‘recharge.’ So they shoot at the satellite and then they can’t shoot again for a week. Just like you, old man."
"Very funny, Jake. I guess your injuries aren't too bad, since you're back to making your dumb jokes."
Thanks!
__________________
Al
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06-04-2015, 02:41 PM
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#2
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: NC
Posts: 21,204
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Having seen your sense of humor on display here in years past, you can do much better...
__________________
No one agrees with other people's opinions; they merely agree with their own opinions -- expressed by somebody else. Sydney Tremayne
Retired Jun 2011 at age 57
Target AA: 50% equity funds / 45% bonds / 5% cash
Target WR: Approx 1.5% Approx 20% SI (secure income, SS only)
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06-04-2015, 02:59 PM
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#3
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 8,368
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Perhaps the other guy could ask if the recharge time depends on the target.
__________________
"Exit, pursued by a bear."
The Winter's Tale, William Shakespeare
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06-04-2015, 03:01 PM
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#4
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Moscow
Posts: 1,569
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I like it-but does it fit the character? Based on the joke I picture an overly cocky young man who is, maybe, a bit of an ass...
__________________
You can't enlighten the unconscious.
But you can hit'em upside the head a few times to make sure they are really out...
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06-04-2015, 03:08 PM
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#5
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Nashville
Posts: 2,504
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The joke is pretty innocuous. Does it fit the characters and style of the book? (Didn't vote, cuz it all depends.)
__________________
OMY * 3 2ish Done 7.28.17
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06-04-2015, 03:16 PM
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#6
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: yonder
Posts: 2,851
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nemo2
Perhaps the other guy could ask if the recharge time depends on the target.
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Al, the joke is an old one, but, if you top it off with Nemo2's suggestion, you have much more interesting dialogue.
__________________
When the people shall have nothing more to eat, they will eat the rich--philosopher Jean-Jacques Rousseau
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06-04-2015, 03:55 PM
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#7
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 10,864
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Sounded a little limp to me.
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06-04-2015, 04:01 PM
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#8
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 12,880
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Well, the split is pretty even, so far.
It does fit the character perfectly. He's always making jokes, even when they are inappropriate.
This is how the book starts: It was the word I least wanted to hear: “Freeze.” Actually, two words, “Freeze, dumb-ass.” I’m not sure what the second word was for. It was pretty clear who she was talking to—I was the only dumb-ass lurking around the terrorists’ Oregon compound at 3 a.m.
Without turning around, I asked, “Who, me?”
My smart reply apparently wasn’t appreciated. It got me a few hours of unconsciousness followed by a throbbing headache. I’ve heard it so many times: “That Jake Corby can’t keep his mouth shut.” You’d think at age thirty-six I’d have learned to keep it under control.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nemo2
Perhaps the other guy could ask if the recharge time depends on the target.
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That's a great idea. Nice.
__________________
Al
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06-04-2015, 04:07 PM
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#9
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Moderator
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Eastern WV Panhandle
Posts: 25,302
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+1
But if it fits the character it would work.
__________________
When I was a kid I wanted to be older. This is not what I expected.
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06-04-2015, 04:26 PM
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#10
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 12,880
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I haven't decided whether to keep it, but here's its current state, thanks to Nemo (Jake is recovering from a beating): I closed my eyes. “Let me tell you what I’ve got before I pass out again. I was able to eavesdrop on conversations and break in and read some notes. They are indeed involved in the satellite destruction along with a network of other militia-slash-terrorist groups. I didn’t learn how they do it, but their weapon requires at least a week to recharge. That’s the word they use, ‘recharge.’ So they shoot at the satellite and then they can’t shoot again for a week … kinda like you, old man.”
“Yeah, funny, Jake. I guess you’ve recovered enough to make your childish jokes. And I suppose the recharge time depends on the attractiveness of the target?”
“Right. But seriously, it’s a big weapon, and I’m not sure whether it’s mobile.”
__________________
Al
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06-04-2015, 04:36 PM
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#11
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 8,368
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TromboneAl
it’s a big weapon, and I’m not sure whether it’s mobile.”
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"Plus, it's sensitive technology....."
OK, I've done enough damage for one session.
__________________
"Exit, pursued by a bear."
The Winter's Tale, William Shakespeare
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06-04-2015, 04:44 PM
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#12
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Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Northern Illinois
Posts: 16,543
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I'm with others here - I like the joke, but does it fit the characters?
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06-04-2015, 04:46 PM
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#13
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 2,610
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nemo2
Perhaps the other guy could ask if the recharge time depends on the target.
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+1
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06-04-2015, 06:02 PM
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#14
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Hooverville
Posts: 22,983
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TromboneAl
Please Approve This Joke
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As requested, I approve this joke.
Ha
__________________
"As a general rule, the more dangerous or inappropriate a conversation, the more interesting it is."-Scott Adams
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06-07-2015, 07:57 AM
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#15
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 12,880
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I decided it didn't feel right and I took it out of the book. Thanks for the help.
__________________
Al
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06-07-2015, 06:10 PM
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#16
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Thousand Oaks
Posts: 1,111
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TromboneAl
I decided it didn't feel right and I took it out of the book. Thanks for the help.
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Yeah - if you find yourself questioning it, it should probably be cut.
Sent from my iPhone using Early Retirement Forum
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06-07-2015, 06:15 PM
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#17
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 8,368
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TromboneAl
I decided it didn't feel right and I took it out of the book. Thanks for the help.
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But..but....I bought a whole pack of ballpoint pens in anticipation of the book signings!
__________________
"Exit, pursued by a bear."
The Winter's Tale, William Shakespeare
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06-08-2015, 12:37 PM
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#18
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Pacific latitude 20/49
Posts: 7,677
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__________________
For the fun of it...Keith
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