Poll: Gravesite or not?

[rodi]

Other. Planning to donate bodies to medical school for lab use. I guess, in the end, they'll end up being cremated, but neither of us care.

Yes. Our wills state organ donation, followed by medical school donation if we don't die in circumstances that would allow the organs to be used.

My physical therapist was telling me about dissecting cadavers to learn about anatomy in relation to PT treatment. Bodies were so scarce, and costly, that eight students had to share one, which came down to each student only getting a little piece of the body part they were studying. I asked if there was an upper age limit on the cadavers. She said absolutely not. Patients come in all ages, after all. Also, the presence of physical issues suffered by the body's original owner (like arthritis and artificial joints) is considered instructive!

This. It's my family tradition. Maternal grandparents, and my parents all donated to UCSD medical school. They harvest organs, if possible, to help the living, then, if there is enough body left over it gets used as a cadaver for medical students. For my mom, her cancer was so bad that cadaver was the only use. My dad's body they took the corneas (corneii?) and skin (for burn patients)... but said there would still be able to use it as a cadaver. Since he had cancer they didn't want any of his major organs like heart, liver, lungs.

One thing to note - at least for our local medical school - you need to have a notarized form on file prior to death. Not something that can be decided after the fact. So if this is something you are interested in - plan ahead.


Hubbies side is all about the funeral with casket. Even though they cremate and inter in a columbariam they still do the casket viewing. Different culture (Italian Catholic) vs my family (agnostic WASP). His plan is breaking a bit with that - cremation and ashes scattered in his favorite places.

 

[NW-Bound]

There's a new method: organic burial pod that turns you into fertilizer for a tree.

Instead of pushing daisies, you could be pushing a tall tree.

 

[athena53]

Cremation. DH died in 2016 after a long illness and we agreed he'd be cremated- both of us were too practical and too cheap to choose an in-ground burial and I was able to give some money instead to my stepson and to DS' impecunious brother and SIL, in amounts DH and I had agreed on. I was the one who proposed dropping bits of his ashes all over the world in my travels and he loved hat (we'd traveled a lot together)- so far he's in 3 places in the US and 8 other countries. I'm not done yet. Whatever is left when my time comes will be mixed with my ashes and DS and DDIL can do anything they want with them.

Best disposal ever: Dad was in the steel business and when a colleague died, they found that he had asked that some of his ashes be thrown into the electric furnace during the making of a heat (batch) of steel. They complied.

I can see the attraction to cemeteries; the guy I'm dating now has family interred in picturesque church yards behind small churches in Iowa and MO and his Dad, a WWII Marine veteran, is buried with his mother at Leavenworth. We've visited all of them but he's noted sadly that he may be the last generation to visit, especially the two more remote ones.

 

[Koolau]

One of our favorite spots on the Island is a huge inter-faith cemetery named Valley of the Temples - Yes, there are temples there and WHAT temples there are! You find very traditional burial plots, urn storage units, small and large mausoleums, etc. The "faiths" are segregated but we love to look all around and see the different styles of markers and we are especially fascinated by the various ways folks celebrate their departed. One of my favorites - forget the faith - visits the grave on special occasions and has a picnic with their loved ones - living and departed. They often leave an array of food or drink items on the graves - from fresh fruit to favorite soft drinks, chips, cookies, etc.

The site is well maintained and the views there are stunning. Just in front of the people cemetery is a pet cemetery. DW and I have agreed to have our ashes spread over the pet cemetery. Talk about inter-faith! YMMV

 

[MuirWannabe]

Burial for DW & I. Haven’t yet, but plan to purchase our plots in local cemetery. Guess we should probably hurry since tomorrow is not guaranteed to anyone. We do like having it already done to make less work/decisions for our kids.

 

[RobbieB]

Just toast me. I require no etched granite proclaiming my existence.

 

[aaronc879]

I will be cremated. If I die young my Mom may hold onto the urn for a while but eventually my ashes will be scattered at the local State Park.

 

[Dash man]

We bought plots and paid for everything up front so the kids don’t need to be concerned with it. My parents both made it easy for us and it was a blessing. The cemetery is just down the road from our church. We considered the VA cemetery at Washington’s Crossing, but it’s an hour and a half drive. We didn’t want to put family or our priest through that.

 

[Koolau]

I will be cremated. If I die young my Mom may hold onto the urn for a while but eventually my ashes will be scattered at the local State Park.

Another apocryphal story: A guy's DW passes on so he has her cremated and her ashes proudly displayed in a fancy urn on the mantle. After the appropriate grieving period, hubby reinstates the Friday night poker game that had always driven his DW to leave for the evening. Naturally, alcohol WAS involved at these events. Guys now took to lifting the lid on the urn and flicking their cigar ashes into it. One day, a guy remarked that "Hey, I think Doris is putting on a bit of weight."

 

[Lewis Clark]

My wife and I will be cremated. Our ashes will be mixed into the cement of an artificial reef which will be installed in the Gulf of Mexico near Sarasota, FL.

https://www.eternalreefs.com/sarasota/

 

[Scrapr]

Cremation. DH died in 2016 after a long illness and we agreed he'd be cremated- both of us were too practical and too cheap to choose an in-ground burial and I was able to give some money instead to my stepson and to DS' impecunious brother and SIL, in amounts DH and I had agreed on. I was the one who proposed dropping bits of his ashes all over the world in my travels and he loved hat (we'd traveled a lot together)- so far he's in 3 places in the US and 8 other countries. I'm not done yet. Whatever is left when my time comes will be mixed with my ashes and DS and DDIL can do anything they want with them.

Best disposal ever: Dad was in the steel business and when a colleague died, they found that he had asked that some of his ashes be thrown into the electric furnace during the making of a heat (batch) of steel. They complied.

May I ask how it was transporting ashes out of the country? Our son is supposed to mix my ashes & my late wife's ashes & spread them in Little Cayman. "Little" was one of our best vacations ever. IDK if our boy is going to have trouble transporting ashes

I spread some of my wife's ashes in a mountain lake & on the snow on a local mountain. I also did a Memorial bench near our old home. It gives me a place to go to remember. I laminate a picture & pick up some flowers to leave there. I'll tell my boy to leave some of my ashes on a residential construction site.

 

[Koolau]

May I ask how it was transporting ashes out of the country? Our son is supposed to mix my ashes & my late wife's ashes & spread them in Little Cayman. "Little" was one of our best vacations ever. IDK if our boy is going to have trouble transporting ashes

I spread some of my wife's ashes in a mountain lake & on the snow on a local mountain. I also did a Memorial bench near our old home. It gives me a place to go to remember. I laminate a picture & pick up some flowers to leave there. I'll tell my boy to leave some of my ashes on a residential construction site.

When I transported my sister's ashes WITHIN the US 30+ years back, there was a requirement for specific paperwork from the funeral home to do so. It was pretty much pro forma kind of stuff and IIRC it was to show appropriate conformance to health laws/issues.

I would strongly urge checking both country's laws on such hand carrying of ashes. With current paranoia over health and transportation safety and drug trafficking, you don't want a question to arise without the right form in hand. Too bad, really, but just one more potential issue of the age we occupy. As always, YMMV.

 

[splitwdw]

We are not cemetery visitors but due to covid restrictions family and friends have asked me to visit their relatives at the Washington Crossing National Cemetery. When it's time my grandparents, parents and other local family members will go there. Some to gravesites, some to niches and they have a scattering area for ashes that my husband and I will go to when it's time.

 

[ERD50]

Originally Posted by steelyman View Post
I’d love to have my ashes scattered over Wrigley Field but that’s unlikely.

Very unlikely to be scattered by helicopter or small plane. I believe wrigley field is a no fly zone.

Or does that fall under the infield fly rule?

-ERD50

 

[Scuba]

We definitely want to be cremated and scattered. I used to want to be scattered in the Caribbean, one of our favorite vacation destinations. Then we realized that would be a lot of trouble and probably complicated to execute, so now we just want the ashes scattered locally in an outdoor location with natural beauty.

 

[6miths]

Come on baby light my fire! Burn, baby, burn! Actually a cairn would be kinda cool. I care not to be honest. As long as costs and impact are minimal.

 

[savory]

Other. Planning to donate bodies to medical school for lab use. I guess, in the end, they'll end up being cremated, but neither of us care.

This is our plan as well. DW has completed her paperwork. I need to get to mine.

I am hoping they have the ability to still make some corrections. Perhaps they will be able to improve my outside shot so if there are pick-up games at where I am going, I might be on a team that can hold the court longer.

 

[street]

I’d love to have my ashes scattered over Wrigley Field but that’s unlikely.

Interesting! I bet there are more ashes on that field then anyone knows. Might not be legal but I don't think it would that hard to deposit some ashes on that field.

 

[jimbee]

Cut up for any useful spare parts, the rest can decay away.

 

[USGrant1962]

I voted "other". Morbid topic, and as an early retiree not really on my radar.

 

[steelyman]

Interesting! I bet there are more ashes on that field then anyone knows. Might not be legal but I don't think it would that hard to deposit some ashes on that field.

I’m thinking Steely Goat!

 

[Telly]

46 replies, and not one of them mentions a Viking Funeral! I am surprised!

Where do you expect to end up?

I'm thinking in the footing of a concrete column holding up a highway bridge near Detroit. Preferably one column over from Jimmy's.

 

[mountainsoft]

I voted traditional burial. My wife and I already bought our plots next to each other a several years ago. We're planning to have the headstone made at some point too, and just have the dates added when we finally go. But we haven't been motivated to do that yet. My wife is worried the stone will degrade and look bad before we even die.

We chose a small cemetery not far from our home. They allow "green" burials, either with a simple cloth or biodegradable coffins. We are planning to go that route and avoid the expensive coffins, liners, etc.

When my dad died 30+ years ago, I discovered he had purchased a burial plot for me next to him. I had no interest in being buried back there, so I donated that plot back to the cemetery.

 

[VanWinkle]

Ashes will be buried in my church prayer garden in the same location as my DW. There are no headstones but a brick with name and birth/death dates in the walking path of the prayer garden. I showed my son the exact location as 6 feet from a prayer bench facing north. It will make the kids feel better knowing our ashes are together.

 

[ExFlyBoy5]

Some scatter the ashes in a memorable place even at Walt Disney World.

WDW really frowns on this and if the spreader is caught, they will likely be banned from the parks FOR LIFE.

Personally, plan for DW and me is a "green" burial on family land a little south of where I live in a simple burlap sack or one box. Truly old school.

I am NOT a fan of modern day funerals including embalming and the processes that are involved in embalming. I know I will be dead and shouldn't care...but the whole process is nauseating to me.