View Poll Results: Where do you expect to end up?
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Traditional burial in a cemetery
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41 |
15.95% |
Burial of ashes in a cemetery gravesite
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25 |
9.73% |
Interment of ashes other than in ground (columbarium, etc.)
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17 |
6.61% |
Scattering of ashes (land or sea)
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141 |
54.86% |
“Natural” burial (no casket, very “green” situation
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11 |
4.28% |
Other (please explain)
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22 |
8.56% |
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05-27-2021, 08:53 AM
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#61
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Moderator
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Flyover country
Posts: 25,199
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I was impressed when I asked my parents about their wishes. Dad looked at me like I had three heads and said "Why would I care? I'll be dead."
I pressed him a bit and he finally told me to scatter his ashes in Jamaica Bay where he used to fish. Much later when Mom was going, she had the same reaction, then finally told me to put hers in the same place.
They had both grown up during the Depression, so I thought they would have a more traditional attitude, but I felt they made a good choice.
__________________
I thought growing old would take longer.
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05-27-2021, 08:59 AM
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#62
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Full time employment: Posting here.
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Orlando, Fl
Posts: 950
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I voted "other". I have had many much loved pets, and have had them all cremated. I keep their ashes in a large marble urn.
I want to be cremated and my ashes mixed together with theirs. Then....I don't really care what happens to us.
__________________
"Some people describe themselves as being able to see things as a glass half full. For some, the glass is half empty. Me? I can't even find the f***king glass."
Silver
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05-27-2021, 09:06 AM
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#63
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 5,862
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Do not care. I will not be there. It will be cremation. No need to plant the jug anywhere. Scatter the ashes wherever.
Both my parent arranges their own. It was the same for them. Straight simple cremation. End of.
I certainly do not want my loved ones making the trip to a plot in the ground or a hole in the wall to talk to what is a bunch of nothing.
Same the time, expense. Go out for a slap up meal at a first rate restaurant. Have a glass of red wine for me.
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05-27-2021, 09:18 AM
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#64
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 5,803
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Wasn't able to vote, have two choices--cremation or green burial.
Prefer cremation and scatter ashes at the beach. One child not ok with the scattering part, so maybe a green burial. I don't care as long as there are minimal costs and the kids don't argue.
__________________
Give a Man a fish, he will eat for a day.
Teach a Man to fish, he will eat for a lifetime.
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05-27-2021, 09:31 AM
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#65
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 3,679
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I have told DH and our sons that I would like any usable parts to be donated if possible. Then I want to be directly cremated. No embalming, no viewing. Keep me around in an urn if you feel the need but eventually put the ashes in The Cuyahoga River. I've spent my entire life near the river and feel like that would be the place to end up. I've made it clear that I don't want to be taking up space for an eternity.
My parents and grandparents are all buried in the same cemetery. I have visited and taken pictures. Yes, it's a comfort and the history of their lives is important. But after my generation and my kid's generation who is going to visit more than once? I just don't feel the need to be preserved and saved in a plot.
We all refer to "ashes" after cremation. In my 30's a friend died of cancer and her husband invited all of us to be there when he scattered her cremains in a river. As he poured it all out of a box I was surprised at how little of it was ashes. Most of it was pieces like small gravel and some were bigger pieces that almost looked like small bones. It didn't scatter. It was a little shocking. But I still believe in cremation.
__________________
Married, both 69. DH retired June, 2010. I have a pleasant little part time job.
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05-27-2021, 09:35 AM
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#66
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Moderator
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Flyover country
Posts: 25,199
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sue J
As he poured it all out of a box I was surprised at how little of it was ashes. Most of it was pieces like small gravel and some were bigger pieces that almost looked like small bones.
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My understanding is that what you get is almost entirely pulverized bone.
__________________
I thought growing old would take longer.
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05-27-2021, 09:41 AM
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#67
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Administrator
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Chicagoland
Posts: 40,586
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There’s always Willie Nelson’s request, expressed in a song.
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05-27-2021, 09:52 AM
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#68
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Jun 2002
Posts: 1,635
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Haven’t decided for sure on burial vs. cremation. But final location will be the Mass. National Cemetery on Cape Cod. It’s close to where we live and a very nicely maintained cemetery likely to remain that way. Don’t really care about the military pomp which is an option there. Besides, we’ve always thought it would be nice to spend more time at the Cape.
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friar1610
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05-27-2021, 09:57 AM
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#69
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Florida's First Coast
Posts: 7,666
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Both Our wills say "Cremation, with immediate disposition with no fanfare". Yes Bolded! Definitely no ceremony, service or wake of any kind. They can do what they like with us when we have both Karked it. If one of us dies before the other, things are a little different as DW want to keep my ashes in a pot. I would prefer scattering in the ocean but one picks one battles. I will probably scatter hers if she goes before me.
__________________
"Never Argue With a Fool, Onlookers May Not Be Able To Tell the Difference." - Mark Twain
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05-27-2021, 10:14 AM
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#70
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 7,326
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Quote:
Originally Posted by braumeister
My understanding is that what you get is almost entirely pulverized bone.
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It depends on how well they processed what was left. I got some chips and also found DH's dental implant! I thought that was pretty interesting- so did our dentist and our oral surgeon when I asked if they wanted to see it (sealed in a plastic bag).
Quote:
Originally Posted by ShokWaveRider
Both Our wills say "Cremation, with immediate disposition with no fanfare".
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Wills typically aren't read till after the funeral. Make sure those instructions are someplace your loved ones can find them immediately, and let them know now if possible. I've already told DS that if he stages a "Celebration of Life" with a balloon release (very bad for the critters) instead of a proper Requiem mass with incense I'm going to come back and haunt him.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nick12
Disney plays an important part in people's lives and no surprise their final resting place is at the happiest place on earth.
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Note to self: Notify DS of one OTHER farewell practice which will motivate me to come back and haunt him.
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05-27-2021, 10:24 AM
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#71
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Full time employment: Posting here.
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 566
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DW & I have chosen cryonic suspension, with certain exceptions. At the very least, we may be mentioned in a National Geographic article in a hundred years.
_B
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05-27-2021, 10:27 AM
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#72
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gone traveling
Join Date: Dec 2018
Posts: 1,196
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ExFlyBoy5
WDW really frowns on this and if the spreader is caught, they will likely be banned from the parks FOR LIFE.
Personally, plan for DW and me is a "green" burial on family land a little south of where I live in a simple burlap sack or one box. Truly old school.
I am NOT a fan of modern day funerals including embalming and the processes that are involved in embalming. I know I will be dead and shouldn't care...but the whole process is nauseating to me.
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That's a broad assumption banned for life. Disney plays an important part in peoples lives and no surprise their final resting place is at the happiest place on earth.
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05-27-2021, 11:13 AM
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#73
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Florida's First Coast
Posts: 7,666
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Quote:
Originally Posted by athena53
Wills typically aren't read till after the funeral. Make sure those instructions are someplace your loved ones can find them immediately, and let them know now if possible.
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Our will has a separate "Final Disposition" instructions section. I thought all well prepared wills had this. Ours certainly has.
__________________
"Never Argue With a Fool, Onlookers May Not Be Able To Tell the Difference." - Mark Twain
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05-27-2021, 11:24 AM
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#74
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Full time employment: Posting here.
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 629
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Traditional cemetery burial. After my husband died I bought the plot next because who knows if it will be available in the future. Cremation isn't allowed in our religion or I might have considered that option.
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05-27-2021, 11:44 AM
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#75
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 12,598
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That is true. Very, very small bits, but recognizably bone. My Dad's went into the garden of the house we used to own, because he thought the garden was terrific. Probably the new owners have had it plowed under and turned into grass, a swimming pool or some such.
Quote:
Originally Posted by braumeister
My understanding is that what you get is almost entirely pulverized bone.
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__________________
If you understood everything I say, you'd be me ~ Miles Davis
'There is only one success – to be able to spend your life in your own way.’ Christopher Morley.
Even a blind clock finds an acorn twice a day.
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05-27-2021, 12:00 PM
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#76
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Chicago
Posts: 13,151
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We thought we'd go the cremation and scatter the ashes route. Then we had a few experiences with relatives or friends passing that changed our minds.......
DW's brother passed, was cremated and his ashes scattered in a beautiful mountain meadow near a sibling's home in the Vail, Colorado area. Nice. But after a couple of years, My DW, and even her sister on whose property the ashes were scattered, felt they wanted some place more specific to visit to remember their brother. We wound up buying (at no small cost!) a commemorative brick on a memorial wall at his alma mater (the same school I attended BTW). So now, from time to time at homecoming weekends, etc., we visit the wall. DW likes it. Therefore it works for us.
My best friend died a couple of years ago. We were tight buddies since we were 4 years old and true kindred spirits. He was cremated and his ashes scattered at Solder Field and Sox Park in Chicago where he held season tickets and was a big fan. But after a year or so, his son (my Godson) decided to use one of the spaces in the family plot for him and had a marker put in despite the fact no physical material (ashes or body) was there. I have lots of family at the same cemetery and when visiting enjoy the fact I can walk over and "say hello."
And there are some additional examples, less related, I won't bore you with.
Sooooo...... Given the fact there is a family plot, DW and I have decided we'll have markers and be there with the rest. If no one knows or cares a generation or two down the road, it won't matter to us....... we're dead. If someone likes to take the family tree and walk around and see the names on the graves, that's fine too.
__________________
"I wasn't born blue blood. I was born blue-collar." John Wort Hannam
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05-27-2021, 12:21 PM
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#77
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Willamette Valley, Oregon
Posts: 1,979
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Quote:
Originally Posted by youbet
. Given the fact there is a family plot, DW and I have decided we'll have markers and be there with the rest. If no one knows or cares a generation or two down the road, it won't matter to us....... we're dead. If someone likes to take the family tree and walk around and see the names on the graves, that's fine too.
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To a large degree, it really is about the living, those left behind.
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Dreams Worth Dreaming are Dreams Worth Planning For. I Spent a Career Planning for Early Retirement.
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05-27-2021, 12:29 PM
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#78
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Chicago
Posts: 13,151
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RetireeRobert
To a large degree, it really is about the living, those left behind.
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Absolutely. We don't believe it will make a difference to us. So it's a consideration of what we think the kids, grand kids, relatives, friends would like. And if nobody ever visits or even knows your remains are there, so what?
__________________
"I wasn't born blue blood. I was born blue-collar." John Wort Hannam
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05-27-2021, 12:30 PM
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#79
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Red Rock Country
Posts: 1,915
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Combine aspects of the Tibetan Sky Burial and donating the body to science and you get how they do it in Texas!
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05-27-2021, 12:36 PM
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#80
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 2,983
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Hopefully the old 7 Mile Bridge in the Keys will be restored before I'm gone. Whoever is interested can drop me off the side. Even with the trip it should be cheaper than a traditional funeral. However DW does not share my dreams. We'll discuss it later.
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Took SS at 62 and hope I live long enough to regret the decision.
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