View Poll Results: Marital Status
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Men…I’ve never been married and don’t plan to marry
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18 |
10.11% |
Men…I’ve been married and don’t plan to marry again
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12 |
6.74% |
Men…I’m married now, but if I became single I don’t plan to marry again
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47 |
26.40% |
Men…I’ve never been married but may marry someday
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10 |
5.62% |
Men…I’ve been married but may marry again someday
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2 |
1.12% |
Men…I’m married now, but if I became single I may marry again
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26 |
14.61% |
Women…I’ve never been married and don’t plan to marry
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6 |
3.37% |
Women…I’ve been married and don’t plan to marry again
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18 |
10.11% |
Women…I’m married now, but if I became single I don’t plan to marry again
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25 |
14.04% |
Women…I’ve never been married but may marry someday
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1 |
0.56% |
Women…I’ve been married but may marry again someday
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7 |
3.93% |
Women…I’m married now, but if I became single I may marry again
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6 |
3.37% |
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06-21-2010, 06:02 PM
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#162
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Collin County, TX
Posts: 9,296
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Interesting article, thanks......perhaps I'm not as bbb as I thought....
__________________
There's no need to complicate, our time is short..
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06-21-2010, 06:04 PM
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#163
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Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 23,036
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Ahhhh, the certainty of youth.
__________________
Living an analog life in the Digital Age.
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06-21-2010, 07:48 PM
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#164
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 35,712
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Quote:
Originally Posted by omni550
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From the article, "... as many as 60 percent of men and half of women will have sex with somebody other than their spouse during their marriage."
Wow! Sixty percent of men and fifty percent of the women. I know I belong to the 40% of men who do not cheat, and I have every reason to believe my wife belongs to the nice 50% of females.
How do they get this statistics anyway?
__________________
"Old age is the most unexpected of all things that happen to a man" -- Leon Trotsky (1879-1940)
"Those Who Can Make You Believe Absurdities Can Make You Commit Atrocities" - Voltaire (1694-1778)
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06-21-2010, 08:00 PM
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#165
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Collin County, TX
Posts: 9,296
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NW-Bound
How do they get this statistics anyway?
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Maybe they take a poll like this one....
http://www.early-retirement.org/foru...hlight=cheated
__________________
There's no need to complicate, our time is short..
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06-21-2010, 08:02 PM
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#166
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 35,712
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Thanks for pointing that out. It must have been during my hiatus. So, I just voted.
__________________
"Old age is the most unexpected of all things that happen to a man" -- Leon Trotsky (1879-1940)
"Those Who Can Make You Believe Absurdities Can Make You Commit Atrocities" - Voltaire (1694-1778)
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06-21-2010, 08:17 PM
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#167
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Hooverville
Posts: 22,983
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bbbamI
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I can't remember.
Quote:
Wow! Sixty percent of men and fifty percent of the women. I know I belong to the 40% of men who do not cheat, and I have every reason to believe my wife belongs to the nice 50% of females.
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There is a fallacy in this statement. Just because a person has had sex with someone other than her/his partner, does not mean s/he has cheated. Partners many have an agreement, may have a distance and time rule (if one of us is more than an x hour flight away for y time, ok to have sex), or if one of us is ill for an extended time it's Ok to have sex, or couples may have many different ways of dealing with desire either implicitly or explicitly expressed. Of course I will admit that likely the most common rule is always deny, unless caught red-handed, and then quickly get really, really contrite.
And although I am sure this has nothing to do with your wife's status, it is quite possible that a woman who has had some extramarital partners is also very "nice". There are many reasons for extramarital sex other than being "not nice", whatever that is supposed to mean.
Ha
__________________
"As a general rule, the more dangerous or inappropriate a conversation, the more interesting it is."-Scott Adams
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06-21-2010, 08:17 PM
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#168
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Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: New Orleans
Posts: 47,500
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It's pretty shocking to me, too, NW-Bound. I never cheated on my ex during our 23 year marriage, and I am absolutely certain he never cheated on me either. But I think we were in the minority on that.
Besides, have you ever seen the Jerry Springer Show?
__________________
Already we are boldly launched upon the deep; but soon we shall be lost in its unshored, harbourless immensities. - - H. Melville, 1851.
Happily retired since 2009, at age 61. Best years of my life by far!
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06-21-2010, 08:18 PM
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#169
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 35,712
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Quote:
Originally Posted by haha
I can't remember.
Ha
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Good answer! No risk of perjury that way!
__________________
"Old age is the most unexpected of all things that happen to a man" -- Leon Trotsky (1879-1940)
"Those Who Can Make You Believe Absurdities Can Make You Commit Atrocities" - Voltaire (1694-1778)
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06-21-2010, 08:23 PM
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#170
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 35,712
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I have heard his name, and I might have stumbled across his show while channel surfing, but did not watch for long.
I watch less and less TV nowadays, not even my favorite cooking shows with Alton Brown (Good Eats) and Tony Bourdain travel shows (No Reservations).
__________________
"Old age is the most unexpected of all things that happen to a man" -- Leon Trotsky (1879-1940)
"Those Who Can Make You Believe Absurdities Can Make You Commit Atrocities" - Voltaire (1694-1778)
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06-21-2010, 08:32 PM
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#171
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 35,712
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Quote:
Originally Posted by haha
...it is quite possible that a woman who has had some extramarital partners is also very "nice"...
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I used the word "nice" in describing the half of the women who do not have extramarital sex because I made my post in a hurry.
I am sure there are cheating women who are very, very "nice" , in a different meaning of course.
__________________
"Old age is the most unexpected of all things that happen to a man" -- Leon Trotsky (1879-1940)
"Those Who Can Make You Believe Absurdities Can Make You Commit Atrocities" - Voltaire (1694-1778)
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06-21-2010, 08:47 PM
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#172
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Hooverville
Posts: 22,983
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Likewise, there are plenty of women who have not had extramarital sex (I don't wish to use your preferred term "cheating" ) who are complete harridans, and far from being nice to be around.
Also, I would like to say that being "sure" that a spouse has not had sex outside of marriage is like being sure that one's teenager has never smoked pot. Unless you shadowing them 24/7, how could one be "sure".
Ha
__________________
"As a general rule, the more dangerous or inappropriate a conversation, the more interesting it is."-Scott Adams
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06-21-2010, 09:04 PM
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#173
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Portland
Posts: 2,038
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thinker25
I had a bad marriage 30 years ago. Now I've been in a good relationship for almost 18 years. We own a house together and live together. I don't see any advantage to getting married - at this point - and a lot of financial hassles that we currently don't have. We DO need to get some legal work done regarding health POA and so on. Waiting until I have free time in a few weeks.
I'm not sure what I'm in is different from a marriage - except it is complicated what to call him. Boyfriend is ridiculous. Significant Other is a mouthful. Husband is often what I use. My Guy sometimes... We need a term for this when you're both over 60!
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I guess the grass is always greener. I would love to be able to marry my partner, but as a gay couple we can not.
To answer the OPs question. I don't know. We've only been together 22 years, but I can't imagine life without her. I think I would die of a broken heart if I lost her.
To put it in the context of this board; I would rather work for the rest of my life and be with my partner than be retired without her.
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06-21-2010, 09:23 PM
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#174
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Collin County, TX
Posts: 9,296
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Helen
I guess the grass is always greener. I would love to be able to marry my partner, but as a gay couple we can not.
To answer the OPs question. I don't know. We've only been together 22 years, but I can't imagine life without her. I think I would die of a broken heart if I lost her.
To put it in the context of this board; I would rather work for the rest of my life and be with my partner than be retired without her.
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Your post touched my heart.
__________________
There's no need to complicate, our time is short..
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06-21-2010, 10:40 PM
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#175
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 35,712
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__________________
"Old age is the most unexpected of all things that happen to a man" -- Leon Trotsky (1879-1940)
"Those Who Can Make You Believe Absurdities Can Make You Commit Atrocities" - Voltaire (1694-1778)
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06-21-2010, 10:54 PM
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#176
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Hooverville
Posts: 22,983
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NW-Bound
No argument here!
Then, perhaps we are indeed different than most couples. In our 30 years of marriage, fidelity has never been questioned.
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It appears that I am being misunderstood. I am sure that your marriage is perfect and as pure as the driven snow; I thought we were discussing events in a more general way. Do you not know people, or have read about cases where a spouse suddenly wants a divorce, and it comes out during the proceedings that s/he has been carrying on an affair sometimes for years? Or of cases where a 20 or even 30 year affair only comes to light after the involved party has passed?
Everyone is not so stupid as to leave matchbook covers and sexual text messages from their lovers lying around the house, or to make ridiculous confessions, or look guilty. At least some of them are not in fact feeling guilty at all.
Also I am not saying anything about "most couples". What would I know about most couples? I only know what I know, and that includes the demonstrated fact that a great many people get totally blindsided if/when an affair on the part of their spouse comes to light. It takes a certain degree of arrogance to assume that one's spouse would under no circumstances take another lover.
Ha
__________________
"As a general rule, the more dangerous or inappropriate a conversation, the more interesting it is."-Scott Adams
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06-21-2010, 10:58 PM
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#177
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 35,712
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OK, I will retract the word "most". It is really inappropriate, given that only about half of the people who were polled admitted to extramarital affairs. It still leaves about 1/2 of the couples claiming to be pure, which is not a minuscule minority. I should have used the word "some". Is that better? :-)
__________________
"Old age is the most unexpected of all things that happen to a man" -- Leon Trotsky (1879-1940)
"Those Who Can Make You Believe Absurdities Can Make You Commit Atrocities" - Voltaire (1694-1778)
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06-21-2010, 11:13 PM
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#178
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 35,712
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Arghh... Think about it, I have made a big assumption that the cheating untruthful whatever men are married to similar women. That is of course not at all true, meaning we would suspect that in many cases, one side of a marriage has no inkling that the other half has extramarital affairs. That was what Ha described.
So, the percentage of marriages where both sides are truthful may be quite a bit smaller than 40%. The latter is the percentage of men who claim to commit no adultery, but some of them might have a wife who does.
__________________
"Old age is the most unexpected of all things that happen to a man" -- Leon Trotsky (1879-1940)
"Those Who Can Make You Believe Absurdities Can Make You Commit Atrocities" - Voltaire (1694-1778)
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06-21-2010, 11:29 PM
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#179
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Hooverville
Posts: 22,983
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NW-Bound
From the article, "... as many as 60 percent of men and half of women will have sex with somebody other than their spouse during their marriage."
Wow! Sixty percent of men and fifty percent of the women.
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I am not a sociologist, but I have a fair to middling understanding of numbers. And this quote from you suggests that out of 100 marriages, the absolute maximum number of unadulterated marriages is 40. If all women were pure, but 60% of men go walkabout, that means 60 out of 100 marriages have at least one cheating partner. If one posited minimal theoretical overlap, 100% of marriages would house at least one adulterer. However, we might guess that sometimes both the husband and the wife are naughty, so it appears that theoretically, and taking from the data in your quote, out of 100 marriages the minimum number that contain at least one adulterer is 60, and the maximum would be 100.
If this data is accurate, marriages without at least one adulterer are in the minority. How small that minority is we don’t have data to decide.
Ha
__________________
"As a general rule, the more dangerous or inappropriate a conversation, the more interesting it is."-Scott Adams
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06-21-2010, 11:32 PM
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#180
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 35,712
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We obviously cross-posted. Please see my post right above yours. Yes, marriages with both sides being truthful are in a definite minority, and difficult to quantify.
__________________
"Old age is the most unexpected of all things that happen to a man" -- Leon Trotsky (1879-1940)
"Those Who Can Make You Believe Absurdities Can Make You Commit Atrocities" - Voltaire (1694-1778)
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