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08-26-2019, 04:33 PM
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#21
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 1,110
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Two other things to consider. Does your school district offer a pre-school option that feeds into kindergarten? If so, that would minimize the extra transition. The other is I wonder what the cost differential is between daycare and pre-school with after care. My guess would be not huge?
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08-26-2019, 05:04 PM
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#22
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gone traveling
Join Date: Jan 2019
Location: NW Ohio
Posts: 1,156
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So many of us on these forums are well adjusted adults, that didn't go through any pre-school, or daycare at all. As said before, don't attempt to compete with other parents for bragging rights, or school placements, it will ultimately move your child ahead, only in your opinion.
So much emphasis is placed on early childhood development/learning, while just being a kid, and having fun outdoors is completely ignored before kindergarten officially starts. IMHO, let the child have a childhood before the real competition starts.
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08-26-2019, 05:30 PM
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#23
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Gone but not forgotten
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Sarasota,fl.
Posts: 11,447
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ckelly78z
So much emphasis is placed on early childhood development/learning, while just being a kid, and having fun outdoors is completely ignored before kindergarten officially starts. IMHO, let the child have a childhood before the real competition starts.
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The competition starts early so if your child is one of the few that does not go to preschool they are already behind the curve . I sent both my children to pre school .
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08-26-2019, 05:34 PM
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#24
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: St. Charles
Posts: 3,915
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Moemg
The competition starts early so if your child is one of the few that does not go to preschool they are already behind the curve . I sent both my children to pre school .
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And, IMHO, that is the problem. WHAT competition? I thought kids were supposed to have fun, and not have a care in the world?
Silly me.
__________________
If your not living on the edge, you're taking up too much space.
Never slow down, never grow old!
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08-26-2019, 05:46 PM
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#25
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 1,110
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ckelly78z
So many of us on these forums are well adjusted adults, that didn't go through any pre-school, or daycare at all. As said before, don't attempt to compete with other parents for bragging rights, or school placements, it will ultimately move your child ahead, only in your opinion.
So much emphasis is placed on early childhood development/learning, while just being a kid, and having fun outdoors is completely ignored before kindergarten officially starts. IMHO, let the child have a childhood before the real competition starts.
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Many of those on the forum also grew up in a different environment with respect to college costs and competitiveness. Do I really think preschool is going to make or break DDs success later in life? No. But I do want to give her every benefit I can and part of the ER deal, *for us*, is that we still want to provide the extras we value for our kids. So this means we move to a place where the school districts are strong, we budget for Montessori preschools, we have a nice budget for extra-circulars, etc... For others it might mean super elite boarding schools.
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08-26-2019, 05:48 PM
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#26
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Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 17,774
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If it matters to you, there are things like learning group skills, classroom language and behavior, directions from teachers (who are not the familiar day care provider), and things like that, that are hard to get in any other environment. I’ve seen studies on achievement rates of daycare vs sahm, but not on preschool vs no preschool. I think preschool is just what most people do now, usually when kids turn three. That doesn’t mean we should. I know sahms who did not send the kids to preschool but they were providing a ton of very individualized activities before kindergarten. My kids and grandkids all went to preschool—they all had a play-based curriculum, and none were reading before kindergarten, but imo they learned so much. We had a lot of fun with it and I don’t think it’s as competitive or status driven most places. Maybe you could find a program that doesn’t lock you into a year.
__________________
“Would you like an adventure now, or would you like to have your tea first?” J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan
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08-26-2019, 05:55 PM
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#27
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Portland, Oregon
Posts: 7,113
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My Portland grandchildren went to a school that accepted children once they were potty trained. It was preschool on steroids. It was great but frankly expensive. Most of the children's parents were Intel engineers. The children were very happy and exposed to learning concepts that are introduced at the 5th grade. They only went to 8th grade but one of their 'graduates' scored a perfect SAT as a 12th grader in a local public school.
So, private preschool or not... it depends on the school and the cost.
__________________
Duck bjorn.
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08-26-2019, 06:13 PM
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#28
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Miraflores,Peru
Posts: 1,992
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My 4 year old has been in a Catholic preschool for 2 years now and loves it. Nanny walks him to school (15 mins) at 8:15 and then we both go pick him up at 1:30. The school is Bi-lingual so he can count to 100 and do ABC's in both English and Spanish. They go on field trips all the time to the Fire house, the City Zoo, a working ranch/farm, the theatre, bakery etc. My Son loves "hailing cabs" paying for things in the store and knows where he is in about a 20 square block radius of our apartment. It is great and worth the price to give me a few hours free time to do my thing!
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08-26-2019, 07:23 PM
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#29
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Rural Alabama
Posts: 1,359
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Mine went to preschool because I worked. If I hadn't worked, I wouldn't have sent them. I read an article when the kids were little and someone had done a study about it. Pre-school kids were ahead of non preschool kids- until the second grade, after which (I seem to remember) there was little or no difference in academic performance.
__________________
Projected retirement--2020 at age 48 (done!)
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08-26-2019, 07:44 PM
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#30
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Toronto
Posts: 3,321
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My recollection is that our kids loved pre-school. Lots of activities. Lots of friends. No screen time. It's not like when we were young when bands of kids were running loose all over the neighborhood and mom's were visiting each other with all kinds of kids in tow. It is good to meet others and 'play'. The preschool our kids went too was a montessori and it wasn't at all about learning ABCs and counting.
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08-26-2019, 09:04 PM
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#31
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Moderator
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 5,762
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kgtest
Lol, I want a turn on the Silverado! DS goes to an in-home daycare, she is very passionate about the pre school part of her services. He does have 7 other children he attends with including little sis. They all seem to have fun, I get good progress notes and am able to consult with daycare provider when she or I feel we need to work on specific things. He thrives pretty well in his current setting.
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I guess I am missing something. This seems to be working out so well, why change it?
Because people that don't know your son, or how well he is doing in his current environment, are recommending it?
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Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without.
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08-26-2019, 09:06 PM
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#32
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Full time employment: Posting here.
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: The 850
Posts: 976
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Do it for the socialization with peers, let mom have a break, and get the kid exposed to discipline and structure imposed by an adult who is not a parent.
Both of mine went as soon as they were eligible. There was not a "control group" with them, but at 18 and 15 they have turned out well - very good students and well-regarded by their teachers and peers.
Both were in programs with strict behavior policies, and I'm sure the structure helped.
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Stay at home slacker dad 2015-August 2024. With the last kid gone, now actually retired
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08-26-2019, 09:43 PM
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#33
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: North
Posts: 4,043
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I want to add, our state offer's public ECFE classes, which both our kids attend, but only allow kids up until age 4, and that was almost a rec activity, they offer day and night classes and we went every Monday from birth until Now. So DS and even DD has had exposure to large class sizes, just only once a week during the school year ...and he's been in full time daycare, so combine the two experiences...and you get Kindergarten...or am I missing something?
Edit to add, DM works from home (but travels 100s of miles daily), and kids go to daycare all day, so mom has lots of breaks. This Pre school gig would actually be a burden on mom, and she is pregnant with the third.
BREAKING NEWS!
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Time > $$$ ~ 100% equities ~ FIRE @2031
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08-26-2019, 09:49 PM
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#34
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: North
Posts: 4,043
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MarieIG
I guess I am missing something. This seems to be working out so well, why change it?
Because people that don't know your son, or how well he is doing in his current environment, are recommending it?
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Well, mainly I think we were initially concerned of Oldest Child Syndrome. But just reading through this thread has sort of reassured at least me that DS is thriving and will continue to thrive, and be just fine. I talked to DW about it and we both agree he will be fine transitioning to full time all day kindergarten.
The only new thing will be riding on the bus. Not sure we will let him though lol, we can just drop him off in our cars since it's on my way home from daycare.
Some of our friends are very pro education, and I think my and DW kinda lean towards the let kids be kids...but we want to be thoughtful about it all.
I think it would stress our schedules more, which having stressed out parents might be a negative catalyst when things are actually rolling pretty good. IF it aint broke don't fix it?
__________________
Time > $$$ ~ 100% equities ~ FIRE @2031
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08-27-2019, 06:24 AM
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#35
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Rural Alabama
Posts: 1,359
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If your wife is pregnant, do whatever is easiest on your schedule. I suspect whether your child attends preschool or not will make no difference whatsoever on how they turn out. I didn't attend preschool, and I did fine in school. My kids did attend and they're fine too.
BTW, congratulations!
__________________
Projected retirement--2020 at age 48 (done!)
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08-27-2019, 07:13 AM
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#36
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Moderator
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 13,913
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kgtest
Well, mainly I think we were initially concerned of Oldest Child Syndrome.
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Oh wow that's a thing now? I'm sure they have a name for everything, but oldest, youngest, middle child... I mean, aren't about a third of us "Oldest Child" (and were adults before it was even a thing?)
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08-27-2019, 08:05 AM
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#37
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: North
Posts: 4,043
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Aerides
Oh wow that's a thing now? I'm sure they have a name for everything, but oldest, youngest, middle child... I mean, aren't about a third of us "Oldest Child" (and were adults before it was even a thing?)
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I don't know if it's a "thing" but that's sort of what DW and I are referring too.
Since he is 4 the next kid is 3, which probably really isn't a big deal. He gets along best with kids his age though so we were/are slightly concerned about the transition from 2 older boys to just him being the oldest.
As someone mentioned though, gaining leadership skills and being the big boy of the bunch might actually have some benefits.
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Time > $$$ ~ 100% equities ~ FIRE @2031
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08-27-2019, 08:06 AM
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#38
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: North
Posts: 4,043
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ugeauxgirl
If your wife is pregnant, do whatever is easiest on your schedule. I suspect whether your child attends preschool or not will make no difference whatsoever on how they turn out. I didn't attend preschool, and I did fine in school. My kids did attend and they're fine too.
BTW, congratulations!
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Thanks! Yeah, there is a lot to take into consideration and eliminating stressors from my pregnant wife might be the best choice in the end. Best for the family, best for her, best for new baby...and just fine for the boy!
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Time > $$$ ~ 100% equities ~ FIRE @2031
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08-27-2019, 08:31 AM
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#39
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 7,371
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Aerides
Oh wow that's a thing now? I'm sure they have a name for everything, but oldest, youngest, middle child... I mean, aren't about a third of us "Oldest Child" (and were adults before it was even a thing?)
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"The Birth Order Book" came out in 1985 and it's pretty interesting. I'm the oldest in my family and can see the same behavior patterns in my oldest granddaughter- serious, diligent, organized. Her younger sister is just as intelligent but more laid-back and more of a risk-taker. I took the older one to Chicago when she was only 4 but she stuck by me in crowds, behaved in the airport lounge, etc. Not sure when Little Sister will be ready for that!
"Oldest Child Syndrome" isn't necessarily something to counteract. At one point years ago, they looked at all the participants in the US astronaut program. All but two were oldest or only children. The two exceptions: one whose sibling was 10 years older and another whose older sibling died at an early age. I'd say that's pretty respectable company.
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08-27-2019, 08:39 AM
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#40
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 1,110
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After having kids, it’s pretty easy to see how birth order (and timing between kids) impacts personality. The differences in child rearing experiences are pretty striking.
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